Second to None

8. Cass

CHAPTER 8

Cass

B everly Hills, Saturday, August 16th

It had been almost six years since I’d come home to an empty house, only gaps where Levi’s things had been. Over time, I’d filled the holes, but I hadn’t redecorated. All those bits and pieces he’d left behind—they were still right there, holding their breath.

Like the grand piano in the music room that he’d insisted on, even though he only played to make me laugh. Like the room itself, its arched French doors framing the pool and garden.

I made sure to appear busy when Levi walked in with Mason in tow, too scared of what I’d see in his eyes. Pity, maybe, for a guy who was holding on to a love long gone. Jace and Ellis had already settled in, Jace with one of my guitars on his lap as he went through slow, familiar chord progressions, clearly a bit rusty.

“Good morning!” Mason boomed, far louder than the space required. “We’re here . Time to get this party started.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ellis waved from the floor, tucking his phone away. “Classics? Or do we try some new stuff?”

“Coffee,” Jace countered. “ Then classics.”

“Valid,” Mason said.

“You know where stuff is.” I pointed toward the kitchen, still keeping my attention off Levi even though I noticed the awkward slant of his shoulders.

“What kind of host are you?” Jace asked, the protest moot since he’d already set the guitar aside, rolling to his feet.

“With guests? Gracious and detail-oriented.” I shrugged. “But you’re family. So, serve yourselves.”

“Next you’ll have me moving cinder blocks,” Mason muttered, only to throw his left arm around Ellis’s shoulders, his right around Jace’s, and then march them out of the room. Levi remained near the door.

Well, subtle . If that wasn’t orchestrated…

I inhaled and raised my eyes to meet Levi’s, reaching for a smile that wouldn’t quite fit. “Welcome back, huh?”

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet, a little rough. “It hasn’t changed much.”

“I’m sorry,” was the only thing that came to my mind, and he frowned.

“What for?”

“I don’t know. So many things. And just… in general, I guess.”

He didn’t immediately reply, crossing the floor to perch on the very edge of the couch. Still the same. The sunlit room painted him in warm hues, his expression sad or maybe just thoughtful. “I think it’s time you stop apologizing.”

“Sorry,” I said, then caught myself. “I’m not—I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

One corner of his mouth hitched up. “Yeah, I know. But seriously, let’s just agree that we’re both sorry, okay? About different things. We’re sorry, now let’s move on.”

He was… Just… He was Levi . Still in my head and in my blood, steady and unshakable. I ran a hand through my hair and reminded myself that after a decade of media training, I knew how to cloak my emotions. “Okay, yeah. Deal.”

His eyes narrowed, brightened to a light green by the sun. “Are you okay?”

Yeah, so much for media training. I dropped the act and reached for a deflection that rang true. “I am. Just, I really hope you feel like you could have brought Emily?”

Something flickered, too quick for me to catch it. “I know, Cass. But today’s agenda isn’t exactly kid-friendly, and she’s got surfing lessons anyway.”

“Oh. That’s cool.” Virginia Beach was my hometown, but I didn’t have the balance of a surfer. Levi knew that, though. In the brief silence that fell, the others’ voices drifted through to us, along with the hum of my espresso machine that weighed as much as a small car. Levi had picked it.

“You kept the globe,” he said abruptly, his casual tone threaded with something deeper.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and glanced away, at where the sun was casting stark shadows across the lawn. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m not trying to erase our past, Lee.”

He shifted slightly on the couch, his response delayed by a beat. “Listen, Cass. If you’re serious about coming out…”

“I am.” The words hung in the air, far more certain than I felt. I angled myself to study the pattern of sun and shade across my lawn. “I’m tired of hiding, you know? Guess that’s how you felt back then—I get it now. So, yeah. I don’t know yet how I’m going to do this, but… I will.”

“That’s really brave,” he said.

I snapped my head around. “You think so?”

“Yeah. Sure takes more guts than what I did.”

Oh. My cheeks felt warm. “It’s not a competition.”

“No, it’s not.” His gaze softened, tension warm and thick between us. Summer pressed against the room. “So, anyway. If you still want me to, I’ll help.”

“You…” I swallowed, words as bright as stars swirling through the shadows of my mind. “Really?”

“Yes. But .” He held up a finger. “Emily stays out of it. No pretending in front of her, no making her lie, and the moment she becomes even just a side note to some article, I’m walking. That’s not negotiable.”

