Chapter 19
Another week passed without Lily seeing Nick other than at rehearsals. He seemed distracted but still attentive to her when she spoke to him, but she noticed Jessica and he didn’t speak at all; in fact, they seemed to be avoiding each other.
But she wasn’t about to ask and Jessica was leaving her alone, which was a relief, but she wondered what had happened.
After rehearsals on Saturday afternoon, Nick came to her side.
‘You around tomorrow?’
‘I think so, why?’ she asked with a smile. ‘Need more help with your lines?’
‘I’m nearly off book, I think.’ He laughed. ‘Do you want to go on a picnic with me?’
She was surprised by his offer. ‘A picnic?’
‘Yes, I know it sounds twee, but I have a lovely spot I wanted to show you. It’s fine if you can’t – no stress,’ he said and she noticed a red flush up his neck.
‘That sounds lovely,’ she said firmly. ‘I can’t wait.’
Nick’s face burst into a wide smile and he nodded. ‘Excellent, wonderful, I’ll pick you up before midday?’
‘Picking up? Where are you two off to?’ Jessica’s voice interrupted them.
Nick turned to her. ‘I’m taking Lily and her grandmother to an appointment,’ he said.
‘On a Sunday?’ Jessica narrowed her eyes.
Lily watched his face change as Jessica spoke.
‘I’m going. Have a nice night, everyone,’ she said and she walked out of the hall, wondering why he had lied to Jessica about their picnic and if this was going to be a problem.
*
Lily wore her sundress with the little daisies on it, which Jess had said looked like wallpaper, and, at the last minute, she pulled a denim jacket on and tied her hair up in a bun as she looked in the mirror in her bedroom.
She felt a mix of excitement and nervousness.
She had agreed to the picnic, but what did that mean?
And why didn’t he tell Jessica? She understood that Jessica was hard work but this felt far too duplicitous for her. Maybe he just wanted to protect her?
The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. ‘Lily?’ Gran called. ‘There is a nice young man at the door. Should I send him away?
Lily couldn’t help but laugh. ‘No, Gran. Tell him I’ll be right down.’
When she descended the stairs, she noticed Nick and Gran talking happily in the living room. Gran in her chair and Nick on the sofa.
As Lily walked in, he looked up and smiled warmly, making her heart skip a beat.
‘Ready?’ he questioned.
Lily nodded and quickly kissed Gran on the cheek. ‘Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone,’ she warned.
Gran waved them off with a knowing smile. ‘You two are having fun. And, Nick, make sure you get her back at a reasonable hour or she will turn into a pumpkin. It’s a genetic thing,’ she joked.
Lily kissed her grandmother goodbye. ‘You’re incorrigible,’ she said.
‘Good,’ said Gran. ‘I plan on remaining that way. Now off you go.’
Soon they were driving through the countryside, in Nick’s work car.
‘Why did you lie to Jessica about today?’ she asked.
‘Wow, okay, straight into it,’ he said as he drove.
‘It made me feel uncomfortable,’ she said.
‘I know, me also,’ he replied. ‘But the less Jessica knows about me and you the better. She’s got a way of twisting things and I didn’t want her to ruin this, because I like you, a lot,’ he said and he glanced at Lily.
She felt herself blush again, and she nodded. ‘I think I understand.’
‘It’s just this is new, and I like you and I don’t want it being ruined before it’s started.’
She wanted to ask if he meant friendship or more but said nothing. There was enough tension in the air.
‘So, where do you live?’ she asked him instead. ‘I don’t really know anything about you. Give me the Nick life’s story.’
He laughed. ‘Okay, I’m thirty-three, parents still married. Dad works in government and Mum is a nursery school teacher. I have two sisters, both older. One is a nurse – she influenced me to be a nurse, she loved it so much. The other sister runs the foodbank in Silverton.’
‘Gosh, your whole family is so community-minded,’ Lily said.
‘Maybe, I mean we’re a normal family, it’s just I suppose we like helping people. It’s how I grew up; it doesn’t mean everyone has to do that,’ he said. ‘We can’t all do one thing; everyone brings their special something to the world.’
Lily thought for a moment. ‘You’re right, that’s true. Sometimes I used to wonder that my pursuit of being on the West End was shallow, ego-driven.’
‘I get it,’ said Nick. ‘But probably it’s because you love to sing and act and dance and wanted to share it with audiences. Because my family and others are the ones in the audience; it gives us the relief from the hard day or difficult jobs. Everyone matters.’
