Chapter 18
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in one’s own sunshine.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Drew
“So she’s moved in with you.”
“It’s temporary,” I’m quick to tell Dr. Harris. I know what she’s thinking. What everyone will think, though it’s not as if I know a ton of people. We’re moving too fast, Fable and I.
But it’s been less than a week since her mom abandoned her and Owen.
I just can’t kick her out. They have nowhere to go.
Besides, I like having Fable living with me.
Owen and I have come to a somewhat uneasy truce.
I know he’s not my biggest fan, but the kid is polite, keeps his room clean, and doesn’t give me any trouble. Not that I believed he would.
He’s a good kid. Fable’s raised him right.
Doc is tapping away at her iPad. Probably noting how worried she is that I’m living with Fable. “Are you all getting along?”
“For the most part.” I can’t lie to her. “There was tension at first, most of it coming from Owen. He’s hurt that their mom did this.”
“Understandable.”
“He blamed Fable at first.”
“Also understandable. We sometimes look to put the blame on others because we don’t want to believe the truth.” She looks at me pointedly. “We also tend to blame ourselves.”
I know all about that. I get it. “They’ve hashed stuff out, but it’s still a little tense between them.
So that means it’s a little tense between Owen and me.
But overall, he’s a nice kid. I feel bad for him.
” I remember being a teen. My entire world changed in the blink of an eye.
I lost all my innocence, my childhood forever.
This betrayal by his mother has taken Owen’s childhood away from him for good.
“Has the mother resurfaced at all?”
“Fable finally received a text from her a few days ago.” And it had infuriated her. Only two sentences, it sent Fable into a funk that had her stewing the rest of the night.
I’m so sorry. Someday I hope you’ll understand.
Fable deleted it immediately, calling her mom every horrific name she could think of.
“Your relationship is already a delicate one. Doesn’t this situation put unnecessary stress on the two of you?”
“If we can get through this, we can get through anything, don’t you think?”
Dr. Harris offers me a kind smile. “One would think. Such a momentous move while in the early stages of your commitment to each other can also turn everything sour. Are you afraid of that? Of losing her after finally getting her back?”
I’m always afraid of losing Fable. The fear stays in the back of my mind 24/7. Most of the time I push it aside and focus on the present day.
“She needs me.”
“And you need her, don’t you?”
“I do.” I take a deep breath. “You won’t want to hear this, but I’d prefer if they lived with me. I like having her there. We don’t spend every waking moment together since she’s working full time lately and I’m in school, but I like …” My voice trails off.
“You like what?” Dr. Harris asks.
“I like having her in my bed every night. Waking up with her every morning. Just knowing she’s with me gives me a sense of peace I can’t remember ever having in my life.” I rub my thumb against my knee. “I don’t want her to leave.”
“She will eventually. It sounds to me like Fable is a very independent person, right?”
“Yeah.” I don’t want to talk about her any longer. I don’t want to think about her leaving me, even if it is just to live on her own.
As if she can sense me closing up, my shrink changes the subject.
“Have you heard from your dad?”
“He called right before I came inside. I didn’t answer.” I feel guilty for sending him straight to voice mail but I can’t deal with another rant. And that’s all he does when he calls.
Rants about Adele and how much she wronged him. How she humiliated him among their friends and his colleagues. He’s the laughingstock of the country club, she’s flaunting her young piece all over town. On and on it goes.
I’m over it. I’ll be there for him, but he still hasn’t filed divorce papers. I know deep down inside he’s waiting for her to come crawling back and beg for his forgiveness. Fool that he is for her, he’ll probably take Adele back.
I can hardly stomach the thought.
“He still doesn’t know?”
She’s referring to Adele and me. I shake my head.
“So she hasn’t said anything?”
“Not that I know of.” Cold fear grips my gut at the mere thought.
“Have you ever considered beating her to the punch?” When I frown, Dr. Harris continues. “Telling your dad before she does?”
“No way.” I shake my head. “I could never work up the nerve to tell him that.”
“It might be easier coming from you. Being honest with your father might take an incredible load off your chest. If he hears it from Adele first, she’s won. You’ve allowed her the chance to tell him, to make up whatever story she needs to tell to make herself look better.”
I study her, letting her words sink in. She has a point. I’m way too chickenshit to broach the subject with him, though. “I’ll consider telling him first,” I say only to appease her.
