Chapter 32 - Fragile
Alyssa's POV:
What happened three days ago was so scary, truly. I was definitely taking my nutrition so much more serious now. However, Brent had barely let me out of his sight and was even going to be working from home for the rest of the week and anytime he was gone, Caitlin was here. I felt like a fish in a tank. I definitely understood the concern, I just wish they'd give me a chance to resume normal life before going quite so 'babysitter' on me.
Thankfully much of the in person planning was done, but I was a very hands on person and was anxious about all I would have to get done from home with my keepers not wanting me to step foot outside of this home.
I was already getting fed up with it and Brent was also not keen on being intimate until he was sure I was okay. I was feeling on edge about everything and tonight I fully planned to take matters into my own hands. I was tired of being watched like a hawk, and even more tired of missing that connection with my mate. Caitlin completely understood and grabbed Tenley and took her to spend the night. Brent wasn't going to be thrilled I was alone, but I had told him Caitlin was leaving, knowing this would make him come home earlier. Was this slightly manipulative? Maybe, but I was desperate for him to see that I was fine and more than capable of taking care of myself.
I had just finished cooking his favorite meal; blackened chicken with roasted vegetables, creamy mashed potatoes, and jalapeno cornbread. I heard him walk through the door just as I pulled the cornbread from the oven.
"Alyssa?"
As if he couldn't find me with that fabulous nose, "kitchen!" I hollered back anyway.
He walked in, loosening his tie and staring daggers at me, "I thought I -"
I shoved a spoon full of potatoes in his mouth, effectively shutting him up, "mmmmm... okay fine, you're forgiven," he shrugged his jacket off and began setting our places.
"Oh, no, just two. Tenley is staying the night with Caitlin," I said as I busied myself placing food on the plates he laid out.
He picked up Tenley's place and put the dishes away, "hmmm.. my favorite meal, to what do I owe the occasion?" He asked as he finished helping me get everything dished out.
I brushed him off, "I'm just tired of being on bedrest. I just wanted to get up and do something," I shrugged. It wasn't a lie, I really did want to show him I was completely fine, but in more ways than one.
We sat down to our plates and several moans, and a, "this is so damn good" from my mate, we finished our meal and sat talking. Taking in our time together after he'd been gone all day in meetings with the Beta and Gamma in preparation for the end of year meeting on the 28th.
He then pushed his chair back, reaching to get our plates, but I grabbed his arm. I stood up and straddled his lap as he brought his arms around me, rubbing my back. I put my hands on either side of his face, staring into his beautiful blue eyes before leaning in to softly kiss him .
He kissed me back so I took this as a moment to slightly deepen the kiss, and once again he obliged. Getting bolder I moved my hands down to his tie and pulled it loose, moving to unbutton his shirt. He began to press against my shoulders, an all too familiar act the last few days. Damn it, that was going way too well.
Sadness and frustration overwhelmed me. I couldn't hold it together another second. I had humored him long enough. With tears in my eyes I climbed off of his lap and marched upstairs. Slamming and locking the door I turned the faucet of the hot tub size bathtub on. I added some lavender bubbles, and then pulled my clothes from my body, hot tears streaming down my face. I seemed to have no control over my life and it was an unbearable reminder of what life used to be like. I knew to some extent that I was being dramatic, okay maybe to a large extent, but my mate was treating me like I was fragile and I couldn't do this for another 4 months or so. This was killing me.
I sank down into the bubbly goodness and tried to let my mind relax.
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Brent's POV:
'Once again you're underestimating her,' my wolf grumbled.
'I know...' I lamented
'Oh. look who finally admits I'm right,' he taunted.
I sat with my elbow on the arm of the chair holding my chin, my mind trying to decide how to remedy this. Once again I had overstepped and I knew I had. She was doing great, but I couldn't get the vision of her flaccid body on the hospital bed out of my head. I was terrified if I was being honest. I needed to talk to her.
I stood slowly and headed for the stairs, taking one step at a time to get my thoughts straight.
I tapped on the door, seeing the door was still locked. I went and sat on the bed facing the door, which I hoped she'd unlock soon. I'd sit there as long as I had to. Thankfully that was only about five minutes.
