Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
SARAH
I can’t stop staring at his lips. All I’ve wanted all freaking night is for Tanner to kiss me. He was a grade A kisser when we were teenagers, fumbling around in the few moments we could steal away here and there.
I bet he’s out of the stratosphere now.
“I can’t do this here,” he whispers and swallows hard, as if telling me no is killing him, which is good because it’s absolutely destroying me. “Not here, not now, Sarah. Not like this after all this time.”
“So, you’re not turning me down because I repulse you?”
His eyes widen, he furrows his brows, and then he laughs.
Just tips his head forward and laughs.
“ Repulse ,” he mutters. “Sarah, I’ve wanted you since I was sixteen fucking years old, and that hasn’t changed for one minute. But honey, we’re in a public place with our friends, and what I want to do to you is absolutely nobody’s business.”
I bite my lip at the idea of what he might want to do to me.
I can’t help it. I haven’t had sex in a really, really long time.
And even when it was new, and neither of us knew what in the hell we were doing, having sex with Tanner was always incredible.
“Don’t look at me like that.” His eyes have narrowed on me.
“Like what?”
“Like you want to eat me alive.”
I offer him a shy smile and shrug a shoulder. “I do want to eat you alive. And I decided to throw the idea of awkwardness out the window because it’s only weird if we make it that way, and I’m done with it. I’ve spoken it into the universe.”
He boops my nose with the tip of his finger.
“I’m glad because I definitely don’t feel awkward with you right now.”
“That’s a coincidence, because I don’t either.”
“Oh, my God, why are all of you so freaking full of hormones?”
We both turn our heads at the sound of June’s voice, and I can’t help but laugh at the look of pure torture on her pretty face.
“I haven’t had enough alcohol for this,” she declares and stomps away, throwing her hands in the air.
“June has issues with PDA.” I shrug and turn to walk away from him. “I’ll go placate her.”
“Sarah.”
I turn at his voice and see what I’ve wanted to see on his face for what feels like forever.
Hunger.
“This isn’t finished.”
I feel the smile spread slowly over my face. “Definitely not.”
When I return to the pool table, I can see by the humor-filled glances from my friends that June told them what she saw in the hallway.
“Hi.” I try to sound nonchalant as I sit on a stool and pick up my drink. “How’s it going?”
“Not as well as it is for you, apparently,” Apollo says and earns a punch in the shoulder from June. “Hey!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Nothing even happened,” I reply, and June snorts so loud, it wouldn’t surprise me if people two towns over can hear her.
“Right. That’s what I saw. Nothing. Tanner practically eating you alive is nothing.”
“He absolutely was not doing that. Maybe I fell, and he helped me up like a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead, you know.”
“Maybe she had something in her eye, and he was helping her get it out,” Luna adds helpfully, and I offer her a high-five.
“ Maybe ,” June continues, “she wanted to get her face sucked off.”
“Well, that’s a delightful way to put it,” I mutter into my glass.
“Given that she’s a grown adult, it doesn’t matter what she was doing in the hallway,” Tanner says as he joins us and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Nosy Nelly.”
“I am not a Nosy Nelly,” June counters. “I just happen to always walk in on you people when I absolutely do not want to. Do those things in private.”
“You sound…jealous,” Apollo decides, watching June. “I could help you out with that.”
“When a blizzard blows through hell,” June mutters before checking the time. “I should go home. I have an early start at work in the morning.”
“I’ll drive you,” Apollo offers and pulls his keys out of his pocket.
“No, I’m fine.” June tries to blow him off, but Apollo just shakes his head.
“You may not want to kiss me, but you will not drive home after drinking just because you can’t stand the sight of me,” Apollo returns darkly. “Don’t be so damn stubborn, Juniper. Let’s go.”
June’s face hardens, but she follows Apollo out of the restaurant.
“He’d better be careful,” Wolfe says with a grin. “She looks like she wants to murder him in his sleep.”
“When are they going to admit that they’re hot for each other?” I wonder aloud, my head tilted to the side.
“I don’t know why people say that,” Luna says, shaking her head. “June is not hot for my brother.”
“Oh, yes, she is,” Wolfe says and kisses Luna’s cheek. “They’re both just too stubborn to admit it.”
“I should go, too.” I can’t stop the yawn, so I don’t try. “I have a long day at work tomorrow, as well. I wish Gordy could find more help. As it is, we’re all working doubles right now. And I don’t mind so much, because the pay is great, but I think we’re all going to burn out quickly, and the summer isn’t even here yet.”
“When school gets out, you’ll have more summer help,” Luna reminds me. “Just a couple months left to go.”
“That’s true, and I can’t wait.” I stand and gather my purse, and Tanner joins me.
“Let’s go,” Tanner says, holding his hand out for mine.
“You guys didn’t drink much,” Luna points out.
“We have to get our girls home safely,” Wolfe reminds her as we all walk outside after waving goodbye to the owners behind the bar.
Once in Tanner’s car, we’re quiet as he drives us home. Nothing is far away in Huckleberry Bay, but I enjoy the drive with the window rolled down and the cool ocean breeze blowing in on my face.
