Leti
Andrew follows me out into the parking lot, raising a brow when I stop under a large oak tree.
This spot is as good as any for the conversation we’re about to have.
My brother hates getting into arguments in public, so I’m hoping the passersby will keep us civil.
I, for one, couldn’t give less of a shit about who knows we’re fighting, so this is just me being petty.
“Well?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything. “Are we gonna stand out here like two idiots, or are we gonna talk?”
“Why did it have to be him?” he asks finally. He still won’t look at me. “Of all the people you could choose to be with, why did it have to be my best friend?”
I blow out a breath, because boy have I been asking myself that same question for weeks. Not that we’re together exactly, Julian and I. But maybe as together as I’ve ever gotten the chance to be with a romantic partner. Now, fuck if I don’t want anybody else.
Not that I can take anything he said last night to heart, no matter how much I want to. What kind of a person would I be to hold him to the feelings he alluded to while suffering from a head injury?
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “It’s not like I chose for any of this to happen. Being your friend is a point against him, if anything.”
“Are you and Julian together now?”
I cross my arms over my chest and force down a groan. “I don’t know.”
“Do you know anything?”
“Okay, stop it already. It’s bad enough we’re even having this conversation. Don’t bullshit me when I’m trying explain how this happened.”
“I already know what happened. Julian told me yesterday,” he says. “What I need to know is that you won’t hurt him.”
Finally, I look him in the face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I know you.” He puts his hands in his pockets, staring out into the parking lot instead of at me. “The only person in this family you come through for is Elena.”
“Because she’s the only person in this family who comes through for me,” I say. “Elena and Bella are my favorite people, but they’re not my only people.” It was far easier than it should’ve been to include Julian in that list, but there’s no erasing him from it now.
“And Julian is my best friend, which is a point against him by your own admission,” Andrew says.
“He didn’t tell me why you couldn’t stand him at first, but he didn’t have to.
It was because of me. Because you found out he was my roommate and decided to hate him on principle without giving him a fair chance. ”
I hardly have an argument for that, even if I did change my mind about Julian eventually.
“We grew up together, Leti. We know every little way there is to hurt each other, and we’re not afraid to abuse the shit out of that knowledge.
We do it over and over again. We’ve been doing it all our lives.
I think it’s the only thing we know how to do at this point.
Which is exactly why I don’t trust you not to hurt him. ”
I’d gasp, but it feels as if an anvil has flattened my chest.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you yesterday,” he continues.
“But I can’t say I didn’t mean what I said.
You came to my party with another guy and were kissing Julian by the end of it.
I don’t even care if you have an explanation for it,” he says as I open my mouth.
“You never should’ve done it in the first place, and I’m allowed to protect Julian from you if I think you’re not good for him. ”
“Isn’t this you doing what you just said and abusing your knowledge in order to hurt me?” I ask him. “Using my mistakes as a reason why I’m not good enough for him?”
“Your very recent mistake, you mean?”
“I only went on two dates with Nathaniel, and I ended things as soon as he walked me to my door last night.” It takes everything in me not to raise my voice at him.
“I agree with you, okay? What I did was supremely unfair—to both of them. But I took responsibility for it, which is more than you can say.”
“Excuse me?” He turns his glare on me. “We took Julian to the hospital. I apologized to him—”
“He has a concussion,” I scoff at him. “You really think sitting next to him at the hospital erases what you did? He could’ve been seriously injured. He should’ve pressed charges. Maybe that would’ve made Mom and Dad think twice about believing he just fell.”
“It always comes back to Mom and Dad, doesn’t it?” He shakes his head. “Classic, Leti.”
“You wanna talk about classic? They buy every lie you sell them, hook, line, and sinker,” I remind him. “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to still be lying to our parents? What do you think they’re going to do, ground you?”
My blood boils all over again like it did when I read the family group chat this morning. My parents expressed their sympathies for Julian’s injury and hoped for a speedy recovery from his “fall.”
“I never told them Julian fell. Diego did,” he says. “I don’t know why he covered for us, so don’t put that on me.”
“And you don’t plan on correcting him, do you?” Now I’m yelling. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? Twenty-five years old, and you’re still so afraid to be seen as anything other than Mommy and Daddy’s perfect little boy.”
“Oh, and god forbid you ever try to be anything other than a disappointment,” he sneers. “I guess we are what we are, huh?”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you too, sis.”
I pull out my phone as I stomp up the stairs, and then I hesitate.
The last thing Julian needs is to be pulled into the middle of my and Andrew’s shit, especially while he’s still recovering.
But there’s still so much we left unsettled between us.
