CHAPTER 4
Eline had worked up the courage to send that email, and she’d gone home feeling like at least she’d done that.
She’d then proceeded to look down at her phone, unlocking it over and over again, hoping to see a new notification appear, indicating that Arlowe had replied, but after not seeing one for well over an hour, she decided to get out of the house because she was restless.
It was like her apartment could not contain her or the confusing feelings that had come over her the moment she’d realized that Arlowe probably lived only minutes away from her.
She knew that she needed to eat something, despite not actually feeling hungry, so she opted to go out to eat, hoping that she didn’t look like an old spinster sitting in a restaurant alone.
Choosing a bar because she could go for some decent bar food and a drink, she parked in the small lot in the back and headed inside.
It wasn’t quiet as she’d hoped for because a bunch of guys there were watching a game on the big screen toward the back of the place, but Eline didn’t care enough to look for another place to go, so she just found an empty seat at the bar.
“Hi. What can I get for you?” the bartender asked.
“Can I see a menu?”
“Sure,” he said and pulled out a menu before setting it in front of her. “Drink?”
“Actually, yes. Can I get a pina colada?”
When she and Arlowe had first started dating, Arlowe had asked if she’d had the drink before, and Eline hadn’t, so Arlowe had made them a batch in her dorm room, using a cheap blender that she’d bought from a store earlier that day.
“No problem,” the bartender replied.
Eline hadn’t had a pina colada since that night, but the first drink she’d thought to order had been the one she still associated with her ex-girlfriend.
A few minutes later, she had the drink in front of her and had ordered her dinner, and she looked back at the TV to see what sport the group of mostly men was watching.
Just as it clicked that it was some kind of motorcycle race, her phone dinged.
Eline knew that sound. She’d set up her email notifications to be distinct from the rest of her apps, so she took a very deep breath and pulled her phone out of her pocket.
As she unlocked the device and went to her email app, she knew there was a chance that it could be an email from anyone, but she hoped that it was one from Arlowe.
Her body let out one short breath when she saw that it was.
Eline,
Hi. How are you? How have you been? I don’t know which to ask, and my friends are not being very helpful right now.
Violet told me that I should keep it short and sweet.
Enya told me that I should ask you a million questions, and Sarai suggested I land somewhere in the middle, but I guess I’m really bad at taking their advice because I just told you all of that instead of listening to them.
Anyway, you’ve probably guessed that we all started the app and work at the business together by now, but yeah, we’re all still friends and work together, so there’s that.
Things are good, I guess. I mostly just work and hang with them. What about you?
Why does it feel so strange, sending you an email?
I used to know everything about you. I guess I just wanted to say that I hope you’re well.
I hope things turned out how you wanted them to and that you’re happy.
That’s all I have ever really wanted. I also wanted you to know that I did want to talk to you.
I wanted to reach out, but I was waiting for you to reach out first, given that you told me you needed time, and when you didn’t, I thought it meant that that was it, so that’s why I never did.
I don’t know if that was the right decision or the wrong one, but it’s the one I made.
If you get this and want to find me on social and DM me there, you can.
This is my work email, so I’ll just put my social handles below.
I don’t know if you’d want my number, but if you do, I can give it to you, too, and you can text me.
I just looked at the time here, and it’s after seven, which means it’s the middle of the night your time, so I guess I’ll close by asking what you’re doing up so late and hope you reply soon.
Arlowe
Below that, Arlowe had listed a few of her social media usernames, but Eline scrolled back up to read the email again.
She’d thought about following Arlowe many times over the years, but she’d never gone through with it because, despite it being a part of her distant past, it never felt far enough away for her to confront the woman she’d once believed to be the love of her life.
“Hey. Is this seat taken?”
Eline looked over at a woman who was standing next to the empty stool to her right.
“No,” she replied, preparing to return her attention to Arlowe’s email.
“Can I join you, then?”
“Join me?” Eline asked.
“You have an interesting accent. Where’s it from?” the woman asked as she took her seat.
“Holland. I’m Dutch.”
“Your English is amazing.”
“I spent time here as a teenager,” she said.
“And now, you’re back on vacation or…”
“No, I moved here recently.”
She gave the woman a nod, hoping that would tell her that she wasn’t really interested in a conversation at the moment without appearing to be rude.
“I’m Marti,” the woman introduced herself instead and held out her hand.
