Chapter Thirty-Two
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Everyone – apart from Sam – had a lie-in on Sunday.
étienne and the twins arrived in reception moments after Lily herself to find two tables had been pushed together and laden with jugs of juice and baskets of pastries and cereals.
The scent of coffee came from the kitchen and Sam emerged, smiling.
‘What would you like to do today?’ he asked. ‘I can take you anywhere you want in the boat.’
Tania was straight in. ‘Can we go and see the castle?’
‘Cromwell’s Castle,’ Lily clarified for étienne’s benefit. ‘The one you can see from the café and Rock Inn.’
‘I’d like an ice cream at the café,’ Amelie said, adding significantly, ‘ please .’
‘We could do both,’ Sam offered. ‘I need to pick up some supplies from St Mary’s and I want to swing by Aaron’s yard on Tresco. So I could drop you off on the island and pick you up after lunch?’
The plan was set and mid-morning they were on their way along the coastal path from Tresco Harbour towards the castle, swishing at the foxgloves with grass stems. Being out with the girls was a breath of fresh air: leaving Lily a little space to focus on étienne’s revelation the night before.
A plaque explained how the sturdy round turret had been built on the orders of Oliver Cromwell to protect the channel between Tresco and Bryher from invaders.
On the water, yachts lay at anchor alongside Rory’s fishing boat. A couple of paddleboarders sculled their way between the craft and tourists sunbathed on the beach opposite the Rock Inn.
Tania and Amelie climbed the steps onto the castle roof ahead of étienne and Lily. They kept a close eye on them although the girls could only peer through the crenellations.
Tania wandered back to them. ‘Can we live here?’ she asked.
‘What? Inside the castle?’ Lily said with a smile.
Tania’s eyes lit with excitement. ‘ Can we? ’
‘Unfortunately not.’
‘ Fortunately not,’ étienne said. ‘It would be very draughty in the winter without windows or carpets and there’s no WiFi. Besides, how would I work in London at the hospital?’
Tania had the solution. ‘Auntie Lily could live here and we could visit her. So, we can see our friends and go to The Lion King . Then we can come to the castle and Stark at the weekends.’
There you go. Simple. They’ve got it all worked out, Lily thought, hoping their lives would stay as uncomplicated for as long as possible.
Tania scooted off to join Amelie, who had found two substantial wooden sticks someone had left in the castle hearths.
Lily watched them start a sword fight, shrieking with delight. ‘It must be wonderful to be at the age where anything and everything is possible.’
‘It still is,’ étienne said. ‘If you let it be.’
‘Maybe you’re right. You know, Elspeth told me something the other day. As your time shortens you have to be more selective. There’s only so much you can get done, so it had better be the stuff you really want. It focuses the mind. I thought it was a bit morbid but I do understand. I’ve been given a second chance … actually two if you count my fainting episode … because I didn’t listen the first time.’
‘I only needed one wake-up call,’ étienne said. ‘Cara taught me not to waste a moment.’
Lily’s heart squeezed with emotion that was almost too much to bear. She put her arm around him.
They were silent for half a minute, watching the twins running around the castle tower, squealing with glee while they fought off invaders with driftwood swords. The sky was impossibly blue and the channel a palette of greens and blues shimmering over russet rocks.
‘étienne, I’ve realised something else too … I think I already had, even before you told me about Cara last night.’
He turned to look at her yet stayed silent so she could speak.
‘It’s easy to make up a narrative that justifies what you wanted to do in the first place but I didn’t come here looking for excuses to give up working. On the contrary, I came here hoping to tick a box, fend off the people wanting me to take a break – maybe get some sleep.’
He laughed softly.
‘Yet I’ve reached a different conclusion. I can honour Cara’s life not by killing myself to succeed at all costs, but by being a person I’m happy with. By allowing myself to be imperfect and flawed. By letting myself experience other riches in life – freedom, peace …’ The next word formed in her head but dried in her throat. She was still too afraid to say it.
‘And perhaps love?’ he said, keeping his eyes on the horizon. ‘Since I spoke to you, I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time I looked to the future too. Opened my own heart …’
‘Oh, étienne.’ Lily felt tears sting the back of her eyes and the brief brush of his fingers against her forearm.
