Chapter 17 Alex #2
“He was kind of weaving down the aisle and shouting nonsense,” Bella said. “I spotted a flask in his back pocket.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger against the throbbing headache that had suddenly appeared.
“He was just at the attorney’s office with me.
” That was neither here nor there, other than he hadn’t seemed drunk then. Hungover maybe, but not drunk.
Esme’s voice trembled. “He cornered Grace and shoved her into a display of dried pasta.”
“I wasn’t hurt, Alex,” Grace said. “I promise.”
At the sight of her sweet, innocent face, something in me broke loose. “That bastard. I swear to God, I’ll kill him.” The words tore from my throat, more of an animal growl than that of a human.
“By the time I got there, Bella had her pulled free,” Esme said. “He was shouting. Threats. Ugly ones. But he seemed too drunk to really do anything. The store manager called the police, but Darren bolted before they got there. They took our statements and said they’d check the security footage.”
“It was scary, Alex, but I’m totally fine,” Grace said, bottom lip trembling. “Please, don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad at you, sweetheart.” I let out a tremendous sigh. “At either of you. I’m just scared.”
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Bella said, crying. “This is all my fault.”
“Come here. Both of you.” Gillian held out her arms, folding the girls into an embrace.
The edges of my vision blurred. I turned away before I said anything I couldn’t take back, pacing the length of the small porch like a caged animal. My fists ached from how hard I was clenching them.
He’d touched Grace. An innocent child who had nothing at all to do with Darren or this situation. And he’d put his filthy hands on her. He’d shoved her.
I gripped the railing, forcing breath into my lungs, but it didn’t ease the storm.
Every muscle in my body screamed to go find him, end this myself.
But the other voice—the one I couldn’t drown out—whispered that this was my fault.
That if I hadn’t dragged my mess of a past into Gillian’s life, her girl wouldn’t be trembling in her arms right now.
“Alex, let’s go inside and talk this through,” Gillian said behind me, her voice careful, steady, like she was trying to anchor me.
But I couldn’t turn to her. Not yet. Not when the only thing keeping me from exploding was holding onto the damn railing. I bowed my head, jaw clenched so hard it hurt. I wanted to protect them. To fix this. But all I could see was Darren’s smirk in that conference room, and Grace’s white face.
“Take the girls inside,” I said, hoarsely. “I need a minute.”
All four of them did as I asked, Bella and Grace holding hands as they slipped inside. Esme and Gillian with linked arms. Women understood innately how to take care of each other. But what about me? How was I failing this badly at looking after the people I loved most in the world?
And I had a terrible thought I couldn’t shake—maybe the only way to keep Gillian and Grace safe was to step out of their lives before Darren could do any more damage.
I stood frozen on the porch, my grip on the railing so tight my knuckles had gone bloodless.
“Alex.” Gillian’s voice came from behind me, gentle. “Come inside.”
I pried my fingers loose and followed her in. Socks slunk past us into the hallway, tail low, perhaps sensing the tension crackling through the air. Or maybe he knew the truth. I brought nothing good to this house.
Gillian closed the door and turned to face me, taking my hands. “Talk to me, please. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” The words came out strangled. I tried again. “I’m fine. I want to be fine. Gillie, I can’t stand the thought of him touching Grace. I want to kill him.”
“He didn’t really hurt her, though. She’s fine. She’s tough. Like me.”
“Why can’t he just take the money and leave us alone? This is my fault, though. All of it.”
“You couldn’t have known he would follow the girls.” Gillian let go of my hands and wrapped her arms around my neck. “This is all him, not you. You’ve done everything right.”
A bitter laugh tore out of me. “No, that’s not right. I’ve brought this poison into your life. Into Grace’s too.”
“Alex—”
“What if she’d been truly hurt?” My voice rose, fraying at the edges. “What if he decides to hurt you to get to me?” I could barely breathe. My chest was too tight, the air too thin.
“Stop.” Gillian pressed herself against me, but tilted her head to look into my eyes.
“None of that’s going to happen. Think about it for a moment.
