Chapter 16
Was Emma avoiding Sebastian after their night in the hot tub? Yes. One thousand percent yes. She’d stayed in her room for four days, avoiding all the guys, unless she was on a video chat with Hawk’s sister, Mae, about the bakery. Gage had set up the video calls in the main living room, probably as a way to force her from her bed each day.
Mae had flown in the day after Emma left Bell Ridge, and had jumped at the opportunity to re-open the bakery for her. Honestly, the woman was a spitfire, and she could already tell they were becoming fast friends. Mae had the same southern drawl as her older brother, and it was so funny to hear the two of them bicker over practically everything.
She didn’t honestly even know why she was avoiding the guys. What had happened with Seb was hot. So freaking hot she kept dreaming about it every night since it’d happened. But there was some part of her that knew she was getting in too deep. He deserved a whole woman, someone beautiful on the inside and out. Not someone with scars. Not someone who could never give him a family. Maybe the distance was the only way of saving him from her damaged body.
A knock came from her door and she groaned, pulling the blankets up over her head. It wasn’t time for a check-in with the bakery, so why was someone bothering her now?
“Emma? Are you awake?” Gage’s voice rolled into the room as he opened the door.
“What the hell, Gage?” She threw the covers off and sat up. “Just walking right in my room now, are you?”
“Yeah, sleepyhead, I guess I am.”
“What if I was standing there naked?”
“I guess I’d get an eyeful, and Cap would probably beat the shit out of me, but I don’t care. I’m worried about you. We all are.”
“I’m fine. Just catching up on some sleep.”
“That’s not like the Emma I know.”
“You’ve only known me a few weeks, Gage. How much can you really know about me?”
“You’re not eating. You’re not coming out to raise hell and sass all of us endlessly. You don’t even ever leave this room unless it’s to come talk to Mae and Melissa about the bakery. I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong and what I can do to fix it.”
“I eat.” Gage rolled his eyes at her answer as he sat down on the bed.
“When? Because Nash and I spend all day waiting to see you come out of this room while Cap paces around, pulling his hair out, worried about you. You know I have two little sisters, Em. Either spill what’s bothering you or I will resort to older brother tactics of torture until you do.”
Emma threw her hands up in the air and sighed.
“What isn’t wrong, Gage? My whole life is a dumpster fire right now and I don’t want anyone else getting hurt because of it.”
“So, you’ll just push everyone away? Is that the idea?”
“Yep,” she popped the word out forcefully. “That’s exactly what I plan to do. Everyone I love is safer that way.”
“That’s why you’re pushing Sebastian away? Because you love him?”
She felt the heat rising in her face.
“That’s not what I’m saying at all.”
“I think it is, Em.”
“Well, you can think whatever you want as long as you do it some place other than my room.”
“No.”
“I’m sorry?”
“My mission today is to get you out of this room, and I will succeed.”
“Fat chance,” she grumbled, although it was hard not to laugh at the determined look Gage was giving her.
“Would it help if I told you Cap ordered a shit ton of baking supplies and they are just all sitting out in the kitchen right now, waiting for you to whip something up?”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “Jeepers, you’re coming in hot with the bribery.”
“Why try to lure you out with anything other than what you were probably missing most from home? And we’re not opposed to eating anything you make.”
“I bet you’re not,” she laughed. “Fine. I’ll come out and bake. But I expect you to stay in the kitchen with me and keep things nice and quiet. No Sebastian interrupting me, okay?”
“I think I can handle that.” He stood, gently wrapping his hand around her arm, and guided her out of her room, down the stairs and into the giant kitchen.
Emma’s heart flipped when she saw all the ingredients in front of her. She didn’t have access in Bell Ridge to the French butter or grass fed organic heavy cream her eyes immediately pulled towards. And lord, there was even French baking flour sitting next to the most beautiful assortment of fresh berries and containers of chocolate.
“I think I might cry,” she whimpered, picking up the butter and holding it over her heart.
“Not allowed,” Gage smiled at her. “Now, what are you thinking of making?”
“A fruit tart to start. And maybe some chocolate mousse?”
“I’m fully behind that idea.”
His smile was almost too much for her to handle. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave Gage a big hug.
“Thanks, Gage. This is just what I needed.”
“I’ll take a hug anytime, Em, but you know this was Cap’s idea.”
“I know,” she said as she walked over to the sink and began washing her hands. “And I’ll make sure I give him my thanks later.” Emma winked at Gage, who promptly burst out laughing.
* * *
“How can we not have a fucking thing on this bastard yet, Reap?”
