29. CHAPTER 29 #2
At the mention of the city where Zayne lost half his division, his expression dropped. And it surprised Luke that someone as cautious and paranoid as Zayne didn't already consider the timing of the massacre.
Others may miss the grief written all over his brother every second of the day, but Luke recognized the sorrow in his detachment.
He didn't relish bringing it up, but Zayne needed his help.
“We all know you don't want to dig your way into the prisoner's heart, but you came home devastated right at the moment the Phaedra needed you vulnerable.
Normally, you'd obsess over Bluehaven. Look how distracted you've been.”
That guilt darkened his brother's eyes. Luke tracked every micro expression, needing to read Zayne, because the Phaedra did so too easily. He had to keep up, too.
He sounded too calm, and that was how Luke knew he had already started spiraling. “You're suggesting the Phaedra massacred my division to bring me home to deal with Kira?”
“The Phaedra does nothing for a single reason. But he wanted you home. And he wanted you broken.”
Zayne shifted away, eyes looking unfocused.
“You're not thinking clearly, and you don't even see that. You're too sharp to miss this.”
“What do you care?” Bitter eyes met Luke's. “Do you just want to taunt me?”
Such immaturity. Did Zayne truly believe Luke antagonized him for the fun of it? From the first day his little brother walked into the Academy, he'd done everything to keep Zayne on the right path, even when he needed to kick the man's ass back in line.
“I told you,” Luke said, quietly seething. “I'm trying to help you.”
“Why should I trust you? Give me one reason. A single one.”
The judgment—judgment that Luke deserved—drove a stake into his chest. “You're my brother.”
Zayne laughed and fell back against the wall, his shoulders shaking. “Alright. Well, if you want me to believe a word you say, then read me in on your schemes rather than doing whatever the hell you want and expecting a thank you.”
Luke's patience dwindled rapidly. “I know I fucked up with you, and I never expect you to forgive me for that. This is much bigger though.”
“Forgive you for that.” Anger as unyielding as the day Zayne discovered them three years ago burned in his stare. “You can't even say it. You fucked the woman I wanted to spend my life with.”
“I did. I'm sorry. I'm incredibly sorry. I loved her, and I was selfish.”
His brother drew back. “You loved her. You think you loved her.” Clearing his throat, he looked away. “Whatever. It doesn't matter. We don't need to do this. Father insists on us learning to work together, so here's what you're going to do. Respect my boundaries for once in your damn life.”
Luke groaned.
“Oh, no righteous speech?” Zayne asked.
“I'll adjust my strategy,” Luke said.
“Sure you will.”
“You know, when you were a child, you didn't listen to me when I told you father's blades were too heavy and sharp for you to handle. Then you almost skewered your foot with one. So, I nicked the tip of your finger to teach you how it feels to bleed by the blade.” Zayne's lifetime of stupidity infuriated him.
“How have you still not learned from all this blood?”
His brother scoffed. “You don't see how ridiculous you are.”
“You don't see how foolish you are.” Kindness did nothing for Zayne. So, Luke abandoned any measure of brotherly love, opting instead for the cutting truth. “There's nothing more dangerous than a little brat with a blade he thinks he knows how to use. I won't watch you fail this operation.”
Neither of them spoke for some time, and each second burned regret into Luke's mind. Zayne hated him.
“Thank you for so graciously helping me, brother.” Zayne placed a hand to his own chest and started toward the doorway. “I've learned so much from you.”
Luke snarled and turned away before he did something he regretted. “Don't let that woman near my child without you. I'll be back in one hour.”
“I would never let any harm come to Ainsley.”
That somehow sounded like an insult against Luke, and he deserved it if so.
He destroyed Zayne's trust in him. The most honorable thing to do was accept the consequences of his actions and never attempt to win back what he'd rightfully lost. Still, he never stopped being an older brother.
Trying to help his brother without that trust wasn't unlike cutting down a tree with nothing but his own hands. An enormous, stubborn tree with thick roots clinging to the ground it didn't want to lose.
Luke barely calmed himself down on the ride to the Phaedra's in time to meet the emperor in his study. Though he felt like he hid his feelings well, the Phaedra always read him expertly.
“Tell me what's bothering you, son.” The Phaedra already checked Luke. Damn. He'd never win.
“Nothing, my Phaedra.”
“You're brooding.”
They started a new game, but Luke knew from the first move the Phaedra had won this match. He was a master chess player, and he played the game from start to finish in his mind with ease. As skilled as the Phaedra was in chess, he was much more brilliant in politics and manipulation.
“Zayne isn't ready for this mission,” Luke said.
“You think I've made a mistake?”
He measured his words and his tone perfectly, but didn't back down. “Yes, my Phaedra.”
“You feel strongly enough about it to defy me.”
“You tell me to speak freely in your study.”
“You think I don't know what I'm doing?”
He paused, considering whether to say the next part. “I think your love for Zayne clouds your view of him.”