Chapter Eleven
Roberta hadn’t a great deal of experience when it came to kissing, so she may have been wrong, but this felt quite extraordinary.
The sensation of his mouth on hers, the warmth of his breath, and the slight rough scratch of his beard.
It was all new and wonderful, and she wanted to press closer and closer.
When his tongue slid against her bottom lip, it gave her a tingle of shock.
As if he had lit something up inside her, opened a door that let her see into a future of more kisses and everything that went with them.
It tempted her, and it also unnerved her, because she wasn’t sure what would happen if she went through that door.
She leaned away, her arms still looped about his neck and his clasped about her waist. His eyes were closed, as if he was as lost as she, and he did not look arrogant or distant or any of the other things he was often accused of.
He had been stripped of his veneer, and he was simply a young man lost in the wonder of the moment.
Roberta wasn’t alone then, and now she wondered if this had been such a good idea. Yes, her intentions had been justified, but the kiss…Well, it had confused matters, and now she wasn’t sure she could go back to the way they had been before.
He blinked open his eyes and then stared at her blankly.
Roberta thought there was a lot going on in his head, and she recognized one of his emotions.
Panic. He too understood that the kiss had shifted things in their fake relationship, taken them to places that perhaps they should not have gone, and he was wondering how to claw his way back.
“Perhaps we don’t need to practice after all,” she said with a laugh, but she sounded rattled.
His dark eyes delved into hers. “They say that practice makes perfect. We shouldn’t stop at one.” Then, a dark flush coloring his cheeks, “But it is entirely up to you, of course.”
“Shouldn’t we?” She hesitated, her desire fighting against common sense, but as a horse rider Roberta had never backed away from a fence, and she wasn’t about to back away now.
She took a breath, her gaze examining his lean and handsome face as if she had never seen him before.
As if she might be burned if she looked too long.
“One more then,” she said in a rush and, throwing caution to the wind, leaned in.
Niki didn’t seem to have any doubts. This time, their kiss was deeper and lasted longer.
How much practice has he had? she wondered, feverishly responding.
He seemed competent, more so than she, but she discovered it was easy enough once one got the hang of it.
Teasing lips and probing tongue while trying not to pass out from lack of oxygen.
If he had kissed her like this three years ago, when her girlish infatuation was at its height, she might have swooned away completely.
Just as well he hadn’t then, she told herself firmly, as he tilted her chin with a warm hand so that he had better access to her mouth. And oh, she never wanted it to stop.
Perhaps they wouldn’t have stopped, but the sound of laughter coming from nearby, hastily muffled, finally broke the spell.
Niki stumbled back, less like his usual graceful self, and stood in front of her as if he was shielding her with his body.
It seemed ridiculously chivalrous and yet affecting at the same time.
She peeped around his shoulder, not knowing what to expect, and saw that Antonia and Ernest had found them.
“Sorry,” Antonia murmured, her face fiery, her eyes wide.
“We wondered where you had gone,” Ernest said at the same time. He was grinning from ear to ear. “We won’t tell anyone. Promise, Niki.”
He sounded as if he meant it. Roberta was surprised when Niki said, “I will hold you to that, brat,” in the sort of indulgent voice she had never heard from him before. “This was a private moment between Lady Roberta and me. No gossiping.”
Ernest laughed again, and off he went. Antonia trailed after him, turning once to raise her eyebrows at her sister in a way that seemed to ask a great many questions, and then she too was gone. Once again, they were alone with the topiary bird.
Niki shot her an anxious look. “My brother is a mischief-maker. His promise means little. Don’t be surprised if he has shared the secret with every single person by the time we get back.”
Roberta put his mind at ease. “I suppose it will serve to convince the doubters, and isn’t that what we want?”
“Yes, it is what we want.” He tried not to sound upset at the reminder of their ruse when all he wanted was to keep kissing her. A ridiculous reaction, but he couldn’t seem to help it.
He offered his elbow, and Roberta slipped her arm through his. They began to walk back toward the pond.
Roberta caught a glimpse of one of Freddie’s men, pretending to watch some birds flitting about the treetops, and she was reminded of why they were together. “Whoever is trying to harm you…I hope this works and they are captured soon.” Her words trailed off, and she shivered in the warm air.
Niki patted her hand as if it was her life in danger and not his. “I have high hopes that your government will catch this person before they can strike again. Your Mr. Hart seems more than capable.”
Roberta hoped so too. She launched into the story of Gabriel and Charles and Freddie, and their life at St. Ninian’s orphanage.
