22. River
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
River
“What day?” I asked.
But I knew.
“Five years ago. The last time I saw you. You came to my grandpa’s wake. You and I were supposed to have lunch the next day to catch up, and you didn’t show.”
Oh. That. The one last incident I’d avoided explaining to her. Because it was damned embarrassing.
Shit .
I’d been visiting my mother in California. Always a questionable decision, but I did try on occasion to be a good son. Not that Natalia ever noticed.
During that trip, Natalia told me that Charlotte’s grandfather had died. Mrs. McKinley’s dad. The funeral would be held right there in Southern California. My mother was still friends with Charlie’s mom, so I’d gone as well to offer my condolences to the McKinley family.
And to see Charlie. Of course to see her.
The occasion had been somber. A wake was hardly a place to go looking for a date. But Charlie had been so beautiful. Happy to see me. Eager to catch up on what we’d been doing in the last couple years since she and Ross had broken up .
I’d managed to fish for info on her current relationship status. Learned she was single.
I’d already known that my brother wasn’t heartbroken. Neither was she. Their careers had pulled them in different directions.
I’d asked her to have lunch with me. Planned to confess how I felt, even though I had no clue how a relationship between us would work. She was an up-and-coming state legislator. I was a CIA operative, stationed overseas. Nearly every detail of my work top secret.
But to hell with reality, right? I’d wanted to finally unburden my soul.
“I told you why I couldn’t make it to lunch. I got a call that I was needed at Langley.”
“Was that true?”
I swallowed. “Partly. They wanted me back a couple days early from my trip, but not right then.”
That night, I hadn’t slept. Not a minute. I’d called her in the morning, telling her I had to return to DC. I had punked out. And that had been the last time I’d seen or spoken to her.
I dropped my forehead to hers. “I was a coward. I was afraid of what you’d say.”
“I don’t believe that. You’re many things, River, but you’ve never been a coward.”
“That day, I was.” I’d never told a single human being about that failure, not even Trace or Owen. I was too ashamed of it. “Do you think anything would be different if I’d told you then?”
“I don’t know. But I wish I’d known, just so I wouldn’t have been angry at you.”
“I probably would’ve done something else to piss you off. ”
She huffed a laugh and ran her fingers through my hair. “Why was this time different? Why did you finally tell me?”
“I’d like to think I’m braver. Quit the Agency. Joined the Protectors. I have more purpose now than I’ve ever had before. But the truth is that I just ran out of excuses.”
I still didn’t deserve her. But here we were. Naked after an extremely satisfying encounter. I mean, it had been some of my best work.
“I don’t have any dirty secrets left,” I said. “Unless—do you want to see my porn search history?”
She cracked up. “Maybe. Do you want to see mine?”
I growled, rolling her beneath me. “I definitely want to see that. Mind you, I could’ve dug up your internet dirt already, but I was being a good boy.”
Her hand moved down between us, cupping my half-hard cock. “Let’s see how good a boy you can be.”
We made out for a while like teenagers, but without any serious intention of turning this into round two. We were both worn out after a long day. And I was thirty-five. My recovery time wasn’t that short anymore.
Our kisses slowed down, and we snuggled up in comfortable silence. Then she said, “If your brother found out what we’re doing, do you think he’d be able to forgive us?”
My heart jolted in my chest.
“Could go either way.” Charlie wasn’t doing anything wrong. But Ross wouldn’t welcome the news that I was sleeping with his former fiancée. No greeting card for that situation. “It’s not enough to stop me,” I added.
Her brow wrinkled. “Ross looked up to you. But he used to get envious of you sometimes.”
“ Me ?” That was laughable, considering he’d had what I wanted.
“I just don’t want to come between you. And what about the rest of our families?” She rested her head on my chest. “ I’m worried what they’d say. My parents are open-minded. But this would be a lot, right?”
“What are we discussing, exactly? Do you want to tell them?”
“No. No . I…I don’t know. It sounds crazy. We live in the same state now, but your life and mine are so different.”
“That’s true. It does sound crazy. But you make me crazy in the best way.”
“So do you.”
I pushed back her hair, wishing I could see her better in the dark. “Tell me what you want,” I murmured.
“You,” she said automatically. “I think I’ve wanted you for a long time. Even when I couldn’t admit it to myself. But it’s impossible.”
“I know. Because reasons .”
“I hate reasons.”
“So do I.”
Fuck, I hated the truth sometimes. Yet we owed that to each other.
So I closed my eyes and held her in my arms, trying to memorize the exact shape of her there in the dark. And trying not to miss her already.
At dawn, we dressed and packed up in silence. But it was a good silence. Content. No matter what other shit was going down in the world, things were okay between Charlie and me. It was the first time in eighteen years that I could say that.
I’d already checked the encrypted Protectors server using my satphone. No new messages. Nothing from Cerberus either. Like any phone, a satphone could theoretically be traced, but I’d made every effort to be sure mine was as anonymous as possible.
Charlie pulled down the bag of food from the tree we’d tied it in. “Do you want oatmeal?” she asked. “Or a savory breakfast skillet, whatever that is?”
