Chapter Twenty-One
Roberta’s emotions were a tangle of anger and disappointment.
She wasn’t sure what she had expected Niki to do but it was not to suddenly turn into that cold, distant prince.
It was as if he had buried all trace of the man she had thought him to be, the man she had trusted to help Estelle, and chosen to think only of the political benefits and detriments to his country.
He would marry Karl off to some other woman and leave Estelle alone and abandoned in her shame.
How could he? How could he—and she was not proud of herself for selfishly thinking this—do this to her? And when had she begun to allow herself to believe that her wishes should come before his country?
“Roberta,” he said quietly, and she ignored the note of pleading in his voice, refusing to be taken in by it. “I know you are upset—”
“Oh, you can tell that then?” She flashed him a look. “I came to you for help, Niki, and instead you helped Karl.”
He ran a hand through his hair. He no longer looked like the prince of a moment ago.
Niki appeared shattered, but she told herself that she was the one who had been hurt.
“I know it must seem like that to you,” he said, “but Karl is being punished. And he’s being removed from the court and any more mischief he might perpetrate. ”
“I am sure Estelle will find that comforting.”
“I hope she will,” he said earnestly, “because she is not the only woman he has ruined over the years. My father tolerated it, was even amused by it, but I am not. I wish to have a different court from my father. I want to rule over a place that everyone can be proud of and where everyone is safe.”
They were admirable sentiments, and at any other time she might have applauded them, but not right now.
She opened her mouth only to close it again.
She understood his point of view, she was not a fool, but that did not mean she was happy about it.
Indeed, she was so disappointed in him, her heart ached.
Best not to think of the reason for that. Best not to admit she had done something so foolish as to…Roberta cut off the thought before she could finish it.
“I will leave you now, Your Highness,” she said with chilly formality. “I am sure you have much to do.”
“Roberta,” he sighed. “The king is dining with us tomorrow night. You must be present.”
“Must I?” she retorted and made him a deep curtsy. “I think you mistake me for one of your subjects, sir.”
It was satisfying to shut the door a little harder than necessary. Tears stung her eyes, but she told herself they were tears of fury. Why had she imagined Niki would help her friend? Why had she thought she could trust him because she knew him so well?
She had allowed herself to begin to believe she was important to him.
Friends. They had spoken together in an intimate manner, disclosed secrets, and kissed passionately, and it had all been so very nice.
She had truly begun to believe…Well, perhaps she was a fool, but she had never imagined whatever was between them could go so suddenly wrong.
But it had.
Roberta’s loyalty was to her friend, and Niki’s was certainly not to his fake fiancée. She needed to remember this moment. She told herself that this was what it would be like to be married to him. She would always be second if it came to a choice between Niki’s country and Niki’s wife.
She reminded herself how determined she had once been to make her own way in life.
Where had that strong, independent girl gone?
Yes, she had agreed to the engagement for good reasons.
Niki’s life was in danger, and it was exciting.
But she had begun to suspect there was more to it than that.
Some of her infatuation with him had lingered.
Over the past weeks, she had started to wish her engagement was fact rather than fiction.
She had started to imagine herself as Niki’s wife.
Roberta allowed herself to finish her earlier thought.
Best not to admit she had done something so foolish as to fall in love with him.
Roberta groaned, because acknowledging that was both embarrassing and painful.
A servant interrupted her musings, informing her that her coach was outside. Roberta thanked him and went out into the chilly evening air, settling herself in the comfortable interior.
She wondered if she should go back to Estelle and tell her the bad news, but she was tired, and it was late.
She would call upon Estelle tomorrow, and they would work out a plan.
Her stomach dipped at the thought of how far the news of her friend’s ruin would have spread by then.
Roberta closed her eyes, and when the coach came to a stop and she opened them again, she was home.
The footman opened the door, and she avoided his eyes. Servants didn’t judge their betters, but Roberta couldn’t help but feel there was a question in the man’s face. If Gabriel had been here, he would be demanding to know where she had been, but thankfully Gabriel was still at Grantham.
Upstairs, she was grateful to reach her room. The lamp was turned down to a faint glow beside the bed, and she was several steps inside before she realized there was someone curled up on it.
Just for a moment, she thought it was Estelle, but then she saw that it was Antonia.
She sat down on the bed beside her sister and then decided she may as well lie down. Weariness weighed on her, and she closed her eyes just for a moment. She should decide what to do next, but she was so tired. A nap couldn’t hurt, could it?
It felt like only minutes later that she was being shaken awake and Antonia’s wide turquoise eyes were staring down at her beneath her slashing dark brows.
“Robbie! You should have woken me!”
Roberta stretched her arms above her head and looked about her. The light was creeping in under the curtains, and there were sounds of activity elsewhere in the house. Then she remembered. Estelle!
“What time is it?” she demanded, rising to her feet to pull aside the draperies. To her horror, the sun was well up in the sky. She had meant to visit the Longhurst house as soon as politely possible so that she could help her friend make a plan. Instead, she had slept the hours away.
“Roberta.” Antonia was watching her curiously. “I don’t know if you have heard the news, but Miss Longhurst is ruined.”
Roberta turned to glare at her. “Don’t sugarcoat it, will you? I know she’s ruined! I should be there now, helping her, or at least offering her my support.”
Antonia watched as her sister hastily splashed water onto her face and then twisted her hair in a knot at her nape.
“You look as if you’ve slept in your clothes,” she said helpfully, and received a glare for her trouble.
“Yes, well, I have.”
“At least get dressed properly and have some breakfast. You are always…unsettled when you are hungry.”
“By ‘unsettled,’ you mean grumpy,” Roberta said, but she had lost some of her impetus. She sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed. “It is all such a mess. I went to Niki to ask him to help, and instead he arranged for Karl to leave the country and marry someone else.”
Antonia’s eyes widened. They reminded Roberta of a sea she had once heard described as cerulean. “I am surprised,” she said. “I would have thought his helping you would be a certainty.”
Roberta gave an unladylike sniff. “Why? He thinks only of his country and himself.”
Antonia considered that comment. “I suppose he has to. He wouldn’t be much of a leader if he just did whatever he felt like without thinking of the future of his country.”
Why was her sister so measured, so thoughtful in her observations? Roberta wished that just once she would let her emotions rule her. Which was probably what Roberta did when she let the tight rein she had upon herself slip.
“I asked for his help!” she wailed, throwing her arms in the air. “I believed he would help me. My disappointment is quite crushing,” she added, more quietly.
Antonia grimaced. “I know. I’m sorry.”
It occurred to Roberta to wonder why her sister had been waiting for her in her bedchamber last night. She suspected she already knew.
“Justina and Charles came by yesterday evening,” Antonia said, in answer to her unspoken question. “They had already heard the gossip.”
“Already?” Roberta squeaked.
“She was found in an extremely compromising position by some of the worst gossips in London. The news spread like ants in honey. I am very sorry for Estelle, but I think she behaved impetuously and foolishly. Anyone can see Karl is spoiled and selfish and not to be trusted.”
Roberta managed a shaky laugh. “Then you are one of the few females who thinks that.”
“When you didn’t come home, I thought I had better wait for you, in case you needed some support. Or a…a hug.” Antonia cleared her throat. “I know I am not Olivia or Justina, but—”
“You don’t have to be either of them. You are you, and I thank you.” Roberta’s gratitude was heartfelt. “When I saw you asleep, I did feel better. Not so alone. That’s why I curled up beside you.”
Antonia smiled.
Roberta sobered. “I must go to Estelle. I don’t know what I can do but she will need me. Will you come?”
Antonia’s smile widened. “Of course I will!”