CHAPTER 21
Maxie
“We need fucking curtains.”
I opened my eyes and winced at the hot sun pouring in through the six-foot-tall windows. Had I been sleeping through that amount of sunshine every morning? How many mornings? My brain struggled to get started but as I processed what had woken me up, Rhett’s voice, it kicked my brain into overdrive. Rhett was in my bed. Technically, it wasn’t my bed, I guessed, but he was in the bed I was sleeping in.
I slowly rolled my head to the side and the sight of him stretched out next to me was a lot for my poor mind to handle. On his back in just a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, Rhett had his arms folded behind his head with so many arm muscles on display that I felt my mouth water. Even the small tufts of hair in his armpits were somehow attractive. His eyes were still closed tight so I had the chance to check out the tattoos covering his upper chest and arms.
I recognized traditional Navy tattoos, not unlike the ones my brothers bore, and several I wanted to trace with my fingertips to find where they ended. The crisp black lines were beautiful over his tan skin and I wondered for a moment what I would look like with a tattoo. My mother hated tattoos. Even her golden boys, Mills, Tate, and West, hadn’t escaped her harsh judgement for the tattoos they’d brought home. The tattoo I’d want came to me instantly, and no matter how much I knew it would never happen, I couldn’t help picturing the art I’d want of Bob’s handsome face. He was where I felt the safest. He would be the only thing I’d want on my skin forever.
Bob. I sat up with a gasp and already had one leg out of the bed when Rhett’s arm snapped out and wrapped around my waist to tug me closer to him. He only seemed satisfied once I was half on top of him. His eyes stayed closed but his lips were tipped up in a sexy grin.
“It’s too early for you to start worrying about things, Maxine.”
I braced myself with my hands on either side of his head and he didn’t hesitate to adjust me so that I was completely on top of him, my knees on either side of his hips. I sucked in my stomach and arched my back so I wasn’t resting my weight on him.
“Rhett!”
Like he could sense what I was doing, he wrapped his arms around my back and tugged me down. Once I was fully splayed out on top of him, he grunted and kissed the top of my head.
“That’s more like it.”
I chose to ignore the pulsing need exploding between my thighs and focused on not crushing him.
“Rhett, stop. I don’t want to hurt you.”
His eyes popped open and squinted against the sun. He scowled at me even as his hands settled on my hips and held me firmly against him.
“How the fuck are you going to hurt me?”
I swallowed, suddenly very nervous. I was straddling him in a bed and I could feel him harden against my core in a way that felt both terribly taboo and terrifically erotic. It all felt like a prelude to something bigger.
“Fuck this.” Rhett moved so fast I barely had time to panic before I was spread out beneath him, the blanket that had separated us tossed to the floor. He settled his weight between my thighs and tangled his hand in my hair.
“You don’t get how beautiful you are, do you? Not just beautiful, though. You’re painfully sexy, Maxie. Ten years ago, I kept it in my pants because you were too young for us. You’re not too young for us anymore. You’re making it very hard for me to play nice and keep my dick in my pants. Especially when all I want to do is spread you out and lick you from head to toe.”
He was very hard between my thighs and pressing against me in just the right way to make my toes curl. My arms were limp against the bed over my head but I couldn’t not touch him. I slowly brought my hands to his shoulders and ran my fingers over them. I heard his soft intake of breath and looked up at him, intrigued by just how wide his pupils had gone.
“You want to touch me, sweetheart?” He waited until I nodded to roll us over so I was on top again. “Then touch me. I’m yours, Max.”
I sat up and stared down at him, amazed by the man beneath me. He had no idea how intoxicating his words were; he couldn’t. I’d dreamed about him being mine for too long, even when I hated myself for it. I knew he wasn’t, not really, but that didn’t stop me from touching him like he was.
I started by slowly running my fingertips over the designs of his tattoos. When one of the lines took my finger past his nipple, I heard the way his breathing changed and moved back, wanting that sound again. Stroking my finger around his nipple and then over it, I glanced up at his face and saw his jaw was tight and his eyes were squeezed shut.
“I’m sorry. I… Does it hurt?”
He grabbed my hand when I tried to pull away.
“It doesn’t hurt.”
It seemed like he was in pain but I selfishly didn’t want to stop touching him. I moved to his other nipple and gasped when he rocked his hips, nudging his hardness against the bundle of nerves that seemed to be driving me that morning. I liked that feeling. A lot. I rocked my hips forward and back again, chasing it.
