Chapter 13 #2
“I’ll text you details tomorrow.” Jen slings her purse over her shoulder, studying me. “You don’t mind, do you? I know you have that guy in your life now.”
I squirm, suddenly uncomfortable. I’m not prepared to talk about Drew with anyone yet. “I can stand to be away from him for a few hours.” Maybe.
“Are you sure?” Her gentle voice and twinkling eyes tell me she’s teasing, but I also wonder if she’s worried I’ll bail on her for a guy, which I have no plans in doing. Drew and I don’t need to spend every waking moment together.
Though sometimes it sure feels like we do. Being away from him is hard. Silly, considering he’s been back in my life for only a matter of days, but we share such an intense connection, it’s hard to ignore it.
“By the dreamy look on your face, I’m going to guess this guy must be pretty special.” Jen nudges me. “You can tell me all about him tomorrow night.”
“Yeah,” I agree with a laugh, but I doubt I will.
What I share with Drew is still a little too special to blab about with my new friend.
Drew
I watch Fable exit the restaurant. She’s with the same girl who worked with her the night of Logan’s party. Tall, with dark hair and olive skin, she’s the complete opposite of Fable in every way. It’s sort of funny, watching them talk animatedly with each other. A yin to each other’s yang.
My heart squeezes in my chest when I see Fable laugh and shake her head. She looks happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen her. I’d like to think I’m responsible for some of that happiness.
I know she’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been.
She waves goodbye to her friend and walks across the parking lot toward my truck.
I’m struck anew by how beautiful she is, her smile growing on her face as she comes closer.
She’s wearing those damn shorts again, the ones that are way too short, and this time she’s added black tights to the mix.
They make her legs look incredibly long.
And incredibly hot.
Pushing away from the side of the truck, I meet her halfway, slipping my arms around her and pulling her in for a quick kiss. She’s warm to my cold since I’ve been standing outside for the last ten minutes, and she brushes her nose against mine before she pulls away. “You’re freezing,” she murmurs.
Her voice alone warms me up and I open the truck door for her without a word, pushing her inside by cupping her backside, making her squeal.
I slam the door and round the truck, eager to take her back to my place, though I have no idea where she wants to go.
She probably has to get home. She has responsibilities, after all.
And I have none, as my shrink so kindly reminded me.
“Where to?” I ask casually once I slip behind the wheel.
“I should probably go home.” She won’t meet my gaze, and I wonder why.
“No problem.” I throw the truck into gear and pull out of the parking lot, turning onto the street. “Busy night?”
“Exhausting. Thank God I’m off tomorrow.”
“We should do something.” I don’t have school and she doesn’t work. We could stay in bed all day and I’d be perfectly content.
“Um, about tomorrow.” She sounds hesitant. Even a little nervous. “My friend Jen, the girl I work with? She asked if we could hang out together tomorrow night. Go to dinner and have drinks. Stuff like that. You don’t care, do you?”
I care a lot. I’d rather she never left my side, but I’m being completely unrealistic. And also thinking like a jealous ass. “I don’t mind. I mean, I’m not your keeper.”
She’s watching me. I can feel her eyes on me though I face straight ahead. “It’ll only be for a few hours. I get the sense Jen doesn’t have many friends. I don’t either. It’s nice to find one who doesn’t think I’m out to fuck her boyfriend behind her back.”
I have to look at her now, shocked at the harsh way she just spoke. “Did you used to do that? Fuck other girls’ boyfriends behind their backs?”
She shoots me an icy stare. “No.” A sigh escapes her.
“Fine. I made one mistake. Only because he lied to me and said he didn’t have a girlfriend.
I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior.
Gorgeous. Popular. Played on the football team, sort of like a weak copy of you.
We went out on a few dates. He was always sneaking me around, never taking me out in public or with his friends, but I didn’t care. I was too far gone over him.”
This story is going in a bad direction. I can feel it. “A weak copy of me?” What, does she have a pattern? A type she prefers? Is she saying I fall under that type?
“You know what I mean.” She waves a hand.