He assaulted a child in the grocery store.
The cops will look at the footage, and he’ll be arrested.
It’s yet another example of why they would never give the kids to him. ”
“This is such a mess.” I lowered my gaze to the hollow of her neck.
Part of me wanted to bury my face in her hair and let her hold me together.
The other part, perhaps louder, wanted to bolt, to remove myself from her life.
For her own sake. But she was right. The cops would surely go after him. Then what?
“This is all drama you don’t need in your life.” I gently took her arms from around my neck and went to the window, looking out at the lush, tidy flower garden in front of her cottage. “You and Grace deserve better.”
She came to stand behind me, her voice soft but urgent. “I’m here because I … I love you. I’ve always loved you. And we have a second chance. Don’t let Darren ruin it. We’ll get rid of him one way or another.”
She loved me? I loved her too. Everything I’d felt for her all those years ago had returned the moment I saw her again. Giving in and letting her love me, though? Was it right? For her? For Grace? For my kids?
“Maybe the safest thing for you and Grace is for me to step away. Until this is over.”
The silence behind me stretched so long I thought she might agree. Then I heard her breath hitch.
“Alex, no. It’s a miracle we found each other again. Don’t leave me. Not a second time.”
I whirled around to look at her. She stood a foot away, arms crossed, eyes blazing with something between fury and heartbreak.”I didn’t leave you. I had to let you go. Maybe I have to do so again.”
“This is different than when we were kids,” Gillian said. “We have choices now. We can choose each other.”
“I feel so overwhelmed and afraid. Out of control. I don’t know how to fix this.”
“You can’t always make everything bend to your will,” Gillian said.
“You’re smart enough that you almost always find a way to get what you want—but this time it’s not fully in your control.
I understand how frightening this all feels, but he’s no match for you.
Or for any of us. The kids will all be fine.
They’re resilient. Look at everything they’ve already been through. ”
“You don’t understand what men like Darren are capable of—”
“Oh, I most certainly do. Have you forgotten my childhood? The men my mother used to bring into our home? I know exactly who he is.” She stepped forward, closing the gap.
“Don’t run away from me. I didn’t think it was possible to need a man, but I need you.
I do. Please, have a little faith in yourself. In us.”
“If he hurts any of you, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Gillian’s expression softened. She reached up, her palm cupping my jaw. “He’s not going to hurt us. The only one who could do that is you—giving up on us and walking away.”
I leaned into her touch, my eyes closing. “What if I’m not enough? For any of you?”
“You’re enough, Alex. I promise.”
I wanted to believe her. God, I wanted to. But standing there in front of this exquisite, generous woman who had handed me her heart as if I were deserving of it, I wasn’t at all certain.
“Do you love me, Alex?” Her green eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
“Yes, Gillie. More than I could ever say.”
“Then that’s your answer. Love always wins in the end. You’ll see.” She swiped at a wayward tear from her cheek. “Now, get yourself together. We have to be strong for the kids.”
I knew then exactly what to do. Gillian and Grace would be safe at my house. “You and Grace should come stay with us for a few days. I have a gate, security cameras, alarms.” I swallowed hard. “He won’t get near you there. I won’t be able to breathe knowing you’re here without protection.”
“I have to teach tomorrow,” Gillian said. “Grace was supposed to spend the day with Annie and Delphine. Are we supposed to live in a bubble?”
“Just for a few days. I’ll call Ben. Get his take on things. Please, I’ll feel much better if you’re both with me.”
After a beat, she nodded. “All right. It’s unlikely he would come here to my home, but it would make me nervous for Grace and me to be here alone. Now listen to me—we have to show the kids that everything’s going to be fine. I’m talking a normal dinner. A swim in your pool. Fun.”
The knot in my chest eased, just a fraction. “Yes, you’re right.”
Her fingers brushed mine. “I bet he’s already being picked up by the police. This will all be over soon.”
I really hoped she was right, but I had a bad feeling that it wouldn’t be as easy as she imagined it to be. Not with Darren.