Chapter 11
FEO
The circle wasn’t working.
Deep inside the Academy for Alchemical Arts was a building, separate from the classrooms or Feo’s home cottage.
The building was as tall as a church, as empty as any royal ballroom in the Capital.
It was four walls, a roof, and a dirt floor.
The only unique identifier of this building, the only thing that hinted at its purpose, was a collection of various writing utensils.
Everything from paint to a pencil and paper to a shovel were made available along one wall.
This was a training room, a place where alchemists could practice drawing circles, experiment with symbols and arrangements until they achieved their goals. That meant it was a place Feo, the Alchemicor, the Alchemist of Eras, frequented often.
Today, they stood alone in the center of the room, staring at the circle they were exploring. Unlike their students, they didn’t use writing utensils to sketch circles—they simply drew them into the air, and the Arcanium’s magic made them tangible.
Surrounded by the soft purple glow of alchemy, Feo scowled.
A small table held a reference book, the same tome Feo had finally obtained from Wylan.
The Metallurgy of Magic was incredibly detailed—and apparently wholly useless after all.
Where Feo had expected compositional breakdowns of various metals, they’d instead been presented with supernatural supposition: how silver could ward off feral unicorns, how steel could bind forest faeries.
Feo wasn’t even sure faeries still existed in the Realm, but stranger things had happened. They’d have to ask Kianthe about that, since mythical creatures were her job, not theirs.
They scuffed a symbol with a finger, then redrew it and tried again. The magic pulsed into their circle—flared—and faded. Nothing else happened.
They were trying to pull iron ore from the ground, manipulating magic to force the material into existence, then raise it.
A spell like that could be invaluable for a blacksmith like Tarly, who’d recently complained to Feo about the rising cost of supplies for his work.
But Tawney wasn’t known for having ore deposits, so this was a longshot at best.
And yet. The magic checked out. It should work.
Feo was so focused that they didn’t hear someone step inside the training room. Although, that could be due to the nature of the visitor, less about the Alchemicor’s divided attention. Nevertheless, when Queen Reyna tapped on Feo’s shoulder, they yelped and spun, nearly smacking her.
She dodged easily, then quirked an eyebrow. “If you’re throwing a proper punch, open your palm and aim for their nose. Cartilage fractures with very little force, and tears will blind your attacker.” Reyna patted the heel of her open palm for emphasis. “Plus, fewer bones for you to break.”
For a sovereign, she was dressed simply. Sometimes, Feo felt ridiculous beside her, adorned in their gold-embroidered outfits when a literal queen wore linen and wool. Her sword, grey steel forged from meteorite, was sheathed at her hip.
Quinn and Kianthe were nowhere to be seen—which made Feo feel distinctly like a student being called into the teacher’s office. This wasn’t a social visit, then.
“I’m hardly going to punch someone,” Feo sniffed, mildly offended at Reyna’s critique of their reflex.
Reyna smirked. “Not with that stance, no.” She peered over their shoulder. “Testing out a new circle?”
“Trying to create iron ore,” Feo said.
The queen crossed her arms. “That’d be very useful. Even in small quantities, it’d save us the transport fees from the mines near the Capital. What prompted it? Curiosity?”
“In part,” Feo replied, suddenly embarrassed that they’d been caught in charity work. They thought about lying, but there was little point with Reyna. “Tarly mentioned rising costs. I… thought this might help him.”
“That’s very kind,” Reyna smiled.
Feo cleared their throat. “Yes, well. It’s not working, so I remain unhelpful.”
Reyna chuckled, waving a hand. “Luckily, we like you whether or not you’re ‘helpful’ to us.
I wanted to tell you that Kianthe and I have really enjoyed you around town again.
I recognize the school takes much of your time, but…
it’s been nice to see you talking with our neighbors and making yourself present. ”
Feo shifted. They’d just wanted to practice alchemy today, not be reminded of their failings the last few years.
“Yes, well. I was reminded how important my community is.” It was nice to re-integrate.
They had dinner at the tavern last week, and chatted with Sasua and Hansen until the early hours of the morning.
Hansen had even given them a free room at the inn to sleep off the ale afterwards.
Considering Feo had thought everyone moved on, it was almost shocking to see how easily the town welcomed them back.
“I’ll be at Quinn’s birthday party,” they said, unnecessarily. A dry pause. “Kianthe’s newsletter arrived again. I read it this time.”
“Wonderful. I’ll stock your favorite tea,” Reyna said.
Silence.
It was awkward.
Feo frowned. “Was there something you needed? I can’t imagine you walked here just to tell me about the town.
” They gestured at her sword, which Reyna wouldn’t have bothered taking if she’d flown here on Ponder.
The forest between the Academy and Tawney was relatively safe, but Reyna was always poised for surprise attacks.
Her Queensguard habits hadn’t faded with time.
She lifted her chin, nodding in approval. “Ponder was having fun with the baby dragons. I swear, I expected her to grow out of that, but… well. The dragons aren’t complaining, so I suppose it’s fine.”
“Reyna,” Feo said firmly.
Get to the point.
Reyna crossed her arms. “You’re sitting idle, and it’s going to ruin your relationship with Wylan.”
Feo felt like they’d been punched in the nose.
Whatever they thought Reyna was here for, it wasn’t that, for the Realm’s sake.
They recoiled, and with their concentration broken, their alchemy circle winked out of existence.
They didn’t even care. “What? I’m doing exactly what you told me to do.
