Chapter 13
FEO
After a big admission like that, Feo expected something.
Wylan’s jaw to drop, or a quiet gasp, or maybe just his eyes widening in shock.
A sigh coupled with, I’ve always known, would have been fine.
Hells, Feo halfway thought that Wylan would shake his head and tell Feo it was too soon, that he just separated with Dren, that he wasn’t anxious to repeat the past.
Feo could have handled any of those.
Instead, Lord Wylan just stared.
It was unnerving.
Do something, Feo’s mind screamed, so they laughed and wrang their hands together and stammered, “W-Well, that’s how I feel, anyway.
It doesn’t mean we have to try anything.
It doesn’t come with any obligation to you at all.
Frankly, I can understand why this might overcomplicate things, but Reyna found me at the Academy and made me realize that fear has been my primary driver the last several years. ”
“Fear?” Wylan replied blankly.
It was better than stunned silence, so Feo latched onto it. “Well, something akin to—” They realized they were making excuses yet again, trying to save face… and that was exactly how they got here in the first place. Posturing, pretending, when Wylan deserved something real.
They grimaced and reworked their sentence: “Yes. Fear. I realized I was terribly afraid of a dozen different things. Not being noticed, not being respected, not being enough. But you loved me when I was struggling to be acknowledged by anyone else, struggling to find a real place in Tawney—and I forgot that.”
Wylan swallowed hard, but didn’t interrupt.
Feo continued, rambling now. “So, I’m sorry.
I’m incredibly sorry for letting that fear get in the way of us.
And I’m even sorrier for justifying the fear in stupid ways, all so I didn’t have to try and regain your affection and possibly be struck down.
I just… wish I’d done things differently, and I didn’t realize until Lord Dren arrived. ”
“Feo—”
“Regardless of what you say to me now, you know I’m earnest.” Feo gestured at the stolen journal pages, still laid on full display. “I rarely say things I don’t mean. So, please, believe me when I say, I was an ass—and I want to be better moving forward, if you’d let me.”
There. That felt sufficient.
Feo crossed their arms, waiting for a response.
Wylan’s eyes flicked back and forth, to the table, to Feo, to the floor. He drew a slow, contemplative breath. Feo found themselves holding theirs as Wylan replied, “Do you know why it didn’t work with Dren?”
Feo tilted their head. “Optimistically, I’d say that Dren must be horrid at pleasing you.”
It was probably too fast, but old habits died hard, and it was so easy to fall into banter with Wylan. After Feo said it, they clamped their mouth shut, hoping that Wylan wouldn’t scoff or roll his eyes.
Instead, he snorted, then started laughing. “Oh, Gods.”
Well, if he was going to laugh about it.
Feo grinned. “Ah, yes. I recall you shouting that with me once or twice.” Their voice was sly, but they cleared their throat, moving on quickly.
“Realistically, it was likely a clash of distance and future goals. A relationship with a lord in a neighboring land would be… complicated.”
Feo hadn’t wanted to admit it back then, but proximity to Wylan and Tawney was a big reason why they didn’t push to relocate the Arcanium very far after its creation.
“We can only transport it so far,” was a convenient excuse, especially when Feo was imagining those early nights alone in a big, nearly-empty school.
Wylan waved the realistic option away. “It wasn’t either of those. It was because the entire time we were dating, I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”
Feo paused, eyebrows shooting up. “You… you don’t say.”
“I do say,” Wylan replied smoothly, and closed the gap between them. His fingers drifted along Feo’s arm, and his gaze seemed to burn. “Dren was a test to see if I’d be happy with someone else. Now I know, confidently, that my greatest life comes with you.”
Feo’s entire body went cold, then very, very warm. They cleared their throat, unable to tear their eyes away from Wylan’s. “In that case, I hope I didn’t ruin your professional relationship with the Queendom’s newest lord.”
“Certainly not,” Wylan replied, falling easily back into their formal discussions. “Lord Dren is a respectable man. He knew what we were attempting—and how it may fail. We’ll be fine.”
“Good. Good to know.” Feo nodded, their mouth suddenly dry.
Wylan leaned closer, that coy smirk tilting his lips. “It would seem that you’re not the only one very much in love. That admission was all I ever wanted from you, back then.”
“I’ll do better,” Feo said breathlessly. “Anything you’d like. I have a spell that can mimic Kianthe and Reyna’s moonstones. I’ll talk to you all day long.”
