Chapter 3
Three
JOSEPHINE
Until the day I die, I’ll never be able to explain how I got here.
The library, I remember.
The walk to the car is perfectly clear.
The supermarket is a bit of a blur. Even so, very memorable.
It’s not until we’re back in the car that the details get fuzzy. Actually, it might have been Ellis letting me down on the asphalt beside the passenger door.
Our entire time in the store couldn’t have been longer than ten minutes, and yet when it was over… It’s like we got used to touching each other, and we didn’t want to stop.
I remember my back hitting the car, the sound of a paper shopping bag hitting the ground and the way he kept his eyes on my face to gauge my reaction as he lowered his lips to mine. Whatever he’d seen there must have been confirmation enough.
It’s after that when the details blur together.
“ Christ , Josephine.” My lower belly twists at the rough, hungry way he groans my name. We’re in the backseat of his car, cloaked in darkness, and come to think of it, I really don’t care how we got here.
My clit has a pulse, my dress is bunched up over my hips and my thighs are spread wide over his lap. Beneath me, Ellis is palming my ass, muttering words of praise in between kisses so desperate they make my toes curl.
I’m not in control of myself, and I get the sense he isn’t either. This is instinctual, my body responding to his in a way that I’ve never experienced before.
“You feel so good,” I pant, enjoying the sight of his neat hair mussed up from my hands and the look of naked desire on his face. His hands drag up my sides to my breasts.
Ellis groans .
The obvious effect I’m having on him only makes me more eager, more willing. Liquid heat is pooling between my thighs, soaking through my panties and probably his pants too. My inhibitions are nowhere to be found, and all I can think about now is getting closer to him.
Like he knows, Ellis reclaims my lips in a bruising kiss, and one hand dips between us, brushing tentatively over my cloth covered sex.
My gasp is drowned out by the rough, animalistic noise he makes. “You’re so wet.” He presses a little harder and swallows my moan as he begins to stroke me. The light from the street is muted by the tinted windows and a new layer of fog on the windows that definitely wasn’t there earlier. We’re in our own world.
“I never do this,” I admit, my breathy voice breaking as he finds my clit, rubbing in firm circles through the slick cotton.
Ellis grunts, his breathing heavy as he pauses in his ministrations. Through the hazy light, his eyes meet mine. “We don’t have to.”
Sex. He means we don’t have to have sex. I know we don’t have to, even having only met this man a few hours ago, I’m positive he wouldn’t lay a finger on me if I didn’t want it. He definitely wouldn’t do this if he knew I hadn’t before.
I want to, though. Maybe it’s reckless, and a little stupid, but everything inside me is screaming “yes!” and for once, I’m going to listen.
Holy shit, I’m doing this. Finally.
Holding his gaze, I reach between us, palming his thick erection through his slacks. It twitches under my touch, and Ellis’s lips part, his fingers moving more firmly over my clit. For a moment, the only noise in the car is our ragged breathing and the rustling of fabric.
“I want to,” I whisper, realizing he was waiting for my consent.
Wow, that’s so hot.
I suck in a startled breath when my panties are hooked to the side and cool air hits the arousal coated lips of my pussy. “You want me to touch you here?” Ellis murmurs, his voice a dangerous purr. He strokes the skin along my seam without pushing further, his touch featherlight and agonizing.
Helpless to do anything else, I nod.
He doesn’t move his eyes from my face as he presses forward, finding my clit with his bare fingers. I squeak. Ellis groans. “Is all this for me, mon amour? Have I made this pretty little pussy wet?”
“Yes,” I whimper, and another gasp rips from my lungs when he lowers his fingers and pushes them smoothly past my entrance, filling me.
My hand is still between us, pressed to his cock, and I feel it twitch. “You’re so goddamn tight. Merde , we’ll have to go slow. I need to get you ready.” There’s no mistaking the hunger in his expression at the prospect. “I’ll make you feel so good, Josephine. You’ll come on my cock like a good girl, won’t you?”
His praise does something to me. Wetness floods over his fingers and the muscles below my bellybutton tighten while my thighs go loose.
Interest flickers behind his darkened gaze. With maddening control, almost gently, he begins to finger me. I lean back until I hit the driver’s seat, offering more space for him to work. God , it feels so good.
“Ellis,” I whisper, forced to stop stroking his cock so I can hold on to the head rest behind me.
His fingers move faster, curving them to brush a spot that makes me tighten up all over. He’s found a rhythm that seems to be dragging the orgasm from my body so much faster than I was prepared for, and through the darkness, I see his lips curl. “You liked me telling you what a good girl you are, didn’t you?”
I’m starting to shake. “Yes!”
He groans. “You like knowing how hard you make me? How much I’m going to enjoy this?”
