Chapter Eighteen #2
He thought he knew how she felt. The dowager had done the right thing, put her home and family first, but how painful must be the regrets!
He knew that once the arrangement with Roberta was over, he would regret that too.
He would wish…But what would he wish? He didn’t dare imagine what foolish thing he might do in a moment of desperate madness in an effort to keep her.
He only knew he must not allow himself. Like the dowager, he must be sensible and remember who he was.
His future was Holtswig, and his wife must be someone approved of by his council.
He must fight against this mad impulse.
Roberta would be making her return journey to London the following day, so when he settled into the coach, he was on his own. Well, Ernest and Freddie Hart were with him. The latter had cadged a ride.
“I have a meeting,” he had said. “You would be doing me a favor.”
Niki didn’t for a moment believe him—Freddie was keeping an eye on him—but he agreed politely enough.
Some of the Ashtons waved farewell from the steps of Grantham, Roberta among them.
He had bid her farewell politely, and despite her smiles and wishes for a safe journey, he had thought her a little flat.
Niki felt the same, but he told himself that was probably just because he was not eager to get back to Aunt Matilda’s house in London where people did not treat him like the Ashtons did.
It was a lie. He didn’t want to leave her.
Before he came to Grantham, he had received a message from Chamberlain Francis Ruess.
Evidently, the members of his council who had been staying in London had sent word back to Francis.
Now he was making the journey from Holtswig to speak with him.
Niki guessed what that would be about. His chamberlain was worried he had become inveigled by the British—he had never trusted them and believed they had designs upon Holtswig.
Other than that, Niki was sure he had a nice, suitable girl ready to step into the shoes of Niki’s wife and mother to his children; someone Francis approved of.
He would be eager to begin promoting their union and extracting Niki from the tentacles of Freddie Hart and his government.
Niki moved restlessly. Francis was old-fashioned.
Holtswig could not stand still, they had to modernize to survive, and they could not isolate themselves from Britain and the rest of the world.
He would have to explain that to his friend and mentor yet again.
But it was the idea of someone other than Roberta at his side that caused him the most anguish.
Ending things with her had begun to feel unbearable, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“I have had word that the young man who tried to shoot you at the theater is still not talking.” Freddie’s words were a welcome distraction, and Niki turned to him eagerly.
“Have you discovered who he is?”
“No, but he isn’t a local. A foreigner, we think. Perhaps from Holtswig. That would make sense. He has admitted to sending you the heart. He seemed proud of it. Said it was a warning.”
“A warning about what?”
“That question he refuses to answer.”
“Can’t you give him a good beating?” Ernest piped up. “That was what Father would have done.”
Freddie looked at him curiously. “Would he? Have you ever beaten a man?”
Ernest hastily shook his head.
Freddie leaned back in his seat, his auburn hair bright against the padded leather, and straightened his cuffs.
“When I was in the army, I saw a man flogged for theft. They wanted him to give up the names of his compatriots so they could be punished too, but he refused. I’ve never forgotten it.
I swore to myself then that I would never use brute strength to gain my objective. ”
Niki was relieved but a little surprised to hear this.
Ernest was right; their father would not have hesitated to hurt someone if it gained him what he wanted.
Then again, if Freddie could not persuade the man to talk, where did that leave him?
He would ask for his chamberlain’s advice.
And it was always possible if the man was from Holtswig, Francis would recognize him.
He looked up and found Freddie watching him. Freddie smiled without humor, and his hazel eyes were hard. “He will talk,” he said quietly. “Never fear, sir, we will get to the bottom of this.”
“The sooner the better,” Niki agreed, but he was uncomfortably conflicted. With this over, there would be no need for Roberta and her government’s protection. In an effort to redirect his thoughts, he said, “You have known the Ashtons for a long time?”
“I have known the duke for a long time,” Freddie corrected him.
“We grew up together, he and Charles and I. They turned out to have aristocratic blood, but not me. I know they have worked hard, I am not saying they have had it easy, but neither have I. What I am today is a self-made man, and I am proud of my humble origins.”
“You were placed in an orphanage, I believe,” Niki said. “Have you ever tried to find your mother? Your parents?”
“Once. I traced them to the poorer part of London but no further. I have wondered sometimes whether my relatives are amongst the rioters causing havoc around the country. I even have some sympathy for those desperate people. They only want what every man does—enough food and money to live a life not ridden with pain and poverty. There but for the grace of God go I.”
He gave a bleak smile.
Niki had no response. He was surprised. Was Freddie saying he would be a rebel too if things had been different? If he was not paid by the government to protect men like Niki, would he be fighting against them?
He had hoped to redirect his thoughts away from Roberta, but Hart’s revelations had made him uneasy. He tried to dismiss his doubts, reminding himself that he had believed Hart to be a man he could rely upon, that he had even put his full trust in him.
And now? He was not so sure.