‘You must tell Sam how you feel,’ he said, an urgency in his voice that she couldn’t ignore.
‘He wouldn’t listen. No, that’s not true. He’d listen but not believe me.’
‘Then you must show him.’
‘What about my other life?’ she said. ‘My real life. I’m afraid that this is a dream I’m going to wake up from.’ She waved her arm at the castle, the blue sky, the sailing boats, the kids wheeling around like gulls. ‘It’s so idyllic, it might be heaven.’
‘It’s not the place you’re afraid of, it’s having your heart broken.’
‘Yes, and I don’t need that on top of everything else. I’ve a big decision to make about the business that’s been weighing on me.’
His brow creased in concern. ‘You’re not in trouble?’
‘No, not trouble. The opposite, in fact. You don’t need to know the details and I think I already know my answer. Only it would affect everyone at the company.’
‘Separate it off. That’s work. This is about you .’ He flattened his palm over the centre of his chest. ‘Look after your heart. The rest will follow.’
Suddenly, like a murmuration of starlings, the children stopped whirling, changed direction and streaked back to them. They spoke as one: ‘Can we go to the Hangman’s Rock?’
étienne’s eyes widened. ‘ What rock?’
‘Hangman’s Rock,’ Tania said. ‘Where they extinguished the pirates. Morven told us about it.’
‘ Extinguished the pirates?’ étienne echoed. ‘I’d like to have seen that.’
Lily had to hold her hand over her mouth.
Amelie nodded solemnly. ‘Yes, that’s what Morven said.’
Lily caught her breath. ‘Morven says a lot of things. You can’t land on that rock these days but you can go to the Rock pub or the café for an ice cream. How does that sound?’
It sounded perfect, judging by the squeals of delight. Even étienne did a little dance, much to Lily’s amusement.
Twenty minutes later, back at Tresco harbour, Sam was adding a large polystyrene container to several others on the Hydra . Sweat glistened on his biceps in the hot June sun. Lily thought back to her first impression of him at the heliport: ruggedly handsome but rather reserved. Now her heart skipped a beat every time she looked at him.
Tania greeted him from the quayside above. ‘Do you like ice cream?’
‘Who doesn’t?’ he called back.
Lily jogged down the steps and onto the boat. ‘Can we pop into the café for some? It’s a more appealing option than trying to climb up Hangman’s Rock … Morven’s been giving the twins a history lesson.’
‘Has she? Wow. Well, I can’t land on the rock,’ he said, adding loudly, ‘so I think it had better be ice cream.’
Everyone had some, and the adults had cold beers before they returned to Stark. Sam took them to explore the island before they massed on the beach around a fire to make scallop kebabs with samphire they’d found by the ruined cottage beach. The sun began its slow descent to the horizon, time was ticking by …
The adults chatted about the islands, about living and working there in the winter. Sam asked étienne about his job in London and Lily told them about the email she’d received from Penny, thanking her for going to the craft fair and saying what a boost it had been. She kept her plans for Lily Loves Scilly to herself. She hadn’t yet worked out the right way to approach the makers without patronising them. Most of all, she wanted to run it by Richie and the team so the decision was a shared one.
Amelie and Tania snuggled between étienne and Lily, wrapped in blankets as damp from the sand seeped into the air. Tania gave a huge yawn.
‘Right. That’s our cue.’ étienne rose to his feet, pulling his daughters up with him. ‘Come on, sleepy heads. Time for bed.’
Amelie protested wearily.
‘We all have a long journey tomorrow and I have to be on the late shift.’
‘Will Lily read to us?’ Tania asked.
‘She has to help Sam clear up.’
‘I don’t mind,’ Lily said.
‘No, you stay here.’ étienne’s tone meant business and she was grateful to him, for giving her permission to have this final time alone with Sam.
‘I’ll look in when I come to bed,’ she said, but she knew they’d be asleep.
That was it, then. Just the two of them alone, drinking beers. Their final evening together. Time was precious, she’d learned that much, but could she summon the courage to do what she’d promised and make the most of it?