Twelve
Now
Poppy was sitting on a child’s size seat looking at a poster about believing in yourself. There was a giant owl on the poster. Poppy didn’t know what owls had to do with self-belief. Owls were bookish animals. They weren’t go-getters. A salmon would have made more sense. All that struggling upstream business was a much better visual metaphor.
But Poppy wasn’t just in the school corridor to critique the posters, she was here for parent's evening. She was due in to speak to the teacher now-ish. The teaching assistant, Mrs Bauer, popped her weary head out. ‘Mrs Jennings?’
‘It’s Miss, actually,’ Poppy corrected, standing.
‘No, sorry,’ Mrs Bauer said apologetically. ‘I just came to say there’s going to be a delay. We’re talking to Julip’s dad and it’s... running long.’
Julip. Poppy knew the name. Mainly because Luna often came home with gleeful tails of how Julip liked to piss all over the bathroom floor for the sheer sport of it. His dad was clearly in for a long one about his behaviour.
‘Are you OK to wait?’ Mrs Baur asked.
Poppy had left Luna with a neighbour from two doors down, Cherry. She’d babysat Poppy as a kid, so she knew the woman was capable, if getting up there in years now. She was already helping out with Saturdays, but Poppy didn’t want to take the piss.
‘I can hang on a bit, sure,’ she assured Mrs Bauer, though. What else could she say?
‘Great. Sure it won’t be long.’
A set of parents rounded the corner, but she didn’t know them. She’d been back a few months now but was still treading water, socially. ‘Oh, hello, are you waiting?’ the woman asked. ‘We thought we were late.’
‘It’s running a bit long,’ Poppy explained.
‘Oh, umm... We couldn’t jump the queue, could we?’ the woman asked. ‘It’s just, his dad’s got the kids, and he’s a bit... We need to get back as quick as we can.’
‘He’s fine,’ the woman’s husband assured her, placing a hand on her arm.
‘He let them watch The Exorcist!’ she muttered to him angrily.
‘He thought it would be OK because it’s about a kid. I think he forgot all the possession stuff,’ he said defensively.
‘Josh is still having nightmares about pea soup. He’s completely scarred,’ the woman hissed at him.
‘You can go in front of me,’ Poppy said. She didn’t want the woman to come home to a viewing of The Shining.
The woman was relief itself. ‘Bless you. Are you Luna’s mum?’
‘Yeah,’ Poppy smiled. ‘And yours is...’
‘Drew.’
Poppy didn’t know Drew from a hole in the wall. ‘Ah. Yes. Of course,’ she said.
‘Hey, maybe Luna would like to come to Drew’s birthday on Sunday?’ the woman asked.
‘Oh!’ Poppy exclaimed, surprised and delighted. ‘Yeah, I think Luna would like that.’
It was Luna’s first invite since they’d moved. It was a relief to get it. Luna had been absolutely up to her neck in kids’ parties where they used to live. The party silence recently had been slightly unnerving.
‘Great, are you in the class WhatsApp?’ Drew's mum asked.
Poppy smiled. ‘No, actually.’
She’d liked not being on it. The last one had never stopped. She’d had to mute the bloody thing almost every day.
‘Give me your number, I’ll add you,’ the woman said, getting her phone out. Poppy reluctantly recited it. It wasn’t a minute later that Poppy’s phone started lighting up like a pinball machine. Poppy did not outwardly react, but if she could have, it would have been the biggest groan.
A man came out of the classroom looking a bit haggard, no doubt the infamous Julip’s originator. He was fiddling in his pocket, pulling out a vape in readiness for getting out of the building. Poppy wasn’t without pity for him.
Mrs Bauer’s top half made a reappearance out of the door again. ‘Hi, we’re ready.’
‘Umm, I’m gonna let Drew’s parents jump in front if that’s OK?’ Poppy asked.
‘Sure,’ Mrs Bauer said, gesturing to them.
They scuttled in, and the mum, whose name Poppy hadn’t gotten and probably would never get, gave her a whispered, ‘Thanks.’
Poppy fidgeted in the seat, starting to feel a bit numb. But her back straightened when Norah appeared around the corner. Of course, she thought.
‘Hey,’ Norah said with a thin smile. ‘They running late?’
‘Later than you think. I’ve just let some people in front of me.’
Norah sighed and lowered herself carefully onto a tiny blue chair across from Poppy.
‘Who was the lagger? Was it Julip’s dad?’ Norah asked.
‘How did you know?’
Norah raised an eyebrow. ‘You simply cannot stop that boy pissing everywhere. I think he was a fountain in a previous life.’
Poppy smiled. ‘It’s a long-running problem, then?’
‘He peed on my bed once,’ Norah remarked.
‘What?’ Poppy exclaimed, louder than she meant to.
‘Yeah. Freddie had a party, and I guess he snuck off to mark his territory. I had to throw the duvet away.’ She shook her head.
‘Christ,’ Poppy said, unable not to laugh.
Norah didn’t exactly laugh with her, but her mouth did go up at the corner. It was a familiar expression. The quiet mirth of Norah Cauldwell. It was nice to see it.
It was also nice that she wasn’t treating Poppy like something on the bottom of her shoe anymore. Poppy wasn’t counting any chickens, but it seemed that Norah had relaxed around her to an extent. Or at least, she’d accepted Poppy’s continued existence in her world.
For Poppy, that was a big move forward. If it could stop being, at a bare minimum, completely fucking hideous every time they saw each other, that would be a load off for Poppy. She could only see now, as it was easing off, how much it had been wearing her down.
‘Mrs-Miss Jennings?’ Mrs Baur announced, and Poppy gave Norah a nod. Norah nodded back. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to Poppy.