“Of course,” I said quickly, disbelief still pulling on the edges of my vision. Levi would… God, really? He’d be there, right next to me as though I hadn’t messed us up beyond repair?

There were ways to protect Emily—NDAs, private security, and a media strategy so airtight not even the tabloids would dare to trespass. My team would have to pull every string we had to keep her invisible, but they were damn good. I’d made sure of that.

“Also,” Levi said into the flood of my thoughts, “don’t try to buy me off with tour slots or whatever. That’s not how friendship works.”

Friendship. It stung, just a little, because I wanted more. But I deserved far less. I swallowed the ache and nodded. “Thank you, Levi. That’s… Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” His voice had dropped to something low and private, and for a moment, I wondered what would happen if I bridged the space between us. If I kissed him.

Then Mason’s barking laugh rang closer, followed by Ellis making some remark about how it wasn’t his fault if Jace burned his tongue. “Not your minder, bro.”

I looked at Levi just as he looked at me, and this time, my smile came without effort. Almost as easy as breathing.

* * *

The first notes were uneven before muscle memory kicked in and the harmonies clicked into place. Mason’s fingers stumbled on the guitar strings, though, while Ellis fumbled through the lyrics of his solo, Levi went a bit flat on his high notes, and I ran out of breath halfway through my part—a tribute to his attention rather than nerves. Jace jumped in to cover for me, just like we’d all used to do for each other, be it on stage or with awkward interview questions.

‘Um. Whether I’m the most likely to go solo? Not really, no.’

‘Although you do love a good spotlight, mate. Must be your sunny disposition.’

‘And didn’t I find that secret album in your sock drawer?’

‘Why were you rooting around my sock drawer?’

‘Matter of fact, we’re all soloists. Just at the same time, in the same band.’

‘Groundbreaking stuff, innit?’

PR-trained to within an inch of our lives, we’d been able to talk circles around most interviewers, organized chaos our trademark. Not because we were assholes, but because it was fair to fight fire with fire when someone tried to catch us on the back foot. Also, there were only so many times we could answer what we looked for in a girl without dissolving into synchronized eye rolls.

We’d been great together. I missed that sometimes—us against the world, knowing that someone would have my back if I floundered.

“Still got it,” Mason said once the last guitar notes faded. “Even if Ellis hasn’t done his reading assignment.”

“Fuck off,” Ellis told him, laughing.

“Aww, no. You love me, bro.” Mason, cross-legged on the floor, set the guitar aside to plant an obnoxious smooch on Ellis’s cheek. Inspired by K-pop bromances, playful physical affection had been a big part of our image—hugging, kisses on cheeks, ruffling each other’s hair. Over the months and years, we’d grown so used to it that we kept forgetting it wasn’t normal dude bro behaviour.

And then there’d been Levi and me, of course. Touches that lasted just a little longer, eye contact that held intent. Until we broke up and even a simple hug ached with what we’d lost.

“I hate you,” Ellis declared, wiping Mason’s spit off his cheek. “With a passion.”

“Hate sex!” Jace leaned forward to high-five both of them.

“Lads.” While Levi shook his head, arms crossed, his stance was casual, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. My attention lingered for a beat. “Thought we were here for a practice session. We can be idiots later.”

“Idiots?” Mason asked. “Speak for yourself.”

“Levi is right, though,” I said. “We’ve got hours to go before we’re ready to record anything.”

“Cass siding with Levi?” Ellis winked. “How novel.”

A joke with a kernel of truth. I didn’t quite know how to respond, but Levi stepped in with, “That’s because he’s smart enough to recognize a good idea when he hears it.”

“Must be it,” Jace said, all saccharine. Traitor.

“Speaking of good ideas…” Mason slid down to sprawl out on the carpet, his feet on the couch, his head pillowed on my thigh. “We should post some pictures. Nothing too obvious, though.”

“Like breadcrumbs?” Ellis asked, and it tripped me up for a moment—that I, that we , now had the power to do it. Just like that. Back in the day, I couldn’t have put a toe out of line without extensive PR review. I still had a team, of course. But they no longer dictated my life.

