Chapter 29
Nick and Denise were sitting opposite each other in the hospital café, surrounded by the indoor plants and serenaded by the noise of trays crashing and messages over the PA system, as Lily and Peter approached them.
Nick was speaking with intensity, half leaning over the table, and Denise looked to be almost snarling with her fingers securely wrapped around a takeaway cup of coffee, while Nick had an unopened bottle of water in front of him.
As they were getting closer, Lily managed to catch the last few words of Nick’s sentence.
While he was speaking, his tone was soft but authoritative. ‘…consider what Lily wants,’ he said.
Oh no, this isn’t good, she thought as she rushed up to the table.
‘Hello, Gran’s up to the heart ward, to have some tests,’ she said trying to add some cheer to her voice.
‘Oh good, you’re here.’ The tone of her mother’s voice was abrupt. ‘Perhaps you can explain to Nick why your grandmother can’t possibly go back to that cottage and why you are teaching in a school and doing a silly amateur drama show.’
Lily saw Nick react to her mother’s words but thankfully he said nothing.
Peter grabbed the chair next to his wife, and Lily slid into the seat next to Nick. ‘Mum, I don’t think we should have this conversation here. None of that is as important as Gran right now.’
‘Then where will we have it?’ Denise asked. ‘I’ve been trying to call you for the past ten days. If Gran hadn’t told me you were busy, I would have filed a missing person’s report.’
Nick shifted his attention to Lily, his face displaying a mixture of compassion and exasperation. ‘I can leave if you want. This feels like a family matter.’
‘Yes that’s probably for the best,’ said Denise.
But Lily grabbed his hand. ‘No, Nick is my friend and he is supporting me.’
Denise rolled her eyes. ‘Supporting you? He hardly knows you.’
Anger caused Lily’s cheeks to flush, and she felt her voice rise. ‘He knows me better than you do right now. He knows what I want and he encourages me to live my life the way I want to live it.’
‘And what you want is to throw away years of training and hard work to play teacher in some village school?’ Denise’s voice was filled with contempt.
‘Denise,’ Peter said. ‘Now is not the time.’
But Denise put her hand up. ‘You have an extraordinary talent, Lily. Why are you not honouring it?’
‘I am honouring it, Mum. I love teaching. I’ve always wanted to teach, but you told me to go to performing college, you told me not to waste my time teaching, and yet, I knew I wanted it all along.’
‘You have never said as much to me,’ she said looking at her husband. ‘Has she?’
Peter sort of mumbled and Lily shook her head at them both.
‘Dad, when are you going to stand up to her?’ She turned her attention to Denise.
‘I know you think you know what’s best for me but I’m nearly thirty and I don’t want what you wanted for me.
I don’t think I ever did but I was too afraid to say so.
Stop bullying me and stop henpecking Dad. It’s exhausting to be around you.’
Denise’s face crumpled, and she started to cry.
Lily put her hand on her mother’s, across the table.
‘Mum, you just don’t listen to me, and I know you love the theatre and all it entails but I want a different role in it.
I’ve only been teaching for a short while but I can’t wait to get to work.
I like having a weekly pay in my account.
I like watching children see what they’re capable of. ’
Lily noticed her father give a little smile and for a moment she was back at Pippin Cottage.
She was eight years old, and kneeling next to her grandmother in the garden.
The air was filled with the aroma of freshly turned soil as they carefully distributed carrot seeds from a packet into the ground.
Even though Gran’s hands were wrinkled, they were so strong back then, and they guided Lily’s smaller hands as they patted earth over the seeds.
‘Carrots don’t like to be moved, so we have to plant the seeds where they will stay. They don’t do well if you move them; they die from the shock.’
Lily felt sad for the little carrots who might die and she shook her head. ‘Oh we don’t want them to die,’ she said and looked up at her. ‘Gran, how do you know so much about carrots, and cooking and… well, everything?’
Lily remembered the pleased look on Gran’s face. ‘Darling, I’m sorry to say that I don’t know everything but I do like to learn and I read a lot. There are teachers everywhere if you look.’
‘Teachers?’ Lily became more alert. ‘Like at school?’
‘Sometimes.’ She nodded. ‘But a teacher can also be the lady up the road who has chickens, who can tell you what to do when your chooks stop laying, or the bin man who might know how to stop snails from eating your cabbages. People know lots of things; you just have to ask them.’
‘I would like to be a teacher. My piano teacher, Miss Weston, is so pretty and she wears pink nail polish when she plays, and she smells like roses.’
Gran gave a little laugh. ‘She sounds lovely,’ she said.
‘But I don’t know what I would teach?’ Lily pondered out loud.
‘Well, what do you love most?’ Gran enquired.
‘Singing!’ Lily responded without any hesitation. ‘Singing yes, and playing the piano.’
‘Then teach that,’ said Gran. ‘Now come on, let’s water these so they can have a drink and get growing. They need all the help they can get.’
Lily was back in the present as her mother cried.
‘I have wanted this for so long, Mum, and I didn’t know how to tell anyone, but being at the cottage with Gran – I can’t explain it – it’s like I’m my truest self.’
‘And you can’t be that with me?’ Denise asked. ‘You can’t be that in London?’
‘No, Mum, I can’t.’