We’d had MREs for dinner last night, and it was MREs for breakfast. “Whichever. I don’t care. It’s fuel.”
“Right, I forgot all you eat is takeout. Someday I need to cook a decent meal for you.”
“Just tell me when and where.”
“How about Hartley? Whenever things have settled down to normal again, and I get time away from the office.” Her eyes lifted, meeting mine. “It would be nice to meet Trace in person, plus everyone else you told me about.”
“I’d love for you to visit Hartley. Anytime.”
“Yeah?” Her shoulders relaxed, and I realized she’d been unsure of my reply. “Even if it’s just as friends?”
“That’s what I assumed,” I said softly. Then added, “I know it’ll be hard to resist seducing me, but soon you’ll have to learn to live without.”
“Such a deprivation.”
“It will be. But not yet.” I slid my arm around her waist, pulling her against me. Dropped a slow, sensual kiss to her mouth.
“Not yet,” she whispered, and shivered all over. “When I get back to work, I’ll probably have a thousand emails waiting for me. And a million internal and police and media interviews to explain everything once this is over. To say the least.”
“Can I visit you in Denver? I’ll swing by and see Hodge too. I owe him a gift basket or something.”
“I’ll take you on an insider tour of the capitol.”
“Deal.”
I let her go, and she handed me the packet of oatmeal. But before she could walk away, I grabbed her hand. “One more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“I do love you, Charlie. Even if all I can be is your friend.”
Her eyes widened. She nodded, probably at a loss for what to say. I just smiled and pecked her on the lips. Then opened my breakfast ration.
After we squared everything away, we set out. Four more miles until we reached the McKinley property. I knew Charlie was sore from yesterday’s hike, but she didn’t complain.
We made steady progress as the sun rose in the sky.
But as we got closer, I slowed us down. I planned to be very careful as we approached. It was possible that Stillwater or the FBI had eyes on the back acres of the McKinley property. Unlikely, but possible. No way was I walking Charlie straight into a trap.
We kept to the cover of the forest as the slope descended. Finally, I found a good vantage point, a rock outcropping that would have a view downhill toward the house. I climbed up, took off my pack, and lifted my binoculars.
“I see the roof and chimney of your parents’ place,” I said softly. “And part of the driveway leading out to the road. No activity.”
Charlie climbed up onto the rocks, keeping low like I was. “The art studio is west of the archery range. Over there.” She pointed, and I followed with my binos.
There was a clearing. A small building with a pitched roof.
“Got it.” I swept the area a few more times, watching. “No signs of life, but the trees are blocking part of the view from here. I need to get closer. You stay here and keep watch.”
“I’ll keep an eye on the driveway. But how do I signal you if anyone approaches the house? ”
I dug into a pocket of my pack. “Use this. It makes a bird call.” We had no comm system, so I’d brought the whistle along as a makeshift signal. “Three quick calls in a row,” I said.
“Will do.”
“Satphone is in the pack. Also a handgun for you and extra ammo.”
“If you see Jud, and he’s alone, then take him.”
“Yes, ma’am. Anything happens to me, get out of here and call for help when you get to a safe place.”
She winced, but didn’t argue. “Come get me before you question him.”
“You got it.” I handed her the binos, gave her a quick kiss, and climbed down.
I kept my weapons with me, plus a few items that would come in handy if I found my target. Everything else, I left at the rock outcropping to retrieve later.
I took a roundabout route to the art studio, watching and listening. The forest seemed relaxed. A gentle breeze blowing, birds chirping without a care in the world.
Memories surfaced in my mind, but I let them pass. This wasn’t the time to reminisce.
A flash of red caught my eye, and I went toward it. An ATV was parked between some trees and covered with a green tarp to hide it.
I moved on to the studio. Dashed across the grassy clearing and pressed my back to the wall. No sounds inside. Through the windows, I spied a sleeping bag unrolled on the ground. The detritus of meals scattered around, some paperback books. A suitcase overflowing with clothes.
Bingo , I thought with a satisfied smirk. Charlie was brilliant.
The studio door was unlocked. A quick sweep of the room and its tiny bathroom confirmed that nobody was home. So, where was he?
I left the studio and made my way toward the main house. A man was visible through the kitchen window, bent over and rummaging through the fridge. He stood, biting into a piece of cheese.
“There you are, asshole,” I murmured, making sure my zip ties were handy.
I’d seen Jud Hale before on Main Street in Hartley. He’d been dressed as a wealthy rancher. Cowboy hat, shiny crocodile boots. Smarmy grin as he glad-handed Hartley residents on the street.
At the moment, Hale wore ratty gym shorts and a tank top. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in a week. But his hair was damp, so I assumed he was freshly showered. He wore a belt with a leather holster for his pistol. I watched him gather a few more food items in a bag, then head toward the back door of the house.
When he stepped outside, I slammed the side of my hand into his solar plexus. He collapsed instantly, gasping. I removed the gun from his holster. Then grinned as he stared up at me in horror.
“Hey there, Juddy. You picked the wrong place to hide.”