22. Gianna
Chapter twenty-two
Gianna
I’m holding Sophie tightly against my chest like I’m afraid to lose her.
Even though Mateo returned me to my family a few days ago, I cling to my baby more than ever.
Sophie is still quite young to register what’s happening around her and, for that, I’m grateful.
More guards have been trooping in and out of the house since Father’s death.
While Giovanni believes Luca ordered Father’s murder, he hasn’t found any evidence to prove himself right. He has had more of his men at the house to prepare for any surprise attacks.
It is all overwhelming for not just Sophie but me, as well.
Bianca had just traded me off to Mateo for a business deal. A similar path my mother has been hellbent to follow through with.
Mateo had been a gentleman, in contrast to Luca. He had willingly let me return to my child and family, but on the condition I sign the contract for our marriage before the end of the week and then return to his mansion for good.
I only have two days left to make a decision. Either I sign the marriage contract and become his wife or Mateo will have all business involvements with my family cut off—including his army.
We need them more than ever now since Luca is back, taking over the city and trying to get his revenge. None of us are safe. I worry more about my child’s safety. Luca can never find out about Sophie. He promised to kill me and my entire family. I don't know if he killed Father. It has always been his plan for revenge. If he did, I’ll do anything to protect Sophie from him.
Mother doesn’t look different as she instructs one of the men handling the crematory process of Father’s body. The war has restricted us from holding a burial service to mark his unfortunate demise. Everyone’s aware of the dangers we could encounter. Especially from Luca and his men.
She is clad in a lengthy black dress with a veil covering her head as she mourns Father. There’s a sadness in her eyes that’s unmistakable but, just as I’ve always known her to do, she masks her pain with this enviable strength and a firm gaze when it comes to business and making tough decisions around here.
I must have gotten some of that from her and I’m glad I did. It kept me going and fighting for Sophie. Even though my freedom is only temporary, at least I’m not at the mercy of that stronzo any longer.
The thought of being a wife should have a different effect on me, but it doesn’t. I’m being forced into it against my will. Mother has made it her duty to keep reminding me of my role in keeping the family’s business secure since my arrival.
Giovanni also believes it’s the right decision to make for the family. My choices no longer matter, with both of them agreeing on the same course of action. Marrying Mateo would strengthen our ties and our armies would be unmatched. Just what we need to defeat Luca.
As much as I want to see Luca defeated, I do not want to be their pawn, a trade for a business deal. It’s as if I mean nothing to either of them.
“ Chiamami domani (call me tomorrow),” Mother says to the man before he exits the house.
“That figlio di puttana (son of a bitch) will pay for his sins,” she mutters as she walks to the bar counter.
I cover Sophie’s tiny ears as Mother curses in Italian. “You called for me.”
Mother takes a clean wine glass and pours herself some red wine. She takes off the veil and lights a cigar for herself. “We need the marriage papers signed, and fast.”
I adjust in my chair, holding Sophie firmly as she has somehow fallen asleep. “I have two more days to make my decision.”
“I want that paper signed today.” She takes a drag and releases some smoke in the air.
“Mateo gave me time to think this through,” I blurt defensively. I’m trying to keep my voice down so I do not wake up Sophie.
“There is no time!” Mother yells, hitting the glass hard on the counter. Sophie stirs but doesn’t wake up. “Don’t you seem to understand that we are at war and every move we make now counts? We need to make a strong alliance with the Carusos quickly and avenge your father’s death.”
“I’m not letting you force me to sign the marriage papers when I’m not ready.”
The door opens and Giovanni walks in. His face is drawn in a frown, and his eyes are tired as he stares at us. “What’s the matter, Madre ?"
“Your sister intends to delay the marriage plans and have the enemy win this war.” She kills the light on the cigar and walks slowly away from the bar counter.
“Heaven knows what he did to her,” she adds with a disregarding look.
It pisses me off and I begin to breathe heavily, stopping myself from yelling at her. How dare she?
“You have no fucking idea what he made me go through as his prisoner.” I stop myself from cursing with Sophie around.
“It makes me wonder why he let Mateo have you when he had the opportunity to kill you,” she continues.
“You?”
“Enough, Mother!” Giovanni yells.
I hiss under my breath, glaring at her. I’d be lying to myself if I hadn’t questioned why Luca didn’t kill me when he had me, more than a few times. Perhaps he wanted me to suffer before he did. Well, Bianca ruined that for him.
