Chapter 1 #4
Klarissa continued. “Let somebody make you smile… even if it’s just for the weekend…
even if it’s just a lil’ distraction. I ain’t saying be dumb and go marry the nigga; hell, you don’t even gotta like him like that.
But sis…” She paused, leveling me with a look.
“Let yourself be a woman again, not a wound. Chess, you got hella ass, beauty, and edges! God gave you all of that for a reason! Use it! Let that man rub on your booty in front of the fireplace like y’all on the cover of a toxic romance novel.
Let him wash a dish or two in them gray sweatpants—no drawers.
Let him be the reason your curls frizz up and not your feelings.
” She smirked. “I’m just saying, if you gon’ be sad, at least be sad with your back arched and a playlist on.
Depression don’t hit the same when your legs in the air, and he’s humming Jodeci. ”
I covered my face with my hands and laughed.
“Klarissaaaa! Why are you like this?!”
But deep down, I wasn’t completely against the idea.
She shrugged, unapologetic. “Who knows... a little fireplace fondling, ass slapping with intention while cinnamon rolls rise in the oven, and some dishwashing dick might be just what the doctor ordered.”
I scrunched up my face in confusion. “Some what?” I giggled. “You know what… don’t even answer that.”
Klarissa rolled her shoulders in a slow motion and lifted her coffee cup in a silent toast, basically saying, Do with that information what you will.
I sighed. “Alright, I’ll give him a call,” I lied for the sake of ending the conversation.
No part of me wanted to spend a weekend in the mountains with Adrian.
It had less to do with him, and more of the significance of the cabin.
That cabin meant too much; it held my memories, my grief, and my joy.
Letting him, or any guy other than Bryce, near it felt wrong…
disrespectful, even. I also wasn’t about to sacrifice my peace just to pretend we were something we weren’t.
Klarissa’s grin stretched ear to ear. “Good! And tell him to bring his fine self with some snow boots. The mountains don’t care nothing about pretty ankles.”
I rolled my eyes, laughing.
She grabbed her tote and headed for the door. “Alright, let me get out of here before my kids call a search party. Call me later and let me know the verdict.” She pointed two fingers at her eyes and then at me. “Don’t chicken out.”
“I won’t,” I fibbed again, plastering a simpering smile.
“Mm-hmm.” She smirked. “I’ll talk to you later, boo.”
When the door clicked shut behind her, the room felt twice as quiet.
Adrian, the complicated “thing” I’d gotten myself wrapped up in over the past five months.
Adrian was a gentleman, in fine in that quiet, bookish, clean-beard, well-raised kind of way.
He was the kind of man who opened doors without thinking about it, paid attention without making it weird, and remembered the smallest details without being asked.
He even brought me coffee once without ever asking how I liked it…
and somehow nailed it the very first time.
Not to be mistaken, Adrian wasn’t soft. He had just enough roughness in him to keep me on my toes. He displayed that quiet, controlled alphaness I loved in a man. That mix of gentle, hood, slight humor, and dominant was exactly why I kept him around.
When we spent time together, it was easy…
and comfortable. We laughed, talked, enjoyed each other’s company, and had great sex, but that was where it stalled.
We hadn’t crossed into each other’s real lives—not even close.
I didn’t know his people; he didn’t know mine.
Hell, I hadn’t met a single friend of his.
We existed in this little bubble of school hallways, low-key restaurants, and hotel key cards; a controlled space where feelings couldn’t grow too wild. And honestly? I preferred it that way.
I wasn’t looking for anything deeper; I just wanted a little something to take the edge off life.
I wanted a man who could give me good dick every now and then, someone besides Klarissa who actually understood the emotional weight of my job, and could make me laugh, really laugh, on a regular basis, but especially on the days grief tried to swallow me whole.
Adrian filled those spaces without asking for anything I didn’t have to give.
In conclusion, Adrian had husband material written all over him.
He was the type of man women prayed for, bragged about, and built families with, but I wasn’t in a place where “good” automatically translated to I see a future with you.
So while Adrian might’ve been looking at me through a forever lens, to me, he was more like a gentle detour in my healing.
My phone buzzed just as I was wiping down my whiteboard.
Lo and behold… it was Adrian.
Think of a man, and he shall call you.
I thought about him for a good minute, and my phone, apparently minding my business, decided to put his name front and center. Since you were wondering, it seemed to say.
