Thirty-One - River
The first thing I notice when my mind comes back to the land of the living is… I’m not on the couch anymore. A softness cradles every inch of my body like a floating cloud. The only thing missing is the blissful winds cooling me as I slumber.
The second thing I notice is the burning heat searing through two sides of my body. Front and back. Oh, and the hands in places they shouldn’t be, petting my skin in soft circles.
My eyes fly open, greeting the dark world. Only the outline of one mullet-headed, determined man snuggling his face into my neck greets my waking mind.
“What the hell?” I croak, trying to remove Rad’s face from burrowing further into the crook of my neck.
“Brings back memories, doesn’t it, Pretty Girl? You, me, and Callum snuggled close.” His warm breath brushes against my neck, sending delightful shivers. “I didn’t even have to sneak into your room this time.”
But also…what the fuck?
“Rad,” I grumble, trying to bring my hands to his chest.
Instead, the stupid covers hold me hostage, tying them together. Not that I’m complaining. Every girl deserves a little nookie. Right? It’s scientifically proven that sex reduces stress. Orgasms bring relief and chase everything else away. Am I convincing myself that what I’m doing is okay? Yeah, probably. I’ve avoided these feelings with them for days now. And suddenly, I’m falling headfirst into them without stopping myself.
Besides, I don’t have the heart to move. For some fucked up reason, my body sags into them. My comfort. My damn home between their bodies. Memories float to the surface of our time together beneath the sheets of my bed in my old bedroom.
“Don’t sweat it, Pretty Girl. It’s early. We don’t have shit to do. Rest with us,” he mumbles convincingly, holding me closer. “Just stay here in our arms for a little while.”
I sigh. Defeat washes over me. Not that I fought to remove their hands from wandering over my bare…
“Rad! Where are my pants?” I hiss, wiggling my bare toes. “And socks? Shoes?” I swear, before I came in here, I had all the necessary clothes covering my body. And now? Poof! They’re missing.
“You, uh…kicked everything off when we helped you to bed,” Callum rasps, resting his large, lethal hand on my barely covered ass under the damn blankets. “We tried to stop you, but you told us…”
“You’re a bunch of assfaces. Let me get naked for you and rub my titties all over you,” Rad mocks with a high-pitched voice, chuckling through the entire sentence.
“Something like that,” Callum mutters with a huff.
“I did not.” My cheeks heat at the thought. Why the fuck can’t I remember? I didn’t even drink the wine. Did I?
“You didn’t even stay awake for the pork chops Asher cooked. That asshole is getting more and more domestic. Lyric tore into the meat like a rabid dog,” Rad chuckles, silently reminiscing about the dinner I missed.
My heart sinks. I left her without a second thought, falling asleep the moment I sat on the couch. Granted, it was a long ass night of hopping on a plane and making it to Illinois so damn early. Then, the trip to Callum’s house took hours from the nearest airport. By the time we settled in, it was evening. Guilt churns through me. How could I do that to her? She’s probably frightened by the sudden change and not to mention the damn blood that was on our porch. Whenever I close my eyes, the evil word—mine—shines bright red behind my eyelids, haunting me. I can only imagine what it’s doing to my four-year-old.
“She was brutal,” Callum murmurs. “I think she almost bit Kieran’s finger off.” A deep, vibrating laugh rattles through my back. Callum takes several deep breaths, burying his nose in the depths of my hair. A deep, relaxed sigh rocks through him when he finally settles against me.
“Where is she? I didn’t… God, I’m a terrible mother,” I mumble, squeezing my eyes shut and making a move to peel myself away from them. Heavy hands hold me down, refusing my efforts to escape.
I’ve been so damn consumed with everything happening that I haven’t checked in with Ly again to make sure she’s okay. She sat between Rad and Kieran throughout the plane ride, entertaining them with her wild stories. She seemed okay—happy, even.
“She’s fine, Little Star.”
“You’re not a terrible mother, Pretty Girl. I’m fucking positive you’re the best I’ve ever seen. You raised a spectacular human being.” Taking a deep breath, Rad brushes his lips against my neck without hesitation.
Fuck. Fire devours my insides. My teeth sink into my tongue, refusing to let the moan billow from behind my lips. If he keeps that up, I’m a goner, falling deeper and deeper into them. And it’s always them, isn’t it? Rad and Callum together have this way of unraveling every inch of me until I’m theirs.
“Thank you for being there for her. You’re a goddamn amazing mom, and I feel so fucking honored you included me in the dad category,” Rad murmurs, kissing up my neck.
And wouldn’t you know, my traitorous body melts under his touch. My neck elongates, allowing him access. And that damn moan I hid softly leaks out, filling the room.
“I-I never wanted her to feel like she didn’t have a father...” My breath shudders in my chest. “Fuck,” I moan when Callum swivels his hips. A hard, long object pokes my ass, and his sexy-as-sin, low moans fill my ears. One after the other, igniting my entire body into an inferno of need.
