Leti
There’s a strange pressure that comes with being the last single sibling.
Elena found the love of her life so easily.
One glance at Diego sitting two rows down from her in their college auditorium and my older sister was a goner.
They did everything the “right” way, according to my parents.
They met young, fell in love, walked the graduation stage together, moved into a new apartment, got married a year later, and then started a family.
Now they live in a house larger than the one we grew up in with an actual, honest-to-god white picket fence. It’s nauseating.
At least my younger brother isn’t moving in with Kayla yet.
After finishing undergrad, Andrew has officially moved out of student housing and into his first adult apartment, though he’s still living with a roommate.
I don’t know why it had to be the same complex as mine, something I’ve asked numerous times before and after he signed the lease.
I can count on one hand the number of conversations we’ve had that haven’t devolved into shouting matches.
Maybe there was a time after high school I thought that might change, but some cuts run too deep to ever fully heal.
Which is why, up until now, my method for dealing with Andrew has been to not deal with him. It’s easier on both of us that way.
At least, it was until we became neighbors.
Since I conveniently missed his moving day (like the bad sister I am, I said I was sick and spent the whole day playing video games), I have to scroll through the family group chat for his apartment number.
He lives one floor down from me. If I had my way, I wouldn’t have let Elena guilt me into this admittedly overdue visit, but I’m at least comforted by the fact that I won’t have to be alone with Andrew.
At the sound of my name, I whip around toward an open door and my brother waves me inside.
“Look who finally decided to come down for a visit.” Andrew shakes his head as I step past him. This is bonkers. His apartment is practically right underneath mine. “Elena and Diego are already here.”
“They got a pass on moving day. Why don’t I deserve one?”
“They have two kids.”
“And I was sick.” I roll my eyes before inspecting the place.
It’s the exact floor plan as mine, only inverted and with sliding doors that lead to a spacious patio area complete with its own barbecue pit.
Meanwhile, all I have is a small square balcony with a view of the strip mall across the street.
The pitter-patter of my niece’s and nephew’s feet echoing from the hallway makes me realize Andrew’s not very far from that life himself.
If I blink, I can almost imagine this is the apartment he shares with Kayla, and the pitter-patter is coming from his own little one running around, wreaking havoc.
And then I’ll not only be the last single sibling, but also the last one to have kids.
However, as much as I love being an aunt, I’m not sure I want kids of my own.
“Speaking of kids…” He crouches, making scary monster noises as he darts off toward the sound of footsteps, and that completes the picture in my head.
He’d make a great father someday. It’s not that I’m jealous of the lives my siblings have created for themselves, exactly. It’s just that they figured out their lives so quickly, and I’m still catching up. If I’m the one thwarting convention, why do I still feel so inferior?
“No running in dark corners!” He emerges from the hallway carrying Alicia in his arms. “I almost ran you down like a bowling pin.” He strokes her hair back affectionately.
She burrows her dark, curly head into the crook of his neck, content.
Andrew glances up at me suddenly, and I realize I’m staring. “What?”
“I swear to god, if you and Kayla have kids before I have my first real relationship—”
“Whoa, slow down.” He lets out a nervous laugh. “Kayla and I haven’t been together long enough to be talking about…all of that.”
I stare at him for a beat. “You’ve been together for almost a year.”
“Exactly. I’m gonna need about four or five more before I decide to end my life before it starts.”
Before I can roll my eyes at such a classic Andrew response to even the thought of settling down, the clatter of tinier feet sound from behind, where Diego is carefully following behind his eight-month-old. Mateo only started walking a few weeks ago, but once he started there was no stopping him.
“Come here!” I scoot forward on the edge of the couch, slapping my knees until Mateo looks up at me with his big, brown eyes. “Come here, Mateo!”
“He’s not a dog.” I ignore my brother and keep my focus on Mateo. At the sound of his name, he rushes forward. Once he’s close enough, I sweep him up off the ground and into my arms. He giggles into my shoulder as I coo baby nonsense at him.
“So, why are you upset?” Diego asks, having only caught the last half of our conversation.
Before I have the chance to answer, Andrew chimes in. “Dating prospects don’t look so good.”
I glower at him, covering Mateo’s eyes from my death stare. He’s too young to witness such a look from me.
“There’s something I don’t miss.” Diego chuckles. “The chasing, the games. Elena and I lucked out meeting early in life.”
“My prospects are fine, thank you very much,” I lie, thinking of the last message I sent to Julian and kicking myself for jumping the gun.
Right when I thought I’d lucked out, I had to go and scare him away.
Actually, fuck that. If he scares that easy, I’d rather wait to meet someone better.
I’m through changing myself to be more palatable to a romantic partner. I learned my lesson a long time ago.
“I thought being bisexual was supposed to give you twice the options,” my brother says. “It’s been, what, ten years since you’ve been in any kind of relationship? You’re too far gone to try dating apps now. At this point, just head straight for a convent.”
He snickers at his own joke, and Diego merely shrugs and sends me an apologetic look. I wave it off, unfortunately used to my brother’s twisted sense of humor by now.
“Biromantic,” I correct, more to myself because this is far from the first time I’ve had to. “And it’s only been four years, not that it’s any of your business.”