I considered letting it go to voicemail; not because Adrian annoyed me, but because when we talked, he usually held me on the phone for a good hour. Most days, I was okay with that, but that day, I just didn’t have that kind of battery life in my spirit.
Right as my thumb hovered over Decline, I could practically feel Klarissa tapping me on the shoulder in spirit, saying something slick along the lines of, “I wish you wouldn’t answer.”
I rolled my eyes at my own imagination, then hit Accept and pressed the phone to my ear.
“Hey, Adrian,” I answered casually, keeping my tone even.
“What’s up, C Baby?”
I cringed so hard I had to close my eyes and breathe through it.
It’s Chesteria to you, nigga!
That was wild. Out of every nickname on God’s green Earth, he somehow picked the exact one Bryce used to call me. No man, other than Bryce, was allowed to call me that. Anybody else saying it felt like someone stepping into a room he still owned.
“Adrian, I’ve told you not to call me that,” I reminded him for what felt like the twelfth time… and counting, third eye roll, and maybe the second coming of the Lord.
Who knows at this point?
Still, I didn’t say it in a mean way; just a matter-of-fact, with the slightest sting, so he understood I was serious.
“Damn… you did. My bad. That’s on me, beautiful. It won’t happen again,” he apologized with sincerity.
“It’s cool,” I murmured, lowering myself into my chair.
My classroom was quiet. The overhead lights hummed just loud enough to remind me that I was still on school grounds.
“So… what’s up?” I asked, tapping my nails lightly on my desk.
"I was just checking in to see how your last day of the semester went. You finally free from grading the million essays and toddler attitudes?"
I laughed softly. "Pretty much. They drained me this year… especially the grown ones who think turning something in late with a sob story automatically earns them an A."
“Sounds like me in high school,” he admitted with a laugh. “Except I didn’t have no sob story… just nerve and audacity.”
That pulled a small, polite chuckle out of me, even if I wasn’t fully there.
There was a small pause, then he cleared his throat. “But nah, I really called to see what you had planned for this weekend. I know the holidays coming up, and I figured you might get booked and busy with family stuff, so I was hoping to see you before all that.”
Family stuff? That told me everything I needed to know about how surface-level our connection really was.
If Adrian truly knew me, he’d know I didn’t have a big family waiting on me, no cousins piling into the living room, no siblings arguing over board games, no matching pajamas, no domino tournaments, no sound of kids fighting sleep in the hallway or loud kitchen full of people baking cookies or sneaking icing with their fingers.
Christmas for me wasn’t chaotic, crowded, or warm; it was just… me.
“I’m actually heading out of town this weekend—to the Shenandoah–Blue Ridge area in Virginia. You ever heard of it?” I asked, straightening a stack of papers on my desk just to keep my hands busy.
“Yeah. That’s the mountain area, right? Real pretty out there.”
“Mm-hmm,” I affirmed. “I’m going there. I own a cabin up that way.”
Co-own, I corrected silently, since he didn’t need to know that.
Adrian hummed, intrigued, maybe even impressed. “Own, huh? That’s what’s up. So… is this gonna be like a girls' trip type thing?”
“No, solo,” I replied quickly. “It’s been my little escape spot for a while now, so I usually go by myself. I like it better that way.”
I heard him exhale, soft but noticeable.
Adrian didn’t sound disappointed, just more contemplative, as if he were processing it. That was another thing I appreciated about him. He always respected my boundaries, even when he didn’t fully understand them.
“Solo?” he repeated, like it was a foreign word.
“Yup. Just me, myself, and peace.”
Adrian was quiet for a beat.
“I respect that,” he finally said. “But I was kinda hoping I’d get to see you before everything gets crazy.
Holidays be having everybody ghosting or playing busy.
I figured we could spend some time together, more than just a few hours, and at least see if this spark we got actually burns, you feel me? ”
His voice dropped a notch, all low and persuasive; the kind that convinced women to make dumb decisions with a smile on their face and regret tucked in their back pocket. And maybe it wasn’t dumb, but it was unexpected.
“I wouldn’t mind going with you… that’s if you’re open to some company,” he added, voice deep and sincere.
He wants to join me at the cabin? My sacred place tucked away from the bustle of everyday life?
I hesitated, feeling a flutter of both excitement and apprehension.
“Um… don’t you have to work? Like, be on call?” I replied, trying to wrap my mind around the idea of having him there.