23. Xander
Xander
It was late into the night before I’d finished up being grilled by Lessia, Juniper, and Matteo about everything from my mother’s known favorite locales to her choice of seating, food, and even men.
I wasn’t exactly sure what Lessia was planning, but it was clear she dived deep when it came to researching her targets.
I knew I should feel something at the thought of knowing my mother’s days were numbered and that I would help facilitate her demise, but I only felt a profound pang of loss.
Not for her, but for what she should have represented.
Mothers were supposed to love and support their children unconditionally, shielding them from the evils of the world.
Instead, my mother was the predator in the dark.
By her order, families were broken forever, children’s innocence were lost, and women’s cries were as familiar to me as a lullaby.
I had no illusions, even as a child, that if I didn’t meet my mother’s expectations, she’d not hesitate to sell me into the world she controlled.
Killing me would have been a kindness, and she didn’t have an ounce of that in her.
Besides, as she’d boasted about more than once, there was no use in throwing away money.
It wasn’t until I was older—and became dangerous—that I’d known if I’d taken a wrong step she’d order my death.
By then, leaving me alive would have been a risk she'd known better than to take.
I pulled my thoughts back to the present.
Even though I was heartsick, the only point of warmth was the MC members who were becoming my new family.
Vik had stayed with Andrie, knowing I wouldn’t settle without him looking out for her.
But the rest of them had made a point to come to the clubhouse, each offering some lame excuse but clearly making sure I didn’t need anything and had their support if I did.
Charge had come after closing down the gym he managed, his sister Bailey in tow, claimed he needed something from his room, but I noticed he never left the main room.
Wyck, Shade, and Whisp sat a few tables down, pretending to enjoy a beer, but they spent more time shooting me sympathetic looks when they thought no one was looking.
Jasper called from the hospital, asking me to let him know if Andrie needed any more follow up from her wound—something we’d already talked about.
Savage, who’d come in with Chinese takeout at some point for everyone, had driven me home, since Vik had taken his truck when he’d left with Andrie hours ago. As we drove, he kept shooting me looks.
“Just spit it out,” I growled, tired beyond measure and out of patience.
“Fucking shit, man.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “That’s all.”
I felt the corner of my mouth lift, a small thread of humor breaking through.
Fucking shit was right. Providing intel that would lead to my mother’s demise was shit.
The fact she was the kind of person who was coded for death was shit, and that she had not only betrayed me once—at Andrie’s expense—but was doing so again, even if she was unaware of it, was fucking shit.
“Yeah.” I kicked my legs out as far as the seat would allow, trying to relax my tight muscles.
“You gonna be okay?”
I was grateful he didn’t ask if I was okay. “As long as I have her, I will be,” I admitted before I could snap my mouth shut.
Thankfully, Savage didn’t tease me, likely realizing I wasn’t kidding. “Yeah. I get that.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You got a girl?”
Snorting, he shook his head. “I don’t get you that much, dude. But I see that kind of thing between Lessia and her man and Matteo and G.”
“I still have a ways to go before Andrie catches up.”
Shrugging, he turned at a light, looking unconcerned. “She’s getting there. It’s just a matter of time before you two are on the same page. Likely faster than either of you realize.”
“Can I ask you something?” I asked before I could change my mind.
The silent look of expectation told me I could ask, but he might not answer. “The MC. And … the other stuff. How does it all work? I mean, most operatives have strict lines of who they can and can’t eliminate. Yet y’all have been right there with us, busting knees and gutting pedophiles.”
The cold, assessing gaze Savage gifted me showed me, for the first time, the assassin beneath the practical joker biker fa?ade.
I returned his stare, letting him see my curiosity wasn’t nefarious, but it wasn’t idle either.
If I was going to be a true brother to the club, I needed to know more about how everything fit together.
“When the whole club was here, it was easier,” he said slowly after a minute of contemplation.
“We participated to maintain our cover, of course, but rarely, if ever, did we ever have to carry out a hit on anyone who wasn’t coded ahead of time.
After all, it’s not like we’re roughing up choir boys, and hell, we’re all in this life because we know some people aren’t worth the air they breathe, and we don’t have a problem setting things to rights.
But now, let’s just say we needed to prevent a power suck.
And we did get the green light, even if it was in an atypical way.
You were on the conference call when Grimm got the directive to keep the streets in line.
Our pipeline, bringing in those who need to come into the country under the radar, requires us to keep control of this territory.
Even then, most of the men we’ve been … interviewing …
were already on a list Grimm keeps with their exploits.
Whether it makes sense or not in person, Grimm is well aware of who the truly dangerous child predators are and what men are the worst of the worst when it comes to raping and torturing women.
And none of us mind slipping our leash. But we don’t cut down everyone who runs across our path, nor do we allow ourselves or another in our club to kill as a personal vendetta. At least, not in the open.”
“Is that why Lessia vetoed Vik and I?” I asked, my thoughts turning back to Irina.
Savage smirked, but it was without humor.
“Partly. But it was also to stop you two from going head-to-head with Matteo over it. Neither of you is trained, though Vik has picked up enough to think he could do it. But Matteo wouldn’t allow anyone less than a well-trained operative to take any mission.
Especially one this high profile. And Lessia’s primary focus is to keep you two on good terms with the club.
With you being new and all, I think she’s worried you’re going to push the wrong button at the wrong time.
If she took the mission, she knows you’ll leave her to it, even if you’re unhappy about it.
If any of the rest were assigned this one, you and Vik might go rogue.
With her on it, you’ll back down. You both owe her too much. ”
I grunted, hating that he might be right.
Or rather, that Lessia had us pegged. But Savage didn’t know it wasn’t only Lessia who would have stopped Vik and me; it was Andrie.
As much as every fiber in my being wished I could avenge her that way, I knew she wouldn’t want me to.
Andrie would rather Vik and I stay here, safe, than risk ourselves after everything we’d sacrificed these last ten years.
I was surprised to see Andrie’s lights on when Savage pulled to a stop. Before I could get out of the car, she’d yanked her front door open and practically ran down the steps. Vik stood on the porch behind her, arms crossed and jaw tight. Not a good sign. I just wasn’t sure who he was mad at.
Andrie jerked to a stop in front of me, not so much as glancing at Savage’s retreating car. “We need to talk.”