Niki listened, and she felt him relax. While it wasn’t completely impossible to ignore the danger that surrounded him, at least she could do her best to give him some respite from it.
Matilda tried not to smile when Freddie explained what his man had seen and reported back to him.
“I know,” she said. “Ernest has already told me.” She tapped his arm with her fan.
“It is a good thing, is it not? For Niki to marry a girl he loves and desires? So many marriages are cold, unemotional affairs. I would not want that for him, or for anyone.”
Freddie gave her a curious look, his eyes bright beneath his auburn lashes. “And yet that is the way our world works, isn’t it? You were fortunate, my lady.”
“Please. Call me Matilda,” she said with a smile. “And yes, I was fortunate. Baron Brooks and I had many happy years together.”
Freddie’s smile was quizzical. “But you are still young. You do not need to wallow in widowhood, do you?”
Matilda gave a giggle, and then another. “What a picture you paint, Mr. Hart. No, I do not intend to wallow at all. I think”—and she looked at him sideways—“I think I will take a lover.”
He gave a crack of laughter.
“You think me bold?” she said, eyes sparkling. “It is the thing to do, is it not? My children will soon be grown, and I will be alone.”
Freddie was looking at her, and there was an audacity in his expression and a curve to his lips that had her heart beating a little faster than she was used to. She felt warm in places that had not been warm for a while.
He leaned closer. “I think that is a very good idea, Matilda,” he said.
It was morning two days later when her best friend Estelle Longhurst called upon her. Immediately, Roberta could tell that Estelle was eager for a gossip session, and she wanted to hear everything.
The truth wasn’t possible, she was constrained by circumstances, but she could share the kiss. As they sat together, heads close, Estelle demanded more and more detail. Her eyes were wide with excitement and perhaps a little envy.
“Well,” she said at last. “I have never kissed a prince, and I don’t expect I ever will. I kissed an earl once, or at least he kissed me, but it was only memorable because he had bad breath.”
Roberta, feeling even more guilty for neglecting her best friend, blurted out, “Will you come to the theater tomorrow night? We are going to see a play about…well, something! I think it is a comedy. Please join us! We have a private box, and everyone will be there. You can come with me and be stared and pointed at.”
It was said humorously, but the truth was, Roberta did not enjoy either of those things.
She had noticed how greatly her life had changed now that she was officially engaged to Niki.
She had become someone to whisper about and to gawk at, and she didn’t like it.
Yesterday, when she and Antonia had ridden in the park in their carriage, she couldn’t help but notice herself being noticed.
A crowd had begun to gather, and it had become quite frightening, and then, to her relief, one of Freddie’s men had arrived on the scene, dispersed the onlookers, and insisted on accompanying them back to Ashton House.
That was the first time it occurred to her that if Niki was in danger, then she might be too.
The realization didn’t seem quite real. Why would anyone harm her?
But the answer was, of course, to get to Niki.
To harm Niki. To overturn Niki’s world and make him vulnerable to attack.
That was what the perpetrator would think anyway, because they believed Roberta and Niki were in love and about to be married.
Roberta told herself this was why she would be relieved when her engagement came to an end and she could go back to living her life the way she liked it.
But in her heart, she admitted that wasn’t true.
She didn’t want to go back. Despite everything, she was enjoying being with him.
She had begun by performing a part, but with every day, it became easier.
And after their kiss, it did not feel like pretending at all.
Estelle clapped her hands and startled Roberta out of her musing. “Oh yes, please! I would love to come to the theater with you.” Her eyes were shining with excitement, and she looked as if she might begin to dance around the room. She had done that before.
“It won’t be very exciting,” Roberta warned. “All very formal and stuffy.”
Estelle tipped her head to one side, eyeing her curiously. “All buttoned up and—and prim and proper. Is that really what the prince is like? I think I am familiar enough with you, Robbie, to know you could never be happy with a man like that.”
Roberta found herself leaping to Niki’s defense. “He’s not always like that. Yes, he might be in public, but not in private. At least not with me.”
Estelle smiled. Why was she smiling in that knowing way? As if Roberta had said something her friend already suspected?
“Well, I will be able to see for myself now, won’t I?” Estelle said and smiled again.
Disgruntled, Roberta was beginning to wish she had not asked Estelle to the theater after all.
She would be watching them all night, and it would only add to the pressure of convincing her that the engagement was real, that she and Niki were actually in love.
She should have remembered that before she spoke, but she had felt guilty for neglecting her friend and had wanted to make it up to her.
It was too late now. She would just have to be on her guard. The thing was, when she was with Niki, she was starting to forget the watching eyes of others and lose herself in his.