Forty-Two - River
“It’s going to rain,” I whisper, staring out the dark window of our SUV, traveling down the road near Callum’s home.
It’s in the air. The smell of sweet rain floats through the breeze, infiltrating all my senses. My hair stands on end. My aching heart pounds rapidly against my ribs. All in tune with the weather changing at the drop of a hat. My eyes widen in awe as the wicked sky lights up, showing off the darkened clouds miles away, heading straight for us. There’s nothing that compares to a Midwest storm on the horizon.
Soon we’ll be soaked.
My head leans lazily on Callum’s shoulder with his hand clutched tightly in mine. Every so often, he gently squeezes my fingers with his. Three times. Over and over. Conveying a message unlike any other—he loves me.
There’s no denying the love we have for each other. All five of us. In some weird and twisted way, we care for and deeply love one another. Like we’re meant for each other. No matter what we went through in the past. No matter how long we were apart, basking in our hate for one another.
This was always meant to be.
Some would say, it’s way too quick. Way too soon to shout it from the rooftops. I’m so damn tired of living in the past and reliving the hurt I experienced. It changed me for the better. Helped me grow into the woman I am today. I’ll never forget the way their betrayal hurt. I’ll have my doubts. I’ll cry and question them until I’m blue in the face. As long as they’re there to ease the pain and constantly reassure me that we’ll be okay, then I’ll believe them.
But tonight, I want to live. Dance in the icy rain. Forget all my inhibitions for freedom. Freedom from my crippling thoughts of doubt. From the pain. From my stalker. From every little thing bogging me down.
Tonight, I want to fall into the arms of the men redeeming themselves for me. The ones who wrote that song. Who pulled me on stage, kissed the oxygen from my lungs, and told the world I was theirs.
I need this.
Rad’s fingers trace up and down my jean-clad leg from my other side, bringing me out of my swirling thoughts. Judging by the trembling of his fingers, he’s eager to lock me inside the house. How do I know? As soon as we left Dead End, he told me.
“I want to lock you in Callum’s house for a month straight to get reacquainted with every inch of your curves. My tongue will own every piece of flesh… inside and out. I’m serious, Pretty Girl! Don’t drunkenly giggle at me. Little Rad is going to punch a hole through my jeans if he doesn’t get a taste of his obsession,” he murmurs with a soft whine in my ear as we walk out into the night toward the SUV. The boys stand near the trunk, lifting their equipment in and securing it in place.
“Show me how much you missed me,” I murmur, kissing his cheek. I saunter off toward the others, who watch me with heated expressions. Even in a T-shirt and jeans, they look at me like I’m completely naked and spread out.
Once again, mother nature shows off, illuminating everything outside in a quick flash. Ten seconds later, thunder rumbles, vibrating the car as we pull into the driveway of Callum’s house in the middle of nowhere.
The dark trees swish in the wind, picking up speed ahead of the rain blowing in from the west. Rainy September days always mean the changing of the season is upon Illinois.
Thankfully, we’re heading home tomorrow evening. Home. What a strange sentiment. Our home is no longer in this town. Central City is just another city. Another stop along the way. No. Our home is nestled in East Point. Somewhere. They’ll still work on themselves in the band house for another five months. And I’ll be across the street with Ly. At some point, we’ll have to figure out living arrangements. I never intended anyone else but Lyric and I living in my home. It’ll burst at the seams with all six of us living there.
The future is unavoidable. Scary, even. Will things stay like this? With each of them looking at me like I’m that plate of nachos? Or will we fall into a weird pattern once the forced proximity implemented on us vanishes? Only time will tell where our adventure truly ends.
I take a deep breath.
Fuck the future. Live in the now.
And right now?
It’s just the five of us. Ly is at a sleepover until tomorrow morning.
Stay in the now. It’s something I’ve repeatedly told myself through the years after falling victim to memories assaulting my mind.
Water softly pelts against the glass when Kieran throws the car into park in Callum’s driveway, instead of pulling into the two-car garage. The dark house looms before us in all its empty glory.
“We’ll load everything in tomorrow,” Asher says, looking around the car for approval. “That way our things don’t get soaked. It’s coming down out there.” He eyes the heavy droplets dripping down his window with furrowed brows.
He rubs his chin in that calculating way I’m used to seeing on him. Except now, Asher isn’t using it against us to tear us apart. He’s using his brain to unite us as one.
