Leti
When we get back from the store, I bring the bags up to my apartment and tell Julian I’ll meet everyone downstairs after I’ve gotten ready.
He doesn’t seem happy, but I don’t give him much of a choice.
I won’t have Bella as a buffer tonight since she’s babysitting Alicia and Mateo, and I certainly won’t be able to use Julian as one since we’re not supposed to know each other.
On the bright side, at least with Nathaniel on my arm, hopefully my family will be more willing to give me some space tonight.
An hour before the party, I finally head downstairs. After ringing the doorbell, Julian swings the door open with his usual cheery grin. My sister is standing behind him, glaring daggers at me over his shoulder.
“Oh, sure.”
I start to follow him into the kitchen before I catch myself. He’s not my friend tonight. Elena links her arm in mine, pulling me into the living room. “Nice of you to finally show up.”
“The place looks good,” I say, glancing around. “Like you didn’t miss me at all.”
“Funny.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but it only lasts a second before falling into a straight line. “Promise me you’ll be on your best behavior tonight.”
“I’m not the one you should be asking that.”
“Leti, please.” She sighs. “It’s Andrew’s birthday. You can keep the peace for one night, can’t you?”
“I’m gonna get a Coke.” Or something stronger.
Unlinking our arms, I make my way into the kitchen, where Julian and Diego are making small talk.
My parents are visible from outside the small window over the sink.
My mom sinks into a patio chair as my dad waves away the last of the smoke from the barbecue pit.
Ignoring the twinge in my chest, I face Julian with my best poker face.
“Okay for me to grab a soda?”
“Help yourself.” He waves a hand to the fridge. “I’m Julian, by the way. We haven’t officially met yet.” There’s a subtle inflection on the word officially, imperceptible except to me. His mouth crooks into the barest hint of a knowing grin, just for me. A crack in the mask only I would notice.
I take his outstretched hand, affecting a bored expression. “Nice to meet you.”
“We have about an hour before your brother is due to arrive,” Julian tells us. “We’re almost finished setting up in the kitchen.”
The smell of food makes my stomach rumble even as the mere sight of the display on the counter makes my heart clench.
My parents outdo themselves every year, but never for me.
Come March, they’ll be on another trip abroad somewhere and wish me a happy birthday via FaceTime. Like last year, and the year before.
Suddenly, the bottle of tequila is looking pretty good right about now.
“Don’t even think about it,” Julian says once Diego is out of earshot, his chin jutting at the display of liquor I’m having a staring contest with. “At least wait until the party starts. We don’t need you getting sloshed before your brother shows up.”
“Bossy.” I wrinkle my nose at him. He merely smirks.
After looking past his shoulder where Elena and Diego are occupied with each other in the living room, he inches closer, brings his lips to my ear, and says, “You clean up good, Maldonado.”
A blush creeps up my neck.
I made an extra effort to dress up, partially for my date but mostly for me.
I’m wearing a black formfitting dress with cutouts at the sides and strappy sandals with the barest heel.
My winged eyeliner is sharp enough to cut, red lip meticulously done, the shade so dark it’s almost black.
I needed something to make me appear more confident than I feel, and the ensemble helped for the most part.
“Thank you.” I shrug, but a pleased grin pulls the corners of my lips.
Julian’s not half bad either in his tapered slacks and white button-down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
I’m not the only one who changed clothes after the grocery store run.
But then again, I’m not surprised. He always looks good.
“You don’t play fair, do you? Give a guy a warning next time.
” His breath is warm on my skin, causing shivers to run up and down my spine.
If he looks down, he’ll see goose bumps erupting on my bare arms. For the umpteenth time this week, that kiss flashes through my mind.
His hand on my back, his tongue teasing the crease of my lips open, his thigh between my legs.
“One look at you and I almost blew our cover.”
I find that hard to believe. The reply is on the tip of my tongue, his unaffected, familiar grin from when he answered the door at the forefront of my mind. There was nothing in his face that gave him away.
But I think I like this new, tormented Julian.
It’s a side I haven’t seen of him before.
The low rumble of his voice and the way his usually warm brown eyes darken to a cool obsidian, more pupil than iris.
I almost wish it were only the two of us in his apartment, unimpeded by my family members in the living room.