Nathaniel. The mystery person he’s in love with that he never told me about.
That kiss. The great concussion hookup of October 16.
God, I’m still reeling from having his hands on me.
The memory of everything we did last night is going to be burned in my brain for the rest of my life.
There’s this dark part of me that so desperately wants to be the person Andrew was talking about when he said Julian was in love.
But would he have put so much effort into setting me up with other people if I was?
Not likely. Still, I have no idea what any of this means.
Everything, he’d said. But the man had a minor blow to the head.
I’m not sure how wise it is to trust that he knew what he was saying.
Anything to avoid the truth staring you straight in the face.
Isn’t that right, Leticia? I stayed up for hours after those words left his mouth, parsing their meaning, because he couldn’t possibly mean what I thought he meant.
And then I could barely wake him back up two hours later or get him to answer what day it was, and I realized it doesn’t matter what he meant or if he even meant to say it.
In the light and clarity of a new day, he could regret last night even happened. We were caught up in the moment, in the increasingly blurred lines between us. It doesn’t mean anything until he tells me it does with a signed doctor’s note in hand.
My phone lights up with a call as I reach my apartment. Julian. I put the phone to my ear as I walk inside. Almost immediately, Elena and Diego scramble away from the window, wearing twin guilty looks on their faces.
“Hold on,” I say into the phone as I face the pair. “Were you guys eavesdropping on me?” I don’t have the energy to pretend to be mad. It’s what I’ve come to expect from them. Elena’s been a chismosa all her life, and all she’s done since getting married is rub her bad habits off on her husband.
“Yes, but we couldn’t hear much,” Elena admits. “We only caught the fuck you, fuck you too, sis, so I’m guessing the talk didn’t go over well?”
“Not at all.” I smile dryly. “But that’s not exactly a surprise, is it?”
“He’s currently sulking in his room, so I figured as much,” Julian says. “Put me on speaker. I wanna say hi to your sister and Diego.”
I do as he asks, holding out my phone.
“Hey, guys. I’m so sorry for bringing the party to a screeching halt last night.”
“Oh, it’s not your fault, Julian,” Elena says. “How’s that head of yours?”
“Feeling much better,” he says. “I’m getting plenty of rest, and I called work to take Monday through Wednesday off. Luckily I already had my lesson plans prepared, so I’ll email those when they get ahold of a sub.”
“Or you could send them to me and cut out the middleman,” I say. “You’ve already got a glorified sub on speed dial, remember?”
“And take you away from Mr. Sosa’s class? They’d never go for it.”
“I already asked to rotate to a different subject because I know jack shit about geometry,” I tell him. “So, there’s a high likelihood they’ll pick me to take over your classes.”
“Oh, cool. You’ll be better than the ex-cop,” Julian says. “He tends to scare the kids.”
“Were you able to get some sleep?” Diego asks, and my cheeks heat immediately. Elena’s keen eyes fall over me, and I try to cover by clearing my throat.
“By some miracle, yeah.” Julian laughs easily. “Though it’s not fun being woken up every two hours to answer the same questions over and over, that’s for sure.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say we had plenty of fun, but there’s no way I’m saying as much in front of my sister. She’s already looking at me funny as it is.
“Sounds like Leti was the perfect caretaker.” Elena smirks at me, and it only grows as Julian sputters out a response.
“Oh, um, definitely, yeah.” His voice is too high, and he’s talking too fast. “Great, she was great. No complaints here.”
“Okay, I’m taking you off speaker,” I tell Julian. “Elena and Diego need to finish packing up so they can get back home.”
“Oh, Leti.” Elena grabs my arm before I can escape to my room. “This so isn’t over.”
Once I’m tucked inside the comfort of my bedroom, door closed and perfectly alone, I put the phone back to my ear. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I can hear the grin in his voice. “Was I too obvious before?”
“Yeah, but it’s Elena.” I shrug even though he can’t see me. “She would’ve figured out something happened last night eventually. I’ve never been able to keep anything a secret from her for very long.”
“That’s one sibling we don’t have to worry too much about at least,” he says. “Speaking of, you want to tell me what happened with Andrew?”
“Not really.” My nose wrinkles. “You shouldn’t be worrying about me and Andrew right now. Besides, I think we have a much bigger conversation ahead of us before we get into that.”
“I agree,” he says. “Which is why you should come back down here so we can talk. My mom and her doctor boyfriend are about to leave, and I’m about to kick Andrew out, so you won’t have to worry about seeing him again.”
“Sure.” I blow out a breath, my hands suddenly shaking with nerves. “I’m on my way.”