Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
~WILLA~
“ I can’t believe this,” I mutter as I throw my stuff into my handbag, stomping around my office like a caged animal.
“Don’t freak out,” Mom warns me, watching me pace. “You don’t know the whole story.”
“They went skiing. That’s all I need to know. I can’t believe I trusted him.”
“Should I drive you home?”
I glance over to find Mom scowling in concern. “No. I’m fine. Are you sure you’re okay here with the two new girls? They’re good, but they’re still green.”
“I’ve got this,” Mom assures me. “Go take care of things, but keep an open mind, Willa Elizabeth.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I mutter as I toss my scarf around my neck and hurry out to my—I mean Max’s—car. He assured me over the phone that he’d meet me at my house, and I’m going to have to restrain myself from driving dangerously fast to get there. To see with my own two eyes that my baby is safe and whole.
I’m so fucking pissed.
Wouldn’t Max know better than to take my son to the very place where his father died ?
“What the hell is wrong with him?” I ask the car at large as I speed down the highway, praying I don’t get pulled over and issued a ticket.
I don’t.
I’ve also never made it home so fast from downtown in my life.
Max’s Mercedes is in the drive, and the lights are on in the house. I put the Range Rover in park, shut it off, and without even reaching for my bag or anything else, I hurry out of the vehicle and into the house to find Alex and Max grinning from ear-to-ear, standing in my kitchen as if nothing of interest is happening.
“You.” I point to Max and quickly shed my scarf and coat, tossing them onto the floor. “I’m going to need an explanation. And when I say explanation, the only appropriate answer is that someone held a mother-effing gun to your head and gave you no other choice but to take my son to that godforsaken deathtrap.”
“Willa—”
“No. No. ” I shake my head and stomp around the kitchen island as both of them watch me with wide eyes and somber faces. “I’ve made it perfectly clear to Alex how I feel about this, and you should know that the last place I’d want my son is on that mountain, Max.”
“If you’d just listen to me?—”
“Listen to what, exactly?” I stop and prop my fists on my hips. “You took it upon yourself to make a decision without even calling me . Max, you are not Alex’s father, and you don’t get to call these kinds of shots. These are decisions for me to make.”
“Wills.”
“No.” I stop and glare at him through the tears filling my eyes. “I’m so damn angry with you. So frustrated. My heart fell to my feet when you said you took him skiing. It’s a feeling I don’t ever want to have again, and if you can’t understand that, then I’m not sure what we’re doing here. What’s the point?”
“Enough,” Max snaps, making me blink rapidly. “I’m happy to have a calm discussion with you about this, but I will not be yelled at and belittled by you. Especially not in front of your son, who I happen to have a lot of respect for. So, when you’ve calmed down, you can come find me.”
He reaches for his jacket as he turns to Alex.
“I’ll see you later, buddy.”
“’Kay.”
Alex’s face is pale as he watches Max walk out the door.
“I can’t believe he just left,” I mutter and lean against the counter, hanging my head in frustration. I want to discuss this like a rational adult, but all of my worst fears flashed before my eyes at least a dozen times since I got off the phone with Max and pulled up to the house.
“Mom,” Alex says softly.
“Not now, Bubba. I’m sorry, but I’m very upset.”
“Mom, I need to talk to you,” he says, and I can hear the urgency in his voice, so I put my own love-life issues to the side and look down at my son.
“Why are you crying?”
“Mom.” He sniffles. “I’m sorry. I told Max that it would be okay if we went skiing.”
Oh, God. “ Alex. ”
“I knew you would say no, and I really wanted to go, so I told him that it wasn’t a big deal. That I was supposed to have ski lessons this year anyway, but we didn’t have time for them.”
“Alexander.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers and brushes a tear from his cheek. “I just…my friends can ski, and I know Dad loved to ski. I wanted to go, too. And it was the best , Mom.”
That’s what I was afraid of.
“I was really good about listening and doing exactly what Max said, and he only took me on the beginner hill. It was safe the whole time, I swear.”
“Alex, what you did is so wrong. ”
“I know.”
“It’s not just you who got into trouble. I yelled at Max, and I was so scared.”
“I know,” he says again, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “I just wanted it so bad.”
“You don’t get to lie to get things you want, even if you want them really badly,” I remind him. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but we are going to have a sit-down conversation.”
“A serious one?”
“Probably the most serious one we’ve ever had. And, yes, there will be consequences.”
“I know,” he repeats, hanging his head. “What do we do now?”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, my brain whirling.
“We both need to go and apologize to Max,” I decide. “Get your coat on, right now.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He rushes to the mudroom for his coat, and I pick mine up off the floor, then pull the front door open and stop short when I see Max sitting on the top step, his head in his hands.
