11. Xander
Xander
Iknew the second Andrie fell asleep, going slack in my arms, but continued my low teasing with Vik for a while longer, cherishing my girl in my arms and my brother at my side.
“You look like you’re going to burst,” Vik murmured, catching my mood.
“If you’d have told me, even six months ago, that I’d be sitting here right now, I would’ve called bullshit,” I said just as quietly. “I’d all but given up hope. Not for y’all, but for me. It’s like everything I’ve ever hoped for is coming true.”
“You still have to get her on board,” Vik cautioned, but his words were light. “You’re getting under her defenses, but you still have a long way to go to get her to forget her promise to—”
I cut him off. “We’ll get there. After all, she fell in love with him in weeks. I have as long as she needs to fall in love with me, too.”
He snorted. “Yeah, because you’re such a patient person. The fact you took her to bed last night—and haven’t set her down since you swept her into your arms, Romeo—tells me you have all the patience in the world.”
Not able to come up with a reply that didn’t start with, “I know …” I flipped him off before carefully rising, cradling Andrie gently in my arms.
“Should I ask if you’re staying here or coming back to my house tonight?” he asked innocently, getting up to grab the door for me.
Ignoring him, I strolled down the hall and into the bedroom.
Demi might have been forced to become a patient person, able to wait nearly a decade until the timing fell into place, but I was learning Xander Hawkings might just be a bit of a stream roller.
I could only hope Andrie could love this new version of me as much as Alex had fallen in love with her Demi.
I was the first to wake the next day, my face buried in Andrie’s long black hair.
How was it she still felt the same in my arms yet different at the same time?
Her body, like mine, had matured over the years.
Her girlish figure had softened into womanly curves instead of sharp angles, but she still felt like she belonged there right next to my heart.
I cuddled her closer, placing a kiss on top of her head. I’d always found solace in her arms, and today was no different. When I was with her like this, nothing seemed impossible.
Her nose wrinkled adorably as she started to wake, fighting for every last bit of sleep she could get, before one brown eye opened in a bleary slit then closed again.
“Is it morning?” she asked, her voice muffled as she burrowed into my chest.
“Yes, sweetheart. But it’s Sunday. You can go back to sleep if you want.
” I kept my voice low. She’d never liked mornings and was often half-awake for the first hour or better.
Though, she’d been pretty darn wide-eyed yesterday.
I wondered if that was due to waking up with me or the phone call she’d gotten.
Groaning, she stretched languidly, still mostly on top of me. “Easy,” I said, catching her before she rubbed against my hard erection. “Or you’re going to get more than you bargained for first thing in the morning.”
She paused, considering my words for several long seconds, before her eye opened again, looking slightly more alert.
Following my gaze, she trailed down to look at the tented sheet a few inches from her bent knee.
“Oh.” Instead of blushing, as I’d expected of this prim-and-proper version of my Alex, she almost looked like the mischievous imp she’d been in Russia, staring without pretense.
“You keep staring, sweetheart, and I’m going to forget my promise to myself not to take advantage of being in your bed and take you hard and fast right here,” I rumbled as my cock grew under her gaze.
The threat took time to register, but she reluctantly turned her attention back to my face, still looking like she was debating her choices.
I growled, which seemed to break her out of her thoughts. “What are you doing here anyway?” she asked, sitting up in bed.
“When I brought you in to put you to bed, you wouldn’t turn me loose, so I figured I could sleep here just as easy as in Vik’s spare room,” I lied without blinking an eye.
She flushed, but before she could say anything, I asked, “Do you have plans today?” Playing dirty, I slid out of bed, wearing nothing but my boxers, and stood, letting her eyes roam over me as I stretched.
“Umm … no, I don’t have anything going on today,” she said finally, her eyes never making it to my face. If I had to get her lust-drunk first in order to make her fall in love with me, I’d use every tool in my arsenal and not feel a sliver of guilt.
“Good. I was hoping to commandeer you to show me around the city. You know, the best places to eat, common landmarks, important places to know.”
“And Vik can’t do it?” she asked in disbelief, but I saw the small smile she was trying to hide.
“You’re prettier to look at,” I said, not missing a beat.
“Despite what happened last night, I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” Andrie warned, her eyes turning serious. “Why are you here?”
I knew what she meant and decided not to play dumb.
“Because something about you calls to me so strongly that I couldn’t dream of ignoring it.
Very little in my life has been good, and I learned early that when life gives you any ounce of goodness, you grasp it quickly and hold onto it as strongly as you can.
Because it’s more precious than fucking gold.
You don’t want a boyfriend; I’ll respect it.
” Or attempt to for as long as I was able to hold myself back.
I didn’t hold much hope it would last long.
“But don’t lie to me or yourself either, Andrie.
Because this ‘thing’ isn’t one-sided. And you’re not stupid enough to let it go, either.
You want to stay loyal to a memory, I understand, more than almost anyone else can because you aren’t the only one to lose someone you care about.
Maybe that’s why we feel it—we understand each other.
And this”—I motioned between us— “doesn’t have to be sexual. ”
She scoffed and even I couldn’t resist smirking.
“Okay, not only sex. My point is, people come in and out of our lives for a reason. Whatever else you can say about your man, the aftermath brought you a hell of a lot of sadness. Maybe my purpose is to restore some of the fun. We only have one life, babe. And wouldn’t those who are gone want us to live it to the fullest—not just for ourselves but for them, too? ”
I waited for a beat, hating that I’d gone all philosophical, then continued with more humor, “So, to rephrase: You owe me for having me sleep in your bed twice without feeding me. After all, those aren’t Texan manners.
” I shook my head in mock disappointment.
“In trade for you not making me breakfast, I’ll let you show me around instead.