“Hansel and Gretel, the Neon Circuit edition?” Levi perched on the piano stool and tucked his hands between his thighs. “Jace posts a picture of Mason’s guitar, Mason posts Ellis drinking coffee, Ellis posts one of Cass and me on the sofa, leaning over some notes…”

Mason propped himself up on his elbows to shoot Levi a probing look. “You and Cass, huh?” His tone implied that Levi must have told him something, and I glanced at Levi just in time to catch his pointed eyebrow raise.

“Yes, Mason,” he said slowly, meaningfully. Then his gaze darted to Ellis and Jace before it settled on me, a question in his eyes. Still protecting me—just like he always had. Was I wrong to lean on him again? I couldn’t hope for another chance if I was still the same person who’d broken us.

“I want to come out,” I told Jace and Ellis. “Which—you knew that already. But, uh. I asked Levi if he’d…” Pose as my boyfriend because it seemed less scary than asking him out for dinner. Kind of true, but also, Jesus, what had I been thinking ? Definitely not something I was ready to admit. Maybe to Mason, at some point. “If he’d help me start some rumors.”

“Huh,” was the extent of Jace’s response, his face shrewdly calculating.

Ellis poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek so it popped out. “Could’ve asked me, you know? I’m an excellent kisser.”

“You’ve got a wife and a two-year-old,” Levi told him. “’Homewrecker’ isn’t quite the rebrand Cass wants.”

Mason opened his mouth, a gleam of amusement in his eyes, then closed it again. I almost let it slide. Then I remembered our last year as a band, how all the things we didn’t say had widened the cracks between us.

“Spit it out,” I told him.

He hesitated before he shot me a smile, something almost proud in its tilt. “All right. I was about to make a stupid joke about how it’s cute, the way Levi is slipping right back into his protective boyfriend role.”

“That’s just Levi,” I said and didn’t dare look at him. “He’d defend someone to the death, even if they don’t deserve it. That’s just who he is .”

“Maybe.” Mason’s mouth quirked upward. “Anyway, I didn’t make the joke because there’ll be time for that later. Right now, I’d rather know how we can help.”

“What he said,” Jace piped up.

Ellis raised his hand. “Same.”

God, I loved these guys. I did. But also… I slid Levi a searching look, my chest a little tight. “Hey, just, are you sure? I don’t want you to?—”

“Cass,” he cut in. Gentle amusement coated the edges of his tone, mixed with something I couldn’t quite place. “I’m sure. But if you ask me one more time, I’ll change my mind out of sheer irritation.”

“Fuckin’ A,” Mason said. “Let’s do this.”

“So, what,” Jace said. “We just drop some pictures and let the internet have at it?”

Again, I glanced at Levi. He looked at ease, leaning back against the piano with a loose smile playing about his mouth. As though he still belonged here. As though he’d never left.

This room, with its cream walls and high, wood-beamed ceiling, had been our sanctuary. A mix of modern and vintage guitars were mounted on one wall, the piano’s walnut finish gleaming softly. The seating area, with its worn-in leather couch and armchairs, was anchored by a Persian silk rug. When he’d bought it online, I’d teased him about gay stereotypes, likely projecting an unhealthy dash of internalized homophobia. He’d seen it as an invitation to take me apart with his hands and mouth on this very rug, until I’d happily admitted that yes, it really tied the room together. Now could he please stop teasing and fuck me already?

The rug had stayed behind when he moved out. I’d always wondered if it had been left by mistake.

Focus .

“We didn’t really get to the details yet?” I turned it into a question without meaning to.

“Pictures as a first step, yeah.” Levi watched me, his head tilted slightly. “And then something like a nice dinner out, I guess.”

“Engaged by morning,” Mason said as though it was an echo of some previous discussion. “Married by lunchtime. At least if you trust the digital rumor mill.”

Jace gave a grave nod. “Some stranger on the internet said it, so it must be true.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Ellis said. “I’m sold.”

I did what any sane person with an intact self-preservation instinct would do—I ignored them. Instead, I turned to Levi. “Something kind of low-key, maybe? I mean, I’m happy to spring for, like, a Michelin-starred Japanese restaurant. But Italian was always more our scene, wasn’t it?”

“Italian’s great.” Levi paused. “But who says you’re paying?”

I frowned. “Well, you’re helping me. So.”

“But I’m older.”

Really ? I ignored Mason’s half-stifled laugh along with Jace pretending to pass Ellis the popcorn. True comedians, the whole lot of them. “I’m taller,” I said. “Also, you’ve got a daughter while I’ve got no one to spoil but my accountant.”

