37 Leti
Leti
This date is a total snooze fest.
It’s not that Nathaniel is boring or lacking in any way.
Au contraire, he’s been completely nice and funny and charming all night.
I’m the problem. I’m the one with nothing interesting to say or contribute to the conversation.
If anything, Nathaniel’s working overtime to save this date and pick up my slack.
“Your heart’s not in this, is it?” Nathaniel’s expression is resigned at the end of the night, and guilt immediately eats away at my insides.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “My complication got complicated…er.”
“Don’t feel bad,” he says. “I practically pushed this redo date on you. When I got that strange text from you, I wasn’t going to miss the chance to try again, even if it was an accident.”
“It was something, all right.” My cheeks heat at the memory of Julian’s distraction. “I made a promise to myself that I’d see our connection through before I made up my mind, but the truth is I think I already have.”
“I’m not the one you want,” he guesses as we arrive at my door. I return his sad smile as he says, “Goodbye, Leti.”
I let out a long sigh as I turn the key in the lock, figuring I can kill a few minutes before hightailing it to Julian’s apartment downstairs.
No need for Nathaniel to figure out my complication lives downstairs from me.
Only I nearly have a heart attack when I spot my sister and Bella on the couch.
They’ve already opened the boxed wine and filled their glasses, twin expectant looks staring up at me as I throw my keys and purse onto the counter.
“You told Elena?” I shoot an accusing glare at my best friend. “God, Bella.”
“Why are you still dating other people when you’re with Julian?” Elena asks when I open my mouth. “And don’t bother denying it. According to Bella, you’ve spent nearly every night this week downstairs.”
“We made a deal to explore our options before becoming exclusive,” I explain, and it all sounds so reasonable despite being anything but. “And I think he’s dating someone else too.”
“And you’re okay with this?” Elena crosses her arms over her chest. “How many people is he seeing? How many people are you?”
“This is my second date this weekend, and he’s seeing this mystery person Andrew says he’s in love with,” I tell her, my stomach souring at the thought because I still don’t know when his date with them is supposed to be.
“What mystery person?” Bella asks. “You didn’t tell me about this.”
“Andrew slipped up on his birthday after getting super drunk before their fight,” I explain.
“Apparently, Julian told him about someone he’s in love with.
Not that he ever once bothered to tell me about it all this time we’ve been working on my dating accounts together.
Stupid me, here I thought we were supposed to be friends. ”
They exchange a glance.
“What?” I ask when neither of them says what they’re thinking. “Hello, I’m dying over here. What’s with the look?”
“Have you ever considered,” Bella begins, “that this mystery person might be you?”
“Okay, I think you’ve had one too many of these.” I reach over the coffee table and grab her full glass of wine. Then I take a sip. “I’m afraid to ask, but what could have possibly brought both of you to the same conclusion at the same time?”
“Andrew wouldn’t have known Julian was talking about you because you convinced him to keep your friendship under wraps,” Elena explains.
“But what if Julian figured out a way to tell him something? Plus, you both work at the same school and hang out all the time. Wouldn’t you know immediately who this person was if it wasn’t you? ”
“Besides, I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Bella says. “There’s no way he could be in love with someone else.”
“You’re not serious.” I pace the length of the living room, fully freaking out now.
“Okay, maybe it’s true that a small part of me wanted to be the person Andrew meant, but come on.
He used words like love and soulmate. It’s way too soon for Julian to feel that way about me, especially when he was the one who came up with the dating app takeover in the first place. ”
“Too soon for you maybe,” Bella says. “But maybe not for him.”
“You are so not gonna wanna hear this, but when it comes to romantic feelings, your pace is about as glacial as Andrew’s.”
The scoff I let loose is rife with betrayal, which only makes Elena laugh in my face.
“What are you saying?” I ask her. “That he’s hiding the fact that he’s been in love with me this entire time and thinks I could be it for him or something? Isn’t that a little much?”
“I don’t know, is hiding a secret friendship from your entire family a little much?” Bella shares a smirk with my sister. “Y’know, maybe y’all are soulmates.”
“This isn’t funny!” Before I can do any more yelling, my phone vibrates with a text. “It’s Julian,” I say after reading the message on my lock screen. “I was supposed to meet him after my date with Nathaniel. He thinks I’m still on it.”
“Not you letting your soulmate sweat it out.” Bella’s amusement does nothing to lessen the storm raging in my brain. She makes room on the couch. “Sit down. We’re not through yet.”
