Chapter Nine
Cora held onto Adam, gently patting him on the back as he snuggled against her.
Ben and Addison were seated beside her. Henry’s doctor was sitting in a chair facing them.
The past twenty-four hours had been difficult with Cora having Adam and adjusting to being a new mom again while Henry had been very ill.
“Henry is responding well to the antibiotics since we put him on the medication yesterday. Fortunately, his condition is better than we might have predicted. He still cannot be on the transplant list at the moment but his lung capacity is holding and he is improving,” explained the doctor.
“If his fever abates and he recovers well enough, he can be put back on the heart transplant list. In fact, this means he will be placed at a higher priority.”
“Because his health is worse,” grimly stated Ben.
“Yes,” agreed the doctor. “We all knew this was coming. Henry is quite realistic about his chances. I hope that he might be able to go home in the next couple of days. He will need oxygen supplemented and he might need to have a wheelchair or walker provided, depending on his stamina and mobility. Henry cannot go home alone. He needs someone to keep an eye on his condition, ensure he gets his medications on time, and be there in case he has any further developments.”
“Henry is moving into my guest room. It was already decided,” mentioned Cora.
“Are you sure, Cora? You just had a baby,” questioned Addison in concern.
“Henry can come live with me,” offered Ben. “I have a guest room and I can take time off to look after him.”
“Both of you are welcome to come by the house and help, but Henry made the choice already,” calmly insisted Cora.
“We are old friends. He can stay with me as long as he wants to. Plus, I think the kids do him good. He enjoys knowing what is happening in Nick and Oliver’s lives.
I think it gives him motivation to keep going when the kids are nearby. ”
“I can also recommend some good home nursing programs,” inserted Henry’s doctor. “For when the time comes.”
“You think it’s going to come to that,” Ben’s tone of voice was disapproving.
“It may,” diplomatically replied the doctor. “Better to be prepared and not need it than need it and not be prepared.”
“We will take the suggestions and hope for the best,” quietly inserted Addison. “Is there anything else we can do for Henry?”
“Try to stay positive. Don’t be unrealistic, but keep his spirits up.
I find that can help as patients who become fatalistic or depressed tend to decline faster,” mentioned the doctor.
“Keep an eye on him for anything new. Try to limit his time around crowds. It may be time for him to start wearing a mask around visitors. If anyone is sick they shouldn’t be near him.
“It’s not easy. Henry has it the hardest of all. Let’s just try to help him the best we can,” the doctor kindly told them before getting up and leaving.
Addison checked her watch. “I am going to lunch with Lincoln, Nick, and Oliver. Do you want me to bring you anything when I come back, Cora?”
“I’m good,” Cora replied as she set her cheek against Adam, breathing in the new baby scent.
Ben watched Addison leave. “Are you sure you don’t want one of us to look after Henry? I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”
“You are welcome to come as often as you like to help out. The boys would be thrilled to bother you and Henry,” offered Cora.
“I suppose,” Ben reluctantly agreed. “But if it becomes too much, Henry can always move in with me.”
Cora was silent for a moment. “Do you think this is my fault?”
Ben frowned at her peculiar question. “What do you mean? How can Henry’s heart issues be your fault?”
“I was happy,” murmured Cora. “I was happy for just a little while and something terrible happened. That’s how my life has always been.
I’m afraid to be happy sometimes because every time I feel really good about myself, my life, the direction things seem to be going, then an awful event happens.
It’s like I have bad karma or I just shouldn’t be happy. ”
Ben didn’t seem to know what to say. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair.
“The day my parents died in the car accident, I had gotten a music award. I had tried so hard to get that award because I knew there was a scholarship where I could continue lessons and not have to have my parents pay. I loved music. I was so happy when I won. I had the paperwork in my hands and I was excited to tell them what I had achieved when my aunt came to school to tell me my parents had died,” explained Cora.
“Cora, life doesn’t work that way,” faintly said Ben.
“Then I got a scholarship just before my aunt was diagnosed with cancer. I achieved honors when she died. When I met Henry, I was afraid to be happy. Scared to find joy, so I made sure I didn’t.
It messed up our friendship. I messed up so much.
Sometimes, I think about how life could have been so different if I had made the better choice.
I met Nate and he was a force of nature.