And my parents, who never said no—a bigger house, a nicer car, monthly transfers. Oh, they loved me. But they loved the money, too, so when I’d told them about Levi, their immediate worry had been that we might want to come out. ‘Think about what it could do to your fanbase. It’s not like anyone needs to know, right?’

Knowing Levi, he’d have exploded at the sheer unfairness of it all. I’d badly wanted him and my parents to get along, so I’d never told him about their reaction.

“ Charity ,” Levi said like it was a sentence all by itself. “That’s how you could spend it. Build hospitals or save giraffes rather than pay for my burrata and tiramisu.”

Okay, this was getting silly. What was his actual problem here? I studied the way sunlight slanted across the angles of his face. “Your burrata is not gonna break the bank, you know.”

“ I’m not your charity case,” he said sharply—and, oh.

“Levi, no.” I shook my head, thought about getting up so I could... could do something , not even sure what. He’d always been proud, sometimes to a fault, and if he felt that my net worth made us anything less than equals—he’d hate that. “It’s just some damn cheese. You could buy truckloads of it. But if it makes you feel better, we’ll split the bill.”

“I’m paying,” he said and fine, whatever. Picking up the tab wasn’t how I’d prove I was a different person. There’d be other ways. I had, what—five days? No pressure.

“Okay.” I smiled at him. “If you insist.”

“I do.”

“Well,” Ellis said brightly. “This was fun. Anyone else, or should we get back to the music?”

“I’m good,” Jace said, while Mason sat up to grab his guitar once more. My gaze lingered on Levi, his profile sharp-cut against the pool’s reflected brightness, until he turned his head and caught me watching him. I fought the impulse to look away, and after a moment, the corners of his lips hitched up just enough to register.

It was a tiny, tiny thing. Yet somehow, it felt like a shift in gravity.

* * *

After a few more songs, we fell back into place. It was fun . Just us, stripped back to the essentials—no stage lights, no screaming fans, only Mason’s guitar and our voices as we slotted back together.

Around one, we stopped for lunch. It came in sleek, logoed bags that screamed health-conscious chic—poke bowls, salads with ingredients that had been labeled ‘superfoods,’ and something green that might fall into the smoothie category. Yeah, my assistant knew my nutrition plan better than me. That’s why I paid her the big bucks.

We had lunch out on the terrace, heat pressing in even under the sun sail that shaded the table. “Organic kale and guilt-free quinoa?” Levi popped open his salad container, a flicker of something almost sweet tugging at his mouth as he shot me a glance. “Reminds me of when you were in charge of dressing room requests until the rest of us revolted.”

“Since Cass sprang for this,” Jace started, all wide-eyed innocence directed at Levi, “would you like to Venmo him? Or write him a check?”

Ellis waved his chopsticks before shoving them into his rice. “Go on, Lee. Show us how far you’ll go. I’m sure Cass’s assistant can set you up with a payment plan for this poke bowl.”

“If I wanted guilt with my lunch,” Levi said, “I’d have ordered something deep-fried.”

“Everyone’s a comedian,” I said. Sweat prickled on the back of my neck—the day’s heat combined with Levi right next to me, my body steadily aware of his proximity. It didn’t seem to wear off, nothing like how our noses tuned out smells after a few minutes. Sensory adaptation, something like that? To do with how our lizard brains were more interested in change because it signaled danger. Cave bears, thunderstorms, brush fires.

Levi was all of that and more—the opposite of safe. But I’d spent years trying to run and it hadn’t brought me anywhere.

“Actually, hold that thought,” Mason said. “Let’s get this show on the road before we dig into the food. Jace—you and my guitar? Make it broody and mysterious.”

“I’m really more of a boy-next-door kind of dude,” Jace commented idly. Regardless, he settled in the grass with Mason’s acoustic guitar, looking just about ready to audition for an indie record cover, all sunlit body and smouldering expression. “Broody enough for you?”

“It’ll do.” Mason snapped the picture just as Jace’s face cracked into a goofy grin.

“ That’s the money shot,” Ellis said around a bite of rice.