“How could there possibly be any more?” I do as she says, though, plopping myself down between them.
“You haven’t told us how you feel about Julian yet,” Elena says.
“I don’t know.” I squirm in my seat, because it’s such an obvious lie they both see through it immediately.
“To be honest, we really haven’t discussed feelings very much.
The most he’s ever said was the night he got back from the hospital, but I’m not holding him to any of it.
The man was fresh off a head injury. He could barely tell me what day it was at one point. ”
“What did he say?” Bella asks. “And don’t think we didn’t notice you bypass the question entirely. We’re circling right back to you in a little bit.”
If I told you how I felt about you now, you wouldn’t believe me. You’d blame it on this stupid concussion, wouldn’t you? Anything to avoid the truth staring you straight in the face. Isn’t that right, Leticia?
“Just stuff.” My voice is too high to be believable. My god, how did I not see it until now? I jump off the couch again. “I have to go.”
I ignore their protests as I leave my purse and keys behind and practically sprint through the front door.
I’m pacing outside Julian’s door, his words from the other night reverberating back to me in an unceasing echo that refuses to stop.
Twice, I raise my hand to knock on his front door before thinking better of it.
Twice, I reach for my phone to let him know I won’t be coming tonight after all before hitting the backspace button.
I’ve been out here for fifteen minutes, and I still can’t make up my mind.
The door swings open as I’m raising my arm a third time, and Andrew appears. I’ve never been more relieved in my life to see my brother’s face, which should show you exactly where I am mentally. “I thought I heard someone out here. He’s been waiting up for you. Come in.”
“I’m not sure I can.” There must be something on my face that alarms him, because after one quick glance over his shoulder, he steps outside and softly closes the door behind him. “You were so sure last week that I was only going to hurt him. Tell me why.”
“You know why. The usual Leti reasons.” His eyes narrow on me, and I resist rolling mine.
Does he really believe my grudge against him extends to Julian?
Maybe it did at one point before I really knew him, but Julian and I are long past that.
He’s shown me ten times over that he’s nothing like my brother.
“Did something happen on your date tonight?”
“Julian told you about that?”
He nods.
“No. Nothing happened. We called the date off early and he dropped me off almost an hour ago.”
“Then why can’t you come inside?”
If there’s anyone who knows for sure who Julian’s in love with, it would be his best friend. Elena and Bella have their theories, but only Andrew can confirm if there’s any truth to them. Not that there’s any guarantee he’ll tell me if I ask, but still. I have to try.
“Do you remember what you told me before you found me and Julian on the porch?” I ask him. “About Julian being in love with someone?”
Nothing in his expression changes. “What about it?”
“Do you know who he was talking about?” I ask him. “Did he ever give you a name or anything to indicate who this person is?”
“Isn’t this a conversation you should be having with him?”
“It doesn’t make any sense to me,” I say. “How you could know he’s in love with someone else but still believe I’ll be the one to hurt him. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“I’m not getting in the middle of this.” He stares down at his shoes. Finally. His one tell. He’s hiding something. “Talk to him yourself. Or don’t. I couldn’t care less.”
He turns back to the door. “Are you coming in or what?”
I nod, stepping inside behind him. “Spending another night here?”
“Well, I do live here.”
“You and Kayla sure have been fighting for a while,” I say, and I’m only stalling the inevitable at this point. “Don’t you think you guys should’ve made up by now?”
“Since when do you care?” The accusation lands. “Julian’s been hounding me enough as it is. I don’t need you two ganging up on me.”
“Apologize for whatever you did,” I tell him. “Buy her flowers and chocolate. She loves you, for what reason I will never know. I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”
He cuts me with a glare. “What makes you so sure I’m the one who did something?”
I don’t have the chance to answer before Julian steps out of his room. “Come on, man. I could hear you arguing through my AirPods. Is this what it’s gonna be like every time Leti comes over?”
“Maybe not for much longer, knowing my sister.” The barb hits me square in the chest as Andrew’s eyes cut to me.
“All right, that’s enough.” Julian hovers over my brother, face set in stone. “I thought I already made it clear once that you are not to talk to her like that under any circumstances. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Me? Nothing.” He shakes his head with a smirk. “But why don’t you ask your girlfriend why she was pacing outside your door like she was second-guessing her decision to be here?”
“I am really gonna need Kayla to take you back, and fast.” Julian’s jaw locks as he stares down the other man. Then he reaches for my hand and squeezes. “Leti, come on.”
Without a look back at my brother, I follow Julian into his bedroom.