Chapter 8 #2
Adrian blinked. “Damn, I ain’t deserving of a candlelight vigil? A balloon release? A shirt with my face on it? Not even a moment of silence or a little ‘rest in peace’ before you move on, Chesteria?”
“Don’t put me in any of that! But since you did, you would’ve gotten a Facebook post. That’s it. The way you showed out tonight, you’d be lucky if I added a dove emoji.”
“Not a ‘we lost a real one’? Not even ‘fly high’? Damn, that’s fucked up. I see where I stand,” Adrian muttered, half-hurt, half-amused.
“Look, fuck all that!” I roared, then focused on Isis. “Put that damn phone away! And don’t record shit else while we’re here… especially when you around me.”
Isis smacked her lips, ready to say something slick, but the look I gave her made her think better of it and scramble to keep that thought to herself.
I locked eyes with everyone in the room, wearing the stare of a Black mama who had just discovered something expensive had been broken and missing for over a week, and everybody knew but her. Nobody said nothing, everybody lying, so now everybody gotta catch a whoopin’ ‘til the truth comes out.
“Who the fuck left the door unlocked?”
They all looked at each other.
Adrian spoke up first. “Not me,” he answered, a little too fast for my liking.
“Wasn’t me,” Chesteria added, calm but firm.
Deep down, I knew Chesteria didn’t do no stupid-ass shit like that.
She knew I ran a tight ship when it came to the cabin—doors were locked by nightfall, heat was checked twice, and a strict emergency plan was always in place.
She also knew I had a zero-tolerance policy for liars, so she wouldn’t have lied to my face.
“Definitely wasn’t me,” Isis said, hand pressed to her heart, delivering her statement as if she were testifying in court with Jesus as her cosigner.
I chuckled darkly and flicked the tip of my nose.
“Somebody’s lying… and I got a strong feeling who.
I was the last one up, checking this bitch like I check niggas with shaky knees and nervous energy—thorough and with zero fuckin’ grace.
I locked this door. So if the shoe fits, lace it up and walk your ass into the truth. ”
Still silence.
I paced around the door. “Let me break this down… for those who don’t know,” I began, crossing my arms. “This ain’t no regular Airbnb deadbolt.
This cabin has a custom-designed lock that is BEAR-certified…
specially designed to keep wildlife out.
And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout stray raccoons or a curious deer. That means no bear on Earth, I don’t care if it’s on steroids, got opposable thumbs, watched a YouTube tutorial, took an online locksmith course, or even went to Harvard Law and passed the bar, can get in if the lock is secured…
unless a dumbass human forgets to lock it. ”
I paused, then turned slowly and sliced my eyes straight at Adrian and Isis, since I knew Chesteria was innocent.
“If that happens,” I continued. “This ain't a cabin no more; it’s a damn Bearbnb.”
Isis giggled nervously; the kind a person gives off when they just realized their life flashed before their eyes. Adrian, on the other hand, was biting his lip like he was chewing on guilt.
“So again... who left it open? Somebody better start talkin’ before I start pointing… or shooting.”
That’s all it took.
Adrian finally mumbled, “Aight, man… damn. It was me. I went out for a smoke. I thought I clicked it back—”
I closed my eyes. “You thought?”
Chesteria exhaled. “What the fuck, Adrian?!”
“Right!” Isis surprisingly agreed. “You could’ve gotten us all killed, and I have plans next weekend that I wouldn’t be able to attend if I’m laid up in a casket, looking like a discontinued mannequin!”
“I was high!” Adrian shot back in his defense, waving his arms. “I didn’t know the lock was that serious!”
I walked up to him, face inches away. “So let me get this straight, you left the door unlocked? In a bear country? At night? Because you needed a lil’ stress reliever?”
“Yeah! Yesterday was a stressful ass day!”
“You wanna know what else relieves stress? Not dying!”
“Look, I heard about bears breaking and entering in the woods, but I didn’t think we’d be the ‘based on a true story’!”
“Never underestimate the wilderness. And that’s yo’ fuckin’ problem; you think everything is funny and a goddamn game!” My voice boomed.
