Chapter 28
twenty-eight
. . .
BLAIR
I look at my face in the mirror, surprised I don’t see any dark circles. In fact, I look good, rested, with a fresh flush on my face. It’s probably because I’ve slept so well. I guess multiple orgasms will do that to a girl. Plus, when I sleep, I can pretend that everything is perfect with Wyatt.
My logical brain knows this is a bad idea, but my body does not care. I felt that spark ignite again, like no time had passed. I thought I had made it up in my head, a feeling amplified by heartbreak. It’s stronger now. Years of regret and longing are edging us this time. It’s exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
I pull my hair into a ponytail, grab my AirPods, and walk out the door. I need to process all this, and only two things help me think: running and Jess.
ME
I’m going for a run.
JESS
I’ll get the wine ready.
I don’t know what I would do without her. She has always known exactly what I need, even before I do.
I’m covered in a sheen of sweat when I arrive at Jess’s place, and she opens the door with a wet hand towel and a glass of chardonnay.
“I’m assuming this is about Wyatt?” she says as she turns back to the kitchen.
“I slept with him.”
I’ve never seen Jess whip around so quickly, and the look on her face makes me laugh so hard I collapse.
“Way to jump right in there. Say more.”
I recap what his father said about me distracting him to the point of ruin and how he mentioned he expected a different plus-one for Wyatt. Then I fast-forward to the part where I left the reception early, but how he showed up on my doorstep after, and then we were naked minutes later.
She sets a bowl of popcorn and a plate of twizzlers next to our glasses of wine. “Please, be specific. Size, creativity, language…” Jess begs me.
I ignore her and confess how comfortable I felt with him. It was obviously different this time, but also not. It felt familiar. Right. I’m desperate to give in to the emotions, but I’m cautious about getting too attached. I can’t help the feeling that I’ve been here before. My mind replaying my track record with men.
“I see your brain trying to figure out how to shut this down.”
“Yep. I have to shut it down, right?”
“Why?” Jess is sipping on her wine and giving me that quizzical look over the rim of her glass. I stepped right into her web, and now we’re going to have to play the “so what, what if” game.
“Jess, you know why. Don’t do your head tricks on this one.”
“Did you like it?”
I lean my head back and rub my hands over my face.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Did he like it?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it.”
Jess is quiet for a minute, knowing I’ll say more.
“We’re obviously still attracted to each other, and it felt…” I trail off, trying to find the words to explain it. It felt like forever.
“You know what I’m going to say. If it’s supposed to happen, it will. No matter how you try to fight it or avoid it. So, just let it be.”
Jess has always believed we’re all on a path and, when we resist or question things, we’re just delaying our destiny. The idea of that sounds great. Permission to just live and enjoy life? Easier said than done.
“I’m not just going to throw myself at him,” I say.
“I didn’t say that. But if you fall into bed again, so be it.”
I lie back and stretch my body across the carpeted living room floor.
“Maybe.”
I’m afraid if we spend more time together, I’ll believe I could have a happily ever after. And I don’t know if I do.
“Ok, I’m calling reinforcements,” Jess says and gets up off the floor to grab her phone.
“No! Nobody else can know about this!”
“Calm down. You are too much in your head. I’m just calling Stella over. We can day drink and hang by the pool. You need distractions!”
Jess types on her phone as she walks down the hall. “Stella’s on her way.” She shouts from her room. “And she’s bringing Brandon and Natalie!”
“Who’s Natalie?”
“Stella’s yoga teacher friend. She’s awesome!”
I peel myself off the ground and head to Jess’s room to borrow a bathing suit. I’m too distracted to work right now anyway.
“So, don’t hold out on us. How was the wedding?” Brandon is already in the pool, his arms hanging over the edge. “Did you meet the parents? Did you go home with Wyatt?”
I almost choke on my drink.
“It was completely normal,” I say. “The parents are fine. And no, I didn’t go home with Wyatt.” Technically, that is true. Hopefully, that’s enough detail.
“Come on, spill. You’re telling me there was no drama, no mystery, no suspense?”
I laugh. It’s clear that spending so much time with actors and actresses has influenced Brandon’s appetite for gossip.
“Oh, I don’t know. There was probably a little mystery,” Jessica whispers under her breath. Thankfully, Brandon doesn’t hear her.
“I’m sure you have better stories to tell about your Fourth,” I say, trying to change the subject.
Stella immediately blushes, and she and Natalie look at each other and then over at Brandon.
“Stella has a new neighbor that she thinks is hunky,” Brandon teases.
Jess and I look at Stella, our eyebrows raised.
“I’m so mortified. Right in the middle of getting ready to go out for the night, someone knocked on the door, and when I opened it, there was this God of a man. Think Harry Styles?—”
“I’m not sure he was quite up to that level,” Brandon says.
“He was so hot I literally lost my words, and when he asked if this was Sam and Delilah’s place, I responded with ‘Hunky.’” She slaps her hands over her face, and we all burst out laughing.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” I reassure her.
“It was that bad,” Natalie confirms.
Stella tells us that Sam and Delilah are her neighbors and the Harry lookalike is their nephew. He’s just moved to town and is staying with his aunt and uncle until he can find his own place.
The three of them are gossiping about how Stella will never be able to face him and how nervous she is about running into him again when my phone buzzes.
I’m not even aware of the huge grin stretched across my lips when I see Wyatt’s name. We exchange a few texts, and when I look up, Jess is staring.
“What?” I ask.
“You tell me.”
“He wants to take me to dinner.”
“I’m guessing from the glow on your face that you’re going.”
Hell, yes, I am.