“Eline,” she replied.
“Like Elaine, but not?”
“Um… I suppose,” she said.
“You’re not at all interested, are you?” Marti said with a little laugh.
“Interested in what?”
“Me.”
“Sorry?”
“I was sitting over there with my friends, saw you, and thought I’d come over here and offer to buy you a drink, but you are not interested at all, are you?”
“Oh,” Eline said. “That’s what–”
“Yeah.” Marti chuckled. “Was I wrong? I had a feeling you might be, but if you’re not into women, just forget I came over.”
“No, I am,” Eline said quickly and held up her phone for some reason. “I’m actually emailing with my ex-girlfriend right now.”
“Emailing? You don’t text?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got a minute. My friends just ordered their food, but I’m not hungry.”
“It’s a very long story,” she corrected herself.
“One of those, huh?”
“Yes.” Eline laughed a bit. “I thought she was the one.”
“She’s not?”
“I don’t know. It was a long time ago, and I haven’t talked to her since then, but she just emailed me. I emailed her first, technically, but she emailed me back.”
“Well, what had you emailing her to begin with?”
“I learned that I’m a customer at her company. I didn’t know that she works there until today, so when I found out, I told her that it was me so that she would know. Felt like the right thing to do.”
“And now, you’re emailing back and forth?”
“I guess so.”
“You still think she’s the one, don’t you?” Marti asked with a knowing smile.
“How did you–”
“Been there myself.”
Marti then nodded toward a table behind her, so Eline glanced back and found two women talking.
“That’s my best friend in the world on the left and her girlfriend on the right.”
Eline shook her head, not understanding.
“I’m in love with my best friend; have been for years.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah… It’s bad. I’m pretty sure she’s my soulmate, but she’s got someone else.”
“You haven’t told her how you feel?”
“No, I did,” Marti said with a chuckle. “I told her, and we tried going on a date. We even– Well, you know.” Marti shrugged a shoulder.
“Once. I thought it was amazing. She said she did, too, but then she told me that she wasn’t over her ex and that we shouldn’t have done that. That was about five years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Eline offered. “Is that the girlfriend she had before?”
“This one’s new. They’ve only been official for a month; dating for two, I guess. It’s her maybe tenth relationship since we tried. I’ve had one at some point, but it went nowhere. So, believe me when I tell you that I get it.”
“Why were you going to buy me a drink if you’re in love with someone else?”
“She has someone else every time, and I need to move on eventually. Hell, maybe I was wrong all along, and she’s not my soulmate. I don’t know. I also wanted to get away from them for a few minutes. They argue a lot, and it’s annoying.”
“Not that it’s any of my business…” Eline began. “But have you ever thought that the reason she’s had so many relationships is that she hasn’t found anyone, either?”
“Yeah, but she just keeps trying, and I keep waiting for her to wake up and realize that it’s supposed to be me.”
“Maybe she does know,” Eline said, nodding toward the table.
Marti turned, and the woman she’d identified as her best friend was looking over at them. From Eline’s point of view, she didn’t look happy.
“She looks a little jealous to me,” she added. “Like, she doesn’t like that you’re over here, talking to me.”
“She’s probably just checking on me, making sure I’m okay.”
“Maybe,” Eline said.
“So, back to you. What are you going to do about your ex and this email situation?”
“Email her back.”
“What are you going to say?” Marti asked.
“I have no idea.”
“How did you two leave it when you broke up?”
“We were twenty-two, heading in different directions. So, we loved each other, but we couldn’t find a way to make it work. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was say goodbye to her.”
“Wow,” Marti replied. “I’d start with that if you want her back.”
“Want her back? It’s been over twelve years. I’m sure she’s married, or at least, with someone.”
“Well, I’m sure she’d still like to at least hear that even if you don’t want her back or if she has someone else. I know I would.”
“She lives here.”
“In this bar?” Marti asked with a little smile.
“In this town. We’ve never been this close before, and I don’t know what to do with that.”
“Do you want to see her?”
“I’d love to see her,” she stated.
“And if she’s married or otherwise taken?”
Eline hesitated then.
“Wow! You do still want her back, huh?” Marti added.
“I haven’t seen her in a long time. I’m sure we’re–”
“Just suggest you two meet up in your response,” Marti interjected. “For coffee or something. Make it a no-pressure thing.”
