Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
~WILLA~
“ I feel human again,” I announce as I pad down the hallway to the kitchen, where Max is scooping scrambled eggs onto plates. “And I smell bacon.”
“I made you breakfast,” he says with a smile and leans in for a quick kiss. “Hungover?”
“Not at all.” I walk over to the Keurig to brew my second cup of coffee and lean against the counter to watch Max move about my kitchen. He’s tall and broad, with his dark hair disheveled, wearing the same clothes from last night.
His feet are bare, and for some reason I can’t put my finger on, I find that ridiculously hot.
Of course, Max is ridiculously hot.
Every day.
Damn him.
“Do you need ketchup or anything?” he asks.
“Nope.”
“Then breakfast is served.”
He carries our plates to the breakfast nook that’s tucked behind the kitchen. The round table sits before a bay window that looks out into my backyard. Deer walk across the grass.
“Thanks for cooking.” I take a bite of bacon and sigh in happiness. “I don’t usually get a home-cooked meal that I didn’t make myself.”
“I’m pretty good at breakfast,” Max says with a crooked smile. “The rest of the day isn’t as great.”
“I can live with that.” I sprinkle some pepper on my eggs and take a bite. “So, how was Seattle?”
“It was fine,” he says, not meeting my eyes.
“That’s good.”
I hate this. Awkwardness has never been our thing. I get the feeling that he’s not telling me something, but I won’t ask him to talk about it again. I’ve done that. He’s an adult. When he’s ready to talk, he will.
Or, he won’t.
“So, you came home yesterday?” I ask lamely, wanting to fill the silence.
“Yeah, I left Seattle around five Montana time, and it was early evening by the time I got home and settled. I had a little work to see to, and then I was going to call, but you beat me to it.”
I nod, a little embarrassed by how I must have sounded when he answered the phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I’m not usually one to drunk-dial someone.”
“You’re kidding.” His voice is dry, making me laugh.
“I’m actually not one to drink much, period. I have Alex.” It’s as simple as that, and Max doesn’t need me to explain further. He nods.
“But if you’re always horny when you’re a little drunk, we could probably schedule it in once in a while.”
I snicker and take a bite of my eggs. “Trust me, you don’t need to get me liquored up for me to want to bang you.”
“You’re so romantic, darling.”
I giggle again. “Wanting you isn’t an issue.”
“That’s a relief.”
“As long as there are no blond bimbos.”
He narrows his eyes and carefully sets his coffee mug down. Before I can react, he reaches out, grabs my wrist, and tugs me into his lap, then cups my jaw and brushes his thumb along my lower lip.
“There’s no one but you, Wills. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”
I sigh and tip my forehead down to his before admitting, “I’m not good at feeling insecure.”
“I don’t like that I made you feel that way,” he says. He swallows, kisses me, then sets me back in my chair. “We need to talk.”
This is it. He’s dumping me.
“You’re blinking.”
I glance up at him. “What?”
“You’re blinking rapidly. You only do that when you think something bad is going to happen.”
And that’s the downside to rekindling something with the person who used to know you better than anyone. He knows all your tells.
I never did have a poker face.
“’We need to talk’ is not usually something that a person starts with when it’s good news. So, if you’re breaking it off, just say so.”
“Jesus, Willa, I wouldn’t come in here, spend the night in your bed, make you breakfast, and then dump you.”
“So, you’re not dumping me?”
He swears under his breath and drags his hand down his face like he does when he’s frustrated. A little light of hope ignites in my chest.
“No.” He sighs and pushes his half-eaten plate of food away, then cradles his mug in his hands. “But we do need to talk about the past week.”
“Go on.” I clear my throat and take a sip of my coffee.
“You were right when you said I ran away. I didn’t want to admit it, but that’s exactly what I did.”
“Why?”
His eyes are pinned to mine now, sober and serious.
“I’ve been dreaming,” he says, surprising me.
“Dreaming?”
He nods and sips his coffee, then sets the empty mug aside and looks outside to watch a doe with her baby.
