CHAPTER 13
Maxie
I slept like crap and then woke up extra early to cook two different breakfasts. It was the morning I took breakfast to one of the local groups who’d asked me for the donation. I laid breakfast out for the Hellstone Ranch and packed up enough to carry to the new ranch for the guys. Then I loaded up the things I’d made to carry to Samantha Drury’s Baptist Women morning meeting. It was too much to carry on Bob so I took my old car and drove into town. It felt like no one else in the world was awake yet and I rolled my windows down to let the chilled morning air rush in and tangle my hair. It was a close second to how riding Bob felt.
I pulled over in front of the Third Baptist Church, named that despite there being no first or second Baptist church in town, and looked at my phone for the time. I was early by a few minutes and Samantha was typically late. Movement from across the street caught my attention and I watched Sugar Moore struggle to climb over the fence behind Steve Samson’s house. From where I was parked, I could tell that Sugar looked like she was doing a walk of shame and a giddy little part of myself, way down deep, imagined what it would be like to call Vera and gossip about it. We didn’t do that, though. I wasn’t even sure Vera liked me.
Sugar finally made it over the fence and she stopped to look around before taking off at a sprint down the street, in the opposite direction to me. I’d heard Vera talking about Sugar and Steve and it seemed like she was right. That, or Sugar had just murdered Steve and was sneaking away after getting it done. She was a dentist, after all.
Before I could condemn the older woman as a murderer, Samantha’s face appeared in my window, causing me to jump. I swallowed down a scream and got out to help carry in the food.
“Thanks, Maxie. You’re a real doll.” Samantha carried one box while I carried the other four. She walked ahead of me, her big hair bouncing with every step. “Speaking of… Have you heard about that club your sister started? Doll’s something or another? Do you know anything about it? I’m trying to get enough information to shut it down. This town has enough dark influences; we shouldn’t have to worry about women going crazy and whipping off their clothes, too.”
I didn’t like lying but I wasn’t going to help Samantha take down a group that Vera and Nellie both seemed to love. They’d even invited me to join them. Not that I would ever, but still.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t heard anything.”
She shot me a look but didn’t argue.
“Oh! While I have you here, I need your help with something.”
I put all the boxes of baked goods down on the entry table and subtly rolled my sore shoulders.
“What is it?”
“It’s a petition. I know we try this every year, but I think we’re going to make it happen this year. You know why?” She held out the easily recognizable petition and grinned at me. “Because we’re going to have you!”
My face paled. The women’s group Samantha was in charge of wanted to change the name of the town and all subsequent schools and mascots. They felt Devil’s Den was sacrilege and that the school mascot, the Devils, was spitting in the face of god. Devil’s Den got its name from my family, though, and I didn’t see anything wrong with it. Changing it would be expensive and a waste of time.
“The blessing of you still being single and without kids is that you have more time to donate to good causes! I know you’ve got the time, Maxie. We just need your help making baked goodies to hand out and it would also really help if a Hellstone family member joined our forces.” She grabbed my arm and squeezed. “It’s brilliant, right? I already told the girls you’d help. Of course, you’ll help. You’re Maxie. You always help.”
“Um… How many baked goods were you thinking?” How did I get out of it? I wanted to flee but the same old anxiety that told me if I walked away, she’d hate me filled me with dread. I didn’t want anyone to hate me.
“Oh, a couple hundred a day for a week or so. Nothing crazy!”
I took a step backwards and gripped my hands together behind my back. I’d moved on from my palms to my cuticles when my palms hurt too much. Four fingers were already bloody.
“Oh, um…”
“It’s a good plan, right?! Thanks, Maxie! You’re amazing.” She patted my shoulder. “Are you staying for the meeting? It’ll probably be boring to you, since it’s just family talk. We love to complain about the husbands.”
Her laughter was like shards of glass hitting me all over. I backed away a few more steps and bumped into the wall.
“Of course, but I should go.”
I hurried back to my car and didn’t stop to let it all sink in before driving to the Mays’ ranch. I parked down the road so the guys wouldn’t hear me and then I snuck up to the porch to leave their breakfast before hurrying back to the section of fence I’d worked on the day before. It was a long walk but it was only after I’d tightened a few pieces of wire that I felt like I could breathe again.
The sky was dark overhead, like a storm was coming, but no one knew where I was and no one could ask for anything. I was alone. Just like always. I glanced toward the shadow of the house in the distance and rubbed at my chest. I was fine being alone. I wasn’t lonely. It didn’t matter what Samantha thought. It was perfectly fine to not have a husband or kids. I didn’t need any of that. I had Bob and he was great.
The sky opened up over me as a summer storm rolled through. I was drenched through in what felt like seconds and wincing as the chilly rain stung when it hit my bare skin. The sun would’ve been barely peeking over the mountains had it not been for the storm clouds and without it, the chill in the air sank deeper and deeper into my bones.
Thunder rolled and lightning cracked across the sky but I didn’t move. I stared up at the sky and let the rain prick my face over and over again until it puddled in the inner corners of my eyes and in the dip over my cupid’s bow. For a second, I wished the rain would wash me away. I was tired and I had the overwhelming sensation of being more invisible than I’d ever wanted to be. No one knew who I was. No one cared. As long as the things I did continued to get done, I could fade away and no one would notice.
Tears mixed with the rain, leaving warm streaks until the rain regained control. My entire life felt like a carefully constructed box. I felt trapped in my coffin decades before I should’ve been. It should’ve been easy to break free; my parents were gone. It wasn’t easy, though. Change was so terrifying that even thinking about taking a step back from the tight box I lived in made my heart race painfully.
I never allowed myself to break for long so it was only a few minutes of thinking about the what-ifs before I got back to work. My tools slipped from my hands and I scratched myself against the jagged wire more than once but I’d finished a long section of fencing before lunch. Then, like the perfect sister I was, I got back in my car, soaking wet, and drove back to the family ranch to change clothes and cook lunch.