I stepped even closer, jaw tight.
“Nigga, we’re in the mountains! You think the wildlife clocks out at five? You think bears say, ‘Oh, nah, it’s late, let’s respect their sleep’? Leaving a door open in bear territory is basically saying, ‘Hi, I volunteer as tribute!’”
Isis giggled lowly. “Not tribute!”
“And you,” I spun and pointed at her, “over here screaming, sounding like a dinner bell dipped in hot sauce! All you did was make the bear curious!”
“I instantly became traumatized when I saw that bear!” she whined.
“You’ve been traumatized, Isis; this just added seasoning,” I shot back. “I swear if you scream again for no reason while we’re here, I will personally roll yo’ ass in honey and toss you off the porch.”
Isis gasped. “That’s so mean!”
“And accurate.”
She folded her arms with a pout, mumbling under her breath.
Adrian suddenly stepped up. “Aye, my bad, aight? I fucked up. But you ain’t gotta take it out on her.”
“Oh?” I arched a brow. “You got sympathy now?”
He squared up slightly, lifting his chin. “Real talk, you ain’t keep talkin’ to me like I’m somebody’s lil’ bitch.”
Oh… so he found some courage in the smoke pack.
I smirked slow, dark and dangerous, and then asked him, “Who the fuck you talking to?”
“You, nigga,” he boldly responded.
“Say it again. Go ‘head… make my night. I been itching for an outlet since I pulled up to this bitch.”
Chesteria hurried between us; one hand on Adrian’s chest, one on mine.
“Okay! That’s enough,” she snapped, looking between us. “Let’s not do this. It’s too early and too cold for this. A mistake was made—a very dumb, weed-hazy, bear-inviting, ‘this-could’ve-been-a-Netflix-docuseries’ type of mistake—but we’re alive. Let’s leave it there.”
I backed up an inch, breathing heavy.
“You two city clowns don’t realize where you are.
This ain’t brunch in Buckhead; this is the wilderness…
the mountains… where rules apply! I ain’t got no problem with you smoking, but do that shit in socks, while whispering to yo’ ancestors and making sure every inch of this damn house is secured before you slither back in. ”
I shook my head, eyes narrowing as my voice dropped to a deadly whisper, as I stepped so close he could smell my breath.
“Just know… if that bear had laid a single paw on Chesteria, you wouldn’t have had to worry about locking no doors ever again; I would’ve dragged you out by yo’ scalp and fed yo’ ass to the rest of the forest. Personal delivery… no tracking number… just bones.”
The room went dead silent.
Isis blinked, then raised her hand slightly. “Well, what about me? Don’t I matter too?”
I looked right through her like she was part of the wall, then turned slightly, chest still heaving.
“Everybody go back to bed," I growled. “And let’s hope somebody don’t wake up with Bigfoot spooning them.”
I turned to head back, still clutching my gun, mind racing. I kept my pace steady, but I was fuming.
I can’t believe this shit. Chesteria really brought this soft ass nigga up here with her?
A grown ass man who screamed louder than a toddler with night terrors just ‘cause he saw a little fur? A nigga who damn near got us all mauled by a bear ‘cause his high was calling? One who jumps at creaks, whines through survival, and probably ain’t didn’t even carry the groceries in.
Hell no.
Ain’t no way I’m walking out that door, leaving Chesteria here with somebody like that.
If the generator goes out, he’ll probably cry, light a candle, and start praying on Live, like, “Y’all, pray for me.
It’s dark out here.” If the propane happens to run low, I could see him calling his mama, and then DoorDash.
Let a raccoon blink too hard, he’s liable to scream, “It’s rabid!
” A spider? That’s a 911 call. A mosquito bite? Funeral arrangements and GoFundMe.
Yeah… I’m staying.
Chesteria don’t need a man who panics before he protects, screams first and thinks second, or folds at the first sign of nature; she needs somebody who’ll stand between her and the wild—whether it’s a bear or bullshit.
And until she sees that for herself, I’m not going anywhere…
even if I gotta watch her tolerate a clown just to remind her who the real man is.