“This is not the right time to be fighting. Father is dead and his killer still breathes. Luca threatens to take over our family’s business. That’s what we should be concerned with right now.”
Giovanni pinches his forehead and shuts his eyes for a second. “I’m afraid Mother’s right, Anna, we need the Carusos’ alliance to counter Luca and his army.”
It feels like my heart is shattering into pieces. “What are you saying?”
He turns to keep my gaze.
Sophie is sleeping peacefully on my lap. She has no idea of the storm that just hit me.
“Please sign the marriage papers. Not just for the family, but for Sophie.”
“Don’t you dare use my daughter to force me into this,” I say, through gritted teeth.
“Think about it, Anna. Sophie would get to have a father and you will-”
“I’ll sign it today,” I say, cutting him off.
Sophie wriggles in my arms as I stand up, settling her on my chest with her hands sprawled over my shoulder.
“I'm going to go out and buy groceries so we can cook and celebrate my newfound engagement.”
“I’ll get a car ready for you,” Giovanni replies. I retreat back to my room with Sophie in my arms.
It’s a decision I’ve long forced myself to make, but it still hurts. Very much.
However, there’s no stopping it now.
***
I’m scanning through the aisle of toddler food and snacks with Dorothy holding Sophie’s hand.
I couldn’t leave her alone. She has been far away from me for so long that every minute without having her near me kills me.
Giovanni had more guards come with us to the store. Andre drove while two other guards followed.
I grab a box of cereal and add it to the basket when I catch a view of Bianca. It makes my heart skip a beat. If Bianca is here, Luca could be, too. I can’t let him take me back.
My God, Sophie.
“Please don’t run or shout,” she says in a calm tone.
“Stay away from me.”
My heart’s pounding in my chest as I try to reach for Dorothy’s arm behind me. I want to tell her to run as fast as she can, but I have no fucking idea if the store is surrounded by Luca’s men. How did she find me?
Sophie makes some noise from behind.
Fuck .
“Gianna.”
“Stay the fuck away from me.” I drop the basket to the floor and slide out my gun from the pocket of my jacket. I’m glad I followed Giovanni’s instructions this time. Bianca raises her hand in the air as I point the gun at her face.
“Woah, easy there.” Her face is almost hidden in the baseball cap she has on.
“How did you find me?”
Bianca ignores my question and looks over my shoulder instead, her face paling. “Fucking Christ, who is that...”
She tries to take a step closer, but I stop her from moving by moving the gun closer to her. “Stay away from us.”
“My gosh! She looks just like him…”
“Stop. Stop,” I interrupt her.
Sophie starts to cry and Dorothy tries to calm her.
“Gianna, please, you are making her scared. Please, put the gun down. I just want to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“He knows.”
No... no.
My fingers begin to tremble as I stare at her, confused and angry, trying to steady my breath. I failed to protect her. “How? How?”
“It’s Luca; he always finds out.”
I lower the gun, completely disturbed by the knowledge that Luca knows Sophie is his child.
“He wants to see you,” Bianca adds.
“No fucking way,” I shake my head in response.
“Please, Gianna. We just want to talk. He has a daughter and you have kept her away from him.”
“He left us. Left me. He has no fucking right to try to get to know her now.”
“I think you know him well enough not to give up, especially when it comes to family. Sophie is a De Santi.”
“No, she’s not. She’ll never be,” I retort, irritated.
Bianca sighs, keeping her gaze locked with mine. “Please, Gianna. Don’t make this hard for any of us. It would only be for a couple of minutes and, I swear on my life, he won't try to take you or your daughter.”
I stare at her in silence, contemplating my decisions. I’ve had to make hard choices lately. Luca won’t stop coming for me now if he truly knows about Sophie.
“I promise no one will hurt you. You have my word.” I turn to Dorothy and stare at my baby for a second. “Stay here,” I instruct.
Bianca flashes a smile as she lets out a sigh of relief.
“I’m only doing this to protect her.”
She turns around and begins to lead the way. “I know,” she replies softly.
My nerves start to flood the moment I see Luca. He was pacing the bathroom when we walked in. He looks unsettled as he stops in his tracks and stares back at me.
My stomach coils and I feel a rage reignite in me again… remembering everything he did to me.
