Chapter Five
For something that had kept her up, wide-eyed and staring into the darkness, for hours during the night, yesterday’s proposal had gone off very smoothly.
Roberta wasn’t sure why she had been worried, but for some reason, it had felt as if they were tempting fate.
By pretending to be in love and promising to marry, they were mocking destiny.
Which was just plain silly, and Antonia would tell her so.
Her sister, at almost sixteen years, and the next youngest to Roberta’s almost twenty, was very serious and far more of a bookworm than even Justina.
Whereas Justina read romances and liked to be optimistic when it came to real life, Antonia read serious tomes so thick Roberta shuddered at the sight of them.
Antonia would have liked to go to Cambridge to study, but girls did not go to Cambridge.
Gabriel had even inquired on her behalf and been given an unequivocal “no.” The best he had been able to come up with was to engage a retired but learned tutor to visit once a week and discuss all sorts of literary and historical matters with Antonia.
It was thoughtful of Gabriel to do that.
He was a wonderful brother, who would do almost anything for his sisters.
After a childhood of neglect, they could not have asked for better.
Their mother had been absent most of the time—if not physically, then emotionally—and their father had driven the family deep into debt before he died.
It was only then that they had discovered he had married someone else before their mother and had never divorced her, which made his daughters bastards.
Gabriel was the product of that marriage, and once he agreed to take on the role of Duke of Grantham, the welfare of his six sisters fell to him.
Roberta’s grandmother, the Dowager Duchess of Grantham, had arrived one day after her son died and found the house in a sad state and her granddaughters filthy and uncared for.
She had immediately taken charge of them.
After Gabriel became duke, the pair of them had brought order and stability to the girls’ world, and, perhaps just as importantly, they had brought love.
If sometimes Roberta missed the freedom of those early days, she also knew how lucky she was.
And there was still freedom, especially at Grantham, where she could ride about the countryside whenever she wished.
Even here in London, she could ride, if it was early enough, and as long as it wasn’t remarked upon.
She was fortunate, and so what if life sometimes seemed rather dull after her tempestuous childhood?
She had been mulling over her past early this morning, during her usual ride in the park, and comparing it to Niki’s.
At least her childhood had been lived in private.
In contrast, Niki’s early years had been watched over and judged by his countrymen.
No wonder he was so concerned about appearances.
It made his decision to pretend to be engaged to Roberta all the more confusing.
She had decided that Vivienne must have been mistaken when she’d said it was Niki who had chosen Roberta to be his fake fiancée.
Why would he do that? It made no sense whatsoever.
When Roberta returned to Ashton House and opened the door to her bedchamber, she found Antonia dressed and waiting for her. That was a surprise. And Antonia, who always looked serious, was particularly grave this morning.
“What are you doing here? Isn’t it a little early for you?” She tossed aside her hat and shook out her hair. She was still dressed in her male attire from the ride as she flung herself into a chair by the window. Outside, the sun was just peeking through the clouds.
“I was lying in bed, thinking and thinking, and I couldn’t bear it anymore,” Antonia answered.
“Roberta, I know you have a secret. You and Gabriel and Freddie have been huddled together for days, and I’m sure it has something to do with Prince Nikolai.
What is happening? Please tell me. I can’t stand not knowing, I’m sure you want to tell someone, and you know I will keep your secret.
I never told anyone the first time I saw you going out riding dressed like a boy, did I?
And the time you broke Grandmama’s Sevres vase? I kept quiet about that too.”
Uneasily, Roberta stared back at her. Somehow, Antonia had guessed that something was going on, and the thing about her sister was that she liked to know everything.
She felt it was a personal affront if she was left in ignorance.
There was the time Olivia raced Ivo down Rotten Row, and Antonia knew some secret was being kept from her, and she had niggled and whined until Roberta told her—swearing her to secrecy, of course.
But Antonia was right when she guessed Roberta desperately wanted to tell one of her sisters about Niki.
She felt very much out of her depth, and it would be so good to share her jumbled emotions with someone she knew she could trust. It was all very well that Gabriel and Vivienne knew, but she felt awkward discussing her doubts with them, and Freddie…
? Well, he would try to reassure her rather than commiserate with her.