Mason showed us the resulting photo. It was soft and sun-flooded, but not as polished as what we would have done in the past, real in how Jace’s hair was unstyled and he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. My team would have advised against posting a similar snapshot of me. ‘It’s about the illusion of authenticity,’ they’d say. ‘Not the actual thing. We want you to look like you just rolled out of bed, but without a full bladder, the imprint of a pillow crease on your cheek, or morning breath.’

In other words—someone just a little less me.

“That works,” Jace said, chill as anything.

Mason did a quick edit and showed us his caption ‘Retro vibes’ before he posted it. Lunch disappeared between jokes about Levi’s apparent vendetta against free food and a quickly escalating spiral of kale conspiracies, all of us trying to outdo each other with ever more ridiculous theories. By the time we were done, Mason’s picture had received nearly a million likes and hundreds of excited ‘oh my god NC reunion it’s true!’ comments.

Breadcrumb number one—success.

Ellis was first to the pool, yanking off his shirt as he went, pants following. “No clothes allowed!” he called over his shoulder before he splashed into the water.

“Band rules,” Jace agreed with a sage nod.

“That was never a thing,” Levi said. “Just because we went skinny dipping once in a hotel pool…”

“And every time we’re here,” Mason said, already stripping. “Also, there’s nothing you lot haven’t seen a million times on the tour bus.”

Levi sent me a quick look that I couldn’t quite read. Unspoken commentary about how he’d spent a limited amount of time here, all things considered? Which was true. This house had been ours for slightly over a year, and we’d been on the road for most of that. Still—to me, our time here carried the weight of decades.

Back then, he’d have been first in the water. Now, he sat back as Mason and Jace followed Ellis, didn’t move until I got up too and tugged off my T-shirt and then stepped out of my shorts, back turned to him in case he wanted to watch.

The water was a cool shock against the heat of the day. I dove under, and by the time I resurfaced, blinking drops out of my eyes, Levi had joined the rest of us, all sharp lines, leaner than he’d used to be and a little quieter, steadier. Sunlight cut across his shoulders and chest, his flat stomach only just hinting at his abs. Short-trimmed hair leading down from his navel, and I snatched my gaze away, hot and guilty.

God, I was hopeless.

For a while, we all splashed about—half-hearted races, Jace dunking Mason, Ellis executing a flawless header that showed off his toned body. Objectively, every single one of these guys was a damn fine specimen. But only Levi had my attention. Always.

Eventually, we clambered out, dripping puddles onto the pool tiles. Somehow, I ended up on the edge, a towel slung around my waist, feet in the water and Levi settling next to me, wrapped in a towel of his own. His knuckles brushed my thigh as he shifted, and I wondered if he noticed just like I did—desire knifing me in the gut, breath lost for a second. I turned my head and found him watching me already. Words wouldn’t come.

“It’s strange,” he said eventually, voice pitched low. “Being back here.”

“Bad?” I asked.

He took a moment, his eyes on the sunlight rippling across the water. “No. It’s like... full circle, in a way?” He let out a quiet breath. “I went through a shit time after we ended. Hated you. Hated myself more. Had to quit drinking and sort myself out.”

I didn’t know what to say so I kept quiet, hands curled into my towel to stop myself from reaching out. I’d gone through my own version of hell—trying to lock my feelings in a neat little box, to drown my regret in fan approval and hookups that didn’t come close to what I’d lost.

“But now,” Levi continued, “being here...” He shot me a small glance, brightened by the smile tugging at his lips. “The end sucked. It really did. But when we were good, we were... We were something else, huh?”

“Yeah.” A heavy, honeyed ache settled in my bones as I returned his smile. “We really were.”

“Beautiful,” Mason commented from somewhere behind us.

We turned instinctively, caught in the act of leaning slightly toward each other as he snapped a picture—not the first, it seemed. “Jace can post this one tonight. Let’s give the fans what they want!”

Levi and I shared a look, neither of us moving for a beat. Then his expression shifted with just a tinge of amusement. “Go on—ask me again if I’m sure.”

“You are?” My tone got caught halfway between a question and a statement.

He reached over and covered my hand with his, the contact warm and fleeing. “Yes, Cass. I’m sure.”

My chest felt too small to contain the beating mess of my heart. By the time I figured out how to respond— ‘Thank you, love you, do you think you could love me again?’ —he’d rolled to his feet and demanded to see Mason’s phone.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, bright sunspots dancing through my vision. Too much, too soon, our history flooding every dark and lonely corner of my mind.