Peter leaned into them. ‘I understand this is important, but we do have to discuss Gran,’ he said. ‘She can’t go home. We do need to consider a nursing home,’ he said.
Lily glared at her father. ‘She’s not going to a nursing home,’ she said. ‘She wants to be in her own home.’
‘She can’t be. It’s out of our hands,’ he said. ‘You’ve seen how she looks and if you’re working, who will be there to care for her if this happens again? No, she needs to go to a home.’
Lily felt the rage returning. ‘No, she will be at Pippin Cottage.’
‘And you will give up your new job to care for her? And not do the show, which we haven’t even discussed,’ Denise snapped.
Lily looked at Nick who was silent. ‘Do you think she needs to be in a home?’ she asked him.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I think she needs to be in her home because older people don’t like to be moved.’
‘Like the carrots,’ Lily burst out. ‘They don’t do well if you move them. They die from the shock.’
Her parents looked at her as though she was insane and turned to Nick.
‘You honestly think she will cope at home?’ Peter asked Nick. ‘She’s ninety-seven.’
Nick took Lily’s hand in his and held it tightly and she paused before he spoke.
‘We have a while before she can be home. They’ll do everything they can to help her but you have to be prepared. She will need an oxygen tank and lots of support.’
Lily nodded but looked at her parents. ‘We can arrange things at the cottage, I’m sure of it.’
But Denise shook her head. ‘She won’t be able to make it up the stairs.’
Lily looked to Nick. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think we have to do what she wants, which is to return home. We’ll have to make it as easy as possible for her but they’ll be able to work out what’s wrong with her heart and if they can improve the blood flow.’
‘We have to do this,’ Lily said. ‘We have to get her home again.’
Everyone was silent.
Lily went on. ‘She wanted to see me sing one more time on stage,’ she said firmly. ‘We open in two weeks. Can we get her to the show?’
‘They will do everything they can,’ said Nick. ‘But she’ll be in here for at least a week, I think, and then we’ll see.’
Lily turned to Nick. ‘We have to make this show the best it can be.’
He nodded. ‘We will,’ he said as Lily looked to her parents.
‘And you can bring her, and I don’t want to hear anything about the show from you, Mum, about what’s wrong with it or why it’s not good enough for me.
The people in this show are working so hard, for nothing more than putting on a great show.
So come, enjoy it and I don’t want to hear a single bad thing, okay? ’
Denise’s eyes were wide and she nodded her consent.
Lily stood up. ‘We have to go,’ she said to her parents. ‘We have a rehearsal tomorrow night and I am working tomorrow, but I will come and see Gran after work because I’m right near her now.’
Nick stood up with her. ‘Nice to meet you both,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry it’s under such difficult circumstances.’
Denise and Peter nodded at him and Peter outstretched his hand for Nick to shake.
‘Thank you, for everything,’ her father said.
Lily leaned down and kissed both her parents on the cheek. ‘I’ll speak to you tomorrow. If you hear anything from the doctors before me, please let me know.’
And then she turned and walked out of the hospital with Nick, no longer a child but finally feeling like an adult.
Letter
To my sweet Lily, aged fifteen,
I’m sitting at the kitchen table and writing this. Ever since you left, I’ve been thinking about your goodbye. It felt more poignant than before and I think I know that your world is so much bigger than mine and so it should be.
No matter how close you were to me this summer, I could tell your mind wasn’t always with me, in the cottage, on our adventures.
You talked about your friends so much and yet when I asked you if you wanted to go back early to see them you said no. I wouldn’t have minded. I know you’re torn between them and still being a child.
Fifteen is hard.
I know that being here, away from your friends and the boys you’ve been talking about, hasn’t been easy for you.
The house was enough when you were younger.
It was enough to have the yard, the walks, and the baking.
Now I see that pull – the one that makes you want to go back to the life you’re making outside of here.
It’s true that this summer wasn’t quite the same for you, but I’m so proud of the young woman you’re becoming.
You were torn this summer between the slow, peaceful days at the farm and the fast-paced, fun life you had with your friends back home.
I could see it in the way you’d sit in the garden and look at the trees.
Your mind was somewhere else, but I know you were trying to be present here and that was so sweet.
You don’t owe me anything, Lily. You have shown me more love than twelve grandchildren.
I’m excited for you and what’s next for you because you’re becoming an adult and finding out who you are.
With all the fun that comes with being fifteen, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be where the action is with your friends.
You should have a great time and enjoy every second of it as we are only young once.
Also, don’t forget that it’s okay to slow down every once in a while.
After the busy life you have now, the house may seem quiet.
But there’s something special about that quiet that I hope you’ll remember even when you’re not here.
You’re at an age where everything is exciting and new, where friendships are strong, and where feelings are strong.
I’ve seen how happy you get when you talk about your friends and how much you care about them.
They care about you and share your laughs and secrets.
You’re lucky to have them in your life. My friendships in this village are everything to me.
I’m so proud of how much you’re growing up, my love.
There is a lot to see and do in the world ahead of you.
You have a big heart, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy every trip that comes your way.
Also, don’t forget that you can come back here if you need to.
You will always have a connection to Pippin Cottage.
It’s in your heart and soul. Even if you don’t come back as often as you once did, it will be here whenever you need to remember who you really are.
With all my love,
Gran