‘I like that,’ she said. ‘So do you live at home?’
‘No.’ He laughed. ‘I bought a little flat in Silverton, close to Mum and Dad but not too close.’ He gave Lily a look and she nodded.
‘Yes, my mother would have me live next door if she could, but still ensure I was close to the theatre.’
‘It’s a nice flat; I bought it last year. I mean it’s nothing flash – nurses’ wages, you know,’ he said.
‘Do you like living in Silverton?’
‘I’ve lived there all my life. I don’t know any different,’ he said.
‘I mean it’s okay, not much community, you know but it’s nice enough.
I don’t think I would stay there forever.
I’d like to live somewhere like Appleton Green, doing district nursing like I do already; but the cottages are few and far between,’ he said. ‘Tell me about your place in London.’
‘It’s a nice flat, not big – it’s just Nigel and me. We don’t own it or anything; we rent it.’
Nick nodded and they drove for a bit.
She looked out the window, mentally comparing the scene to her life in London. The rolling hills draped in emerald, sheep like little white dots in the distance, and then there was London, all severe angles and steel and so many people on the streets.
There were no tall buildings around her here; rather, there were ancient dry-stone walls that crisscrossed the landscape and told stories from ages before.
And the sounds. London seemed to have a continual soundtrack, day and night; but here, well it was silent, apart from the bleating of sheep, the rustling of leaves, and the soft babble of some secret streams.
Lily thought about her return, and if she and Nick turned into something more. No, there was no point thinking about that when she was going back to London and he didn’t like it. Friends they would have to be, she decided.
As they drove through countryside, Lily felt a sense of belonging that she hadn’t experienced in years as they travelled through lovely villages.
She turned to gaze at Nick, whose profile was highlighted by the warm sunlight.
She pondered the possibility that she had been pursuing the wrong goal the entire time.
Lily had always considered London to be a symbol of success; however, while she was in this location, with this man, she’d started to wonder if she had been wrong all along.
As soon as they turned off the main road, Nick led the vehicle down a short lane that appeared to disappear into the countryside.
‘So, where are we going?’ she asked, hoping to relieve the gnawing feeling inside her of doubt and worry.
‘We were almost there.’ he said. The car bumped gently off the narrow country road and into a small roadside parking area near the entrance to Lathkill Dale. A simple wooden gate led to the footpath.
'Right, short work but it's worth it.' Nick said as he stopped the car. They got out of the car and Nick went around to the boot and opened it, pulling out a picnic basket.
‘Wow, I can’t believe you have an actual picnic basket.’ She laughed as they walked. ‘Or did you buy it for this occasion?’
‘That’s for me to know,’ he said, 'It's actually my mum's.'
They settled on a little grassy area that was tucked away between limestone cliffs and was hidden from view by ash and hazel trees.
‘Oh this is lovely. I haven’t been here in years,’ Lily cried, looking around. ‘And there’s no one here.’
‘It’s a Thursday, not a popular day for picnics,’ Nick laughed as he opened the large basket, took out a rug and shook it out for them to sit on.
Their quiet hideaway was accompanied by the calming sound of the River Lathkill’s gentle gurgle.
Lily felt her anxiety subside as she sat on the rug and looked around.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever been on a picnic where the man did everything,’ she said.
She could see some wildflowers scattered across the grass and remembered their names from Gran’s lessons.
Bluebells, cowslips and harebells that were nodding in the gentle breeze, as though offering their approvals to Nick and Lily’s plans.
‘It’s very beautiful.’ Lily exhaled as she lay down, her hands over her eyes. The sun was warm on her body and she sat up and took off her denim jacket and folded it and put it under her head for a pillow.
Nick stretched out beside her on the blanket and she became acutely aware of him.
She put her hand down next to her and put her little finger out and felt his hand and he took hers in his. The electricity between them, even holding hands, was powerful and she leaned up on her side to face him.
‘You know we’re supposed to be friends,’ she said.
‘Friends hold hands,’ he said rolling over to face her, lying in the same position.
‘Oh? And what else do friends do?’ she teased, feeling the butterflies back. This was a bad idea, she told herself, but she couldn’t seem to stop; she was so drawn to him.
He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
‘They do that,’ he said in a low voice.
She nodded slowly, as though considering what he had just done.