Of course, I had the ocean air in California, but it’s not the same as the Oregon Coast. It’s just not quite as magical.
I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be embarrassed in the morning by the encounter with Tanner in the hallway tonight. I don’t think so. I wasn’t lying when I told him that I’ve decided to shed the feeling of shame or uncomfortableness when I’m with him.
And I feel so much better now that I’ve let that crap go.
No, I’m not embarrassed at all.
Tanner parks and cuts the engine, but neither of us makes a move to get out of the car. Instead, we sit in the darkness, watching the stars in the clear sky in silence.
Until he reaches over and simply takes my hand in his, pulls it up to his lips, and kisses my knuckles so tenderly, it almost brings tears to my eyes.
“I thought of you often.” His voice is soft, breaking through the stillness. “Do you know how difficult it is to live in this town, where all of our memories live, without you here? Even if we weren’t together anymore, it would have been so much easier with you here, because I know that even then, we would have remained friends, and I could talk to you about stuff.”
“I’d like to think that would be the case.” I press my lips together. “I’m sorry, Tanner. For all of it.”
“Let’s be honest, Sarah, it was my fault. I was the idiot who broke things off and went back to college, thinking that I was free as a bird and could do what—and who—I wanted.”
“How did that work out for you?” I can’t help but glance his way, watching the cringe on his handsome face.
“Let’s just say that I discovered what it means when they say, if you water your own grass, it’ll be as green as the grass on the other side of the fence. I should have fed the relationship I had with you. It was great, and I didn’t even know what I had until it was gone.”
“You were nineteen.” I squeeze his hand, then turn in the seat so I’m facing him. “You were a kid, Tanner. A boy, and it makes sense that hormones were raging, and it wasn’t easy to be faithful when you were hundreds of miles away. At least you had the decency to break it off with me before you started something with someone else.”
He frowns, still staring through the windshield. “It didn’t occur to me to do anything else.”
“And that’s why you’re a good man. You did the right thing, Tanner.”
He turns to me now, scowling. “How can you say that? I broke up with you, and you married the next guy to freaking smile at you.”
“Wow.” I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. “First of all, I’m not stupid. Yes, I was young and flattered that an older, wealthy man wanted me, but if I hadn’t wanted to be with him, I would have said no. I didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to do, and it had absolutely nothing to do with you.”
“I didn’t mean for it to sound that condescending,” he admits, shaking his head. “I just meant that the rebound guy is the one you ended up marrying, and he was a complete asshole to you.”
“How do you know that?”
His mouth opens and closes for a moment, and then he sighs. “It’s a gut feeling. You came home without much of anything to your name after being married for more than a decade. You were sad, Sarah. You seemed so injured, more than from simply deciding to end a marriage.”
“I think ending a marriage all on its own would be pretty damn sad,” I whisper, but then I shrug a shoulder. “But you’re right. It wasn’t a good marriage, from pretty much the minute we left Huckleberry Bay.”
“Then why did you stay so long?”
“If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that question…” I shake my head and watch as an owl flies overhead and lands on the roof of my little house. “I’d forgotten about the wildlife around here. It’s so cool. Anyway, in the beginning, I felt stuck. I don’t have parents that give a rat’s ass about me, and he was excellent at isolating me from my friends and everything I loved here. He had the money and the power.”
“Aside from being a controlling asshat, did he hurt you?”
“He liked to hurt my feelings.” The words come slowly as I think it over. “I think he got great pleasure out of making me feel small. But physically, he was careful never to lay a hand on me in anger. Until that last day when he told me to leave, and I told him I’d contest the prenup. He didn’t like it when I stood up for myself.”
“What did he do?”
My gaze turns to his at the hardness in his voice. “He smacked me around, told me I would do as I was told, and to get the fuck out. He’d found a replacement. You know, if he’d never kicked me out, and we’d just continued the way we had for all those years—with him cheating on me, and me pretending I didn’t know—I don’t think I ever would have left voluntarily. Mostly because staying was easy. But he did me such a huge favor that day. Kicking me out was the best thing he ever did for me.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. I’m happy for you?”
“You should be,” I reply with a smile. “Because now, I’m home, and I’m renting your adorable little guest house, and I’ve decided that we’re going to have sex.”
He coughs, obviously startled, and then laughs. “Like, right now?”
“No, but soon. I think that’s enough walking down memory lane for tonight.”
“I won’t ask you more questions about your marriage, because it’s ultimately none of my business, except for one thing.”
“Okay, what’s that?”
“Is it final? The divorce?”
“Yes. He’s firmly in the past, Tanner, exactly where he should be. And I’m moving on with my life, full speed ahead.”
“Good. Good for you, Sarah, and I mean that, whether we have sex or not. Although, I do like that idea very much.”
I grin as I step out of his car and walk toward the house. “I had fun tonight.”
“Me, too.”
I stop by the door and turn to him. “I’m not asking you in tonight.”