“Don’t stop, Maxie.” His voice was strained as his hands landed on my hips and squeezed. “Don’t you dare stop.”
I changed my movements so I was rolling my hips over him and I pressed my flattened hands against his chest hard as I found the spot he’d teased again and again. Shivers went up and down my spine as I tipped my head back. The feeling was bigger than anything I’d ever felt before. I’d secretly touched myself a few times but it’d never felt like how I felt right then, like I was flying across open land on the back of Bob, the silence in my brain only outdone by the happiness and sunshine filling me from the inside out. Riding Bob was cathartic and freeing. Riding Rhett, and I accepted that that was exactly what I was doing, was wild but I felt more secure than I’d ever felt with his hands grasping my hips so tight.
“Fuck, Maxie.” Rhett reached up and grabbed my hair, using his grip to pull me down so our foreheads were pressed together. “Come for me, sweetheart.”
“I don’t think—”
“It’s not up for debate, baby. Come on me.” His growl of a command and the way his normally bright blue eyes were practically black made me feel like I was on top of a beast barely hanging onto its grip on humanity. It should’ve scared me. It didn’t.
I sucked in a sharp breath and held it as the wildness inside me grew larger, strangling out everything that wasn’t pleasure. It consumed me little by little until I felt the first twitch of an orgasm tighten my muscles. It was wrong. It was bad, what I was doing. I needed to stop. The quiet voices were no match for the loud moan that escaped my lips and filled the room. I gripped handfuls of the bedding under us as my body went stiff and then melted all in the same second.
“Fuck!” Rhett bucked against me as the muscles in his neck pulled tight. His grip on my hip was bruising but I didn’t care. Everything felt too big, too good to think of bruises or other consequences. My world had narrowed to just him and the way he’d made me feel.
My body turned to goo as the pleasure turned from a scream to a whisper and I collapsed on top of Rhett, unable to move even if he’d shouted that I was crushing him. It was impossible when my bones had melted.
Rhett panted under me as his pained expression turned into one of bliss. His big body went soft under me, everywhere but where I’d just ridden him. That part was still very much hard.
“I’m gonna marry you one day, sweetheart. You know that right? You just made me come in my fucking pants like a boy and the only way I’m going to get past that is if we go ahead and commit to forever.”
My heart pounded even harder.
“Shut up.”
He groaned.
“If you try to leave now, I’m going to be forced to crawl after you on my hands and knees. Shit, sweetheart. Being inside you is going to kill me.”
I still managed to blush, even after what I’d just done. I couldn’t admit I was a virgin. It was humiliating. I also wasn’t going to be stupid and let myself believe that one soft moment with him meant they cared about me or would stay. That had nearly destroyed me the first time but I was ten years smarter. At least I hoped I was.
It took longer than I thought it would for the shame to hit. When it didn’t hit as fast or as strong as I expected it to, I felt more shame over that. I had my mother’s voice in my head, chanting at me that no one would buy the cow if the milk was free. She’d loved to say that and then laugh like her calling me a cow was an inside joke between the two of us.
I scrambled to climb off Rhett and then stared down in horror at the mess I’d left on his pajama bottoms. The wet spot was like a beacon of my shame, lighting up and flashing that I’d done something horrible. Before I could flee the room, Rhett was there, grabbing my upper arms and holding me still.
“Stop.” He nodded down at his pants, making me cringe. “That’s a fucking badge of honor. I turned you on enough for you to soak me. I feel like a fucking god. I’m going to wear these until I have to change for work because it’s sexy as fuck that you came for me like such a good fucking girl. I don’t know what’s going through your mind right now but you need to knock if off and accept that what’s happening between us is normal. You just made my entire week with that little joy ride, Maxine, and you’re not going to dirty it up with whatever bullshit shame your mother forced on you. You’re a goddamn virgin, Max. There’s nothing dirty about you. You don’t need to feel anything right now but pleased that you just came and caused a grown man to come in his pants.”
My mouth dropped open. “How…?”
“You told us at the clinic while confirming that you weren’t pregnant.” He slid his hands up to cup the sides of my neck. “You need to shed whatever shit your mom put on you. Let us help.”
“I need fresh air.” I ran as soon as he let me go and didn’t stop until I was in the middle of the driveway, chest heaving as I tried to make sense of how fast my life was changing.