His words are hitting me so hard. Without realizing it, I’ve started squirming and bucking into his touch, pushing myself down on his hand in my eagerness to come. “Yes!” I cry again, too loud. If anyone happened to be walking by the car, they’d know exactly what we were doing in here, fogged up windows or not.
Ellis groans. “Come on, mon amour . Come for me. My cock aches. I need you to make it better. You’ll do that for me, won’t you? You’ll take the ache away?”
Another yes, this one high and keening, my arousal soaking his hand as he works me closer, two fingers inside me and his thumb on my clit. I was already close, but his words have sent me spinning off toward something much more powerful.
I’m in a trance, completely at the mercy of my need for him. Ellis’s tongue darts out to wet his lips, and fisting the back of my hair with his free hand, he drags me back to kiss him.
Almost without warning, I come. It’s nothing like any orgasm I’ve had by myself. This is intense and overwhelming, forcing me to buck and grind against the hand between my legs, my choked moans swallowed by the man it belongs to.
Nearly the moment I come down, trembling, Ellis lifts his shining fingers to my lips. “Clean me up, mon amour . Then we’ll get that sweet pussy filled, yes?”
Yes. Absolutely, one-hundred percent yes. Any qualms I had about abandoning my too-old-virgin status are long gone. I want this.
He watches as I suck my own release away, dragging my tongue over his fingers to ensure I get every drop.
I want to do it perfectly for him.
Ellis hums in approval, but as he lowers both hands his belt, his expression transforms from hungry to horrified. He curses. “ Damn —I… I don’t have protection.”
Almost in unison, we look to the store, just in time to see the front lights flicker off, a sign they’ve closed for the night. This isn’t happening. This isn’t seriously happening, is it? But then I gasp and lean sideways through the space in the seats, fumbling with my purse on the passenger side.
“Yes!” I pull my hand out of the side pocket, lifting the tiny silver packet I found there victoriously. “From the people always handing them out on campus.” I giggle as Ellis fumbles with his belt eagerly, looking extremely relieved.
“I would have gone door to door begging,” he grunts, and I stare between us, watching as he frees his cock. He’s tall and well built. I should have known he wouldn’t be a small man, but still, the thick length jutting into the space between us is intimidating.
That’s going inside me?
I watch, heat spreading through my core as he rolls the latex over his length, the sound of our heavy breathing filling the car.
“We’ll go slow,” he promises, and—still half expecting to wake up and find myself alone—I lift onto my knees, allowing him to guide our bodies into alignment.
Will he be able to tell I’ve never done this before?
“This is what you wanted, yes?” he murmurs, nipping at my bottom lip. “Take it, mon amour . Sit on my cock. Let me have it.”
We kiss slowly and my hands grip his shoulders as I begin to lower myself onto his cock. It’s… a lot. Too much. Everything.
“Ellis.” My voice breaks and I cling to him, every muscle in my body tensed around the intrusion.
He kisses me as we pause, making out with his cock barely inside me. My body seems to be relaxing though, and I need to make him feel good. Without giving myself time to tense up, I let my pelvis drop, impaling myself.
He swallows my noise of shock.
It hurts, my walls are stretched too far, I’m burning and I don’t know if I can hide it. Ellis seems to know, though, because his fingers find my clit, rubbing in gentle circles. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut. “You’re just… you’re really big.”
“Don’t apologize . I’ve never— Jesus Christ —you’re tight.” His voice is strained, and his free hand is pushed up beneath my dress, clutching my waist. “You’re doing so well, Josephine. Take your time.”
His praise helps. I melt against him, relieved. I’m not sure why it’s so important to me that he doesn’t realize it’s my first time. Maybe because I want him to see me as a real possibility, a woman he might fall for, not an immature college student.
I like him so much.
The pain is starting to fade, and his touch on my clit is spreading pleasure through my abdomen. “Okay,” I whisper, wiggling in his lap. Ellis groans.
My fingers bite into his shoulders as I find a tentative rhythm, rising and falling over him, my eyes all but rolling back every time my butt lands on his thighs.
“Is this okay?” I whisper, my forehead pressed against his, our lips brushing.
His strained laugh passes through him and into me. “ Mon amour , nothing has ever felt this good. I’m losing my mind. Tell me how to make you come. I need— god, that’s so good —I need to make you come. This won’t last as long as I’d like it to.”
For some reason, this turns me on even more. I’m surrendering to this, to him, and my noises of pleasure grow louder as I start to move faster. Ellis’s fingers are flying over my clit, as I give in to what I need.
It is so good. I want to do this again and again, to learn exactly what he likes, exactly how to turn him on and drive him insane.