These are dangerous thoughts, but he’s putting us in a dangerous position right now, looking at me the way he is.
Leaning into my overheated body, eating up the inches of space between us.
“Oh?” I ask. “Good thing you caught yourself. That would’ve gone on your permanent record for sure.”
“Is that so?” His eyes gleam with an unspoken challenge. He’s about to say something else but clears his throat instead when my sister walks into the kitchen. Startled, I turn around and take two big steps away from Julian, praying Elena doesn’t sense anything off.
“Kayla texted. Apparently, Andrew insisted on making a pit stop to Walmart before heading back from the movie. They’re going to be late.”
Luckily for us, Elena is too annoyed to pick up on any weirdness between me and Julian.
Growing up, she was the hardest family member to hide secrets from.
But from the way she’s barely looking at us, her mind must be occupied on the stress of party planning.
“When’s your date coming? I’m anxious to meet this new man of yours. ”
I feel rather than see Julian’s eyes boring into the side of my face.
My skin flames for an entirely different reason now, and I’m unable to look at him.
“It’s only our second date. Stop calling him my man.
” I glance down at my phone, checking for his last message.
“He said he’ll be here in thirty minutes. ”
“Good. Andrew’s friends should start showing up by then too.”
Diego calls for her attention and she returns to the living room, leaving Julian and me alone again.
“So that’s why you’re dressed up tonight,” he says once Elena’s out of earshot. “For Nathaniel.”
“I’m sure I told you he was coming,” I say idly, though I keep my gaze trained on the floor. I’m unable to properly name the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It can’t be guilt. He’s the reason I’m even dating the guy in the first place.
“You didn’t,” he says. “I would’ve remembered.”
That sinking feeling only grows when I finally chance a glance at him.
He’s the one who won’t look at me now. Twice, I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
I’m not even sure what I’ve done wrong. Yes, we kissed.
Yes, it was fucking fantastic. Yes, it’s complicated everything despite the fact that kissing didn’t change anything between us.
We’re still friends. At least, I think we are.
Without warning, he turns his back on me and heads into the living room.
If he’s mad, not an inch of him shows it as he and Diego laugh over an inside joke.
While I’m alone in the kitchen, I pour Coke into a plastic cup and a liberal amount of rum when I’m sure no one’s looking. Pretty sure I’ll need it tonight.
The minutes pass in slow increments as we wait for the first guests to arrive.
I glance around the room after the first half hour, taking stock of the attendees so far.
A handful of Andrew and Julian’s college friends trickle in, completely harmless in that I don’t recognize a single one of them.
It’s not long before my phone lights up with an incoming message, letting me know Nathaniel is outside.
“Wow.” His eyes scan me head to toe once I let him inside. “You look…wow.”
“Thanks.” I wave him off. “So do you.” And he really does, in his simple gray button-down shirt and dark jeans. His smile is sweet, and when he reaches for my hand, I squeeze his back.
“There you are.”
My spine straightens at the sound of my mom’s voice behind me. I turn to face her with a tight smile, wishing I could throw Nathaniel in front of my body like a shield. Instead, I return her hug by wrapping an arm around her back.
“Your father and I have been looking for you. We haven’t gotten to say hi to you yet.”
“Here I am.” When her eyes land on Nathaniel, I introduce them with a quick “Mom, Nathaniel. Nathaniel, Mom.”
“I didn’t believe Elena when she told us you were bringing someone.”
Oh good, my dad’s joined in. Rather than hug as a greeting, he tips his chin down at me in a nod.
For Nathaniel, he holds out a hand for a handshake.
As Nathaniel makes small talk with my parents, I turn my head and immediately meet Julian’s eyes.
His smile comes easy, even as my thoughts are roiling.
He’s the one who helped me get here, but something still feels… wrong.
“I like this one,” my mom tells me after Nathaniel asks for directions to the bathroom. She leans in conspiratorially, like I’m finally in on one of her secrets. “Don’t let him get away.”
“Mom, please.” I sigh. “Don’t get too attached. It’s only our second date.”
“I knew early on your mother was the one,” my dad says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and looking down at her so sweetly, I could gag.
“And Elena and Diego knew instantly when they met that they were meant to be,” my mom adds. “I’m sure Kayla and Andrew did too.”