Sebastian sat next to Nash in the Operations Center, on a video call with the guys back in Bell Ridge. To say he wasn’t happy with their lack of an update was an understatement. They’d been gone nearly a week, and the prick had vanished. He’d wanted to have Marco apprehended and behind bars before Emma got antsy and demanded to make her way back to Bell Ridge.
With the way things were going, there was a fat chance of that now.
“I’m sorry, Cap. We are looking into every lead that we find, but he’s just disappeared from town.”
“It’s not enough. We’re missing something.”
“Yeah,” Hawk rubbed the back of his neck. “It sure does feel that way, doesn’t it?”
“How’s Emma holding up?” Stone asked.
“She’s barely coming out of her room. We saw her all of fifteen minutes the past few days when she came out to talk with Mae about the bakery. But that’s it.”
“She could still be hiding something,” Gunner said.
“I honestly don’t think that she is. Nothing that would impact us finding Marco, anyway,” Nash said while Sebastian nodded in agreement.
“It must be nice to trust so blindly.”
“Reap, what the fuck is your problem with her?” Seb growled, thankful that he wasn’t in the same room as his buddy right now, or he would absolutely make things physical.
“She lied to you, Cap. To us! I’m not sorry that once someone has broken my trust, I look at them a little differently.”
“You haven’t been around her like I have. Whatever there is that she may keep close to her heart, it’s not for us to know. If there was something that she knew about Marco that would help us catch him, she’d say it. Emma wants him caught just as much as the rest of us.”
“I’m glad you feel that way, Cap, but I’ll continue to question her motives until we catch this scumbag.” Gunner stood up from the table and stormed out of the camera’s view. They heard a door slam shut in the background.
“Sorry, Cap. It’s not an excuse for his shitty attitude, but he’s got a lot on his mind. We know Emma isn’t the enemy here,” Hawk said.
“Right. Call us back the minute you have any updates.”
Hawk and Stone both nodded before the camera feed cut off.
“Someone needs to talk to Gunner. His attitude has never been great, but it’s getting worse, and it’s affecting the entire team.” Nash looked at Sebastian. “I think it needs to be you. You’re our team leader.”
“Not anymore.”
“Fine, you’re our boss. Is that better?” Nash rolled his eyes.
Seb laughed. “No, definitely not.”
“Think about it, okay? Something is going on with him outside of work, and he’s too stubborn to ask for help. He needs to know we’ve still got his back.”
“Yeah. I will.” He leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms high above his head. “I’m ready to get out of here for a while. You coming?”
“I’ll be up in a sec. There’s a new batch of files that got sent in from Agent Wilson that I want to check out first.”
“Let me know if there’s anything good in them.”
“I will,” Nash nodded. “Now, go see if you can spend some time with your girl.”
“I don’t think she’d like being called that.”
“She’s in a pretty stressful situation, Cap. I’m sure she’ll come around soon enough. Never did meet a single woman who wouldn’t fall at your feet immediately.”
“Emma isn’t like that, and you know it.”
“Yeah, I do. That’s why I know you finally found someone you shouldn’t let go of. Now go, before they stop clomping around the kitchen like two elephants and you lose your chance to see her in her element.”
Sebastian left the basement and was stunned. Music was playing in the large open living room, and as he looked into the kitchen, Emma was laughing at something Gage had said to her.
He had hardly seen her the past few days, but the dark circles under her eyes were lighter, and the sadness that had settled over her was gone. She was in her element, baking something that smelled amazing.
“What’s going on in here?” Sebastian asked as he walked into the kitchen.
“Just using up some of the ingredients you ordered,” Emma smiled as she walked towards him. “I’m sorry I’ve been hiding. It was all too overwhelming for a bit.”
He wasn’t expecting the warm embrace she locked him into, but her body pressing into his slammed overwhelming emotion into his heart and shook him to his soul.
“I’m glad the supplies helped. Whatever is in the oven smells fantastic.”
“It’s the crust for the fruit tart Emma is making,” Gage said.
“Since I’m supplying the dessert, I was hoping you guys might be up for making dinner? I’ll need to check in with Mae while the crust cools, but there are some amazing looking steaks in the fridge and I’m thinking we should put that expensive grill out on the deck to use.”
“I think we can manage that.” Sebastian loved that she wasn’t planning on disappearing into her room anytime soon. He wanted to think this was a turning point, that she’d just needed a few days to process everything that had happened. Maybe it wasn’t at all about what they had shared in the hot tub.
“A real family dinner sounds just like what the doctor ordered,” Gage smiled. “I’ll go let Nash know the plan.”
Watching Gage disappear down to the basement, Sebastian moved towards Emma, who was busy cutting the fruit up for her tart. “I love seeing you in your element.”