“Such a good girl, riding me so well. Come for me,” Ellis orders through clenched teeth. “Squeeze my cock.”
No more encouragement is needed. I do exactly as he says, coming so hard that my entire body shakes and my eyes squeeze shut, too overwhelmed by the pleasure surging through me to think of keeping them open. Ellis is in control, his hips lifting off the seat, drilling into me from below. It’s rough and fast, filling the car with the sound of our skin slapping together, and then it’s over before I’ve fully recovered from my orgasm.
With a low curse, he pulls me down, sealing us together as his length twitches inside me, filling the condom with his release. I watch, panting, hypnotized by the way his jaw locks and his breath stutters .
“Jesus.” He lets out a choked laugh. “That was, ah , unexpected?”
I giggle, warm all over as Ellis pulls me close, kissing my neck, my collar bone, my lips. His cock is still inside me, softening, and with a reluctant sigh, I lift off him, pulling my clothes back into their rightful places as he removes the condom, shoving it into an empty water bottle from the floor of the car.
There’s an ache between my legs from what we just did, and I have to fight a smile as he pulls me sideways back into his lap, kissing me deeply. “Should we actually eat now?” I ask, beaming up at him when we finally break for air, our foreheads still pressed together.
Ellis lets out an amused huff, then, as if he’s remembering something, stiffens. Shoving a hand into his pocket, he pulls out his phone and we both stare at the screen. It’s 10:05.
“Damn it,” he hisses, turning his apologetic gaze to mine. “I have to go. I’m late.” He must see the look on my face, the horror—because who has plans at ten o’clock at night?—as I realize we never discussed whether either of us was seeing someone. His throat bobs, and he shakes his head, dispelling my unspoken assumption. “I, ah, have a daughter. The babysitter is waiting.”
Oh. Okay. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. This isn’t something I would discuss with a guy my age. Having kids definitely isn’t on most Weston student’s radar, but Ellis is older. It was probably silly of me not to think it was a possibility. Should it bother me? Or at least put me off? Probing my own feelings, I find that it isn’t. I love kids. Definitely not a deal breaker.
“I understand,” I assure him, because I do. Of course, if he has a babysitter, he can’t stay out all night.
“I’ll take you back to the party,” he promises, and we stumble out of the back seat into the quiet parking lot. There’s no one in sight except a couple standing at the bus stop down the street, and Ellis stoops to retrieve the bag of sandwiches we left abandoned on the ground with a sheepish smile.
As we pull out onto the street, I smile over at him, suddenly shy. “Thank you for tonight. I… well, I really needed it.”
“I did as well.” He reaches across the center console to take my hand, squeezing it. “For the record, this isn’t something I do either.”
Yeah, I got that impression. Especially now that I know he’s a father. Tentatively, I smile. “What’s your daughter’s name?”
I can tell he wasn’t expecting that question. He glances at me as we roll to a stop at an intersection, eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Zoe,” he finally replies with a hint of pride that makes my heart squeeze. “She’s six.”
Dr. and Dr. Tran’s twins are a little older than that. I babysit for them a lot during the school year, and it’s pretty much the highlight of my week. “What is she into lately? Princesses? Or is she out there defying gender stereotypes?”
Ellis chuckles. “Not Zoe. Anything pink or sparkly is good with her. I found a recipe for sparkle paint on the internet and we did her room a few weeks ago. I let her pick the color at the store and it’s… bright .”
I laugh at the pained fondness in his voice. “If you sell your house, the new owners are going to hate you. That’s awesome, though. Where was pink sparkle paint when I was six?”
My heart falls when we turn, and I realize we’re back on my street. A few cars are still parked along the sidewalk, and lights are on inside the house. Likely, my parents haven’t even realized I left. It’s only been an hour or two, and I feel like a new person. The kind of person who’s bold and strong, who goes after what she wants and takes it without apology. I love it .
Ellis pulls over and puts the car in park, looking over at me with his lips turned down. “I suppose this is goodnight.”
Be bold, Jo.
I hold out my hand. “Let me see your phone.” He obeys, unlocking it and handing it over. Neither of us speaks as I open his phone app and create a new contact for myself, adding a little sandwich beside my name as an afterthought. “Goodnight,” I tell him when I’ve handed it back.
A large hand curls around the back of my neck, pulling me in to meet his lips. It’s slow and sweet, the kind of kiss I would have expected to be our first if we hadn’t gone so feral for each other.
No regrets.
Feral is awesome.
His hands linger on me even after we break apart, and my smile is huge as I get out of the car, starting down the sidewalk. Ellis pulls away a moment later, and I watch his car until it vanishes around the corner. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s illogical and romantic and probably stupid, but I can’t shake these big, unfamiliar feelings that have come out of nowhere.
This is the start of something.