Epilogue
JOSEPHINE
5 YEARS LATER
“I want a sister.”
The car door slams heavily as my step-daughter pulls it closed, dumping her backpack on the floor at her feet.
I blink. “What?—”
The orange vested school pick-up attendant waves at me impatiently and I put the car in drive, staring straight forward as we inch toward the exit of the parking lot. The local high school where I work is located adjacent to the middle school Zoe attends, and lets out thirty minutes before her last class ends for the day. Ellis is at work until five, so this is our typical family routine.
Minus the sibling request.
“So, what brought this up?” I ask conversationally, glancing at Zoe, who is staring at the screen of her brand new cell phone, completely expressionless.
She shrugs. “Callie has a sister, and she likes her. Margo’s brother is disgusting, so I don’t want one of those.”
My heart seems to be beating faster than usual as I fight to keep my expression impassive. “Even if Papa and I were to have a baby, we couldn’t control if it were a boy or a girl, honey girl.”
Zoe wrinkles her nose. “Whatever.”
Whatever is a recent addition to her vocabulary and seems to be getting used with increasing regularity as we enter her pre-teen years. It’s not my favorite.
I blow out a long breath, still reeling. In truth, Ellis and I have never put that much consideration into having a baby. We were both only children, and with Miranda’s still inconsistent presence in her daughter’s life, I didn’t want Zoe to feel displaced or worried that I would love my biological child more than her. We concluded that when we move to France and our lives settle down a little, we would revisit the discussion.
It’s been five years, though, and while we visit Maude often, we haven’t discussed moving in a while. Things have been chaotic. Ellis was promoted to director of Weston’s entire system of libraries, I finished my masters in education and started teaching, Zoe made friends and an international move was put on the back burner.
As we pull out of the school parking lot, heading toward home, I try again. “Babies are loud. And messy.”
“I know that,” comes the clipped reply from beside me. “You’re being super annoying about this. Papa wants one.”
That has my attention. “ One , what? A baby? What makes you say that?”
“He told me. When I asked him for a sister.”
“When was this?” I demand, my eyes wide.
“Three days ago. He said,” she adopts a deep, French accented voice, “ I would like that very much, but Jo is still young and I don’t want to pressure her. Maybe someday. ” She huffs. “He got emotional after that and told me I was more than enough for the both of you and that you loved me and all this sappy stuff.”
I can’t help but laugh. “We do love you. And you are more than enough for us.”
“Gross. Can you drop me at Gram and Pops?”
My fingers tap restlessly on the steering wheel, struggling to think past the bomb Zoe dropped in my lap. “Nope. You have a history test tomorrow. We have flash cards to make.”
My parents didn’t attempt to conceal their disapproval that I went to France as Ellis’s nanny and came home as his wife. However, the frosty reception he received was not extended to his daughter. Within a few months, Zoe was calling them Gram and Pops, and had become the—very spoiled—apple of their eye.
When we get home, it’s a surprise to see Ellis’s car in the drive, and the garage door open. Zoe makes her escape quickly, undoubtedly hoping to avoid history flashcards as long as possible, but I go in search of my husband.
I find Ellis, still wearing his Weston ID lanyard and—as I’ve dubbed it—naughty librarian sweater, pulling down the big storage totes we keep summer stuff in.
“Hey, you,” I say, picking my way around bicycles and the snow blower to get to him. “You’re home early.”
His expression softens at the sight of me, and he abandons the storage bins to pull me into his arms the moment I’m close enough, kissing me sweetly. “Hello, mon amour. ” Another kiss, and he releases me to return to his digging. “I’m just stopping by to pick something up. There’s a retirement party for one of the archivists in an hour and I signed up to bring lawn games. Have you seen those?”
I lean my hip against the wall, fighting a smile. “We got rid of them at the garage sale last year because we don’t like lawn games.”
He curses under his breath, letting the plastic cover in his hands fall to the floor with a clatter. “You’re right. I remember now. Well, we’ll have to learn to like them, because I’m buying more on the way back to work.”
“Sounds good.” I watch him start to put boxes back, my heart in my throat. “Do you want to have a baby?”
Ellis looks up sharply, expression going from shocked to annoyed in the blink of an eye. “Damn it, Zoe.” He offers an apologetic grimace. “I’m sorry. I told her to drop it.”
“Zoe has never in her life dropped anything because someone told her to.”
“Fair point.” He heaves a sigh, looking worried. “Truly, it isn’t a rush to me, mon amour . I consider myself an exceptionally lucky man as it is. Wishing for any more would be greedy.”
My heart squeezes with affection for my husband and I draw forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and lifting my chin in a silent kiss request. He doesn’t hesitate to grant it. “I love you,” I murmur when we break apart, gazing up into his pale eyes. “It’s kind of funny Zoe picked now to say something. I might have been thinking about it recently.”
The confession makes Ellis brighten. “ Have you ?” He beams down at me and leans in for another kiss, this time with considerably more heat than the first. I giggle when his hands wander lower to grab my ass, dragging me closer.
“Not right this second.” I swat his arm playfully, but I’m having a hard time keeping my smile at bay. Are we really talking about this? “We should probably decide on the whole international move thing before throwing my birth control out the window.”
Ellis nips at my bottom lip. “Your parents will kill us if we go anywhere.”
“Mom is retiring soon.” I shrug. “They want to travel. I don’t think it’s the end of the world. Besides, Maude has been having all those issues with her insulin levels. It would be great to be close to her. Plus, Zoe has always been happier there. She never wants to leave at the end of summer break.”
My shoes shuffle loudly over the cement floor as Ellis backs me over to the long workbench and lifts me up so he can stand between my parted thighs. His lips curve in amusement. “It sounds like you have it all figured out.”
“Not all of it,” I admit. “You love your job. If you wanted to stay at Weston, I would understand.”
“I do love my job.” Ellis drags his hands down the outside of my thighs, his eyes on my face. “But I love my family more. Why don’t we discuss it with the young, stubborn one, and go from there?”
He poses it like a question but we’re both smiling, because we know what she’ll say. This move has always been the plan. France is where we fell in love, where I fell in love with both of them, and it feels like home. There’s still a lot to consider, jobs and houses and schools, but excitement is kindling to life inside me.
“We’re coming full circle, huh?” I muse, playing with the ends of his hair, which has gone almost completely gray in the past five years. I’ll never get over how handsome he is.
“We are,” Ellis agrees. His smile slips slightly, turning to something soft and hopeful. “You’ve really been thinking about a baby?”
God, with the way he’s looking at me, if I wasn’t thinking about it before, I would be now.
I nod, my heart so full. “I have the world’s hottest husband who also happens to be the best dad ever. Of course I’ve been thinking about it. Though, maybe we shouldn’t risk it. Zoe has requested a sister, and I think we’ll be in trouble if we mess up.”
He trails his fingertips over my collarbone, making the muscles below my bellybutton flutter. “I’ll confess I may be out of my depth with the surly teenage attitude.”
I squirm closer. “We’ll figure it out. Will you still want me when I’m giving you surly pregnant lady attitude?”
Ellis scoffs. “I’ll always want you.”
“You can’t know that!” I object playfully.
My husband lifts his eyebrows, lips curving into an amused curve as he pulls my body more securely against his own. “I think you’ll remember I tried very, very hard not to want you at the beginning. How did that work out for me?”
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