33. Cole
Chapter thirty-three
Cole
The lines may have been blurry before, but they were still visible.
But now?
It’s like they were washed away in the current, scrubbed from existence—and I only have myself to blame.
While I know I need to take a step back from her, and everything we’re doing, I just don’t want to.
I’ve never had an issue knowing a girl I was sleeping with could be doing the same with other people. But with Jenna…It’s just not what I want. I didn’t want it when the lines were clear, and I sure as shit don’t want her seeing anyone else now. I won’t be kissing or even touching another woman unless my job requires me too.
Even then, Jude relies mostly on angles, so while it might look like a kiss on screen, our lips have never even come close.
But this is where shit is getting confusing, because while I didn’t want to share her; we’re friends, and nothing more. Given the amount of times both of us have said that seven letter word, it still sounds completely wrong.
Forced, even.
Friendship with women has always been a foreign concept to me. It’s not that I’ve avoided it, it’s that women only saw me for one thing.
A good time.
None of my previous relationships lasted longer than a month or two. I got bored quickly, and all they wanted to do was talk about the future. It’s just the person I was, and the person I think I still could be.
Jenna doesn’t need to get caught in the crossfire, and I try to remind myself of it constantly whenever my mind attempts to picture what our future could look like.
Because if anyone was to get hurt at the end of all of this, it would be her.
I used to hope she and I would remain on the same page until the very end, and we’d go our separate ways. But the words written in our story seem to have a mind of their own, blending together so easily, and I don’t want to run out of pages.
God, this shit is hard.
I thought I was in the clear—I thought I had nothing to worry about.
Then I spent the night and day at her place, helping her deal with the effects of her mom’s behavior.
When she helped me out with my lines, it didn’t feel like I was reading words off a script. It felt like I was talking to her , waiting to hear that Jenna wanted me in the way I’d hoped she did.
That’s when I was sure the switch had flipped for the both of us. I could see it in her soft blue eyes as she watched me, but I chose to ignore it.
Instead, I rushed out the door, putting it behind me, and forced myself to focus on my career—the reason I was even in this small town to begin with.
I’ve been hauled up in my apartment with Tate all afternoon, hearing his phone receive call after call and text after text, while he blows smoke up my ass to every single person he speaks to. The interview with Mara hasn’t even aired yet, and it’s already chaotic.
“Oh, you need a man to play the part of a vampire hunter? Cole is your guy,” he’d told someone. “You want him to play a serial killer? He could do that in his sleep,” he’d told someone else. “You want him to be a single dad? Easy.”
Meanwhile, I sat with my face buried in my hands with no means to escape.
Two months ago, I was a bartender, scrounging for coins, living in an apartment that was literally falling apart. Now I’m listening to my brother negotiating contracts about my career, hearing him talk figures I would never even thought were a possibility in this lifetime.
“You have a busy three years planned out,” Tate tells me with an exhausted sigh, finally throwing himself down onto the couch beside me.
“Just like that? No need to audition? They don’t want to meet with me?” I turn to face him, eyeing off his tired expression. “It can’t be that easy. I want to work for the jobs I get, not have them just handed to me.”
“I’m good at my job, Cole.” He unlocks his phone, and I watch over his shoulder as he constantly refreshes his emails.
“I don’t think they would’ve sent any contracts through that quickly,” I tease, lightening the mood, and I hear his phone locking again as he rests his back on the cushions. “Three years, though? That’s a lot of work,” I say.
He’s pushed the both of us to get to where we are now, but I don’t want to burn out.
“You’ll have a few months off in between,” he assures me. “But you can no longer live in that shit hole you call a home. So first thing’s first,” he says, phone still in hand as he opens a page that was already loaded—a property listing. “You and I are heading back to California tonight so you can view this apartment. You can afford it now.” He laughs, gripping my shoulder tight.
“The penthouse?” My eyes practically bulge out of my head as I flick through the images on the screen. Tonight? I want to question him, but I don’t. He doesn’t need to know that leaving Jenna alone might make her spiral, and I’m the only one who can provide her with the comfort she might need, seeing as her best friend is still away on her honeymoon.
“Right in front of the beach.” He wiggles his brows, knowing the ocean is the way to my heart. It’s the only thing I’ve missed since being here.
“And you’re sure I can afford it?” I ask, double-checking, because I just need to hear him tell me again. There are way too many zeros at the end of the price attached. Just seeing the number forces beads of sweat down my forehead.
Talk about the pressure to succeed.
“Twelve times over. With the money you’re getting from this movie, you’d be able to afford it without ever working again. Add the rest into the mix, and you’d be able to own every single penthouse in the city.”
“Right.” I nod. “But don’t you get lonely in your big apartment all by yourself?” I watch him closely for any sign of weakness, but he only gives me his signature, Tate-like grin—one I’ve seen too many times to count.
“Lonely? Bro, once these movies start pouring out of you, you’re going to have enough women to last until the end time.” He laughs, taking his phone, and going back to checking his emails. “Our flight leaves in three hours. Pack an overnight bag. I’ll have Marv arrange a driver to take us to the airport.” He rises from the couch without saying anything else.
“Wait, doesn’t our interview with Mara air tonight?” I say, and he stops in his tracks to face me.
He nods. “It does. But I can guarantee you don’t want to be here when it explodes. Especially if you and that girl are still pretending to be together.” He turns on his heels again, closing his bedroom door behind him.
That girl has a name.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, feeling an overwhelming need to pre-warn Jenna about what’s to come, and that I won’t be here in Grangewood if she needs me.