“I didn’t assume that you were.” He leans in and kisses my forehead, and I feel the touch move through me, all the way down to my toes.
It’s delicious.
“Sleep well, Sarah.”
He waits while I unlock the door and step inside before he turns and walks across the driveway to his own house.
And when I close and lock the door, and turn to find Petunia giving me the stink eye for being out so late, I let out a long, gusty breath.
“Holy shit, he’s potent.”
“You’re sure you’re okay out here by yourself?” Luna looks doubtful as we stand in the grand foyer of the inn where I have my easel and paints set up, ready to get some work done. “It’s a big place, and even I feel weird when I’m out here alone.”
“I want to get the vibe of it all,” I assure my friend, excited to start painting. “I need to get started on these pieces so they’re ready for the grand opening.”
“That’s still a few months away, at least,” she says.
“Clearly, you’ve never created specific artwork for a special place.” I wink at her as I tie an apron around my waist. “Trust me, I’m great here. I’m not scared at all. Rose will protect me.”
“Okay, let me know if you need anything.” She turns to leave, but then spins back around. “Oh, I’ve been dying to ask. Did you and Tanner do… it the other night after the pizza place?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, we didn’t. We talked for a long time, and then he went home. But I made it clear that I plan to have sex with him.”
“Oh, well, as long as you’re both aware of your plans.” She rolls her eyes, making me laugh.
“What’s wrong with having a plan?”
“It kind of takes the spontaneity and romance out of it, don’t you think?”
“Not really. Now, leave me alone so I can work. I’ll see you later.”
“Good luck,” she says before walking out the front door and shutting it behind her.
Some would definitely find the inn to be creepy, at least in the state that it’s in right now. The shell is finished, with drywall, electricity, and even plumbing.
But that’s it. No flooring, no paint, and certainly no furniture adorn the space.
It’s big and empty, and even my breath echoes between the empty walls.
“Next time, I’ll figure out some music,” I mutter as I reference my notes for the first guest suite and get to work.
I’ve been at it for at least an hour, and feel good about my progress, when I smell the roses.
Luna’s family property has been haunted for as long as anyone remembers. It’s something that June and I were well aware of when we came to visit Luna as children.
Not to mention the many nights that I came to stay with Luna’s family when my own home life was just too bad to stick around for.
The Winchesters were more of a family to me than the two people who brought me into this world.
“Hi, Rose,” I say out loud, and smile when I feel a light breeze blow through my hair. “I hope you’re happy with what Luna’s done with the old barn, making it into an amazing inn, where people can come to visit Huckleberry Bay and enjoy the coast.”
Of course, I’ve never seen Rose, or been able to actually speak with her, but there have been plenty of times that I’ve smelled her over the years.
Rather than being afraid of her, she’s like an old friend.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I say and blow out a breath as I step back from the canvas to take it in for a moment. “I like the greens and orange in this one. I know it’s not exactly seascape ish, but I think it captures the mountains really well, and it’ll fit in with the décor for suite number one. I wish you could give me your thoughts.”
A door upstairs closes, but not loudly.
Not as if in temper.
“Thank you.” I check the time and start cleaning up my brushes, tucking away my supplies in the bag I use for hauling them back and forth. “You know, I wonder if Luna would let me store this stuff somewhere here, rather than bringing them with me every time I come over to work. I’ll have to ask her. Thanks for hanging out with me tonight, Rose.”
But when I reach for the easel, it suddenly goes flying across the room and smacks into the wall.
“Hey, what’s gotten into you?” I walk over, and reach down for it, but it skids out of my grasp once more. “Do you want me to leave it here?”
I prop my hands on my hips and scowl, and a door upstairs closes once more, slamming this time.
“What in the world? I’m going to go chat with Luna, but I hope you’re not mad at me, Rose. I actually like having you around.”
With that, I leave the easel lying on the floor and walk across the small field to Luna’s house.
“Are you done already?” she asks with a smile when I walk into the kitchen.
“I was in there for more than two hours.”
She raises a brow and checks the time. “That went fast. How did it go?”
I tell her about the painting and Rose. “It was like she didn’t want me to leave yet or something. Really weird.”
“Or she agrees that you should just leave your supplies here, and I’m completely fine with that. I’m sure there’s a closet out there you can use, and if not, I know I have space here.”
“Thanks, that’s helpful. Especially since I don’t have a car.”
“Speaking of, I’ll give you a lift home.” Luna reaches for her car keys. “Unless you want to stay for dinner.”
“Thanks, but I have a few things to do at home.”
The sun hasn’t quite set yet when Luna pulls into the driveway to drop me off.
“I’ll wait here, make sure you get inside okay,” she says.
“How chivalrous of you.” I wink at her, then lean over and kiss her cheek. “Thanks, friend. I’ll see you soon.”
“See you.”
I walk to the house and freeze when I’m about a foot away from the door.
I whirl around and run back to Luna’s car as she rolls down her window. “What’s wrong? Did you see a spider?”
“My door is ajar,” I inform her and then swallow hard. “Luna, someone’s been in my house.”