“About Cary. They’re nightmares. I’ve had dreams about Cary, about him dying, since that day on the mountain.”
“Max—”
“But these are different.”
He goes on to describe the horrible things Cary said to him, accusing him of stealing Alex and me, of killing him so Max could get his hands on us.
My God.
I brush at a tear rolling down my cheek as Max finishes telling me about the last nightmare in Seattle.
“Max, I’m so sorry. I wish you’d told me about this right away.”
“I was caught off guard,” he admits. “Like I said, I’ve dreamed about Cary off and on for years, and while they sucked, they weren’t hurtful. Not like this. And I didn’t know what to do with it. What if he’s right?”
I frown as he turns his worried gaze to mine.
“You did not kill Cary,” I insist.
“No, I know that. But what if he’s right about things now? That I’m poaching his family?”
“Max, you need to take a deep breath and think about this. First of all, Cary wouldn’t talk to you like that. He had moments of asshattery, but he loved you, and he wouldn’t say those things to you.
“Secondly, he’s not here. You’re not poaching on his territory because it’s not his. He’s gone. Alex and I are happy and fine. If you’d rather back out of our lives, don’t use this as a reason, because it’s completely unnecessary.”
“I don’t want to back out of your lives,” he admits. “I don’t think I could if I tried. I was gone for four days, and being away from you drove me insane.”
“Well, I kind of like the sound of that,” I admit and reach out to take his hand, linking our fingers. “Because I hated that you left. I need you to talk to me. Don’t back away. Don’t flee. Because that just tells me that you don’t want to try, and that hurts worse than if you stayed and fought.”
“Lesson learned,” he says, tugging me back into his arms. “When does Alex come home?”
“In about three hours.” I bury my face in the crook of his neck and just hold on tightly, soaking in the scent of him, and the warmth of his arms wrapped tightly around me. “Do you mind running me into town to pick up your car?”
“Why’s it in town?”
“Because I didn’t plan to drink that much. Grace drove me home.”
“I’ll take you,” he confirms as he stands with me still in his arms and marches back toward my bedroom. “Later.”
“Later?”
He tosses me onto the bed, making me laugh, and then strips out of his clothes before climbing on top of me.
“Much later.”
“Mom, these snow pants are too big around my feet.”
I glance into the backseat. “I know, but when you put your boots on, they’ll fit fine. You’ll see.”
“Where are we going again?” Alex asks. He’s been in a mood today. Ever since I told him that we couldn’t bring Rocky with us on our adventure, his attitude has been crappy.
“We’re going out to the King ranch,” Max says with a smile. “They have a ton of land, with the best sledding hills around. There will be other kids there, and Noah and Gray, too.”
“I haven’t seen Jillian and Cara in a while,” I say with a smile. “It’s always good to hang out with them.”
“Do you know them well?” Max asks.
“I know Cara through Grace. They taught school together. And, of course, small-town living means that I’ve met everyone several times. Cara and Jillian are a few years older than me, but they come to the shop quite a bit, and Jillian is in my yoga class.”
Max’s eyes whip over to me. “You take yoga?”
“Twice a week,” I confirm.
“Huh.”
“What?”
He shakes his head but looks over at me with mischief in his eyes, and I know his answer is not suitable for mixed company.
I laugh and feel the heat between my legs at the same time. Max has a habit of turning me on at the oddest moments.
It’s been one week since our time alone at my house. We’ve settled back into a steady rhythm of dinners together, Max bringing me coffee or lunch, and helping Alex with his homework.
It’s completely normal, and it feels amazing.
Max turns off the highway about twelve miles out of town and onto the driveway of the Lazy K Ranch. We keep going past a big, old farmhouse where Jillian and her husband, Zack, live with their four children.
Across the pasture, where dozens of black cows are grazing, I can see the smaller house that Zack and Josh’s parents moved into several years ago. And, finally, about another mile in, we reach Josh and Cara’s home.