Me: Hey, just a heads up…
Me: Tate has arranged for us to look at some property in California in the morning, so he and I are flying out tonight. Do you need me to stay?
Snow: I’m fine, Cole. Do what you need to do.
Me: Also, that interview with Mara goes live tonight. It’s very typical Mara, if you know what I mean. Promise me you won’t read too much into it.
Snow: Did you sleep with her in NYC?
Snow: Not that I would care if you did, but I would just rather hear about it from you.
Me: No. I didn’t. I haven’t slept with anyone else since the night of the F&T awards.
Me: Promise me, Snow.
I watch as the three little gray dots appear and disappear countless times, and I wait impatiently for her to text me back. When I see her four little words, I let out a sigh of relief.
Snow: I promise. We’re all good.
If we’re all good, then why are my legs moving of their own volition toward the elevator, and why is my finger frantically hitting the down button?
If we’re all good, then why does my stomach churn with the certainty that by the time I get back from California, she and I will go back to being complete strangers?
I cannot go back to her pretending like I don’t exist.
I won’t.
I pound my fist on her door after checking to make sure it’s locked, waiting with my hands in fists by my sides until she opens the door.
“Cole, what are you doing here?” she asks, her pink lips looking extra pouty as she says my name like I make her nervous.
I like that I make her nervous.
“I just had to make sure we’re all good.” I gently push past her into the apartment I’ve grown to know well.
“Sure, make yourself at home,” she says sarcastically. “I told you, we’re all good. Nothing to worry about. Water?” she rambles, resorting to filling her glass from the tap so her hands are occupied, and I round the bench to follow her.
“I didn’t believe you.” I spin her to face me, loop my arms around her waist, grip her ass cheeks firmly, and lift her onto the marble countertop, capturing her mouth with mine. She moans quietly, the sound igniting the heat inside me effortlessly.
“What are you doing?” she asks, breathless and fucking beautiful, our faces mere inches apart.
“I just had to make sure.” I kiss her deeply, her lips parting the second she melts into me, a groan escaping the back of her throat.
When I pull away, she whimpers, our foreheads resting together as she brings her fingertips to her lips. “Are we good?” I ask again, my voice gravelly, and she nods once.
“We’re good. How much time do you have?” she asks, her chest rising and falling heavily, her hands at the hem of my t-shirt, ready to pull it over my head.
“Not enough for me to do everything that I want to do to you.” I kiss her lips again.
“Then go. We’ll make up for it when you get back.” She pushes me away with a sly smile, and I head out her door with the taste of her lingering on my lips.
***
“I never thought I’d ever physically see a place like that in real life, let alone be inspecting it for me to buy .” I shake my head in disbelief. The place is huge. Five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a gym, a mini bowling alley, and a luxurious kitchen that I’ll probably never use.
I bet Jenna would love to bake in it, though.
Not to mention the floor to ceiling windows in the main lounge room that overlook the ocean.
“You’re about to amount to big things, brother. Huge things. Live in it, and accept it.” Tate grips my shoulder with a smile. “You should be proud that you’ve been able to accomplish so much in such a short period of time. Especially with next to no experience under your belt.” He and I are side by side as we head out of the foyer, nodding our goodbyes to the doorman, Julius, who seems to not know how to smile.
The crisp, Californian sun is like a breath of fresh air, overwhelming my senses, and I feel suddenly homesick.
“It’s good to be back, even if temporarily,” I tell my brother. He and I head toward the beach.
“Oh, those movies you’re signed on for are all being shot here. You won’t be homesick for much longer,” he assures me, and I sigh with relief.
I like knowing that I’ll always be busy, but I hate knowing I won’t be home . And now it feels as though the universe is finally having my back.
“Have you heard much after the interview went live?” I ask him. It aired last night, and my decision to leave my phone behind was strategic. I tap the empty pockets of my jeans. “I don’t know what type of shit is being said.” I watch as my brother’s face shifts. He’s hesitating. “What?”
“So you haven’t seen all the articles floating around?” he asks, and I shake my head. He hands me his phone. It’s already open on an article.
“What is this?” I ask, seething as I scroll to see images of Mara and me backstage of the Morning Show, her hands on my chest, on my thigh, and in my hand.
It looks way too incriminating for me to deem it anything other than innocent.
“That, Cole, is called publicity. But I don’t imagine your girlfriend will be too pleased with it.”
“She’s not my girlfriend, Tate.” I flinch. “But I need my private life to remain that way.” I log into my social media, and hit the live function before I realize what I’m even doing.
“What’s up, everyone,” I say, my voice enthusiastic as I watch the number of viewers increase by the second. The comments take over my entire screen. “I just wanted to set the record straight. Mara and I are colleagues who happen to get along as friends off screen, too.” I pause and cringe internally before I attempt to continue.
“What the fuck are you doing?” My brother hisses.
“My brother and I are just enjoying the California sun until we head back to the town we’re filming in.” I flip the camera to show the five-hundred-thousand people my view. Turning the camera back to me, I clear my throat. “My private life is for me to enjoy, and I’d like to keep enjoying it without everyone wanting to know who I’m dating.” Tate elbows me in the ribs, and I wince. “Enjoy your day.” I end the live right before Tate whacks me over the back of the head, and I watch as thousands of comments go unanswered.
“What the fuck was that, Cole?” Tate steals his phone back from grip, logging out of my account, and shoving it into his pocket.
“Hey, you said it yourself. Any publicity is good publicity. I’m just giving the people what they want.” Laughter bellows through my chest as my brother follows, hot on my heels, and furious that I’ve done the complete opposite of what he wanted me to do.