I heard the click of the lock and I jumped off the bed, twisting the knob and opening the door just in time to see her slip back into the water, the floor wet from her foot prints. I pulled a towel down and silently mopped up the wet floor and then went to kneel beside the tub. I rubbed her cheek with the back of my hand and instead of reacting to my touch she stared blankly ahead with fresh tracks of tears glowing on her face.
"Alyssa," I whispered, "I'm so sorry, I know I am being irrational." My apology breaking her trance as she turned to look at me. The amount of emotion swimming in her eyes absolutely broke me. I had gotten this so very wrong.
She laid her head on my forearm that rested on the edge of the tub, I took my other hand and rubbed her head as we sat in silence.
Clearing my throat, "can I get in?" I asked softly.
She simply nodded her head in response and lifted her head, allowing me to stand and get undressed.
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Alyssa's POV:
I was so grateful he had come to realize this on his own, I was beginning to go crazy. I couldn't live with my every move being watched and decided for me. I also wasn't mad about the view in front of me as he finished unbuttoning his white dress shirt and was now pulling his belt from his black slacks. I loved when he dressed nice, but I definitely loved watching him take it off more.
He walked back toward the tub and I scooted forward to allow him to climb in behind me. I settled my back against his chest as he rubbed the tension from my shoulders. I didn't even care at this point if it didn't go past a shoulder rub. It felt like heaven just having his hands on my skin.
I leaned further back against him as he wrapped his arms around me, "I have let fear rule me these last few days. A part of me knew you were fine and that we had a good plan to move forward, but a larger part of me couldn't get the images out of my head at how frantic Emily and Dr. Greer worked on you. I succumbed to those images and fear and have been treating you like a porcelain doll. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry, my love."
I nodded, silently accepting his apology, "I love you, and I get that it came from a place of love, but I am okay and will be okay. I need you to believe that, please."
"I do know that, I've always known that, but I am terrified of losing you. I assure you I wouldn't come back from it..." His words so genuine and caring caused me to turn around to look him in the eyes. I adored him in every way. I went to kiss him softly, but he surprised me by picking up right where we left off downstairs and I didn't object one bit.
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Brent's POV:
The last week or so had been much better for Alyssa and I. She hadn't had any more episodes and our check up a few days ago looked wonderful. Which further eased my mind, allowing me to enjoy the holiday festivities with my family.
It was now Christmas Eve and the entire pack house was buzzing with excitement. The enhanced moods a major thanks to my mate. This time of year meant so much more to me now that I had these precious girls and the pack was benefiting as well. She had set up a full on Christmas festival spanning the entire first floor of the pack house. Complete with a come and go hot chocolate bar with every single topping imaginable, and the huge tree was packed full with gifts for the secret Santa portion of tomorrow's festivities. All of this was a first for the pack, but not one wolf complained.
I walked past the gingerbread house station that she was also responsible for, and adults and children both swarmed the area. My Gamma and Beta seemed to be in a battle over who could make the best house, calling me over to join. I had taken the day off so why not. It would take my mind off of the fact that tomorrow morning I would finally know what my mate was carrying and the closer it got, the more time slowed down. I found Alyssa and Tenley crafting away at the craft station and asked if they'd like to build a gingerbread house with me and both girls gave a resounding yes, causing me to chuckle.
We sat down and Alyssa immediately started crap talking to my Beta, "you're going down, Anderson." She playfully glared at him, making all of us laugh. Those two were beyond competitive and were always giving each other hell.
"Alright, Ten, while mom is duking it out with Andy, what should we make?" I asked the bright eyed 4 year old.
She didn't miss a beat, "a frozen castle!"
I laughed, "I should've guessed that one." Shaking my head I began to mix blue dye into the white frosting, creating a light blue. We piled frosting on and added glitter and snowflakes all over, letting Tenley lead the way. It really didn't end up all that bad in my opinion.
"What do you think little miss? Did we do a good job?" I asked once we were done and the both of us were covered in glitter.
"YES! IT'S PERFECT!" She hollered, causing almost everyone at the table to smile or laugh in her direction. The pack adored her, and it wasn't hard to see why.
We carried our "masterpiece" as Tenley called it over to the drying table and walked back to see what the status of the unofficial competition was.
Alyssa had made a remarkable gingerbread house, but it appeared as if Anderson had the upper hand.
