Chapter Six
six
adrian
Drenched and in desperate need of answers, I hustle toward my sister and cousin, Gabe by my side. Maybe the timing of Hope’s arrival explains why Iris finally agreed to come out to the boat, though I can’t understand why my sister would want to witness the most awkward reunion of all time.
Hope still hasn’t mentioned why she’s here, but she asked about Marissa, so I’m guessing my cousin is behind her sudden appearance. Iris certainly isn’t the type to interfere. She’s always let me own my choices, even if they don’t align with hers, which is why I wanted her to weigh in on the channel. But none of that matters right now, not until I figure out why Hope is in town, and on my boat, of all places.
I cast a glance at my shoulder to check whether Hope is staying put, and the sight of her on my boat makes me stumble. I couldn’t fault her if she changed her mind and decided to follow us. She has just as much a right to answers as I do, but my hands are shaking, and my stomach is clenched tight; all I want is to hear an explanation without an audience.
We pass an angler carrying tackle boxes and a net, baseball cap tugged low over her brow, whose eyes widen when she sees my face, but I walk past before she can make up her mind to ask the question. Aren’t you that shark guy from the internet? I get stopped pretty often around town, but right now talking to a stranger is the last thing I want.
I want answers, and I’d rather ask my family than embarrass myself in front of Hope. She wasn’t surprised to see me, but she didn’t know about the boat... And ugh, why did I have to get sentimental with the name?
But I know exactly why, and it’s the same reason my heart is hammering from the effort of walking away from her. What I don’t know is why she’s here, now, when I’ve long since given up hope of seeing her again.
Marissa darts a guilty look my way when we walk up, confirming my suspicions that she’s behind this. “Why is Hope here?”
Iris tips her chin, adjusting her glasses in the same gesture she likely aims at students who are chronically late to class. “Exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out.”
“I didn’t know you’d be here.” Marissa cuts my sister a glare, then frowns at me, and adds, “Either of you. I tried to get Hope out of there before she could see you, but well...” She gestures toward me, like my soaked clothes tell the story.
“You pushed her in?” My cousin is tough, but I can’t see her shoving anyone, let alone a friend, into the marina like a poolside prank.
“What? No! I was trying to get her to turn around, but she tripped. Once you went in after her, I figured the next best thing was to try to hustle Iris out of there while Hope was distracted.”
If she was half as distracted as I was, the sun could’ve fallen from the sky and she wouldn’t have noticed.
“But Iris refused to go.” Marissa glares at her again.
“Because this is childish,” Iris says. “You’re in your thirties and still scheming, setting people up—”
“I am not setting them up, for the last time.” Marissa sinks down onto the brick retaining wall and blows out a breath, shaking her head. “This is a disaster, and now Hope’s probably going to quit on us.”
Realization hits me like a punch in the gut. “ Hope is the new researcher?”
Shoulders slumped, Marissa shrugs like it’s a moot point. “She reached out and it seemed like ideal timing. Who better to bring onto the team than someone we know and trust?”
Trust? Hope and I built a life together, and then she walked away and let it fall to pieces. The woman I spent over half a decade with is now a stranger, and my cousin thought she’d be the ideal person to join our crew? There’s no way I can work alongside Hope for a day, let alone a whole summer.
“Not happening.”
“Weren’t you just saying we could use an extra pair of hands?” Gabe chimes in.
I’d forgotten he was there, and his presence is a fresh embarrassment. “Did you know about this?”
His silence stretches a beat too long. Guess that explains the line of questioning earlier. He was trying to gauge my reaction to Hope’s arrival. But why not just tell me? Before I can ask, Iris speaks up again.
“I thought I was here to offer feedback on your channel but seems you two are up to your old antics,” she says. “Should’ve known when you teamed up together drama would ensue.” Brows arched above her glasses, she divides a glance between Marissa and me.
Once again, I find myself taking the fall for one of my cousin’s wild schemes. Except this time, it’s not a mobile vet clinic run out of a Radio Flyer wagon. She’s interfering in my personal life and putting our work in jeopardy. Ignoring my sister for the moment, I tell Marissa, “It’s our channel. You’re not supposed to make unilateral decisions.”
“We agreed we needed another research assistant. Hope is qualified and available,” she says. “You’re suggesting I should’ve wasted time searching for someone else with the season already underway?”
“It’s too complicated.”
“Why, because you two have a history?”
We don’t have a history. We have a present. Hope is with me every day—her dry humor, her copper-bright eyes, her pure, undiluted enthusiasm—I can’t escape her when she’s a thousand miles away. How will I survive the torture of having her onboard all summer, yet further than ever?
Marissa crosses her arms, tipping her head back to look me in the eye. “You’re saying you wouldn’t hire someone qualified just because they’re not your favorite person?”
I flinch. Hope was my favorite person. Maybe always will be, in spite of how things ended. “Don’t relegate this to the hypothetical. Hope is my ex-girlfriend.” I’ve never said that word aloud, and it nearly chokes me. It feels like such an understatement for the bond I thought we had with each other.
I glare down at Marissa. “Why don’t you invite one of your exes to work with us?”
“You know I don’t date scientists. Too inquisitive. I like to keep some mystery in a relationship.” She stands up, facing me down, not looking at all remorseful for colossally screwing with my life. Our lives. No way accepting this job was easy on Hope.
“But if I did,” she says, “I’d be fine with having them onboard, because I’m over all my exes. Hence why we’re no longer together.”
“You’re saying I still have feelings for Hope?”
Everyone stays silent. That’s answer enough, and I grit my teeth, embarrassed. This is why I never bring her up. With the revolving door of friends thanks to switching schools so often, Marissa became the friend I could always count on, and with the difference in our ages, Iris helped raise me, so I’ve never been able to hide my feelings from either of them. Should’ve known they’d see my refusal to talk about Hope as proof my feelings for her are a jumbled wreck.
Unable to deal with their scrutiny, I peer back at the boat again. Hope’s still there, pacing. Waiting for me. Wondering what’s going on.
Just like I was, three years ago, waiting for her to make up her mind about our future. Discovering she might not want a life with me, and being too cowardly to find out for sure, until her silence gave me the answer I dreaded.
“Damn it, Marissa.” My skin is itchy under a film of salt and silt, my heart feels bruised, and my head is spinning. I could blame the dizziness on the impromptu plunge, but the truth is Hope knocked my world off its axis the day we met, in the best possible way, then left me reeling.
I close my eyes against the sight of her standing in the bow of my boat, named before I’d given up hope of a future with her in it. “She can’t stay.”