‘And what else?’ she asked, biting her lip briefly, as her eyes searched his face.
‘They do this,’ he said, his voice low, and he leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth.
She wasn’t sure if it was the outdoors, or the sound of his voice, or the isolation, but she had never felt as much desire as she felt on that blanket with the sound of the water and the birds surrounding them.
‘We shouldn’t be doing this, but don’t stop,’ Lily said as they kissed on the blanket. He had pulled her on top of him and she felt his desire as she ran her hand under his T-shirt, her finger tracing over his stomach.
‘Jesus,’ he moaned and he flipped her onto her back, pulling the straps of her sundress down and kissing her skin.
‘God, you’re so sexy,’ he said to her and she laughed.
‘What?’ He stopped for a moment. ‘You don’t think you are? Because I can tell you, you are – so gorgeous,’ he said and his hands moved down her back.
‘You said just friends. I insisted on just friends and we can’t keep our hands off each other. We’re useless,’ she said and laughed and he joined in.
‘You can’t fight chemistry,’ he said and she sighed.
‘I just know I’ll get feelings towards you besides lust and then I’ll be sad and it will be weird and difficult when I leave. I’m a very sentimental person,’ she said.
‘What if I already had feelings besides desire?’ he said, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes.
Lily hadn’t expected that and she sat up and looked at him. ‘Well that’s different,’ she said.
‘How?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know but it just is.’ They were silent for a while.
‘Is there anything in that basket or is it just for show?’ she asked finally. ‘Because I am starving.’
Nick grinned and sat up and opened it. ‘Roast chicken, some cheeses and dips, a baguette, Greek salad and, for dessert, some brownies and strawberries.’
‘Oh wow,’ she said peering into the basket.
‘And wine,’ he said brandishing a bottle, and he opened it and poured them each a plastic glass of wine.
‘On my days off, I enjoy exploring. It helps to clear my mind.’ He paused and softly stated, ‘I love it here, but I only ever come by myself.’
Lily felt a warm sensation flow through her, unrelated to the wine. ‘What did you mean about your feelings, Nick?’ she asked as she picked up some chicken and ate it. ‘We don’t have to discuss anything if you’re not ready,’ she said quickly.
Nick shook his head. ‘No, I want to. You know I was with Jess, well it wasn’t serious.
She thought it was but I never was. She and I are very different.
So when we broke up I told myself I would only pursue anyone who had the same values and interests as me.
It’s not like I usually meet people at work.
I honestly thought I wouldn’t meet anyone.
I mean I work with old people most days,’ he said with a laugh.
Lily smiled.
‘And then I met you. I mean the first time I saw you at your gran’s you were just so vibrant.’
‘I was in a nightgown, a rugby top and odd socks,’ she reminded him.
‘I don’t remember that. I just remember your energy and smile and your gorgeous hair.’
Never before had any man spoken to her this way and she put down the food and wiped her hands on a napkin.
‘And the dinner at your gran’s. God you are just so incredibly kind and patient. It’s beautiful and it took my breath away. Kindness is an underrated quality; it’s really beautiful,’ he said.
Lily groaned.
‘Too much?’ he asked. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s not too much.’ She paused. ‘I’ve just never felt so deeply about somebody so quickly before, and it scares me,’ she said.
Nick reached out and clasped her hand in his. ‘Why does it scare you?’
Lily took a deep breath. ‘I came here for the summer to help Gran while also figuring out my life. I did not expect this. You. And now I don’t know what to do. I thought I would spend my entire life in London.’
Nick nodded, drawing circles on her palm. ‘Can I tell you something?’ When Lily nodded, he said, ‘I’ve never felt this way either. I’ve had relationships obviously, but meeting you, it feels different. It’s as if I’ve been waiting for you without knowing it.’
Lily felt tears build in her eyes. ‘But what happens when the summer ends? What about my career in London?’
Nick was silent for a minute, considering. ‘I don’t know all the answers, Lily. But I understand that what we have is unique. Perhaps instead of worrying about the future, we could just be present, right now. Maybe we just focus on getting to know one another and seeing where this leads.’
Lily looked at him closely. His gentle glance, the way the sun shone on the golden strands of his hair, the way his finger traced her palm. She thought of how much he cared for Gran, how he made her laugh, and how at ease she felt with him. It was almost too perfect.
‘Okay,’ she said gently.