Breathe, slow and steady.

I swallowed, opened my eyes, and slapped a casual smile on my face that would fool most people. Probably not the four who knew me best, though, and in some ways, I was glad for it.

* * *

Ellis left around four to relieve his wife, and Levi and Mason followed soon after to pick up Emily. Only Jace remained, and I was glad he’d agreed to stay with me. I didn’t want to be alone right now.

After I informed my media team that this was happening and no, thanks, I didn’t want to reconsider, Jace and I returned to the pool with a beer each, just floating for a bit before he broke the lazy afternoon hum with “How are you holding up?”

It was a characteristic move for him. With people he didn’t know, he could come across as detached, too-cool-for-school, but really, he was just socially anxious and worried that anything he said could and would be used against him. He cared too much rather than too little.

How was I holding up?

“Processing, I think.” I idly kicked my legs, silken water sliding over my skin. The faint scent of chlorine mixed with summer flowers and sun-baked grass. “It’s this thing I’ve been pondering for... years, really. Months since I started doing small stuff like wearing rainbow bracelets and saying ‘they’ anytime someone asked about my love life. Easy enough to ignore for fans who prefer me straight.”

“A couple cozy pictures of you and Lee don’t mark the point of no return,” Jace said, his tone gently probing.

“I know. Even our dinner tomorrow night—could still claim it’s perfectly innocent.” I paused. “But I’m ready, Jace. I’m ready to do this.”

“Bravo.” He splashed some water at my face, which apparently signaled approval. I sputtered, still shaking drops out of my eyes when he asked, “And what about Levi?”

I paddled my way to a sip of beer while Jace waited. He was the most patient of us all, always had been—like that time on tour when Levi and Mason had spent hours working on the bridge of a song. Jace had sat through it without complaint while Ellis and I had been ready to throttle them, cabin fever running high.

“Levi is, uh...” I took another mouthful of beer, swallowed, and tried again. “I lost my chance—I know that. But I still want… I want to know him again. Even if it’s just as friends. I don’t want to go another five years without contact.”

“You think you lost your chance?” Jace’s voice was low, and I matched him.

“Yeah. He’s got Emily to look after. Our lives are not compatible.”

“Ever consider taking a break?”

“I don’t think I even know how.” My life had been almost nonstop for a decade. What would I do without places to be, songs to record, crowds to entertain? Who was I without all that?

“It’s not as hard as you think.” His voice carried the trace of a smile, elbows propped against the edge of the pool, wet hair sticking up in dark strands. “You just stop . Sleep for a month. And then you take it from there.”

I swam for the deeper end of the pool, restless energy buzzing under my skin. “Do you ever regret quitting?”

“No.” He didn’t even hesitate. “Like, you have to get dolled up for some industry party in a bit because that’s the job. Meanwhile, I can chill here with a movie. Not that champagne schmooze fests are the only reason I quit, but it’s one of them.”

He was right. My stylist would be over later so I could shine in an outfit I was paid to wear because I was famous and rich. Which, yeah—I had money, so I got free stuff. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

I turned to float on my back again, sun in my eyes. “Okay, that’s not the best part. Agreed. But what about other things? Concerts, how happy you can make people just by giving them a hug or a smile…”

”Yeah.” He was quiet for a second. “That’s true. I miss that sometimes. Those nights, you know, when we were just on and the crowd was right there with us. Better than sex.”

“Depends on the sex,” I said with a small grin.

“Thanks, spare me the details. I spent enough nights on the bus with you and Levi to fill in the blanks.”

That was fair, even though the casual mention made my breath catch. I exhaled. “Hey, since you just said you do miss concerts… Sure you don’t want us to do a live performance?”

“Nah, thanks.” Jace sounded relaxed but firm. “It’s been five years—I’d hype myself into a panic attack.”

“All right,” I said. “If you’re sure.”

“I am. I know myself, mate.”

“Kinda jealous.” I aimed for a light, joking tone but didn’t quite get there. When I glanced over, Jace was watching me with gentle eyes.

“I think you know yourself quite well, Cass. It’s just about being true to that. And you’re getting there, aren’t you?”

“I’m trying.”

“Isn’t that all anyone can ever really say?” His philosophical tone came with a teasing lilt, and since there was very little I could say in response, I toasted him with my beer.

“To trying.”