She headed in, wanting to know how her daughter was settling in. It was all good news. For a second, she felt like she wasn’t completely fucking up. It was a nice change of pace.
Twenty Years Ago
Poppy rolled the big bin out to the front of the house for collection and went inside. She washed her hands in the kitchen sink while her mother unloaded the dishwasher.
But when she finished drying her hands, she realised her mother wasn’t unloading; she was staring at her, arms crossed. ‘OK, to hell with it. Spill.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve been waiting for days!’ her mother cried.
‘For...’
‘You went to speak to Norah, and you’ve not said a peep since.’
Poppy was trying to be stoic about it. She wanted to enjoy her new little secret. But she should have known her mother wouldn’t let that happen, the nosy mare.
‘Mum, I’m...’
‘Was it tough? Do you want to get it out? You can have a cry, love,’ her mother said gently.
Poppy folded her arms. ‘You’re assuming I got rejected?’
Her mother’s eyes widened in horror. ‘Oh. Um... I mean, no. It’s just because you didn’t say anything. I thought that meant you were feeling sad about it.’
‘It’s private, that’s all.’
Her mother’s interest was piqued. ‘Is it? How private, exactly?’
‘Stop being such a sticky beak, would you?’
Her mother began to smirk. ‘OK, Pop. I’ll say no more about it.’
‘And stop looking like that,’ Poppy cried.
Her mother turned back to the dishwasher. ‘I think I have all the information I need. For now.’
‘You don’t know anything.’
‘OK. Sure.’
‘Cut that out.’
Her mother put her hands in the air. ‘I’m a closed book on the subject. Anyway, what would you like for dinner? That’s if you have time. You might need to be getting out soon?’ she asked neutrally. However, the question was anything but—she was fishing.
‘Yes, I’m going out. I’m gonna grab something,’ Poppy said casually.
‘Out. Yes. With the band, I expect?’ her mother said, getting glasses out and placing them on the side.
‘I’m not saying anything else,’ Poppy told her firmly.
‘No, of course not.’
Poppy headed upstairs to shower and get ready. She could hear her mother laughing to herself.
***
Poppy texted Norah to say she was outside. She wouldn’t have rung the bell at gunpoint.
Norah came to the door. ‘Hi,’ she said with a lovely shy smile.
‘Hi. Your mum about?’ Poppy asked nervously.
‘No, don’t worry. She’s at her book club,’ she said, stepping back to allow Poppy entry.
Poppy tried not to seem relieved as she walked in. ‘Your mum’s in a book club?’
‘She says she is. But I’ve never actually seen her read anything besides the TV guide. Do you want a coffee?’ Norah asked.
Coffee breath? Poppy didn’t need that. Not with her hopes for the evening. ‘Water would be good if that’s OK?’
They went into Norah’s kitchen, which was identical in shape to Poppy's, if a lot fresher. Norah poured two glasses of water. ‘So, there’s an absolutely crap thing on the Odeon about aliens...’ Norah began.
‘Sounds terrible. I’m in,’ Poppy said. She could kiss Norah in the back row if she was amenable.
Norah handed Poppy a glass of water. ‘Or...’ she began nervously.
‘Or?’ Poppy repeated.
‘I mean, the house is empty.’
Poppy nearly dropped the glass. ‘Oh, right. You’re thinking we might... hang out here?’ she said carefully.
Norah shrugged. ‘I mean, we could just watch something on TV? I don’t know what’s on, but...’
Poppy felt her stomach roll over in the best possible way. ‘TV sounds good. We can just surf. In the living room?’
‘If you don’t mind a smaller TV, we could watch it in my room. So we don’t get... interrupted.’ Norah took a sip of water and glanced at her shoes.
Poppy didn’t know exactly what this meant, and she didn’t want to assume anything. She’d have been more than happy to just sit next to her and hold her hand. But obviously, it would have been even nicer to kiss her. To run her hands over Norah’s body.
But Poppy was determined not to rush. Take it slowly, she warned herself. She just said let’s watch TV.
Norah popped some popcorn in the microwave, and they took it upstairs. Poppy was more terrified with every step. It had never been like this before. Boys were simple. You knew what was what, and you got on with it. This was different. The mystery of what precisely Norah wanted lay in front of Poppy. She had to admit, it was deeply hot.
Or was it simple? Was Norah actually hinting rather hard? Poppy supposed her ability to read her was impeded by the high stakes. They were putting a good friendship on the line, and they both knew it.
Norah led the way into her room, the air thick with anticipation. Norah sat down and flicked the TV. The news was on. She flicked to the next channel, horse racing. She tried again and got an Australian soap.
‘Hey, you gonna sit with me?’ she asked, noting that Poppy was standing like an idiot next to the bed.
Poppy’s heart raced as she settled onto Norah's bed, feeling the warmth of her proximity.
‘You OK with this?’ Norah asked, nodding at the TV.
‘Sure,’ Poppy agreed.
As they settled in to watch, a comfortable silence enveloped them, broken only by the occasional rustling of popcorn.
Poppy stole glances at Norah, admiring the way the flickering light danced across her face. She had never felt this way before, pulled towards Norah like a magnet. And as the soap played on, forgotten in the background, Poppy felt a surge of courage wash over her. It was only enough to take her hand, but the reward was a firm, light grip that made goosebumps travel up Poppy’s spine.
Should Poppy try to kiss Norah? She really didn’t know. She wanted to. But she also kind of liked sitting like this, too. Poppy’s heart said hold her hand, but the contents of her knickers were telling her to hold other areas. Which would win?
‘I’m thinking about kissing you,’ Norah said quietly.
Poppy turned. ‘Thank god,’ she said and pulled Norah to her.