Chapter Thirty-One
Roberta woke to Antonia telling her it was time to get up.
She looked about and found herself alone again.
Niki was long gone, if the chilly feel of the sheets on his side of the bed was anything to go by.
She had found herself hoping she would open her eyes and he would still be with her, but she suspected that was never going to happen.
He had work to do, a country to rule, and most of the time, that came before the needs of his new wife.
Besides, she would soon have work of her own to keep her busy.
Despite her nerves about her future, Roberta was looking forward to stamping her mark on Holtswig.
Antonia pulled open the curtains. It was cloudy, but she informed Roberta that Freddie had said the wind was in the right direction. “A swift crossing is what we want, not languishing in the Channel until we are all seasick.”
“I don’t think I will feel seasick,” Roberta said as she rose and went to wash her face in the warm water their maid, Ruth, had brought. “I never did when we sailed on the pond at Grantham pretending to be pirates.”
“Hardly the same thing,” Antonia retorted. She had another book on her lap, and when Roberta asked, she explained it was a dictionary of Holtswigger words.
Roberta’s heart sank. “Everyone there speaks English,” she protested.
“So? That makes it all the more essential that you learn some of the common phrases. Don’t you want your people to love you?”
“Why should they love me?” she said, but the truth was, she was afraid they would not.
She was a foreigner married to their ruler, and if things went as they usually did, she would end up saying or doing something ridiculous.
She would be a pariah then, cast aside by what passed for aristocracy in Holtswig, and even Niki would avoid her.
She blinked and realized that her sister was watching her as if she had read every thought in her head. “It gives me something to do,” Antonia said calmly. “I want to be of use to you.”
“What do you mean? You are my sister, and I need you because…because I just do.”
Antonia smiled and shook her head. “That’s all very well, but I still need to show everyone I am useful. There will be plenty of females chosen to wait upon you. Some might even become your friends; at least, I hope so. I would hate to think of you without someone to talk to.”
It was one of Roberta’s dreads, and she didn’t want to hear it.
“But I have you,” she spoke in a rush. “Have I told you how very glad I am to have you with me? I think it will be difficult—in the beginning, at least—and you know what I’m like when I get nervous.
You will have to remind me to be quiet and to speak sensibly. ”
“Pooh!” Antonia retorted. “Everyone will love you. You’ll see. Just be yourself, Robbie.”
Roberta gave her a wan smile. “But Niki may not love me if I make a fool of him. If that were to happen, and he turned his back on me…I do need to take care, Antonia.”
For a moment, her sister was silent, a pinch between her brows as she observed Roberta. “I think Niki would love you whatever you did,” she said at last. “You underestimate him, Roberta. Or yourself.”
“Do you think he loves me? He has never said so.”
“Of course he does. Anyone can see it. Have you asked him?”
“No, I have not. And I am not going to. It is not something I am comfortable doing.”
Antonia sighed. “Why do sensible people act in such ridiculous ways?”
Roberta shrugged, and went to choose her clothing, signaling that the conversation was over. And Antonia turned back to her weighty tome.
When they had made the journey from Grantham to Dover, Roberta had wondered how Antonia could read in the coach.
Now they were aboard the ship, and Antonia was still reading.
The cabin set aside for Niki and Roberta was supposed to be one of the larger ones, but it was smaller than the room at the inn where they had spent their wedding night.
Antonia scoffed and said that her cabin was even smaller, and she would stay with Roberta, thank you, until Niki came to join her.
“If he does,” Roberta muttered, and then felt ashamed. Niki had promised he would spend as much time with her as he could, that they would ride together. She was looking forward to that.
At least she would have Arrow with her. If Niki could not ride with her, then she would go alone. She had been relieved when Freddie came aboard with them, and when she asked him why, he had said his guard duties were to continue for the time being.
“I am here to watch over you. Well, that is the story anyway. And another pair of eyes cannot hurt when it comes to the prince.”
“As long as you do not report my every word back to Gabriel. I want him to be proud of me.”
He gave her a concerned look. “He is proud of you, Roberta. You must know that.”
Freddie might have spoken more, he had that lecturing expression, but thankfully, the crew began to cast off. The deck became very busy, and Roberta decided she would be safer in her cabin.
Once outside the shelter of land, the fine weather they had been promised turned foul.
Sails flapped, ropes snaked about, and water came over the bulwarks and ran down into the bilge.
The ship began to duck and dive over the waves, sometimes slamming down over the bigger ones so that every board and rivet in the hull shivered.
It felt as if they were about to break up, or sink, or both.
Ruth the maid was on her knees, praying to the Almighty.
Antonia was reading from her book, speaking some of the Holtswigger words out loud.
And Roberta, who had always believed herself an intrepid and unstoppable sort of person, began to feel sick.
Half an hour later, she was sick.