Are we conditioned as a society to immediately forget and dismiss what we don’t understand, or is that just my brother?
Every time I try to explain that I’m ace-spec, he covers his ears and says he doesn’t need to hear about his sister’s sex life.
Not that I’ve ever had one, but I’m not about to let on that his convent comment is too spot on for my liking.
Despite Andrew and I being closer in age, Elena is the sibling I’m closest to.
Growing up, she could always tell when something was wrong with scary, maternal-like accuracy.
When I got my period for the first time, I ran to her for answers instead of our mother.
When none of my high school crushes worked out, I sought her out for comfort.
When I realized I didn’t experience sexual attraction like everyone else—that I didn’t really understand what it was to begin with—she pulled up the asexual visibility and education network website on her computer and showed it to me.
“Tell her she needs to get off the dating apps!” Elena calls from the hallway, and I roll my eyes when Andrew breaks into another fit of laughter.
“What is she doing back there?” I ask Diego.
“Babyproofing before we leave the kids for the weekend,” he says. “I finally convinced her it’s time we take that vacation we’ve been talking about for years.”
Andrew grumbles to himself, and then calls to Elena, “You better undo everything you’re doing over there when you get back!”
“I still don’t understand why she won’t leave them with me.” Mateo makes a gurgling noise, which I take as commiseration. “See, Mateo agrees. He’d much rather stay with me.”
“Don’t you start.” Andrew glowers at me. “Elena never lets me babysit, and you’re half the reason.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You convinced her I’m not responsible enough to take care of my own niece and nephew,” he says. “I had to get Diego on my side before she agreed to let them stay here.”
“Leave me out of this.” Diego holds out his hands in surrender.
“I never told her you’re not responsible.” I turn my nose up at him. “I’m practically a co-parent by default, living with Bella and her daughter. Between you and me, I’m the most natural choice to babysit. If she thinks you’re irresponsible, she came to that conclusion all by herself.”
“Yeah, right,” he says gruffly. “I can handle babysitting.”
“For an afternoon, sure. But a whole weekend?” I glance at Diego. “Are you sure this is a good—”
He shushes me before the whole question is out of my mouth. “Not so loud,” he whispers. “She’s still looking for any reason to cancel the trip.”
I’m cut off from replying by the sound of my sister’s footsteps, followed by her voice.
“Don’t be afraid to go out and meet people in person.
” Elena steps into the living room, holding two hot-pink baby gates under her arm.
She starts setting up the first at the hallway entrance, continuing, “I can’t imagine how anyone meets someone who wants a serious relationship on those sites.
It’s one big machine contributing to hookup culture, which we all know is the last thing you want. ”
“So what would you have me do?” I hand Mateo off to his father before rising from the couch, ignoring Andrew’s sputtering. “Walk up to the first cute, age-appropriate person at the grocery store and strike up a conversation?”
“Why not?” Oh, how naive my married, mother-of-two sister is.
“Wait, hold on—” Andrew shoves past me to reach Elena. He shakes the gate while Elena is still putting in the screws and her face twists in annoyance. “How do these things even work? I have a roommate, you know.”
“And I sincerely hope he’s good with kids,” she says to him, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “I would’ve liked to meet him before leaving my children here, you know. I’m nervous enough as it is leaving them with you.”
“They’ll be fine.” He waves her off, which would be bad enough on its own if he hadn’t added “He won’t even know they’re here.”
Elena looks past him to her husband, a knowing expression crossing her face as his turns pleading. I’ve seen them have enough silent conversations with their eyes to know what’s coming. When she looks back at Andrew, she throws her hands up in the air. “That’s it. I can’t do this.”
“Wait, Elena!” Diego rises from the couch to follow as she storms back into our brother’s room.
“Good going, Andrew.” I shake my head at his confused expression.
“What did I say?”
“The exact thing she needed to hear to call off their first vacation in five years.”
His eyes widen in alarm before he turns around.
“Elena, wait!” He follows after them to his bedroom.
I want no part of this, so I return to the couch where Alicia is taking a nap.
I pat her head while I take out my phone to check my notifications.
I’m not sure if I’m more shocked or annoyed to see Julian’s name on my lock screen.
Julian: So sorry about the late reply, it’s been chaos getting everything ready for my first year teaching. I’m practically living in my classroom right now.
Julian: I’d love to go out with you. If you’re still interested, that is.
Leti: You leave me hanging for two days after I put myself out there, and NOW you want to go out? Pretty sure your school has enough wi-fi to manage a simple yes or no reply, even if you are living there.
Julian: You’re right. It was a lame excuse, and I’m sorry.
Julian: The truth is…you surprised me.
Leti: In a bad way?
Julian: No. I didn’t expect to like you so much, and I got scared I wouldn’t live up to your expectations if we met in person.
Leti: That’s fair. If it helps, I’m a little scared I won’t live up to yours either.
Julian: Not possible.
As my siblings fight in the next room, I find a smile inching its way across my face. On any other day, it’d be me fighting with Andrew in the next room while my sister and her husband make googly eyes at each other on the very couch I’m sitting on. What upside-down world am I living in?
Leti: Fine. Next Saturday is on.