He convinced me nothing could go wrong, that I could be happy.
I believed that lie for a little while, but it was a lie.
I was so happy marrying him and Nate made sure I regretted so much,” murmured Cora as she pressed a kiss to Adam’s fuzzy hair.
“I was pleased when Nick was born. Nate was over the moon, the proud papa to everyone. But he hated the mess, the noise, everything about babies. It was necessary to have an heir and a spare. I found out he was cheating on me. I couldn’t say anything.
He would have been angry. I wasn’t even happy for Oliver.
I loved him, I loved being pregnant and having him, but I pushed down the happiness to make sure nothing bad happened.
Every achievement my boys have had, I smiled and cheered but pushed down the happiness for fear.
I have been afraid for so long. Now Nate is gone and I have a beautiful house to make my home.
I have a beautiful baby. I was making all these wonderful plans, feeling so secure… ” Cora’s voice trailed off.
“You know it’s not your fault. You know that you can be happy without bad things happening,” Ben tried to reassure her.
Cora sniffed, blinking back tears. “I was joyful and now Henry is horribly unwell. Why can’t I just be happy?”
Ben slowly reached out, drawing Cora into his arms for an awkward hug while careful of the baby.
“You know that you can be happy. You can have good things happen and enjoy them. There is no curse on you, or bad karma. It’s just life.
Cora, you have had a tough time, a really bad time.
Things are going to turn around and you will be able to find your happiness, I promise. ”
Cora had a sad smile. Life had taught her differently. “I was pleased Henry had come back. I missed him.”
“Cora, you aren’t responsible for Henry’s condition. He had it before he ever came home from Asia,” reasoned Ben.
“I messed up his life, just like I messed up my own,” she said softly, focusing on the memories of college and the smiling, gentle, young man she used to know.
“Henry liked me. He was sweet on me and I knew it. I was afraid to return his affections because I felt like I would ruin everything. I knew he and I could be happy but instead I let myself be wooed by Nate. Oh, I thought I loved Nate, but part of me wonders if I didn’t choose Nate because subconsciously I knew I wouldn’t be happy?
Did I see the warning signs and ignore them?
Was I punishing myself? I don’t know. I ruined both our lives. ”
“So you’re the girl,” murmured Ben to himself but Cora heard the words.
“What do you mean, I’m the girl?” asked Cora softly, backing up so she could see the guilty flush on Ben’s cheeks.
“I shouldn’t say. Henry said it in confidence,” muttered Ben.
“Ben,” Cora put just enough gentleness while being stern in her voice. She had managed to perfect the tone with Oliver’s sometimes mildly defiant moods when they came. “Tell me.”
Ben, the big softy that he was, sighed. “I was confiding my troubles with Kitty to Henry at Christmas and he gave me some good advice. He also might have told me that he really once liked this girl but she married someone else. I was just thinking it could be you.”
It was her, Cora knew. She had known all along that Henry really liked her. She was pretty certain he still did. Yet Cora also knew he would do nothing about his feelings out of respect for their friendship and the fact that she had been his brother’s wife.
It was a bit weird, wasn’t it? Wishing she had married one brother over the other, Cora reflected. But did she love Henry?
In a quiet, safe way, she did. Was that love or just friendship? Cora didn’t know. Maybe sometimes love could be both.
“You can’t tell him I told you,” Ben rushed to say. “I don’t want to embarrass him.”
“It’s nothing I didn’t already know,” murmured Cora. She gave Ben a reassuring smile and pat on the arm. “I won’t say anything.”
“Good,” responded a relieved Ben.
Adam began to fuss so Cora turned her attention to him.
“I’m going to go visit with Henry. If he’s awake, do you want me to give you a video call so you can show off the baby to him?” asked Ben.
“Sure,” said Cora with a distracted smile. “I think Henry would like that.”
Ben gave her a smile as he left the room, heading out to visit Henry. It didn’t take him long to get to Henry’s floor. As he approached the room, he could hear voices.
“I still want to thank you. If you hadn’t been there, things might have turned out very differently,” said a female’s voice.
“I took a rest break right on top of you. Took me probably twenty minutes before I saw your hand,” came Henry’s rueful reply. His throat was still sore so his words were raspy. He had a tired smile as he saw Ben. “Join the party.”