“Sounds good,” Kieran agrees. “How are you feeling, River Blue?”
How am I feeling? I’ve drank my weight in tequila. Saw a boy from my past. Had a song dedicated to Lyric and me. Also, I sobbed in front of people. God, how embarrassing. I bet someone filmed it, too. My beautiful, snot-caked, tear-stained face will be on all the gossip sites by tomorrow. I can see it now.
River West fucking an entire band! Love declarations! How long will it last?
So, you know. Just fucking peachy. But instead of telling him the truth of how chaotic my emotions are whirling around inside of me. I simply say the first thing I imagined when the rain started falling from the sky.
“Like a dance in the rain,” I say, mesmerized by the brisk rain drenching every inch of the earth outside, puddling on the grass.
The rain comes down so thickly it’s like staring through static, unable to see your hand in front of your face.
“Must still be drunk,” Kieran quips with a smirk.
Assface.
I wrinkle my nose. “You know what they say about people who assume things…”
“Makes an ass out of you and me,” Callum snorts, completing my sentence.
Good boy.
“Exactly. So, no. I’m not drunk. I’m stone-cold sober,” I grunt, extracting myself from between Callum and a reluctant, clingy Rad.
“Pretty Girl, come back,” Rad whines, reaching for me as I plop on Callum’s lap and open the door. “I need to feel your skin against mine.” I raise a brow when he folds his hands together pleadingly. He even goes as far as pouting his bottom lip with a soft whine, trying to entice me back into the vehicle and near him.
“Calm down, psycho,” Callum murmurs jokingly, intently watching as I waver at the open door. I may be perched on his lap, but he doesn’t stop me when I look out into the wet world with wonder.
Little sprinkles mist, wetting my hand as I reach out, letting the cool rain soak my fingertips. Goosebumps rise across my flesh, and shivers run through me at the icy feeling crawling across my skin.
The beautiful sound of the rain pounding into the grass greets my ears like a symphony playing through the speakers, begging me to come and play. I extract myself from the car with a serene smile stretching my lips. Heavy droplets pound against my skull, dropping down my hair and soaking every inch of me. Tentatively, I take a few steps, letting mother nature thoroughly soak through my clothes. Through my joy, I swirl with my arms stretched wide, capturing the moment.
“Little Star. What are you doing?” Callum asks in a raised voice, clutching his seat.
I chuckle, throwing my head back. The bitter rain beats down on my face when I stick my tongue out and collect the drops in my mouth, swallowing mouthfuls of fresh water. This is living. Feeling. This is fucking breathing for the first time in so damn long. There’s no work bogging me down. No heartbreak at the corners of my mind, haunting me.
I’m free.
My clothing clings to every inch of me, winding around my flesh like a second skin, stretching too tight and restricting my movements. My chest heaves. My fingers beg to tear into the fabric and remove it from the situation.
“Have you ever danced in the rain, boys?” I ask, lifting my T-shirt over my head with a grin, shivering when the ice-cold water pelts my bra-covered chest.
Water drips down my abdomen, making my stomach suck in from the chill spreading through me. No doubt I’ll need a hot, steamy bath with four hunky rock stars after this. Maybe some hot coffee to ward off the chill. And then, a cuddle pile to end the night.
Without hesitation, I do the same with my socks, shoes, and my jeans. Leaving them in a heap in the muddy grass as I take a few steps back in nothing but my bra and thong.
I do a twirl with my arms out wide. This is what true freedom feels like. It’s so damn liberating. Here I am in the middle of nowhere, nearly naked, with four sets of eyes glued to my every move. I swear, even through the sheets of rain, I see their eyes dilate with thick amounts of lust.
“I have,” Kieran remarks through the commotion.
I stop my spin, grinning at his memory. It’s funny how he forgot so much about me and our early childhood. Thanks to Nigel, Asher’s father. Yet, in times like this, his memories sneak up on him and slap him upside the head, reminding him of the ghost he left behind in the apartments.
I grin. “It was summertime. A random warm rain had just come through. We were on the hill behind our apartment building. It was either we stay dry…”
“Or my guitar does,” he marvels, scratching at his chin with a little chuckle.
“So, we chose your guitar to leave under the secret spot.”
“Then you grabbed my hand and led me out into the rain,” he says, blinking several times and watching me, curling my fingers in their direction.