“He was my first. I gave up my V card to him because I was stupid, thinking it would bring us closer and he would fall totally in love with me. Then I find out he has a girlfriend, right after I had sex with him. He was totally using me because she wouldn’t mess around with him, so he ran out and found the first dumb girl who would. ”
I both feel sorry for her and infuriated with her that she would do something so careless. “So, what, you were fifteen when you were first with that guy?”
“Yeah.”
“How many guys have you been with, Fable?” Okay, now I totally sound like the jealous asshole boyfriend. I don’t want to be that guy. I know she needs to get her past off her chest and it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t know her then. We were both different people then.
But knowing about her past does hurt. I can’t deny it.
“You’re going to automatically assume the number is outrageous, aren’t you? I really didn’t expect you to pass judgment on me like everyone else in my life.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “You disappoint me, Drew. I figured you were better than that.”
Fuck. How do I respond? I’ve blown it completely. Now she’s pissed. I can practically see the steam rising out of her ears. She refuses to look at me, too. Instead she chooses to stare straight ahead for the rest of the ride to her apartment, her jaw hard, her eyes narrowed.
From happy to angry in a matter of minutes, that’s what I just did to her.
And why? Because I’m feeling a little possessive of her time and I want her to spend it all with me?
Am I that insecure? I’ve never had a real girlfriend before.
I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend. Twenty-freaking-one years old and I’m a complete, clueless idiot when it comes to relationships and how to make them work.
I pull into the parking lot of her apartment complex and her hand is already on the door handle. She looks ready to leap out of the vehicle while it’s still in motion, she wants to get away from me that badly. “Fable, wait.”
Hitting the brakes, I wait for her to respond, but she doesn’t. Her back is to me, her body poised to take flight and escape right out the door. I’ve hurt her and I hate that.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice soft. “I didn’t mean to pass judgment on you. I have no right to do so. You accept all my faults, so it’s the least I can do for you.”
She turns to glare at me. “Because I accept your faults, you’ll accept mine?
Is that all this is? If so, I need more from you, Drew.
This isn’t some tit-for-tat sort of deal.
I need your trust. I need you to believe that I want to be with you and only you.
And my past can’t shade our present or our future.
My past has always followed me, and you know what sucks?
Most of the stories out there are completely untrue.
I make a few wrong steps, a few bad mistakes, and it turns into me ruling a multiyear slutdom over all the guys.
Through high school, outside of high school … ”
I remain quiet, absorbing her words. She’s right. I can’t let her past bother me or darken our future. If I do, I’m just setting us up to fail.
“I’m not perfect,” she murmurs. “No one is. But I’m not going to pay for my mistakes every time you get mad at me or jealous. Going out with Jen tomorrow night isn’t about me trying to flirt with other guys or anything like that.”
“I never said it was.”
Her eyes soften the slightest bit. “So what’s the problem? Why are you acting like this?”
“I’m not good at this sort of thing. I’m fucking it all up and I don’t know why.” I tap my fingers against the edge of the steering wheel, unsure of what to say next, feeling edgy as hell.
She holds all the cards in this argument right now. I’m scared she’s going to say I’m not worth the trouble.
“Using that as an excuse isn’t going to fly forever, you know. After a while, it’ll just get old.”
“What are we doing, Fable?” I ask incredulously.
She shrugs. “Having our first fight as a couple?”
I want to laugh, but I don’t. “I mean this. Us. What’s going on between us?”
“If you have to ask, that scares me,” she answers warily.
“Are we really a couple? Are we in a relationship? We haven’t defined it yet.”
“Do we need to? Can’t we just take it day by day?” She turns away from me and stares out the window. “I’m tired. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now.”
Panic rises within me. “But …”
“I think I want to be alone. I’m super tired and the last few days have been sorta overwhelming.” She opens the door and climbs out of my truck, bending over so she can meet my gaze through the still-open door. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”
It feels like she’s leaving me for good. My throat’s dry and I can hardly force any words out, I’m so worried this is it. With my luck, I’ll never see her again. “Yeah,” I croak before she slams the door. “Call me.”
She offers me a tiny smile before she lets the door close. And then she turns and walks away.
Taking my heart with her.