His arms landed on both sides of her, trapping her close to his body. He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, loving the electric shiver that ran through her.
“I owe you a big thanks for snapping me out of my funk. I’m sorry I haven’t been the best house guest since the night we arrived.”
“Emma,” he lifted one hand to her chin and gently directed her to turn and face him. Maybe not the brightest idea, now that her body was fully pressed up against his. He watched as her pupils grew large, a beautiful flush rising from her chest to her cheeks. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just glad we get to hear that beautiful laughter of yours again.”
Her eyes searched his, before she blew out a breath.
“I need to finish prepping these strawberries, Seb.”
“I think they’ll hold for a little bit.” He stepped even closer, allowing her to feel his attraction to her.
“They won’t. And besides, we shouldn’t. What we had was fun. But we can’t be distracted right now.” She gasped as the knife hit the chopping block. Sebastian felt her body fall against his. “Oh shit.”
“Sprinkles?”
She turned back and laid her head on his chest, her one hand still tightly grabbing the other. “I just sliced my finger on your stupidly amazing professional knives.”
“Okay, don’t look. I’ve got you.” He quickly lifted her up onto the counter, and grabbed a towel from next to the sink. “I’ve got a first aid kit around here somewhere. Can I see your finger?”
“Mmm,” she was slightly swaying, and for a quick second Sebastian worried she might pass out, but she drew in a shuttered breath and steadied herself. “Okay, Em, it’s just a little cut. Keep pressure on it while I grab a bandage.”
“The cut on my other hand just stopped throbbing,” she laughed without emotion. “I hate that I’m like this.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people have a hard time with blood. Has it been like this your whole life?”
“No. It started after…after he had me.”
He gently took her hand in his, removing the towel before he applied the bandage. “I’m so sorry, Em.” Sebastian gently kissed the now-covered cut before placing her hand back in her lap.
“Thanks.” He watched her swallow thickly as he brushed the tear from her cheek. Not only did he want to kiss her in that moment, he needed to. More than he needed his next breath of air. Lowering his head towards hers, he pressed a kiss against her lips. It was soft, inviting her to control the tempo. There was just a moment of surprise for him when she pulled him closer, deepening their kiss as she wrapped her arms around him.
The timer for the oven went off, forcing them both back to reality.
“I need to get that.” She pushed against his chest, hopping down off the counter when he took a step back.
“Sprinkles…”
“Sebastian, we cannot do that again. It’s just too much for me right now.”
He watched the light dim in her eyes and the hope that filled his chest slowly bled out.
* * *
Their dinner that night had been exactly what they all needed. It was the first time since arriving that Emma sat down with the guys for an extended amount of time, and the conversation had stayed relatively light, which was exactly what he’d hoped for. While Emma joined in on the teasing and shared some stories from her time in Bell Ridge with them, Sebastian could tell that she was putting on a smile. Her eyes never regained their sparkle and her laughter was not quite as free as it had been.
She’d gone to bed a little while after they’d devoured her tart, saying she was tired, but that she wouldn’t hide in her room any more. When Sebastian finally said goodnight to Nash and Gage after scouring through the case files Agent Wilson had sent, he was shocked to see Emma’s bedroom door open.
He didn’t know what he should do. Did she leave the door open hoping he would follow her? Was she unaware that it was open and would be mad to find him inside her room?
Sebastian knocked on the door, but there wasn’t a response. When he looked around, he realized she wasn’t there.
Where could she have gone? And how did they not notice her walking around the house when they were sitting right in front of the camera monitors downstairs? He already knew she wasn’t in the living room or kitchen, since he’d walked by both those spaces when he’d made his way upstairs. Sebastian decided to try his office.
The room was dark, no lights on in the space. Next to the floor to ceiling windows, Emma stood transfixed in the view out over the pond. She looked ethereal, bathed in the light streaming in from the full moon. There was a blanket draped around her shoulders and Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder what she was wearing underneath it.
“Goodnight, Luna,” he heard her whisper as he walked to the windows. Before thinking, Sebastian reached out and place his hand on her back.
“Oh, Jesus!” she yelled. “Seb! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Sorry,” he honestly hadn’t been trying to scare her.
“What is with you military guys? Gage almost scared me to death the first night we got here doing the same thing!”
“I thought you would have heard me come in. I wasn’t being overly quiet.”
“I was…lost in thought, I guess.”
Sebastian tucked some of the hair framing her face behind her ear.
“Want to talk about it?”
“It’s nothing we haven’t talked about a million times already. Just feeling stupid for thinking I could live a happy, quiet life without having to pay for what I ran away from. Feeling guilty for the women he hurt, the women he killed, before coming after me.”
