Second Shift (Steele Valley Voltage #1)

Chapter 1

Silas

Five Years Ago

“What are you saying, Kates?” My heart pounds as panic courses through me. After everything we’ve been through, she can’t do this. She can’t leave. I didn’t risk a lifelong friendship for it to end like this. Oakley Slater—the girl I’d sell my soul for—did not just tell me she’s done.

Her pleading eyes bore into mine, the visible pain chipping away another piece of my heart. A mask of indifference slips into place as she locks away her thoughts and emotions.

“I’m saying,” she says, “this isn’t fair, and I can’t keep doing it. I can’t chase your dream and put mine on hold anymore. I just can’t.”

As the lie rolls off her tongue, it shatters something deep inside of me.

“You said this was our dream. Ours, Oakley.” My voice remains steady despite the fact that I feel like my insides have been ripped out. The girl I have been head over skates for since I was old enough to recognize love is giving up on us, and I don't even know why.

“I know I did. I know, and at the time…” She pauses, glacier-blue eyes looking anywhere but at me.

“I’ve been trying to pretend I’m okay, but with your contract signed and then the emails…

I don’t know.” Her hand grazes across her stomach as if nightmares from the last year are playing in her mind.

Yeah, well, they play in mine daily, too.

“This has to be some sick joke, Oakley Kate. I just signed my contract two weeks ago. It’s not like I can just decide, Hey, I’m done. I don’t want to play pro hockey.” I rake my fingers through my shaggy hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. “What the hell am I supposed to do, Kates?”

She remains silent as she spins her ring around and around, the stone I picked visible from my spot across the room.

“Help me out here, Katibug. What do I have to do to make this work?”

Oakley Kate shakes her head as the mask starts to slip. “Nothing, Silas. I need to get my life together, and I can’t do that here. I refuse to drag you down any more than I already have.”

“Baby girl, you aren’t making any sense. You realize that, right?” I take a step closer to her, gently cupping her cheeks as I try to understand whatever is going through her head right now. “We can work through it together.”

“I can’t…I can’t do this, Silas,” she whispers, her voice finally betraying the determination she wants me to see. “I can’t be who you need me to be.”

She’s said a lot that hurt, but this one hits harder, because for once, I don’t know how to fight for her without losing the very thing we’ve worked our whole lives for.

“Bullshit, baby. You’re exactly who I need. You’re all I need,” I say, trying one last time to convince her to stay.

“I don’t think I can be that girl anymore, the one who goes everywhere you go, all the travel, everything. Not after—” She cuts herself off as the sob she bites back forces its way through her tough exterior.

“Not after what, Kates? I can’t fix things if I don’t know what’s going on.”

She sighs and wipes her thumb under her eyes. God, her tears are gutting me.

“I saw the emails to the realtor,” she says.

“Damn it all the hell,” I grumble as I drag my fingers through my hair again.

She was never meant to see those emails.

“That’s what this is about? I bought a house, Oakley Kate.

I thought that was where we were heading after you let me put that ring on your finger.

If you’d rather stay in this little apartment, we can do that.

We could live in a cave for all I care.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“You bought a house! A big house with a fenced-in yard and a wraparound porch.” The way her voice breaks as her emotions finally take over nearly undoes me. “Silas, you bought a house for a family, one I will never be able to give you.”

That's when it clicks. All of it. The panic in her eyes, the not being what I need, our dreams no longer aligning.

“You are my family. If you were thinking clearly, you’d know this.”

The second the words are out of my mouth, I wish I could set fire to them.

“Kates—”

But she cuts me off, and her answer makes everything click into place.

“I had a pregnancy scare while you were gone. A scare. Not pregnant,” she says quickly as she takes in what is probably a not so comforting expression. “But it was enough to derail any progress I had made.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you bought a house?”

“It…didn’t seem like the right time,” I admit. I bought it before everything went sideways last year. After that, it never seemed like the right time to bring it up.

“I don’t want kids, Silas,” she whispers as another tear sneaks down her cheek.

“That isn’t a deal breaker for me. You should know that by now,” I say. “The only things in this life that I need are you and hockey, in that order. If that means we grow old with a dog, alpaca, or miniature Highland cow, so be it.”

Her lip tilts up, but it isn’t enough of a reaction to put me at ease.

“You want kids, Silas. Don’t lie to me by saying otherwise. You were made to be a dad. Find someone who will give you that. Don’t argue,” she says as she holds a hand out, daring me to interrupt. “I love you, but I refuse to let you resent me down the road because I can't carry your child.”

“Kates.”

“No, Silas,” she says. “You’re getting ready to kick off your career, and I will continue to be your biggest cheerleader from wherever I end up. I am beyond proud of you for chasing your dream, but I can’t be your girl while you do it.”

She turns her back to me as her hand rests on the doorknob. Pausing, she stares at her hand, her thumb running gently over the band on her ring finger, before reaching up with her other hand.

“Don’t you dare take that ring off, Oakley Kate,” I say, hating how my voice gives away the amount of pain I feel at the thought of her calling it quits.

“I’m doing it for you, hotshot,” she whispers as she slips off the ring and sets it on the shelf.

Her hand turns the knob, and I want nothing more than to yank her into my arms and force her to fight for us a little longer. Instead, I remain where I am, ready to beg, plead, and barter with whoever will listen if it means she doesn’t walk out that door.

She opens it and steps into the hallway without a sound.

“Oakley Kate!”

The desperation in my voice doesn’t stop her. She closes the door and doesn’t turn back.

At least, I don’t think she does. Is it wrong to hope she’s barely holding on and might shatter into a million pieces if she glanced over her shoulder? For a moment, I let myself hope she feels even a fraction of this same heartache before pushing the thought away.

She’s been dealt enough pain to last a lifetime. If running away, calling off our engagement, and breaking my heart is what she needs to do before she can see what’s right in front of her, then so be it.

She can chase a new dream. Live her own life. I’ll let her.

For now.

But I'll never stop loving Oakley Kate Slater.