Chapter 31
Lily pushed open the heavy door to the cardiac unit, the unfamiliar antiseptic smell filling her senses and making her feel a little nauseous.
All day at school she had been counting down the hours until she saw Gran and now she was here. There was no update yet. Her father had told her via text message, which she took to be a good sign for Gran’s health, for now.
‘Hi, Gran,’ Lily said quietly as she entered Gran’s room. Her heart clenched when she saw her so small and fragile-looking in the hospital bed, dressed in a pale pink hospital gown, her eyes closed. Her hair was messy and her face was dry from the air, Lily noticed.
Gran’s eyes flickered open. ‘Lily, my darling,’ she said softly, her voice shaky. ‘You’re here. How was school?’
Of course, Gran’s first question would be about her and how she was.
‘Never mind about me, how are you?’ Lily said as she pulled up a chair beside the bed.
‘Oh I’m fine, same as ever, but please tell me about your day. It’s so boring here.’
‘Okay, we can trade question for question,’ Lily said. ‘School was fine. I’m teaching some of the girls who are getting singing lessons the Andrews Sisters songs so they can learn harmonies. They’re enjoying them.’
‘“Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” or “Apple Tree”?’ asked Gran, a little breathlessly.
‘“Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree”,’ Lily answered.
‘A good choice,’ Gran said and hummed a little until she was well out of breath.
‘Less singing, more breathing,’ Lily said to her and Gran gave a little giggle.
Lily observed the oxygen tube in Gran’s nose, and the monitors beeping constantly beside her. She appeared paler than she had ever seen her, almost translucent against the bright white hospital linens.
‘Has the doctor been in today?’ Lily enquired, attempting to keep her voice light.
Gran nodded slowly. ‘Dr Thompson arrived early. A lot of big words and concerned looks.’
Lily’s stomach twisted as she tried to keep her voice and tone light. ‘What did he say?’
‘Nothing I didn’t already know, love,’ Gran murmured, patting Lily’s hand lightly. ‘This old heart of mine is tired.’
Lily felt tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She blinked them back, determined to be strong for Gran. ‘Do not talk like that. You’ll be back at Pippin Cottage before you know it!’
Gran’s gaze appeared to be directed away from Lily, towards someplace distant. ‘Pippin Cottage,’ she mumbled. ‘I do miss it so much.’
‘It’s waiting for you,’ Lily informed her. ‘Although Mr Mistoffelees has been sitting on your chair.’
‘The impudence of that cat,’ said Gran, not sounding the least bit cross.
Gran’s gaze refocused on Lily. ‘How is Nick?’
Lily smiled, and Gran raised her eyes to the heavens.
‘Oh you are in love. I can see it now.’
Lily was silent for a moment, thinking of her night with Nick.
‘I think I am, Gran.’
Gran smiled and closed her eyes. ‘Perfect.’ She was quiet for a moment. ‘Rehearsals tonight?’
‘Yes, not long now. We open in two weeks,’ she said trying to keep her voice cheerful. ‘I really hope you can come and see it, but I understand if you can’t, you know, if things are beyond your control,’ she said leaving the unspoken between them.
‘I’ll be there,’ Gran whispered. ‘I’m just a bit tired now but I’ll perk up.’
‘You should rest,’ Lily stated, straightening up and adjusting Gran’s bed linen. She leaned down and kissed Gran’s forehead. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’
‘Lily.’ Gran grabbed her hand. Her grip was strong, despite her weak appearance.
‘Don’t do anything you don’t feel passionate about in life, you know, the big things.
Just try everything that speaks to you,’ she said, her eyes bright.
‘Don’t waste your time here living another person’s life. Live your own.’
Lily nodded, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. ‘I won’t, I promise,’ she said as Gran then let go of her hand.
‘Now go, I need my beauty sleep.’
Lily left the room, closed the door and leaned against the wall outside Gran’s room.
Her chest was tight and tears fell. She had never seen Gran look so vulnerable and she knew what Nick was saying was true.
The realisation struck her like a physical blow: Gran was dying.
This was it, and the question was: would she get to see her sing one last time?
Lily walked out of the hospital in a fog, not noticing the busy reception area or the sliding doors that opened for her. As she stepped outside, she felt the fresh air on her face and took a deep, trembling breath.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Sheila sent a text:
Rehearsal in thirty minutes. Do not be late!
Lily looked at the message, her eyesight blurring. How was she meant to attend rehearsal now? How could she sing and dance while Gran lay in a hospital bed looking so unwell?
But she knew exactly what Gran would say. ‘The show must go on,’ she would insist, her blue eyes gleaming. Lily could almost hear her own voice.
It felt like she was walking through tar as she headed to her car.
Keep it together, she said to herself as she started the drive to Appleton Green.
Concentrate on the show, concentrate on Nick, she told herself, and she thought of them singing the Cole Porter classic together, the way their voices sounded so perfect together, the way they kissed, the way their bodies fitted together.
‘Concentrate, Lily,’ she said loudly in the car, attempting to collect herself. ‘Onwards,’ and she drove to rehearsals.
When she arrived, she could see some of the cast members approaching the hall, chatting and laughing.
She envied them and their moods and she took a moment.