“Coffee? With Arlowe?”
“Does she not drink coffee?”
“No, she drinks all the coffee,” she replied with a little laugh. “It’s more that it seems strange to think that we need to keep things no-pressure, considering that I thought she’d propose to me one day, but I get your point.”
“So, you’re going to do it?”
“She doesn’t even know that I live here. I haven’t told her yet. Shouldn’t I start with that?”
“You can put it all in one email.”
“Hey.”
Eline looked up and found the best friend standing not next to, but between their stools.
“Oh, hey. Marissa, this is Eline. Eline, this is my friend, Marissa,” Marti introduced.
“Nice to meet you,” Eline replied.
“Yeah, you too,” Marissa said, but Eline could tell that she didn’t actually mean it. “I just wanted to… check on the food,” Marissa added, clearly lying as she looked her over.
“Wouldn’t they bring it to the table?” Marti asked.
“Yeah. So, are you coming back over, or…”
“We were going to have a drink,” Eline said. “Just getting to know each other a bit.”
She put her hand on Marti’s thigh briefly and watched Marissa’s eyes flit down and practically glare back up at her a moment later.
“Um… Yeah. You two can eat without me. I’m going to hang out here, with Eline, for a while. In fact, if you want to head out when you’re done, that’s fine. I can get a ride–”
“I’ll take you,” Eline interrupted.
“You came with us,” Marissa said.
“I know, but I’ll be fine. Eline will drive me home.”
“Can I maybe talk to you for a second? Alone?” Marissa asked.
“Uh… Sure,” Marti replied.
When Marissa turned away and took a few steps toward the kitchen, Eline winked at Marti, trying to play the part she had given herself, and whispered, “I was right.”
“I’ll be right back,” Marti said, shaking her head.
Eline was left alone then, which meant that she finally had to decide what to do about her response to Arlowe. She opened up the email, hit the reply icon, and began typing.
Arlowe,
I didn’t mention this before, and maybe I shouldn’t now, but I’m not exactly staying up late tonight.
I’m actually out at dinner right now, about to get my food, and then I’ll go home to my new apartment because I moved.
I don’t live in Holland anymore. I live in the US.
More specifically, I live here. Well, I live in the same town as your company’s main office.
I guess I assumed that you probably lived here, too.
Maybe you work remotely from somewhere else, but I don’t know.
If you live here, I’m here, too, and I can look you up on social media, or I can text you, but we could also maybe meet up if you want.
Coffee? I know you love coffee. You used to drink it by the bucket and said you loved the coffee in Holland better than any you’d ever had.
If you don’t want to meet, I understand.
I just can’t believe that we’re finally in the same place at the same time, and I think I’d kick myself for not telling you that or asking if we can meet again.
Eline
She hit send before she could talk herself out of it and turned just as Marti sat back down next to her.
“She wants to take her girlfriend home and talk to me about something,” Marti shared.
“She does?”
“She said it was just supposed to be her and I tonight, but her girlfriend wanted to tag along. They’ve been fighting a lot recently, and she doesn’t see it going anywhere anymore. I think she’s going to break up with her,” Marti said with a smile. “Am I a bad person for loving that?”
“No,” Eline replied with a smile. “You should go, then.”
“What did you decide to do about your ex?”
“I sent the email and asked her to meet.”
“Hey, that’s amazing. Congrats! I hope it works out for you two.”
“I don’t know what working out would mean for us, but thank you,” she said before she nodded back toward Marissa and added, “You as well.”
“No pressure, but if you want to hang out again, just as friends or whatever…” Marti looked up at the bartender and asked, “Got a pen?”
“Sure.”
He pulled one from his chest pocket, handed it to Marti, and she wrote her number down on the napkin under Eline’s drink.
“My number. No pressure. And not still hitting on you or anything. I love her,” Marti said with a little smile and shook her head. “I wish she would’ve given us a chance back then.”
“Maybe she’s ready now,” Eline suggested.
“Maybe. I’m going to go, but it was nice meeting you, Eline.”
“You too,” she replied.
Eline’s food arrived after Marti stood and joined Marissa and the girlfriend, and she watched as the three women walked out of the bar a few minutes later, finding it interesting that when Marissa opened the door, she let her girlfriend walk through it first before she put her hand on the small of Marti’s back and walked out with her.