“Whoa, he’s still here,” Alex says, coming to a stop next to me.
“I see that,” I reply. “Bubba, why don’t you go get your shower out of the way before dinner, okay? I’ll be in to check on you in a few minutes.”
“But, I have to?—”
“And you will. In a little bit.”
He nods and walks back inside. I pull the door closed behind me and sit next to Max, who hasn’t even looked up, even through my conversation with Alex.
We sit in silence for about two minutes until I can’t stand it anymore.
“You didn’t go.”
“Nope.”
His hands are in fists, dangling between his knees. The sun has set, and the snow is falling. Big, heavy flakes that make the air hushed as if it holds a secret.
Because maybe it does.
It’s cold enough to see my breath, but not enough to drive me inside.
“I owe you an apology,” I begin, “for yelling at you without listening.”
“Thank you.”
“Alex admitted that he lied to you.”
“He did,” he agrees, then sighs. “But I’m not going to throw a kid under the bus, Wills. I’m the adult, and I made the decision to take him after he asked. He said you wouldn’t mind, but I should have called.”
“Yeah.” I nod once. “You should have called. He’s been pushing my buttons lately. When ski season started, he asked for lessons. I just can’t, Max.”
I sniff at the tears that want to fall.
“I get it,” he replies. “But you need to remember that it wasn’t the mountain that killed Cary.”
“I know, but come on, Max.”
“If he’d been in a car accident, would you forbid Alex from riding in cars?”
I shake my head out of frustration. He’s right, I wouldn’t. “I know it’s not rational, but I can’t change it. The thought of him being on skis absolutely terrifies me. Maybe because I see so much of his dad in him, I’m worried that he’ll make a bad decision.”
“You can’t control that,” Max says. “But now that I know you don’t give your permission, I won’t take him again. You have my word on that.”
“I’m going to make him hate me,” I whisper. “I don’t want that.”
“If no skiing is all it takes, well, that seems pretty silly to me. He’ll be mad, but he will get over it.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. It’s the only physical connection between us. “I also need to apologize for being a raging bitch and throwing the whole not being his dad thing in your face.”
“That stung,” he admits but kisses my head. “I’m not trying to be his dad.”
“I know. And I’m ashamed that I said that. You didn’t deserve it.”
“I guess today was part of the learning curve.” He kisses my hair again, then moves his arm, urging me to back up so he can wrap his arms around me and hug me close. “There are going to be moments like this because it’s new territory for both of us.”
“You didn’t leave,” I whisper.
“I couldn’t go,” he replies softly. “But I couldn’t stay. What am I going to do with you, Wills?”
I smile. “I guess this. This was the right thing. I promise to keep the bitch reeled in.”
“You’re a mama bear, not a bitch,” he reminds me. “Speaking of, you should go check on him.”
“Will you stay? For dinner?”
“You check on him, I’ll cook.”
I raise my brows. “There’s a lasagna in the fridge. All you have to do is pop it in the oven.”
“Thank Christ.”
“It was so fun ,” Alex says for the fortieth time this evening. Rocky is at his feet, begging for a piece of Alex’s garlic bread.
Mom brought the puppy home about an hour ago while the lasagna was cooking. I think she wanted to check in and make sure I hadn’t killed Max with my bare hands.
Smart woman.
“Yes, I hear you had a lot of fun today. Which is good because you’re about to lose some privileges.”
“Oh, man.”
“You earned it,” I remind him sternly. “Now, go wash your hands and then take Rocky out one last time before bed.”
“Can Max tuck me in tonight?” Alex asks, surprising me. From the look on Max’s face, it surprised him, too.
“If he doesn’t mind.”
“Do as your mom asks, and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Awesome.” Alex runs off to the bathroom to wash his hands and brush his teeth, Rocky right on his heels. Getting the dog was the right decision. That pup is Alex’s shadow and his best friend.
It’s a good thing I can’t take the dog away. I’m mad enough to consider it.
“C’mon, Rocky,” Alex says, leading the dog to the back door. “Time to go potty.”
“I need a vacation,” I mutter as I set the last plate in the dishwasher.
“Where do you want to go?” Max asks, stepping to me and rubbing my shoulders from behind.
“I need to be careful what I say to you. You’re rich enough to take me anywhere.”
“So? Where would you go?”
I grin and lean back into him. “Are you afraid I’m with you for your money?”
“Horrified.” His voice is as dry as the desert wind. “Answer the question.”
“Somewhere warm,” I reply with a sigh. “I miss the sunshine. I would sit by the pool with a frosty drink and a book.”