Don’t bring bad energy into the rehearsal space, was one of the biggest lessons she had learned at university and never had it been more apt than this moment.
She took a deep breath and exited the car, walking towards the entrance. She smiled as she pushed the door open and walked inside and gasped.
The makeshift stage that she had become accustomed to was gone and in its place was a beautifully built set that could have been used in a professional show. The entire hall had been transformed, in fact, with the old walls now hidden behind carefully painted sets of London streets in the 1800s.
The stage was lined with intricately designed shopfronts and lampposts, making a lively, three-dimensional cityscape, and there were even lampposts along the aisle, carefully placed so they didn’t disrupt the view of the audience but still lent ambience to the room.
On stage was the Covent Garden flower market, complete with flower carts and vendor stands with lots of artificial flowers.
The attention to detail was amazing, from the floor that looked like it was made of worn-down cobblestones to the lighting that was meant to look like gas lights.
Lily could almost smell the scent from the pretend flowers and hear the city’s noise.
She stood in shock, as she realised that this amateur show had all of a sudden become very professional. The set wasn’t just a background; it was a live, breathing part of their show that made it better than she had imagined.
‘Jasper, it’s incredible,’ she cried out. ‘It’s absolutely incredible.’
Jasper turned to see her and he beamed. ‘You wouldn’t expect anything less would you, Miss Baxter? Now, we will run Act One from the top.’
Lily nodded, still in awe of her surroundings, and made her way to the stage. As she looked around, she almost prayed that Gran would get to see this.
Sheila cried out, ‘All right, places, everyone. Lily, centre stage please.’
Lily took her place on the stage, and as the scene ran through, she heard her name.
‘Lily, it’s your line,’ yelled Jasper from the seats below and she realised she was still mentally back in the hospital room with Gran.
‘Oh God, I’m so sorry.’ She let out a sob as David, in his Henry Higgins hat, put his arm around her.
‘Lily?’ Sheila’s voice sounded anxious. ‘Are you all right?’ She came onto the stage as Jasper came up and Nick came rushing from backstage.
‘God I’m so sorry, I’m such a sook,’ she said.
‘You’re not a sook. Your grandmother is in hospital,’ Nick said to her.
‘Oh no,’ said Jasper. ‘Is she okay?’
Lily shook her head, tears falling freely down her cheeks. ‘I don’t know,’ she choked out. ‘I couldn’t… I can’t do it today and I want to because I want her to see it, but I can’t seem to focus.’
Nick held her close and helped her off the stage and down into the chairs on the floor as Jasper came and sat beside her.
‘That’s very sad, Lily. She’s a marvellous woman – very wise,’ he said.
Lily nodded, attempting to get herself together, but Jasper’s words just made her cry again. ‘I’m sorry,’ she reiterated. ‘I shouldn’t have come.’
‘Nonsense.’ Sheila was standing in front of her. ‘You’re right where you should be. We are a family here, Lily. We support one another through thick and thin. That’s what a company does.’
Lily looked up, astonished to find the rest of the cast gathering around, their expressions filled with concern and pity.
‘Why don’t we take a break?’ Sheila proposed. ‘David, turn on the urn. I believe we could all use a cup of tea and I have a lovely sponge cake and some of Mrs Douglas’s shortbreads for everyone.’
Lily started to cry again and shook her head, as though trying to set all the pieces in place in her brain.
As the cast dispersed, Sheila returned her attention to Lily. ‘What do you need?’
‘Why are you being nice to me? You’re Jessica’s aunt. I know what you think of me.’
Sheila swallowed. ‘I am not a terrible person, and yes, I will support Jessica, but I also know she might have misrepresented the truth recently and I have been unfair, blinkered by familial loyalty instead of common sense. And for that I am very sorry.’ She lifted her head proudly.
Lily nodded. ‘I understand,’ she said with a sigh.
‘I am very capable in a crisis, so why don’t you tell me everything and we can all work it out as a team, because that’s what we are, a team. The Appleton Green Amateur Drama Society.’
She spoke with a sense of kindness and also practicality that Lily admired. Sheila might be many things, but Lily had the sense she was someone you could rely on in a crisis.
And there, in the centre of the village hall, surrounded by the aroma of greasepaint and the distant sound of a kettle, Lily let it all out. Her anxieties, shame, and overpowering love for Gran all came spilling out.
Sheila listened carefully, her arm never leaving Lily’s shoulders and when Lily eventually became silent, Sheila murmured softly, ‘Your grandmother and I were not ever friends but she is a remarkable woman, and she raised an equally remarkable granddaughter.’
Lily managed a teary smile. ‘Thank you,’ she muttered.
‘Now,’ Sheila replied, her tone brisk. ‘This is what we are going to do. You’ll drink a cup of tea and then run through Act One. Not because we have to rehearse, but because music heals, Lily. It’ll serve you well and who knows, your grandmother might just make it to the show in time.’
Lily nodded, feeling a warm sensation in her chest for the first time since leaving the hospital.
As David approached with a warm mug of tea, Lily realised that even if her world was shifting beneath her feet, she was not alone.
She had her grandmother’s love, the love of Nick, her newfound family in the cast, and the healing power of music to help her get through.