46. CHAPTER 46
Kira
The Capital
Kallum, Ciondo
The stench of massacre choked Kira's lungs. She couldn't register what she saw, no matter how hard she looked. Everything blurred.
“Welcome, Ms. Stiles.” The Phaedra held his cigar, smoke clouding his face. “Your mother finally proved herself useful. We held the line a few seconds longer than we first believed and recovered enough of the address to find this sleeper cell of terrorists.”
Her vision of the room narrowed to a pile of clothes and matted hair behind the Phaedra. Where were the people they belonged to? Blinking a few times, her sluggish thoughts bubbled to the surface of her mind, and she realized she was staring into hazel eyes.
They were dying.
All that blood.
She had to save them.
Kira staggered forward, not sure why she couldn't walk. Maybe she was dead too.
The lights in the room dimmed, and the floor tilted. Her eyes fluttered.
Thoughts screamed inside of her so loudly, but she couldn't understand them.
Hands clasped her shoulders, and everything felt unsteady when she turned her head, looking up into Zayne's eyes. But he didn't look like himself. He looked like the Zayne Riven from the first day in the prison, with the cold glare.
“Try not to faint, Ms. Stiles.” The Phaedra sounded annoyed. “Bring her over here, Zayne. Careful. We don't want her slipping on the way.”
“I need to help her.” Kira lifted a violently shaking finger to point at the woman whose eyes she looked into. “She's bleeding.”
“Quiet,” Zayne whispered.
“She's bleeding.” Her breath picked up, and she tried to jerk away from Zayne, but he held tight to her arms. “Look at her.”
“I understand you're in shock,” the Phaedra said. “They don't have the privileges of shock, so why should you? It's your fault they're all dead. Look at them, girl. All of them dead. All because of you.”
Dead?
Kira blinked, and that screaming inside of her broke through to her conscious mind.
The Followers were dead.
That was what her mind had been crying out to her.
A shuddering sob ripped through her lungs, and she doubled over, heaving, though nothing came out. Zayne's hands held her up when her knees went limp, and she dangled above a sea of blood.
Something told her she needed to find control because this was only the beginning, but she wasn't sure she wasn't lying dead among the bodies.
Nothing was real.
Nothing made sense.
Closing her eyes, she focused on his palms and fingers against her, thinking only of his touch.
But when she looked up at him, searching for him, dead eyes watched her.
She didn't see a speck of the Zayne she knew in them.
He stood with her in the midst of the blood-soaked room and looked at her without as much as a tightened jaw.
Powerful waves of nausea slammed into her gut. She dipped again, breath quickening.
“This is the elder of this church.” The Phaedra nodded at a man kneeling before him. “He turned all these people into whores for the United.” Snapping, the Phaedra lowered his voice. “Turn and face the woman who killed your people.”
Kira didn't kill them. She'd never kill them. She tried to save him.
But seeing the eyes of a man who watched his people get slaughtered cut down anything inside of Kira other than guilt.
Did she kill the Followers?
“I didn't mean to.” She didn't recognize her own voice.
“You see, we came to free the innocent people held hostage by the terrorists. We were too late. They'd killed them all.” The Phaedra's eyes narrowed at her. “If you let your mom speak, and we didn't waste time salvaging her words, we would've arrived in time to save them.”
Was it true?
Kira never believed anything the Phaedra said, but for a terrifying moment, she wondered if she'd always been wrong. All this blood destroyed her ability to think and reason, even to remember. The Phaedra stole her mind and heart, squeezing it tighter with each passing second.
“Zayne?” She needed help. Something was wrong with her. She wasn't herself, and she didn't know how to find her way back. “Adelle…” She'd know what to do.
The hands holding her arms tightened slightly, saving her from falling over a ledge.
Looking up from the blood to the Phaedra, she forgot even the sound of her own voice, but she remembered Adelle's.
“When that peace breaks, remember we're with you.”
Kira might not be able to see her. Zayne might be hiding too well to find, but they were here with her. Their strength wrapped around her.
“I'm sorry,” Kira said, thinking of the only words to pacify this evil man.
He said she was in shock, and he was right. Of course, these people were not killed by terrorists. That was a ridiculous lie.
Hints of strength returned to her legs and her spirit.
Adelle said people survived by loving the men who threatened to hurt them.