Antonia soothed her and wiped her perspiring face with a damp cloth soaked in lavender water, which at least disguised the awful smell of vomit. At one point, she thought she heard Niki’s voice, but she was too ill to speak to him, and he left her again.
“Your husband says he will give you your privacy,” Antonia said. “I don’t think he is the right person for a sickroom. He went quite green when he saw you. He says he is never sick himself.”
Roberta wanted to laugh but groaned instead. Of course Niki would not get seasick—just her. Even Antonia seemed perfectly fine, but she said Ernest was laid low in his cabin. Selfishly, she was glad there was at least one fellow sufferer.
Eventually, she fell into fitful sleep. During the long hours that followed, she lay on her bunk and wished herself dead.
“Soon,” Antonia assured her. “We will be there soon, and you will feel better.” Roberta did not believe her, but then they reached Calais, the vessel rocking gently on its mooring, and she admitted Antonia had been right.
Roberta could hear feet thumping on the deck and voices calling orders. She wasn’t being sick but she still felt quite shaky, her stomach hollowed out, and she wanted nothing more than to find a nice soft bed and lie in it. As for ever sailing again, well, that would be a no.
Antonia burst in, smiling, and her brilliant eyes found Roberta. She immediately assumed a sympathetic expression. “How are you?” she asked gently. “You look a little better.”
“I am a little better.” Roberta was still feeling very sorry for herself.
“You will be pleased to hear that Niki has arranged for us to stay in an inn tonight. We will start out tomorrow for Holtswig.”
“One night to recover.” Roberta felt even sorrier for herself.
“Come on, up you get,” her heartless sister ordered. “It isn’t far, and there is so much to see!”
With Antonia on one side of Roberta and Freddie on her other, they made their way along the quay and in through a doorway over which a sign swung. Les Trois Cygnes, it said, although why three and why swans, Roberta had no idea.
“I think the owner is from Holtswig,” Freddie said when she spoke her thoughts aloud. “Swans are their national emblem.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” She tried out a smile. “There is a great deal I don’t know. Freddie, I am glad you are coming with me.”
Freddie patted her hand as if she was eighty. “I’m glad I can be of service.”
Roberta’s smile wobbled. “You and Antonia are the only people I know in this whole world.”
It sounded a little pathetic, but she told herself she was still recovering from her seasickness. Antonia and Freddie exchanged a look as they helped her up the stairs.
“You know Ernest,” Antonia retorted, “and Countess Matilda, and her daughters, and her horrible son. And you know Niki.”
“Yes,” Roberta had to admit. “I just…I did not think I would get seasick. I am not that sort of person. I pretended to be a pirate when we were children,” she added for Freddie’s benefit. “We sailed on the pond at Grantham and sang sea shanties.”
Antonia lifted her brows skeptically. “We tied some pieces of wood together, pushed them out onto the pond, and stood on them. And you pretended to be Blackbeard—you had an old wig you found somewhere and tied it to your chin. And you made up the songs.”
Roberta laughed a shaky laugh. “I thought I would make a very good pirate, but now I know differently.”
“I’m sure pirates get seasick too,” Freddie said stoutly.
“Who gets seasick?”
It was Niki, coming up the stairs behind them. He looked weary, but he smiled when he saw Roberta on her feet.
“Pirates,” she said with a grimace. “I used to think I could be one and sail the high seas. Obviously, I am now having second thoughts.”
His dark eyes gleamed, and he smiled that smile he saved for her alone. He leaned in closer, intimately, and said, “I’m glad you are feeling better.”
“So am I.”
“Once you have rested, we will carry on. I am looking forward to showing you my home.”
She tried to make a joke. “Is the roof leaking and the east wing tumbling down? Because that is what I am used to.”
He pulled a pretend regretful face. “Sadly, no, my castle has no leaks or parts that are falling down.”
Roberta sighed, her eyes lingering on his. “Oh well, it will just have to do.”
He laughed in delight, and then glanced at Freddie and Antonia, as if only just remembering they were there. The two of them had been watching the interplay with interest. “I must speak to my men,” Niki said abruptly, and headed back out to the quay.
Roberta and her helpers continued up the stairs. Freddie left them at her door, and then Antonia ordered a bath and helped her undress, although Roberta protested she would rather just sleep.
“You will feel much better for a bath,” her sister said. “You smell a little, Roberta, but I have been too polite to tell you until now.”
Roberta groaned. “Did everyone notice?”
“I’m sure they didn’t,” Antonia said kindly, and her sister groaned again.
Of course, Antonia was right, and the bath was wonderful, and when she was clean and warm, she was presented with a platter of food to nibble on and was surprised to realize how hungry she was.
Replete, she lay down on the comfortable bed, with the salty breeze stirring the curtains and the sounds of the busy port outside, and fell instantly asleep.