“So. What do you say? Do you guys fancy a cold dance in the rain on our last night before we return to East Point?” I ask, moving to the center of the front yard with my arms stretched out wide. Leaning my head back, I take a deep breath.
A drum booms in my chest, knocking against my ribs when they sit in the car, darting their eyes at one another. After a few agonizing seconds, they slowly climb out, shutting the doors behind them with predatory intent in their eyes. One by one, they take their shirts, shoes, and pants off. Together, they collect my clothes and shut them in the SUV.
I suck in a breath at their unholy, ripped bodies on display for me and only me. Oxygen refuses to fill my lungs when they walk in unison toward me. No, not walking. They’re stalking toward me with hooded eyes. Each of them looks like they’re about to sink their teeth into my flesh and mark me as theirs. Fuck. Maybe that’s what I want. You know, a wall of man meat decked out in muscles and tattoos. And they’re all fucking mine.
Their feet squish in the grass, squelching with every step they take with vicious smirks lining their lips and eyeing each other when they finally stop before me. All their gazes fall on me, taking me in. Inch by miserable inch, flames lick at my flesh from the intensity of their stares. I no longer feel the icy burn of the rain—just the deep heat blossoming in my guts.
“This is for you, River Blue,” Kieran says over the noise. “Everything from here on out is for you. For Lyric.”
“We all agree,” Asher says, blinking rapidly as raindrops collect on his eyelashes.
“Everything we do is for you, Pretty Girl.”
“Never again will you wonder if we’re in this,” Callum says, licking his lips.
“We’re all in, River Blue. And you’ll never get rid of us now,” he says, discreetly eyeing the other boys. They nod in unison.
The entire world flips on its axis and stops spinning. One by one, they fall to their knees in worship, staring at me with lust dripping from their eyes. More than lust. It’s dedication. Once again, they’re proving to me that they’ll drop everything for me. Even to their knees in a time of uncertainty and chaos.
Fuck. My heart stops working. I’m a dead woman walking as I stare at them.
“What the hell are you doing?” I breathe, putting a hand on my chest.
“Kneeling before our queen,” Kieran says, grinning when he sees my expression.
“Long live our queen!” Rad hoots, tossing his fist into the soaked air.
“What the fuck,” I mutter. “You guys don’t have to do that.”
Although I had envisioned it a long time ago—them on their knees, begging me to forgive them for what they did. Only in that scenario, I turned my back on them with a humph. Back then, these boys could have done nothing to earn my forgiveness.
Oh, how the times have changed since they sauntered back into my life with cocky attitudes. They’ve proven themselves to me over and over again. There’s no way I could turn my back on them. Not after everything we’ve been through.
Our tale is fucked up, but it’s the kind of fucked up I never want to give up. No relationship is perfect, and we’re the prime example. Not only because there are four of them and one of me, but because of the past.
Callum smiles, shifting his weight. “We told you we’d get on our knees for you.” Wait…I don’t recall this conversation. How drunk was I before? Shit. Did I demand this of them? “And you said you better, Little Star.”
“Facts,” Rad agrees with a grin.
Well, shit. Maybe I was drunker than I thought after the show. I slightly recall asking them to kneel in the back room. But that was for a completely different reason.
“This is our devotion,” Asher says, clearing his throat. “We know you’ll have doubts, Little Brat. We know you’ll fall and break and cry. But we’ll always be here to pick you up when necessary. We’re your nets when you fall.”
Be still my beating heart.
I blink several times, letting my stupid tears mix with the rain. “All in?” I croak, watching them as they nod in agreement. “You’re seriously just… Wanting to dive back into this? Aren’t you scared?”
“Absolutely frightened,” Callum says, climbing to his feet. “You’re not the only one terrified. I know you remember how it felt to have us leave you. And how it tore you apart to have those restraining orders handed to you. But I remember, too, Little Star. I remember how Van kissed you and how it broke me in two. I know he did it. Not you. You weren’t to blame. But I’m working through that. I meant what I said on stage. You’re my first and last. My one and only. I’ll never look at another woman the way I look at you. My light in the darkness. My bright galaxy in this dismal universe,” he mutters, capturing my face between his palms. The warmth of his body soaks through the coldness seeping into my aching bones.
“All in,” I confirm, even when my gut squeezes with anxiety.