This is a true family ranch, with all hands on deck. Zack returned home about five years ago after retiring from the military. His son, Seth, was already here, living with Josh.
In the past five years, the family has grown like crazy. Cara and Josh have two young kids, both under four years old.
Seth is a junior in high school now, and a mirror image of his father and uncle, who are identical twins.
Zack and Jillian also have three-year-old twins, and another baby on the way any day now.
“Looks like Ty and Lauren are here, too,” I say with excitement. “I haven’t seen her since she had the new baby.”
“There are gonna be babies here?” Alex grumbles.
“Max, can you please give me a moment with my son?”
Max raises a brow but nods as he shuts off the car.
“You bet. Just come inside when you’re ready.”
“Thanks.” Max leaves, and I unbuckle my belt, then turn in my seat so I can look at my son. “What’s going on, Alex?”
“Nothing.”
“Stop playing with your zipper and look at me.” He complies. “We can’t always take Rocky with us.”
“But he likes the snow.”
“Listen to me. It’s not polite to bring a dog to someone else’s home, Alex. Rocky can stay home sometimes.”
“He’ll be sad.”
“And then he’ll be happy when you get home,” I remind him. “Alex, Rocky doesn’t run the show. He’s a dog, and we love him, but he’s still a dog, and sometimes, he doesn’t get to go with us.”
Alex sighs dramatically, something he’s started doing recently. The teen years are going to be a blast, I just know it.
“Fine.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t you want to sled?”
“I do,” he says reluctantly. “But I want to ski more.”
“We’ve talked about this,” I remind him, putting an end to the conversation. “You know how I feel about skiing.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he grumbles again.
“There will be lots of kids here today, and Max will sled with you, too. I bet Noah and Gray want to sled also.”
“Okay,” he says.
“Will you please shake the attitude?”
He frowns, but I leave it at that and jump out of the car. I open his door and hold my hand out for his.
“Come on. I bet there’re snacks and goodies in there, and we don’t want Max to eat them all.”
That catches his interest, and he jumps out of the car, then waits patiently as we knock on the door.
Max answers it and searches my face for answers. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.”
The King household is a riot of activity. Kids and adults alike, running and laughing, tackling each other. Jillian, even more pregnant than when I saw her at yoga last week, is sitting on the couch, letting Cara’s daughter listen with her little ear pressed against the baby bump.
Ty and Lauren are in the kitchen with Jeff King, the patriarch of this family, showing off their littlest.
I’ll never remember all of the names, or even who belongs to whom. I just know that it feels amazing to be in the hustle and bustle of this big family.
I always wanted a big family. I have an older brother, Jesse, who I never see. I haven’t heard from him in over a year, and we were never especially close to begin with.
Being in the middle of a family like this fills my cup.
“Mom, I think I’m the oldest kid here,” Alex whispers up to me, looking mortified.
“Seth is older than you,” Max says, pointing to the tall, lanky boy currently playing a video game with his dad.
But Alex is right. He’s at an awkward age, with Seth being way older, and the others being way younger than him.
“Hey, Alex,” Noah says with a smile. “I want to go sledding. How about you?”
“I guess.” My son glances around nervously, and I suddenly wish I’d thought to invite Pierce to come along so Alex would have someone his own age with him.
“I want to go, too,” Max says. “I’ll go out and get the gear out of the car.”
“Same,” Seth says, tossing his controller onto the coffee table. “Alex, you can ride on my four-wheeler if you want.”
Alex’s face whips up to mine, his eyes big and hopeful, and I immediately know that today is going to be just fine.
“Can I, Mom?”
“I don’t?—”
“I have a helmet for him,” Seth assures me, giving me a smile that must have every girl in the high school losing their damn minds. “And I won’t go too fast.”
“Can I? Can I?”
“Yes, but please be careful.”
“You bet,” Seth replies and leads Alex out back.
“Alex is safe with Seth,” Cara assures me with a serene smile. She’s a petite blonde, with curves in all the right places. She’s happy and welcoming.