Sebastian wrapped his arms around Emma, the frayed edge of the blanket wrapped around her tickling his skin.
“None of that is your fault, Sprinkles.” He kissed the crown of her head, hair sticking to the grown out stubble on his chin. “You deserve to live that life. I’m going to make sure you get to.”
“Well, I’m certainly going to leave a glowing review for your security company either way. The guys have been so protective and sweet. Except Gunner. I can’t seem to crack him.”
Sebastian couldn’t hold back his laughter.
“Oh, and you’ve cracked the others, have you?”
“Please, they crumbled the first day. We’re now all besties. You should have seen Gage in my room earlier. I thought he was going to beg me to braid his hair and paint his nails just to get me to talk to him.”
Sebastian laughed. “Maybe we should have recruited you for our team when we were deployed on missions. I have a feeling you’d have had our assets talking in no time.”
“What can I say? I was born with a gift.”
“Not just one, Em.” He lifted her chin with his finger, bringing their lips close together while waiting, wanting Emma to be in complete control of wherever they were heading. When she moved to her tiptoes and slightly extended her chin, he dove in, pressing a kiss to her lips.
Sebastian moved his hands to her shoulders, gently easing the blanket down around her until it hit the floor.
Jesus.
She was wearing the most delicious dark blue pajama set. Her sexy top had the first three buttons undone, allowing the white lace of her bra to peek out. He couldn’t resist running his finger across her delicate collarbone, down her chest until he burrowed inside the bra to find her peaked nipple right there, ripe for the taking. Pushing the cup of her bra down, Sebastian trailed kisses from her mouth, down her jaw, across her neck and over her breast until his lips met her nipple. He quickly sucked it into his mouth, reveling in the breathy moan that erupted from Emma as he raked his teeth across the sensitive flesh.
“Sebastian…”
“I’m just getting started, Sprinkles. Don’t tell me you want to stop already?”
“I don’t think we should, I’m not what you deserve.”
“I know,” he felt her sharp inhale. “You’re more. You’re more than I could have ever hoped for. More than I could have ever dreamed of. And you’re more than I deserve.” He moved his hand up her thigh, teasing at the waist band on her pajamas. “Should I stop?”
Her body arched into his. “Don’t stop, Seb. Please, I’m tired of fighting whatever this is,” she begged, her pupils blown wide with desire. “More.”
Sebastian lifted her up and smiled as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She pressed a kiss to his lips, and for a moment he was lost without a thought in the world. When she trailed kisses across his chin, he started drifting towards the door, trying his best not to run out of the office. Her laugh wrapped warm tendrils around his heart and he stopped walking to look down at her in his arms.
“What’s so funny, beautiful?”
“You’re awfully eager to get me back to your bed.”
“I’d be a fool not to be.”
“And no one could accuse you of that, Suits.” She bopped him on the end of his nose.
“What can I say? I know what I want and I go after it.” With her legs wrapped tightly around him, his hands were free to tickle her sides. She laughed and wiggled around, trying to escape his fingers, but all that motion did was add fuel to his fire. He couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to get back to his room and lay her out on his bed. The tart had been a nice end to dinner, but Sebastian had his sights set on an even sweeter dessert, and he wasn’t about to miss the chance to devour Emma.
The climb up the stairs was effortless, her teeth teasing him as she raked them across his shoulder. Emma’s fingers scratched at his back and her hips pressed her body into his. God, he just wanted to sink into this woman, to show her how completely and madly he was already falling over the edge, sinking deeper into love with her with every passing moment.
After what seemed like a lifetime, he made his way back to his bedroom, gently laying Emma down on the edge of his bed. He kissed her, this time with all the pent up energy crashing through him. Her tongue tangled with his, and fuck, she tasted like the most delicious strawberries and vanilla frosting.
Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling gently on the roots as his mouth traveled over her skin. He kissed across her collarbone, gently undoing the remaining buttons on her top so that he could kiss down in between her breasts and along her rib cage. He thought he might explode with every gasp and pulsation her body gave him along the way.
Not wanting to waste another minute, Sebastian lowered the band on the sleep shorts she was wearing. His mouth sucked on the skin just below her belly button, and he delighted in the way her skin continued to pebble from the sensation. He slipped his hand into the waistband, anticipation bubbling up for what was about to happen. His brain froze when he felt a raised line on her skin. A scar. He wanted to keep going, but everything derailed in his mind, and his finger just wouldn’t stop tracing the raised line. He felt her go rigid beneath him, his eyes snapping to hers, a million questions on the tip of his tongue.
“What’s that scar from?” The sultry haze from her eyes vanished, and Sebastian’s stomach twisted as he watched an invisible wall go up between them.