“It’s true, Luca. She looks just like you.”
Luca breaks the gaze and looks at his sister instead.
She nods in response, like he needed reassurance that what she had said was true.
“Why have you kept her away from me?” Luca starts to walk closer to me. I can tell he is mad with his furrowed brows and clenched fists. “Were you ever going to tell me that I have a child?” His voice has gotten louder.
“No!” I say firmly.
“You think I don't deserve to know my daughter?”
“You left me for three fucking years, Luca. Three years with nothing but threats of killing me and my entire family! When you did come back, I no longer knew you. You turned into a monster… you kept me as a fucking prisoner. And now, you’ve killed my father, just as you promised.”
“Bullshit! The plan was to kill him last so I’d have him watch as the people most dear to him died first. Like he did to me.”
I cough out a laugh, infuriated by his claims. How dare he fucking lie to me?
“I'm only standing here because my daughter deserves a life better than this. I’ll do anything to make sure she’s safe and if being your prisoner again guarantees Sophie’s safety, I’ll do just that, for her.”
“You keep forgetting she’s my daughter, too!” he yells.
“Luca, calm the fuck down,” Bianca yells at him.
I take a step backward to maintain distance.
He hisses roughly and curses in Italian.
“Do you ever think you’ll get the chance to see your daughter acting like a fucking asshole?” Bianca adds.
Her words seem to have an effect on him as he takes a few steps backward.
“You should have seen her, Luca. She has your eyes.”
Luca is calmer now as he uses both his fists to cover his face for a second.
“I want to see her.”
I stand on the spot, static, as I watch him stare back at me. I’m shaking my head in response.
“She is my daughter, Gianna.”
“You gave up being her father the moment you walked away, threatening to kill me when I was pregnant with her. Your need for revenge has turned you into a monster… into someone I don’t want her knowing.”
He goes silent for a moment. There is pain in his eyes as he stares at me. “You can’t stop me.”
“Yes, I will. My daughter deserves a better father than you. I can’t have her know the monster you have become.”
Luca’s expression changes. There’s a sorrow in his eyes and I do not feel any remorse for my stand.
“I will be marrying Mateo; it is better that way.”
“You can’t let another man have my child. She is mine!” His anger is beginning to resurface.
“I’d like to go now, Bianca.”
“Please, Gianna, I beg you to let him see her. Just this once,” she says in response.
I hate being put in this position. He has no idea how much he has hurt me. How much I longed deeply for him to be with me when I found out I was pregnant.
I had no one but myself to stay strong for my baby, even when my parents were against me keeping her. Luca was never around when I had non-stop morning sickness for months or when I was so fucking terrified of going into labor… he never experienced all those sleepless nights I spent trying to breastfeed her or calm her into sleep.
The man I loved dearly left me all alone when I needed him the most—to raise our child. Those first weeks of being a mother without him around were almost unbearable—the midnight cries and staying up all night just to watch over my little girl.
I no longer recognize the man standing in front of me. Certainly not the man I fell in love with. He would have never had me locked up in his house like his fucking prisoner.
Luca always made me happier than I’d ever been when I was with him. He used to be my safe place. Then I lost him. This was all I ever wanted with him. A family of our own, where we didn’t have to hide anymore.
Remembering our past, I realize my thoughts are quickly shifting. If nothing else, I owe the man with whom I experienced love for the first time a chance to see his child.
“Please,” Bianca adds.
I let out a sigh. “Just this once."
“Alright.”
I walk out of the bathroom first, with Bianca and Luca following behind.
Dorothy is still at the spot I instructed her to stay at. I’m getting nervous as I walk closer to them. I’ve wanted to keep this secret away from him for as long as possible, but I am now leading him right to her.
“What’s her name?” Bianca asks as we get closer.
“Sophie,” I reply, pushing some strands of her hair away from her face and tucking them behind her ears.
Sophie stretches her hand toward me to carry her. “Mama, me up.”
Luca is static as he walks closer to Sophie, looking at her. Sophie reaches for his hand, stretching her arms wide for him to carry her. I notice how tense he gets with his fists clenched by his side, as if he's physically hurting not to reach out for her.
He leaves without saying a word. His face is detailed with anger, pain, or maybe both.
I felt the same when he fucking left me three years ago.
Bianca apologizes before she runs after him.
It’s too late already.
I am about to be a Caruso.