“Come on. You should know by now it takes me longer than them to decide what I want.”
“Please, don’t remind me.” My mom’s features pinch.
“I don’t need a headache before your brother gets here.
All I’m trying to say is I’m glad you’re getting serious this year.
You’re finally working full-time and putting the video games down.
If you try hard enough, things with Nathaniel will work out. ”
I don’t have time to argue or even respond before Julian’s announcing our guest of honor’s imminent arrival.
My sister shuts off the lights, and the room goes silent as we’re plunged into darkness.
I’m not sure if Nathaniel’s still in the bathroom, so I end up crunched down near the window by myself.
I teeter forward in my heels, covering my mouth with a hand to hide my yelp.
Before I hit the ground, an arm wraps around my middle, saving me from a fall.
I’m pulled back up to a crouching position, my back nestled against a chest.
“Thank you.” I breathe a sigh of relief that Nathaniel made it back out here.
“No problem.”
Every muscle in my body tenses. Not Nathaniel.
I’m torn between pulling away from him and burrowing closer.
The last time I checked, Julian was on the other side of the living room.
When the hell did he get behind me? My legs are bunched underneath me in such an uncomfortable position that even if I wanted to pull away, I can’t without falling flat on my ass.
Even when he kissed me, I wasn’t crowded by him like I am now.
Caged to his body by a single arm, his fingers brushing the bare skin of my waist in the most intoxicating way.
It’s a slow kind of torture, the way the tips of his fingers skate against my skin through the cutouts in my dress. Unconscious, I’m sure. It has to be.
I blow out a frustrated breath before leaning my head back against his shoulder, trying to move my legs into a more comfortable position.
My face is so close to his neck this way, close enough for my lips to brush his skin.
The underside of his jaw is prickly from stubble, but it’s not an altogether bad feeling.
I almost want to press my cheek against him, drag my lips across the scratchy surface of his five-o’clock shadow.
Good lord, where are these thoughts coming from?
Julian hitches a breath at the accidental contact, and a wave of satisfaction courses through me. I’m not the only one affected here.
That kiss addled my brain chemistry, turned me into someone I barely recognize.
I’ve reached for and put down my vibrator about a hundred times this week, terrified of what’ll happen after orgasming to thoughts of Julian.
In hindsight, it’s ridiculous that that’s the one line I’m unwilling to cross when we’ve already crossed so many.
“He’s taking forever,” someone mutters from my left. The voice is shushed by several others. The voice comes again, defensive, “What’s he doing out there anyway?”
“Are you okay?” Julian’s whisper is barely audible, but that doesn’t stop his low rumble from settling low in my belly.
His stubbled chin scrapes against my skin the way I was just fantasizing about, and I must be losing my goddamned mind to be this turned on in a room full of strangers and family members while my date is somewhere nearby, completely oblivious.
“Yeah.” The word is nothing but a breathless puff of air. Then, when I remember my numb legs barely holding me up, I change tact. “No.”
“You can’t hold yourself up on your own, can you?”
I shake my head before remembering he can’t see me.
But he must be able to guess the answer anyway, because he tells me to hold on.
His hands shift to either side of my waist, and any air left in my lungs dissipates at the contact.
Both hands are touching bare skin now. His touch is light at first, trying to make me feel more comfortable about him having to touch me without a barrier of fabric between us, until he realizes he’s the only thing holding me upward when the upper half of my body starts slipping.
I release a sharp intake of breath when his grip tightens, gently tugging me back into the cradle of his arms. I could kick myself for choosing this dress for tonight.
The tip of his lips touch my ear, and a shudder goes through me. Low enough for only me to hear, he says, “Get on your knees.”
Every cell in my brain makes like the oxygen in my lungs and flees house.
He clears his throat and clarifies, “You’ll be more comfortable that way until you can stand.”
Right. My mind’s so far down the gutter, it needs an emergency ladder to escape. Julian gives me enough space once I’m able to rest on my knees without his assistance. It’s only once he’s no longer crowding my space that I’m finally able to breathe normally again.
The lights come on, temporarily blinding me until my brother’s stunned form comes into view. He rears back, covering his wide smile with both hands. The crowd of people erupts all around me.
“SURPRISE!”