Well, she wasn't sure if the Phaedra intended for her to survive this.
Or whether he'd hurt Zayne. So, if she needed to pretend to love him, then she would, as long as it didn't hurt anyone. “You're right. I killed them.”
Satisfaction warmed the Phaedra's smug smile. Wasn't he smart enough to realize she didn't mean it? Or did he just crave capitulation?
“Send a message to your mom,” he said. “Tell her to save the rest of the Followers by giving up the locations of the terrorists holding them captive. Beg her to save you.” He pointed at the far wall. “We've set up several cameras. She'll appreciate seeing you again.”
If Kira's mom offered any more locations, there'd be enough blood to fill a pool by the time the Phaedra finished his rampage.
“Don't hurt anyone else. This is enough.” Kira stared into the eyes of the Phaedra and begged him. “Take my life. That's fine. You can have it. Take my life in penance for all these people I killed. But don't hurt anyone else.”
His nostrils twitched. “I'm trying to save lives. Is this not enough for you to see what happens when you refuse to help? Maybe you need a live demonstration.” A nod. “Come, Zayne. We'll give her a choice. She can help us, or she can see what the terrorists will do to those poor people.”
“Don't.” Kira stepped forward when Zayne released her. “You don't need to do that.”
“This man is a terrorist.” The Phaedra pointed at the elder. “He's worse than a murderer.”
Zayne withdrew his gun, standing beside the elder. While he showed no hint of dissent, Kira sensed his struggle. Feared he may turn his gun on the Phaedra and repeat what he did with the girl from his childhood. There were too many soldiers. No possibility of escape.
She tried to reach him beneath that impenetrable mask to tell him not to do anything reckless, but she couldn't speak.
Even if her eyes managed to say all she needed to, he was gone. The eyes of the High General stared back at her, so convincingly uncaring that she struggled not to question every kind moment.
The elder's mouth twitched in silent words.
“Choose now,” the Phaedra said.
She feared what would open if she opened her mouth, but a wail built inside of her, muffled and distorted as she struggled to keep it in.
Terror shone in the elder's eyes because he was going to die, and he knew it. Even if he wanted her to protect the rest of the Followers, he couldn't silence the grief and fear bursting through his weakness, shining from his eyes.
“Now,” the Phaedra's voice boomed.
If she begged her mom to sell out the Followers, the woman would find a way. She'd already given up all these people. Sobs building in Kira's chest, she forced herself to keep looking at the elder, refusing to abandon him.
“I can't,” she said.
Zayne's gun was level with the elder's temple, his eyes vacant.
“Kill the terrorist,” the Phaedra said.
It didn't seem possible for the man who saved her the night they met to kill an innocent person, but Kira knew he would. She knew it, and still, when the blood burst from the elder's temple, when the deafening shot reverberated through the room, she couldn't believe it.
The second the life snapped from the elder's eyes, something deep at the center of Kira broke. She felt the exact moment it happened. Felt the only piece of her innocence she managed to hold onto in this awful empire break and shatter forever.
It could never be put back together.
The body hit the ground with a nauseating thud right in front of her, splattering a puddle of blood. A scream dredged up from that broken, shattered place that she couldn't control.
“Now repent.” The Phaedra's attention never wavered from her. “Prostrate yourself before me and repent for your sins.”
Terror stripped her mind and body away to nothing.
No breathing, no thinking, no being. Only horror and guilt too strong to survive.
The Phaedra's hard stare left her only to turn to Zayne. “Control your prisoner.”
Sobs quaked her body, and she dipped with them, weeping for the immeasurable loss of so much death. A tiny strand of relief tickled her heart seeing Zayne walk close to her, but it only deepened the grief, because another part of her knew this was the one time she didn't want him near her.
“Bow,” the Phaedra said.
A strong hand clutched the back of her neck, pressuring her toward the ground until she collapsed onto her hands into the sticky blood.
Her fingers disappeared beneath the murky surface.
Having Zayne force her down felt the same as someone stomping on her freshly shattered heart. It was too devastating to feel.
“Lower.” Dark eyes stared at her.
Kira shook her head when Zayne started pushing again. The nudge gave way to a strength that overpowered her, and she collapsed onto her forearms, barely catching herself. Her face hovered above the congealing blood.
A whimper broke from her clenched teeth. She shook her head.
Please, no. No more. Especially not by his hand.