“You say the word, Pretty Girl, and I’ll oh-so-reluctantly stop kissing you. But I’ve been dreaming of this for weeks.”
I could stop this.
I could tell them I hated them for their actions and that I would never forgive them. Ever. There is no way in hell I’ll ever be intimate with them again, not after what they did to me. Not to mention Lyric. They left us—walked the fuck away without a backward glance.
After all that, I shouldn’t give in to my wild whims. My mind screams at me to get up and walk away. To keep my interactions with them purely professional and not dip my toes in the same waters that fucked me over years before.
But when have I ever listened to reason? Especially when my body demands their hands glide over my flesh at an infuriatingly slow rate.
I fucking need this release. I’m no longer interested in holding a grudge against men who are proving themselves over and over again. Consequences be damned. Asher betrayed us. Yes. It happened. He fucked up. Majorly. But from what I can see, he’s stepping up and taking charge of his mistakes by paying for them. He’s there for Ly. They all are. They’re finally the fathers I’ve dreamed of since I pushed Lyric from my body, hoping they’d return to my side.
And here they are.
“Don’t you dare stop,” I moan, leaning into Callum’s embrace and aching for the friction.
“Your wish is my command, Pretty Girl.”
“We’ll take this slow, Little Star.”
“Just like old times.” I don’t need my eyes to hear the grin of excitement on Rad’s face. “Lift her leg, Cally Boy. Teamwork makes the dream work,” he chuckles, kissing down my jaw until his tongue invades my mouth and takes me prisoner.
Thick fingers wrap around my throat from behind, holding me still as Rad takes everything he’s been craving. My soul. My damn breath. My every fucking thing escapes me. Becoming Rad’s—theirs.
Every inch of me vibrates. The fire-hot need presses down on me, suffocating me in the incessant tingling, begging to break free. It’s been so damn long since someone else has touched me. I’m practically coming when his fingers brush against my stomach, slowly falling to the elastic of my panties.
“Fuck, Pretty Girl,” Rad groans when his fingers disappear beneath my panties, gliding through my wet folds. “You’re so wet for us,” he whimpers, thrusting two fingers inside.
The world disappears, falling away into nothing but the pumping of Rad’s fingers going in and out of me. I think I meet God himself when I float into the clouds of pleasure I haven’t felt in so damn long. Fuck. White bursts behind my eyes like fireworks blasting off and taking over my damn vision. Explosive moans leak from my throat, resembling their names, when my orgasm finally hits its peak and throws me over the damn edge.
“Oh, Little Star,” Callum groans in my ear, stopping his movements and stiffening behind me. One long, drawn-out moan breaks me from my fog. “You made me cum in my damn pants,” he murmurs into my neck. A breath shudders through me, and heat forms over my cheeks.
“That was hot as fuck,” Rad groans, flopping on his back and admiring his glistening fingers in the pale moonlight slipping through the blinds. “Eyes on me, Pretty Girl,” he whispers, releasing his dick from his boxers. When the hell did all his clothes come off, too? “Watch as I cum to the memory of you.”
My eyes lock on how he thrusts into his hand, using my cum on his fingers to coat himself. His eyes roll into the back of his head as large streams of cum jet from his dick, landing on his stomach, painting his flesh with his own release.
“Holy fucking hell,” Rad heaves.
Those large, brown eyes gaze straight into my soul. Satisfaction sparkles through him, and he grins, leaning over and gently placing his lips on mine. Instantly my eyes close, losing myself in the softness of his mouth and the warmth of his probing tongue.
“Oh, Pretty Girl,” he whispers, running his lips down my jaw, only stopping when his face snuggles into the crook of my neck. “You’re my home. My everything. I’m going nowhere. I’m stuck on you like my cum has dried and glued us together.” He sighs like his words are the epitome of a romantic gesture.
But so, so Rad.
“Never again will we leave your side, Little Star,” Callum whispers, shifting slightly behind me. “You can push us away. Light us on fire. Yell at us… But we’ll always come back for more. We’re in this together from now on. And so fucking sorry for letting Asher talk us into leaving.”
“Or believing anything he had to fucking say,” Rad gripes with a huff. “I can’t believe he fooled us for so long.”
I suck in a breath, basking in the moment of declarations. Words are cheap. Meaningless, even. But their actions. They’ve been proving themselves to me. Callum offered this house as a refuge, and they followed me here. They’re protecting us from the person stalking my every move. The guys are just more than empty words and promises.
Their grips tighten on me as they pledge their futures. Promising me things they’ve broken before. We’ll never leave you behind. We’ll take you to California with us. I’ve heard that one before. Am I crazy to believe them this time around? Have they changed their ways? So many possibilities run through my mind now that I’m post-climax. They could leave again. They’re in a band, after all. What happens in six months when they kick this program’s ass and go on tour? I’ll be here. Ly will be here.