“That’s it? That’s your fantasy?”
“Hey, it’s a damn good fantasy,” I reply with a laugh. “Throw in a massage and maybe a facial, and I’d be in heaven.”
“Max! I’m in bed!”
“I guess you have a job to do,” I say and turn around to wrap my arms around his neck, then press my face to his throat and hold on tight, just for a minute. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Staying.”
He squeezes me tight and then lets go to walk into Alex’s room. I start the dishwasher, wipe down the countertops, and then decide, screw it, and creep down the hall to listen to the conversation going on in my boy’s room.
“I didn’t mean to get anyone in trouble,” Alex says quietly.
“Are you sure about that? What did you think would happen when your mom found out where we went today?”
“I don’t know,” Alex replies. “I guess I didn’t think about it because I was too excited.”
“You have to think things through, Alex. There are always consequences, and you knew that your mom would have said no if we’d asked.”
“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “I’m sorry that she yelled at you.”
“Well, it probably won’t be the last time,” Max says, making me smile.
“Really? Why would you stick around if someone is gonna yell at you all the time?”
“I didn’t say it would happen all the time,” Max says, a chuckle in his voice. “But from time to time, there will be arguments. That’s just the way it is when you love someone. You and your mom argue, right?”
I’m stuck like stupid on “love someone. ”
“Yeah, we argue.”
“But you still want to be around her, right?”
“Well, sure. She’s my mom, and she’s the best ever.”
And, cue the tears. Damn these men and their sweetness!
“See? Just because we argue or yell doesn’t mean we leave, Alex.”
“My friend’s parents used to yell at each other all the time, and they got divorced. Are you going to get divorced?”
“We aren’t married,” Max reminds him. I cover my mouth, tears running unchecked over my fingers.
“It could be cool if you got married,” Alex suggests. “’Cause then you’d be here all the time, not just after school. And you could come to my school on Dad Day.”
“There’s a Dad Day?” Max asks.
“Yeah, Grandpa usually goes with me.”
Oh, my heart. How did I miss that my boy needs a father so badly? Was I just hopeful that my love would be enough for him?
“But you can’t marry her if you’re just gonna get divorced,” Alex says as if he’s thought this all through. “Because I don’t think it would be good if someone else leaves.”
“Who else left?” Max asks.
“Dad.”
I have to walk away from the door. I can’t hold the sobs back anymore, and I don’t want Alex to know that his sweet words made me cry.
By the time Max comes out to the living room fifteen minutes later, I’ve controlled the tears and turned on the TV to the home and garden station, watching a couple trying to find the perfect mountain cabin tour homes in North Carolina.
“That took a while,” I say when Max walks into the room, looking far more exhausted than he did when he left.
“He apologized,” he says as he sits next to me and takes my hand in his, kissing my knuckles. “And he’s a talker.”
“That he is.” I laugh, remembering the few minutes that I heard. But I don’t bring it up. It was a private conversation between Max and Alex. “I’m glad he apologized.”
“He was worried that because we had an argument, I wouldn’t want to come around anymore.”
“What did you tell him?” I turn toward him and plant my elbow on the back of the couch, leaning on it and watching Max’s handsome face as he thinks the past thirty minutes over.
“That it doesn’t work that way. People argue, but it doesn’t mean they leave.”
“How many stories did he make you read?”
“No stories.”
“I’m sorry, did you tuck Alexander Cary Monroe into bed?”
Max laughs and nods. “Yeah, but we had too much to talk about. It ate up all of story time.”
“Sounds like it was a serious conversation.”
“Pretty serious. Guy stuff,” he adds, making me grin. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you, and that would be unfortunate because I’ve grown rather fond of you.”
“Well, then, we can’t have that, can we?” I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Did Alex mention that Cary’s parents are coming to town next weekend?”
“He did, actually. Do they come often?”
“Every few months. They miss us. It’s always good to see them.”
“I think that’s great.”
“I’m nervous to tell them about you,” I admit. “Not because I think they’ll be angry or ugly about it. They’re not like that. I just don’t want… I don’t know.”
“You don’t want to hurt them,” Max finishes for me. “And that makes you a wonderful person, Willa Elizabeth.”
“You’re the second person to use my full name today.”
“Who was the other?”
“My mom.”
“Uh-oh, were you in trouble?”
“Maybe.” I giggle, the weight of the day finally rolling off my shoulders. “Or maybe she was just making sure to drive her point home.”
“Like me,” he says, leaning in to kiss my forehead, then down to my nose. “You’re the best there is, Willa Elizabeth.”
“You can just call me Wills.”