“All fucking in,” Rad says from behind me, putting his warm hands on my hips. “The only Pretty Girl I see.”
“Better than your groupies?” I hum in ecstasy when Callum’s lips press against the side of my mouth.
“No one compares to you, Pretty Girl. Callum had his fighting. Asher had his music. Kieran had…his anger. I had them to try to forget about you. It never fucking worked. You’re my girl. You always have been and always will be. I’m just so fucking sorry I sought?—”
“No,” I interrupt, turning in Callum’s embrace to face Rad. Sadness pulls down his expression, and hurt flies through his dark eyes. “You don’t have to be sorry. We were not together. You thought I cheated on you… That’s… It’s all in the past, okay? We live for the now.” My fingers delicately trace his jawline, holding him in my grasp.
“You’re mine,” he whispers, devouring my face with his lust-filled eyes, dropping down until they rest on my lips. “I’m going to kiss you now. Then, we’re going to take you inside and fuck your brains out. Okay, Pretty Girl?”
“We’ve been hanging by a thread, River Blue,” Kieran murmurs, caressing my cheek.
Shit. When did they all get off their knees and surround me? No matter. My pussy flickers to life at the sound of their promises.
“Is that a promise?” I murmur, darting my eyes to Rad.
His grin lights up the dismal weather, and he snorts. “More than a promise. It’s a damn commandment now. Thou shalt pleasure River with tongues, dicks, fingers, and toes.”
“Dude, no toes,” Callum grumbles, pressing the warmth of his lips against my exposed neck, licking and sucking at the water still falling on us.
“No toes,” I say, wrinkling my nose.
“But the commandment says,” Rad whines playfully, gripping my chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “And whatever it says, goes.”
“I really don’t want toes near my—” My eyes widen when Rad cuts me off, thrusting his tongue into my mouth with a groan.
Rad’s soft lips envelop mine, marking me as his when his moans vibrate, mixing with my own. You’d never be able to hear it over the roar of the rain still pounding down on us.
The caresses of his tongue glide against mine in a slow, sensual swirl, sending frantic sparks of desire through my body. Everything lights up inside of me, just like the lighting flashing overhead and sending shocks of electricity through every inch of my body. I melt into Rad like putty in his hands. Simultaneously, leaning into Callum at my back.
My breath quickens as the kiss hits an all new height, taking me fucking captive. My heart threatens to leap out of my chest when Callum grinds his hardness against my ass with a groan. His fingers curl around my waist as his warm breath brushes over my flesh. I nearly die when his teeth sink into the sensitive flesh of my neck, and an orgasm sits at the cusp of letting loose. And they’ve barely touched me.
When Rad pulls back, I chase his lips, eager for more.
“Let’s go inside,” Rad whispers, tightening his hold on my face. “Let’s get you dried off and then wet all over again. I can’t wait to show you my new piercings. You’re going to love them, Pretty Girl. They’re going to hit all the right spots deep inside your pussy.” He grins with his eyes darting south, toward his dick straining against his boxers.
Right. His piercings. Something he’s hinted at before. But now? I’m about to take the plunge.
“You’re wet for us, aren’t you, River Blue?” I gasp when Kieran’s fingers pull my wet panties aside and thrust inside me. There’s no running his fingers through my lips or testing it out. He went straight for the gold. And dear god, I flutter around him, yelling at the rain pounding down on me.
“Dude,” Rad says when Kieran thrusts again, chuckling.
“Oh, fuck off,” I mumble with a heavy tongue. “I haven’t gotten laid in years.” Orgasms, sure. But getting dicked down beneath the sheets with an actual man? Nah. I haven’t had the time.
“Yeah, let’s get her inside,” Kieran says, kissing my cheek and removing his fingers. “Eyes on me, River Blue.” My world collapses into little pieces when he shoves his fingers into his mouth, licking away my cum from his flesh with a groan. “How I’ve missed the taste of you.” Flicking his tongue out again, he makes sure to swallow every piece of evidence glistening on his fingers. His eyes dilate to almost black. And I swallow hard when my eyes fall on his dick, standing at attention.
I yelp when Callum turns me around, picking me up without effort. His hands grip my ass tightly as he marches toward his clothes and digs out his keys. Before I know it, we’re in the safety of his home, but he doesn’t stop until he deposits me on his king-sized bed.