Fuck. Stay in the present . Yeah, that’s what got you here in the first place.
“Don’t answer,” Callum whispers, running a hand over the curve of my bare ass, letting it rest. “You have every right to overthink this and question our motives.”
“I’d marry you tomorrow, Pretty Girl. I’d give you the Radcliffe name in a heartbeat. But it’s not up to us. It’s up to you. We’re all trying here. Even that dickbag Asher. I see it in the way he looks at you and Ly. We’re all here for you.”
Pfft. River Radcliffe, my ass. This is my damn show. “If anything, you’re taking my name. We’ll be the West family,” I murmur with a grin.
“Mr. Ashton West.” He nods a few times, scratching his chin. “Hell yeah, Pretty Girl! I’ll take your last name. Fuck my parents and fuck the asshole I was named after. I’m Ashton West from now on. I’ll make it official, too.”
“Take all the time you need. We still have a lot more to prove to you that you’re our end game…”
“You always were, and we were dumb fucking idiots,” Rad grumbles, kissing my cheek before he pulls away. Cradling my face in his palm, a slight grin tugs at his lips. “Mrs. Radcliffe has a nice ring to it. Doesn’t it? You like it, don’t you, Pretty Girl?” His brows wiggle when I whack him in the chest and snort. Those big, expressive eyes of his cloud over with worry as his easy-going expression falls away.
“What’s wrong?” Worry takes hold as the serious expression my funny guy usually wears disappears.
He blows out a breath. “If anyone’s the ho, it’s me, Pretty Girl. I…” He shakes his head, cursing under his breath. “I didn’t wait for you like all the others. I…” I place my hand on him, resting it there until he continues. “After we left, a hole opened in my damn chest. There was nothing I could give anyone else except music. No one owned my heart like you did—still do. It was always with you, sitting in your palm. But I… I slept with a few girls here and there. It was never anything serious. I just drowned myself in their existence to rid the pain of what I thought happened.”
“We were apart,” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “I never would have expected you to.” Who would? This is reality. They thought I betrayed them. So, why not enjoy themselves? Move on. As much as it pains me to think of them with other women, they were free of me. Not tied down.
“I know. We were done. Broken and over. But, Pretty Girl. I’ve felt so damn guilty since we came back together. And since… You didn’t with Van. And I…” he trails off again with a heavy sigh. His shoulders slump, and defeat crosses his expression.
“You think I was celibate the entire five years?” I raise a brow when his gaze whips to mine in alarm.
“Of course not,” he says, scrunching his face. “Although that’s a punch to the damn heart. You and other guys? Fuck. But no, I can’t judge you. We were apart…”
“And now we’re together.” It slips before I can think about the implications of my words.
Together. As in, we’re in a relationship. Maybe? No. Ugh. I swallow the razor blades in my throat. There’s no time to take back the words now out in the open. Free for their interpretation. Only a few weeks ago, the truth came out about Asher’s betrayal. And now, a deep need plows through me. It’s more than sexual. It’s the connection I’ve always had with each of them. I want this. Despite everything I went through. I deserve to be happy, right? And so does Ly. Why should I hold back from them when they show me daily how much they care and want to make amends?
Rad blinks at me several times before a sly grin explodes. “I knew you’d come around to being my girlfriend. It was only a matter of time!” he chuckles, resting his head on the pillow.
“Slowly,” I whisper with apprehension.
“You’re still hurt,” Callum says in a soothing voice.
“One day at a time, Pretty Girl,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against mine. “But I’ll still call you my girlfriend.” He snickers when I roll my eyes.
“How about you?” I ask, looking over my shoulder. “Any dirty deets in the sheets?”
If the darkness hadn’t covered Callum’s face, I’m sure I’d see the redness seeping up his neck.
“You were my first and my last,” he murmurs, squeezing my ass with his large palm.
“Well, Jesus, Cal. Way to make me look horrible. Kieran can’t get lil Kier to work in the presence of another woman. You haven’t touched anyone but our girl. And Asher…well, I don’t know about that dickbag… Pretty sure he locked himself up and threw away the key. The only thing that bastard was interested in was music…” he trails off, scrunching his face. “Then there’s me, Ashton, the asshole man-whore.”
I snort. “You’re not a man-whore. Shush,” I murmur, feeling the ache of exhaustion pull at my limbs. A tingling starts at my toes, slowly working its way up both legs until I’m on the verge of sleeping again. “You’re just fine.”
“Night, Pretty Girl. We’ll be here when your eyes open.” Rad’s lips rest on my forehead.
“Night, Little Star. We’ll watch over you,” Callum murmurs, brushing his lips against my nape.
“Night,” I mutter through a heavy tongue, falling into a dreamless slumber.