I’m moving on. I’m reconnecting with my communities. I’m letting Wylan live his life!”
“That’s true, and I’m very proud of you.” Reyna narrowed her hazel eyes. “Now, stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop rolling over and letting the love of your life fuck around with someone else.”
“You’ve got to be joking.”
Reyna was not, in fact, joking. “I told you to leave Wylan alone, but that was because you weren’t in a position to date him without repeating the mistakes of the past. Since then, I’ve seen very clearly how you can prioritize others, and how you have a true desire to be present for the people you love.
” She waved a hand. “There comes a time when personal growth stagnates, and the next stage is to learn how to grow together. That time is now, Feo.”
Feo glowered at her. “Wylan is dating Dren.” It didn’t matter that Kianthe said they were just experimenting at a causal relationship. The fact was that Wylan had found another partner, and Feo would stay out of it. They were nothing if not a person of their word.
Reyna wasn’t happy with that. She rested a hand on her sword’s hilt—a habit, for her, but an intimidating one. “Lord Wylan may be passing time with Dren, but he has never once fallen out of love with you. And you’re still in love with him.”
“How could you possibly know that?” Feo snapped.
“Because I have eyes. You pretend to be swamped with work, but you’re constantly traveling, meeting new people. It’s impossible that no one caught your fancy in four years—and I know for a fact that Wylan is the same. He craves companionship, and has lived alone in that empty manor far too long.”
Feo stalked away from the alchemy circle, back towards the door of the training center. “He has Ralund.”
“Ralund has a wife. In the evenings, it’s Wylan, alone in that study.” Reyna followed easily, a persistent shadow. “You told me that Wylan couldn’t handle your title or position in the Realm. Do you still believe that?”
Feo stopped at the training room’s door, one hand on the iron handle.
It felt solid under their grip, which was nice, considering how their mind was careening.
They fumbled for a reply. “I… admit that I might have been searching for a reason to explain away our failed relationship. I don’t believe Wylan cares about my title.
” Feo paused, clenching their eyes shut.
“If anything, he truly seems… proud… of me.”
Pulling that word out—proud—made Feo feel even worse. What a convenient excuse. How ridiculously stupid they’d been to hide behind it for years and years.
“He is,” Reyna replied with confidence. She stepped in front of Feo, not trapping them in the room, but certainly presenting an additional barrier.
This topic of conversation had clearly simmered in the queen’s spirit for a long, long time, and she wasn’t going to let Feo go easily now.
“What else are you afraid of, Feo? There has to be something, or you’d already have spoken up.
You respect my advice, but you’ve ignored it plenty of times in the past.”
Feo tossed up their hands. “I don’t know. Why does any relationship fail? If I separated Dren and Wylan, what’s to stop the past from repeating? What assurance do I have that I won’t tie Wylan up for years more, only to fail him again?”
Reyna smiled.
Feo narrowed their eyes, because the queen looked like she’d gotten some grand admission out of them, and they still didn’t know what it was. “What?”
“That fear? That’s how I know you’ll do better this time around.” She stepped back, letting them leave if they wanted now.
Feo didn’t move. “What do you mean?”
“Even before you two broke up, you treated Tawney as a stepping stone for your own personal accomplishments. You were friendly, but never really mingled—not like we did. Wylan was one more box for you to check off, in my opinion. Diarn, councilmember, Alchemicor… partner. Now, for the first time, you’re not looking at a relationship with him as a challenge to be beat, or a circle to refine.
” She gestured back towards the center of the building, towards the long-dissipated circle Feo had been working on.
“You’re looking at him as a person with something to give—and you want to give back. You’re afraid you won’t be enough for him, but Feo, that’s never been true.”
Feo hated the lump suddenly in their throat, hated that their heart thumped with hope at her words.
I’m enough for him. I can be enough for him.
What would it be like, to fully re-engage with Wylan?
To visit the tavern together, laugh with their friends, and sit in the certainty that someone loved Feo—and Feo loved him back?
For so long, Wylan had been the challenge, the puzzle.
But if Lord Dren vanished tomorrow and Wylan was fully single and interested in trying again, Feo couldn’t imagine anything but excitement.
They didn’t need the forbidden, Feo realized.
Their desire to reconnect with Wylan wasn’t because all of a sudden, Wylan liked Dren.
It was never about Dren at all. It was about Feo, knowing deep in their soul that they’d failed Wylan the first time, and sitting with a crippling fear that they’d do it again—and how that fear combatted with genuine happiness when Wylan was nearby.
Feo just liked being around Wylan.
Feo… missed… him.
A lot.
“The beautiful thing about relationships,” Reyna said gently, putting a comforting hand on Feo’s arm, “is that as we age and learn, we get to be better partners. Our past failures don’t matter as much as what we choose to become moving forward.”
A better partner. Yes. That was exactly what Feo yearned to become.
Except—
“Wylan and Dren are still—”
“Don’t worry about that. Wylan is about to realize exactly how much you care for him,” Reyna said cryptically.
Suspicion prickled Feo’s arms. “What did you do?”
“What needed to be done.”
“Reyna.”
But the queen just winked. “If you’re worried, now’s a great time to visit him.
Lord Wylan just returned from Pine Island this morning, and I’m sure he’s still at his manor.
I also have it on good authority that Lord Dren is no longer a concern.
” Reyna pulled open the iron doorhandle, stepping into the bright spring sunshine.
“Good luck, Alchemicor. We’re rooting for you two. ”
And she strolled off, leaving Feo gaping at her back.