” I threw my hands up, dramatically pointing at my cock, glaring at it. “No sex for you.”
Andrie laughed, sounding a little stunned at my ridiculous antics, but she was worth my pride. “I guess I can spare a few hours.”
Relieved at her easy acceptance, I closed the distance between us, tipping her head up to give her a kiss.
I’d intended to keep our interaction light but quickly lost myself in her, almost forgetting my promise less than a minute after I’d made it.
If I weren’t careful, I’d ruin what little headway I’d made. Still …
By the time I pulled back, her lips were red and swollen and her eyes hazy.
“I’ll give you some time to get ready,” I said, reluctant to leave but knowing I needed to make a quick retreat. I was already pushing my way into her space, literally and figuratively, and I didn’t want to end up back into bed too soon for fear of scaring her to the point of pushing me away.
Because I didn’t have a vehicle besides my motorcycle—something I knew Andrie wouldn’t dream of riding, though Alex would have jumped at the chance—we took Andrie’s sensible sedan.
Even with the seat all the way back, I felt closed in.
In line with her sensible tan pants and light blue blouse, the car never went above the posted speed limit.
Normally, I’d be volunteering to get out and push if it would get us where we were going faster, but because it gave me more time in her company, I was content to sit back and watch the world crawl by.
“Was there anywhere in particular you wanted to see?” she asked once we’d gotten on the expressway, as if just realizing she didn’t have a destination in mind.
I shrugged. The request had been a spur-of-the-moment thought, a reason to be with her for a few more hours at least. “Other than yours and Vik’s houses, the bar, and the club’s headquarters, I haven’t seen much of the city.
Not enough to really feel like I know where anything is,” I said sheepishly.
“You know, closest grocery store, best places to eat, backways around traffic, that sort of thing.”
She nodded animatedly. “I totally understand. I’ve been here for years, and I still find myself turned around sometimes.
I mean, not that the city is even a fraction as big as Houston or even San Antonio, but we’re still sprawled out enough that I lose track of where I am in relation to other places every once in a while. ”
I grunted, not about to admit I’d reviewed enough aerial photos and map overlays of the city, with key land markers noted, that I’d always know exactly where I was.
But I hadn’t lied about the restaurants and the like.
Besides, I wanted to see Andrie in her environment.
What places did she like? Who did she go out of her way to see?
Would she point out movie theaters and malls or favor the zoo and local parks?
Vik hadn’t been wrong in pointing out that we’d all changed. And while my love for this woman was as strong as it had been all those years ago, I wasn’t blind to the fact that I needed to allow my view of her to move past the girl I knew and get to know the woman next to me.
Looking down, Andrie noted the time on the car’s dashboard. “Well, it’s early enough to start with the farmer’s market. There’s a great one just a few miles from here.”
We spent the morning at the farmer’s market, and then, after passing by the grocery store, home improvement, and other basic need-to-knows, I cajoled her into going to the aquarium instead of an art museum.
Keeping the banter between us light and casual, I watched throughout the day as Andrie forgot to be prim and proper and fell into the knowledge-thirsty woman I’d known.
She watched two manatees —rescues from Florida currently being rehabilitated with the hope of releasing them back after they recovered—with childlike wonder and peppered an employee with questions about boat safety and habitat preservation before pulling me to another part of the aquarium that housed jellyfish, spending as much time watching them as she had the mammals.
Unable to stop myself, I asked if she minded going to the zoo next, offering a story about never living it down with the guys if they found out I wanted to go.
Her smile at my request had my heart stuttering.
It amazed me just how much Alex was left in Andrie—when she forgot to keep her locked away.
I imagined it was easy in her everyday …
same routine, same requirements for emotion.
Her patients weren’t talking about rainbows and unicorns, after all, so Andrie the psychiatrist was needed not just for them but for herself as well.
But days like this, out of her normal environment, it was clear the other side of her wanted to be set free.
The entire day, I kept my hand in hers as we walked.
I was thrilled when, after her initial surprise and hesitation, she’d accepted and even reached for mine by the time we’d gotten to the zoo.
We’d been the center of quite a few stares, me looking like I’d just stepped off the set as an extra for Sons of Anarchy in my black jeans, boots, black t-shirt, and leather vest with the Iron Wraiths logo on the back, and her looking like a college professor.
But she ignored the attention and whispers after I joked I needed a keeper or my biker ass would likely be kicked out—she knew I wasn’t far off.
At the zoo, Andrie, even more beautiful when she forgot restraint, actually pulled me over to the tiger exhibit when she saw the animal preparing to play in the water, too excited to wait on my slower pace.
Enthralled in watching her light up as she studied every plaque and poster and the way she’d carefully look for each and every animal in their exhibit, I found I was having fun just watching the world through her eyes.
She even giggled—a sound that still played in my dreams—when I bought her a stuffed tiger at the gift shop on our way out. I’d just helped her into the driver’s seat and was walking around the vehicle, trying to think of what to offer to do next, when a text came through from Vik.
VIK: WHERE ARE YOU?
ME: WITH ANDRIE. DO YOU NEED ME?
VIK: LOCATION?
I told him, wondering if something was wrong, when his reply came through.
VIK: YOU’LL WANT TO GO OUT FOR ICE CREAM NEXT. brING ME BACK A TUB OF ROCKY ROAD.
I smiled, pocketing my phone. “So, what’s the best place to get an ice cream cone around here?” I asked as I opened my door and got inside.
Andrie’s smile, which had gotten more and more carefree throughout the day, widened.
“Let me introduce you to the best ice cream in the state,” she said, putting the car into gear. I didn’t care about the ice cream or the cryptic message orchestrating the move. I had my girl, smiling, happy, and all to myself. It was as close to heaven as I’d ever get on earth.