72. CHAPTER 72 #2
Her words tumbled around in his mind as he struggled to make sense of them. Everything was fading. Zayne tried to calm his heart, but he couldn't have just freed Kira only for Nadia to end up in the Phaedra's clutches.
“Zayne,” Nadia said with a sharp voice. “You can do this.”
He groaned and managed to look at her again, not fooled by how strong she sounded when tears coated her swollen eyes.
“Let… her…” Fuck, he couldn't muster the breath.
“Go,” the Phaedra finished for him with a smirk. “I don't think I will. I like Nadia. I've missed my time with her. But you really shouldn't worry her like this. She obviously loves you very much, and you're not looking very good.”
He rose, hovering over Zayne again.
Nadia was right. Zayne needed to control himself. It felt wrong to take any joy when the woman he once loved sacrificed herself for him, but he refused to let his past mistakes continue holding him back from being who he needed to become. So he thought of Kira out in the territories, finally safe.
“You need another surgery. You were too weak to continue.” The Phaedra’s eye twitched when he glanced at the heart rate monitor, likely upset that Zayne started calming. “We really should pray. I don’t know what I would do if something terrible happened to you.”
He clasped Zayne’s head.
“Be healed, child.”
His hands pressed against his chest over his scar.
“Be healed!”
The Phaedra settled against Zayne’s bandaged wound.
His world erupted.
He jerked his head back, his heart pounding hot in his face, agony ripping apart every nerve, making him choke.
He heard his heart rate climbing.
“BE HEALED!”
Nadia yelled, and the Phaedra growled, and pain muffled their voices until he heard nothing but his own heart crashing in his ears.
Zayne didn't fight the shadows dragging him into darkness. He gave in to them, but soon a terrible odor stung his sinuses. Roused him.
Smelling salts.
No escape.
“It's not time for that,” the Phaedra said. “I told you to stay awake. You have a guest arriving at any moment. Don't be rude and pass out again.”
Who? His father? He knew he'd need to face the man one day, but it was too soon. He wasn't ready.
The Phaedra kissed Zayne’s forehead. “Your wife and children will need you to be healthy.”
That was not happening. Zayne left Mellie, and he'd never have children with her.
He wasn't giving babies to the Phaedra to abuse and manipulate.
To kill or turn into killers. If the Phaedra thought he could force Zayne back into his old life, then he continued to underestimate what he was willing to do.
The cuffs on his wrist shifted when the Phaedra unlocked them. He fought with all his might to wring the man's throat, but his fingers only twitched.
“You'll mind your manners,” the Phaedra said, “Or we'll let Dr. Cooper have all the time with Nadia he wants. He's awfully sour about his collarbone.”
Despite expecting the threat to hold Zayne in place, the Phaedra backed away. The lack of restraints made no difference. He was too weak.
“You have such a complicated relationship with these women.” He chuckled. “It's going to be very entertaining.”
Zayne caught Nadia's eye. Though he couldn't speak, he tried to offer her comfort.
She smiled and then winced when the Phaedra clutched her arm too tight.
“I don't think you'll be welcome here in a few minutes,” he said. “Come back later. And Zayne, be good for her sake.”
The Phaedra pushed her out of the room. Dread built with each passing moment, pain threatening to drag him under again.
But there was no bracing for the moment that Mellie raced into the room.
“Zayne,” she cried. “Oh, babe. Oh, no.”
“He needs another surgery once he's stable,” the Phaedra said, smiling from behind her.
“Please ignore the texts I sent you. I didn't know what happened. I'm a monster. I was so upset that you didn't show up at the mountains. I…” Her eyes fell to his bandage. “I'm the worst wife in the world.”
Whatever Mellie thought happened, she didn't read the letter informing her that he was leaving her, and the Phaedra didn't tell her about his betrayal.
Carefully, she crawled into bed beside him, the movement clawing at his wound. His vision flickered black, the pain overwhelming him again, shutting him down.
“Am I hurting you?” Mellie cradled his head against her neck and chest. “I didn't mean to. I'll take care of you. It'll be okay.”
“This is what happens when you spare vermin.” The Phaedra glowered at Zayne. “The boy he saved at the shopping center returned to his terrorist cell, and their attack nearly killed both the Riven brothers.”
Mellie sobbed quietly. “Look at all we almost lost. I won't leave you for a second.” Her fingers in his hair sickened him when he wanted it to be Kira's again. “Phaedra, can't the doctors do anything else? He's in such pain.”
“I'm sure we can give him more medicine.”
His reward for keeping his mouth shut, considering Zayne didn't think the Phaedra gave him any pain medicine. Or if he did, only enough to keep him alive.
The wife he tried to abandon whispered in his ear and stroked his face. Kissed his lips.
The Phaedra knew exactly how to torment Zayne, but no matter how terrible this was, he kept thinking of one thing only.
Kira was free.
Images flashed in his mind.
This time, he didn’t see the girl with no teeth or the shifting in the shadows.
Instead, he saw the rebel woman in the territories and the life that awaited her.
A hint of stillness sparked within him, and he reached for the silence.
The steadiness in his core. A point where death and terror and peace all lived, depending on the season.
Kira was free.
After all that he’d done, let it be the closest he could come to atonement.
Let Kira’s life stretch on long for the others.
Whatever came next, Zayne found peace for the first time in his life, in the freedom of the only person he trusted to fight this revolution the right way. And as the dead fought to wrestle him into the shadows, as he begged for Nadia to stay safe, that peace whispered a truth to him.
Kira Stiles mattered more to him than anyone in the empire, and she'd never stop drawing life out of the desolation.
Revolution was won in the spirit.
And Zayne was finally free.
Now he needed to survive to learn what freedom meant.