She smiles. “I’m glad.”
The moment I leave Dr. Harris’s office I check my phone. Two missed calls from my dad and one from Fable. I call her first.
“You’ll never believe what happened.” She sounds excited. Happy.
“What?”
“I think I found the perfect apartment. Oh my God, Drew, it’s so nice!
Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, at a newer complex.
The rent’s reasonable and the deposit isn’t too outrageous.
I went and checked it out with Jen and it’s beautiful.
They already ran a credit check on me and said they’d hold the apartment for me, but I have to come up with the deposit by Friday. ”
Shit. She’s leaving me. “Where’s it located?” If it’s in a bad part of town, I refuse to let her move there.
“Here’s what’s even better about the apartment.
It’s not too far from your place. Like about two miles away, tops.
On the other side of the shopping center with the grocery store you like to go to.
” She laughs. “I don’t have any furniture, but I don’t care.
We’ll figure something out. I can shop the Goodwill. ”
“Let me help you,” I say automatically because I can’t not make the offer.
“No,” she says softly. “You’ve helped me enough already. The money I’m making at The District is outrageous. The tips have been amazing. That’s what I’m going to use for the deposit to secure the apartment. I have some tip money stashed at your place, but not enough.”
“You don’t deposit your tips in the bank?”
“No. It’s mostly all ones and fives. I like to keep my cash in the pocket of an old sweater. Did you know I had almost five hundred dollars stashed in that sweater in my closet when my mom went through the house? Thank God they didn’t find it.”
She’s happy she found a place and I should be, too, but I’m not. I don’t want her to leave. How can I tell her that without sound cloying or overbearing? “Are you going to my place now?”
“In a little bit. I have to go by and pick up my check. Then Jen will drop me off. Where are you?”
“Headed home,” I say as I walk toward where I parked my truck.
“Oh, good. Owen should be there. He just called me and said he was being dropped off.”
“Is moving going to change where he goes to school?”
She sighs. “Yeah. He doesn’t mind, though. Says he wants a change, though he’ll miss his best friend. I promised him they could get together whenever he wants.”
“It’ll work out,” I reassure her.
“I hope so. I’ll see you soon, okay?” She hangs up before I can tell her I love her and I stare at my phone’s screen, wishing I had said the words.
Being with Fable has turned me into a complete sap.
My phone immediately starts ringing again. This time it’s my dad. I answer it, steeling myself for the inevitable spew of words over his hatred for his wife. “Hey, Dad.”
“Where’s Adele? Have you seen her?”
I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, causing someone passing by to bump into me. “Why would I see her? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. We … talked this morning. Then we started to argue and she brought you up. Said she needed to see you and took off in my fucking Jag. Have you seen her? Did she come there?”
“Of course I haven’t seen her.” Dread creeps over me, making my head spin. “Why would she want to come see me?”
“I haven’t a clue. She said she had something to tell you.
” He pauses. “Don’t turn her away, okay?
Please? Hear her out, whatever she has to say.
I’m sure she’s going to you to ask if you would help convince me that the two of us belong together.
” He sounds smug, funny considering only last night he’d been a ragged mess, practically crying over her cheating ways.
He’s way off base with her wanting to talk to me. Adele knows the last thing I would do is hear her out over how much she and my dad are meant to be together. She wouldn’t have the balls to do something like that.
There’s something else to this story. Something I don’t want to know.
“If you see her, call me. Promise?”
“I promise,” I say before I end the call.
The entire drive back to my place, I keep a lookout for my dad’s sleek black Jaguar, but I don’t spot it anywhere. That type of car is a dime a dozen back home. Here, in this small college town that’s filled mostly with Hondas and Toyotas, the car stands out like a glaring beacon.
Thank God I don’t spot the Jag in my complex’s parking lot, either. Relieved I dodged that bullet, I head toward my apartment, surprised to find the door unlocked when I enter.
Surprised even more to find Adele sitting on my fucking couch, Owen sitting next to her and looking incredibly uneasy.
“Andrew!” She stands, pushing her long dark hair over her shoulder. “You’re home!”
I shut the door, my gaze going to Owen, who sprang up so fast from that couch he reminded me of a jack-in-the-box. He’ll hardly meet my eyes, and I’m instantly taken back in time.