Alyssa sighed, admitting her defeat, "sorry Luna, regardless of titles, gingerbread houses are serious business. Better luck next time!" Anderson shrugged as he went to put his two story house on the drying table.
"He'll be lucky if that doesn't accidentally fall off the table," my mate grumbled under her breath as we walked her's to the table as well.
I laughed deeply, wiping tears from my eyes, "oh man, I don't know what I am gonna do with another one of you running around..."
"Hey now, the baby could be a boy you know," she turned around and pointed out.
"Gender will have nothing to do with it if they get your personality, my love." I laughed again as she rolled her eyes at me .
"I have a great personality and you know it," she said as she came up on tiptoes to kiss me.
I shook my head at her sass, "yes, my love, you definitely do.Come on, I want another hot chocolate." I said as I drug them both back to the mentioned station, adding way too manymarshmallows to be any kind of healthy, but I loved sweets.
"I don't get how you ingest that much sugar a day and don't have rotting teeth," my mate grimaced.
"Eh, hasn't affected me yet! Come on let's go see what else you've got going."
She smiled and shook her head, "ok, right this way on the Christmas tour."
We stopped in front of a Belgian waffles station, "shut up! I knew I smelled waffles! I was beginning to think it was some sort of air freshener or candle, because I hadn't seen it yet!" My gosh she had really thought of everything and I literally felt like a kid again.
Wolves began to line up as word spread about the waffles. We got up to the counter and I was even more excited at the toppings being offered. I ended up with crumbled bacon, sliced banana, and some chocolate hazelnut spread. My mate scrunched her nose at my concoction. She ordered hers with strawberries and the chocolate hazelnut spread and Tenley announced she wanted the same as me, causing me to stick my tongue out at Alyssa for making fun of my order.
We all grabbed our food and went and sat down in the gathering hall to eat. She had the waffles catered in so that even the kitchen workers could have the day off, "if you think this is wonderful, just wait until you see what I have planned for lunch," she smiled.
I groaned at the waffles hitting my mouth, extremely excited to see what she had planned. I would never be able to find the words at how magnificent she was. I looked around seeing my entire pack enjoying the festivities of the day. The activities flowed out into every corner. Face painting, hair tinsel, puzzle stations, card games, corn hole - you name it, she thought of it. There was an activity for every age group and gender. I highly doubted even one wolf missed out on the fun. The energy was electrifying.
We played for hours, I was enjoying myself, but my top priority was making sure that Alyssa didn't get too caught up in the hustle and bustle and not eat, so far so good though as we made our way to the lunch station. I knew she told me it would be amazing, but I wasn't prepared. She had catered in a gourmet grilled cheese company that came with your choice of chili, tomato soup, or potato soup. You could also order a bowl of chicken and dumplings. I chose a pizza grilled cheese with tomato soup, chili, and a bowl of dumplings. Alyssa went with a fajita chicken grilled cheese and potato soup. Tenley decided on a three-cheese grilled cheese and tomato soup.
I balanced all of our items on a tray and off we went in search of a seat, "I have no idea where you put all that!" Her eyes were wide as she watched me carry the food.
I shrugged, "what? I'm a growing boy." She shook her head in laughter as we sat to eat the delicious food.
Once filled with lunch and both my mate and daughter yawning we decided it was time to return home for naps and it seemed many of the pack members agreed.
I wanted to quickly address the crowd before we left and had Alyssa and Tenley follow me to the center of the lobby, " pack members if I could have a moment of your time please," they instantly fell into a hush, "I think we can all agree that our Luna has spoiled us all today," the crowd broke out into a deafening roar of cheers and I continued once they were settled, "she has once again planned something that was a huge hit for everyone and it was wonderful to see you all enjoying the day. Luna, do you have anything you'd like to say?"
She nodded and came to stand beside me, "today was a small token of my appreciation and a gift to you all for being so willing to accept not only myself but also our daughter. I cannot thank you all enough for your love and support. I also want to take this time to remind you all that we will have cookies and an early dinner tonight to allow everyone to go back to their homes and spend the evening and Christmas day with their families. Our Christmas gathering will be at 5:00 pm sharp tomorrow and I cannot wait to see everyone dressed up and ready to celebrate!" Another round of applause resounded around the room as we took our leave.
"You're incredible," I whispered in her ear.
She winked at me, "You're not too bad yourself, Mr. Alpha."