“I don’t need all your time. I just wanted to know you were thinking of me, even if we go days without seeing each other.
” Wylan’s fingers curled under Feo’s chin, lifting it gently.
Feo was just a bit shorter, and the motion brought their faces even closer.
Wylan’s eyes flicked down to Feo’s lips, then back up.
“And I’m sorry, too. Dren helped me realize that I have a tendency to sit back and let someone else make decisions, when I could very easily speak up and admit when I need something.
I can see now how that didn’t exactly help what we were becoming, especially compounding over years.
” Wylan shook his head. “We’ll both do better. ”
Feo’s heart skipped a beat. “Does that mean we can try again?”
“Hmm. Only if you let me announce it at the tavern.” Wylan grinned. Despite their proximity, despite Feo still holding their breath, Wylan didn’t kiss them.
It was like he found pleasure in making Feo wait.
Which, considering everything, was fair—albeit agonizing.
Feo leaned on their tip-toes to make it easier. They wouldn’t be the first to seize a kiss, even if they yearned for it. Wylan had ended their relationship, and now Feo felt that Wylan needed to restart it.
Instead, they replied, “I… suppose I can contain myself. For a time.”
“You’ll have to show some restraint. But that might be fun,” Wylan finally, finally, leaned closer, brushing his lips against Feo’s.
The touch was sharper than any magic, settling over Feo in a completely different way.
Instead of filling their soul, it electrified their skin, pushed their heart into pounding beats, left them light as a feather and bright as sunshine.
It was everything Feo hadn’t realized they’d missed… and everything Feo wanted, every single day for the rest of their life. Being the Alchemicor, the Alchemist of Eras, meant nothing without the right person at their side.
Really, they should have learned that from Kianthe, years ago.
It wouldn’t be so easy to forget.
Not this time.
“Wy, please—” they whispered.
“Waiting for something?” Wylan asked, almost amused. He was so close that his words brushed against Feo’s lips, too. “And here I thought I was fine taking my time, based on how very long you left me alone.”
That familiar, thrilling frustration bubbled in Feo’s chest. “I already apologized. It’s rude to—”
Wylan’s lips crashed against Feo’s, and it was fucking everything.
Feo’s mind went absolutely blank. No spells, no curriculum, no schedules. Just Wylan, the charming lord who’d challenged them from day one, who danced in and out of illicit meetings, who caught Feo in the dark alleys in Tawney for breathless, stolen moments.
Wylan, the one who’d filled a void in Feo’s heart, so slowly becoming the one constant companion that Feo hadn’t even realized they’d miss it when Wylan was gone.
And now, in the instance of a single kiss, everything realigned.
Feo saw their future so fucking clearly it felt comical that they hadn’t seen it earlier.
All the big moments—policy meetings where their eyes met across a wide table; heated debates beside the fireplace where they disagreed on future plans for Tawney, but still snuggled in bed together; guiding the Realm’s alchemists and Tawney’s citizens alike.
And then, the littler moments, which suddenly felt just as vital: Wylan’s fingers, reaching for Feo’s on a bright summer day.
Feo, draping their fancy cloak over Wylan’s shoulders during a future Midwinter Celebration.
A bonfire, drinking ale together, surrounded by their friends.
Tea accidentally spilled, and the horrified laughter as it soaked one of their shirts, as the other scrambled for a towel.
Wylan, taking Feo’s hand and sliding onto Kappenicus for a romantic afternoon flight.
Feo, activating their new spell to vent to Wylan about some school failure.
Once upon a time, Feo had watched Kianthe and Reyna and rolled their eyes at how anyone could be that sappy. That in love. But even back then, they wanted that companionship, that person who was theirs, and theirs alone.
They had him the whole fucking time, and now they were never letting him go.
The kiss conveyed all of that. It started hesitant, slow, sweet, and shifted into desperation to make up the time they’d lost, the years they’d wasted.
Their hands wrapped around Wylan’s neck, and one slid into Wylan’s short hair, tightening in a breath of possessiveness.
Wylan’s arms wound around Feo’s waist, pulling them flush against his body.
When he moaned against Feo’s lips, they wasted no time prodding for access, their tongues clashing as desire soared.
Feo had been worried that it was their forbidden romance, before. That with full permission, their passion would die—but that was absolutely not the case. Feo had never felt so desperate for contact, never felt a craving for Wylan as powerful as this.
So, naturally, that was when something crashed to the ground outside the study’s windows, loud enough that they sprang apart, gasping for breath.