All the same it wouldn’t do for Antonia to think she had won too easily. After a moment, Roberta gave a dramatically deep sigh. “Oh, very well,” she grumbled. “Although you are far too young to understand.”
Antonia looked repentant—she knew how to play the game—and then she wriggled into a more comfortable position on Roberta’s bed and prepared to listen.
Roberta leaned forward in her chair and launched into her tale. “I am engaged to Prince Nikolai, or at least, I will be soon. The formal announcement will be at a grand ball at his aunt’s residence.”
She was gratified to see that Antonia, usually so calm and unflappable, appeared to be struck speechless. “Engaged?” she gasped at last. “To Niki?”
“Hush.” Roberta looked about as if expecting to see a spy peeping out of the cupboard.
“But how is that possible?” Antonia was frowning, trying to understand. “It is years since he was part of our circle. How can you be engaged, Roberta? Have you been in love all this time? Are you having a secret affair?”
Roberta gave a laugh that sounded shaky. “It isn’t real, silly. I was asked to pretend to be engaged to him. It’s complicated.”
“I’m quite clever,” Antonia retorted. “I’m sure if you explain, I’ll understand.”
Roberta ignored the sarcasm. “You already know that someone tried to assassinate Niki.” She swallowed, because that was an awful memory—Niki bleeding and shocked in her arms—and it could have been far worse.
“Niki being engaged to an English girl gives Freddie and the government a reason to watch over him. To be a sort of informal bodyguard. They can’t be too obvious because Niki does not want his countrymen to think he has turned to another country for help.
Evidently the Holtswiggers are very proud. ”
Antonia smiled. “Is that what they’re called? Really?”
Roberta shrugged.
Antonia was serious again. “You are pretending to be engaged so that Niki can be protected. How long will you be pretending to be engaged for? Will you have to go back to Holtswig with him?” Her blue Ashton eyes sparkled at the thought.
“How exciting! I have never been anywhere but Grantham and London, and the world is so big. I wish…” But whatever Antonia wished, she did not tell.
“No. Ours is a short engagement, and we will break it off in three months. Nothing obvious, just a quiet parting of ways. Niki will go home to Holtswig, and I will stay here.”
When she said it aloud, the future did sound very dreary.
She wondered how she would manage after being at Niki’s side and the center of attention.
She would have to go back to her everyday life, which consisted of riding in the park and visiting Estelle Longhurst, as well as attending the usual Season activities.
She knew she should be grateful, and that she was luckier than many young ladies, and yet she struggled to feel it right now.
“It seems unfair that you can’t carry on being his fiancée,” Antonia said, watching closely and no doubt reading Roberta’s feelings perfectly.
Antonia was good at that. She had always been quiet, blending into the background and observing those about her.
She had learned to understand her sisters very well.
“Well, I can’t,” Roberta said bluntly.
“I still don’t understand why he can’t marry you properly. Is it because you are illegitimate? Does he have to marry another Holtswigger?”
Roberta realized she did not know the answers, and she did not want to quiz Niki in case he thought she was too invested in their pretend engagement. “I’ll ask Freddie.”
“Will there be a scandal?”
“Freddie says not. It will be a joint decision to end the engagement, but Niki will accept any consequences. We will say we remain friends but weren’t suited to marriage.”
“It is all planned then, rather like a play.” Antonia shook her head. “I still think…You are tempting fate, Robbie, and fate has a nasty habit of overturning the best-laid plans.”
There, exactly as she’d predicted! Roberta sniffed. “I am doing it for a good cause, so fate should remember that.”
Antonia watched her in silence for a moment, as if choosing her words. “I want to go with you,” she said in her considered way. “To the official announcement of your engagement. I want to be your lady-in-waiting.”
Roberta wondered if her mouth had fallen open. She knew she was staring.
“Come,” Antonia wheedled, “you need me. Imagine how tumultuous it will be! I can support you, be by your side, and I am good at listening and watching. I’ve been doing that all my life. Perhaps I will even overhear something I can share with Freddie.”