“We got Seth a new four-wheeler for Christmas because he outgrew the last one,” Jillian adds. Where Cara is fair, Jillian is dark. The two women are yin and yang, and the best of friends. “He’s in an adult size now.”
“He’s tall,” I agree, nodding. “I’d say he’s almost as tall as his dad.”
“It kills me,” Jillian says, shaking her head. “My boy is growing up.”
“And he’s a good kid,” Cara adds as she shifts a child from her hip to a high chair. “We’re going to hang out in here with the little ones, but you’re welcome to go out with everyone else. Enjoy the sledding for a bit, then come back in here for a hot toddy.”
“That actually sounds really good. I never get to play outside. But I bet I’ll be tired of it in fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll have something hot to drink ready for you,” Cara assures me. I follow where the guys went, out behind the house where about eight four-wheelers are parked along a fence-line as if they’re cars parked at the mall.
“This is interesting.”
“In the summer, those are horses,” Zack says with a wink.
“You’re with me,” Max says as he swings a leg over one of the vehicles. “Ready?”
“Hell, yes,” I murmur as I climb on behind him and hold on as he drives us through the snow, following the others. The ski hill for today is about a mile from the house, nestled in the trees. The mountains are beautiful, covered in fresh snow.
Noah and Gray have already developed a pull-system, using two of the four-wheelers to pull the kids on their sleds up the hill so they can sled down without having to hike up.
“Seems like cheating,” I say to Max, who just shrugs and wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“I don’t want to hike up that thing.”
“Good point.”
“Mom!” Alex calls, waving at me as he’s towed up the hill. “Watch me, okay?”
“I’m watching!” I call back. Seth is at the top of the hill and gives Alex instructions before giving him a gentle push down.
“Yeah!” Alex yells as he sails down the hill, but just as he reaches the bottom, he topples off the sled. Assuming he’ll pop up with a laugh, we wait.
But he doesn’t.
He pops up, gasping for breath, and Max and I run to him. Noah’s already there.
“Hey, buddy,” Max says, taking Alex by the shoulders. “Calm down and take a deep breath.”
“What’s going on?” I demand.
“Just got the wind knocked out of him,” Noah says with a wink.
“You’re okay, Alex,” Max croons. “Take another breath.”
Finally, Alex breaks down and cries and clings to Max’s jacket.
“I know it’s scary,” Max says and kisses Alex’s head, making me swoon. “It totally sucks, but you’ll feel better in just a minute.”
“I’m done,” Alex says, angrily swiping at the alligator tears. “I want to go home.”
“You just got here,” Seth says as he joins us.
“I’m done,” Alex repeats, standing and walking in the direction of the house.
“Alex—” I begin to chastise him, but Max holds up a hand as if to say, “ give me a minute.”
“That’s not how we do this, buddy,” Max says, making Alex stop in his tracks. “When you fall, you have to get back up and do it again. Otherwise, you’ve let the scary thing beat you, and I know you’re not a quitter.”
Alex frowns, looking down at his boots and then back up at Max.
“Do you think if my dad didn’t die, he would have gotten back on the skis?”
I hold my breath, surprised by the question.
No, not surprised.
Shocked.
“Yes, I do,” Max says. “He would have gotten right back up and skied down the hill.”
Alex thinks about it for a second, then walks back to Noah.
“Okay, I’m ready to go again.”
“Let’s go, then,” Noah says, but looks at both Max and me with sober eyes. He starts the four-wheeler and pulls Alex behind him.
“Well, damn,” Zack mutters when Alex is out of earshot.
“He’s never asked about his dad like that,” I say softly so only Josh, Zack, Ty, and Max can hear me. “Never.”
“He’s growing up, and he’s curious,” Josh says.
“And he’s around Max more,” Ty adds. “Maybe that’s making him think more about his dad.”
Max and I share a look.
“Just when I thought I had this parenthood thing in the bag,” I say, shaking my head.
“It’s never in the bag,” Zack says with a wink. “Trust me on that.”