19. Summer
19
SUMMER
T he rhythmic hum of the washing machine filled the apartment as I folded Ava’s clothes at the dining table. Outside, the late afternoon sunlight spilled through the windows, casting long shadows across the room. It was peaceful, but my thoughts were anything but calm.
Enzo’s words from earlier at the museum replayed in my mind, cutting through the quiet. “You’re going to have to tell me the truth eventually.”
He hadn’t pressed further, not with Ava around, but his tone left no room for misinterpretation. He was suspicious—more than suspicious.
I paused mid-fold, gripping one of Ava’s tiny shirts as guilt twisted in my chest. Keeping this secret had always felt like the right choice, but now… now I wasn’t so sure.
Ava was in her room, humming softly as she played with the new stuffed dinosaur Enzo had bought her. I peeked in, watching her for a moment. She was so happy, so carefree, and it made my heart ache.
I leaned against the doorframe. “Ava, sweetheart, are you okay if Mommy has some quiet time for a little bit?”
“Okay!” she said, not even looking up from the little scene she was setting up with her toys.
I smiled faintly and stepped back, retreating to the couch. I sat down, curling my legs beneath me as I stared at the wall.
Mia’s words from our conversation at the café echoed in my mind. “Don’t let this blow up in your face.”
I’d been brushing off her concerns, but now, they felt painfully relevant.
When I found out I was pregnant, I’d convinced myself that I was doing the right thing by keeping it to myself. Enzo had been on the verge of starting his residency, his entire career ahead of him. How could I burden him with a child?
I thought I was protecting him.
I thought I was protecting Ava.
But maybe all I’d done was protect myself—from the possibility that he wouldn’t want either of us.
I picked up my phone from the coffee table, scrolling aimlessly through my contacts until I landed on Mia’s name. I hesitated for a moment before hitting the call button.
She picked up on the second ring. “Summer?”
“Hey,” I said, my voice quieter than I intended.
“What’s going on?” she asked, her tone immediately concerned.
I hesitated, my throat tightening. “It’s Enzo. I think… I think he’s starting to figure it out.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. “You mean about Ava?”
“Yeah,” I said, leaning back against the cushions. “She keeps saying things, little comments that make him suspicious. And I don’t know how much longer I can keep dodging his questions.”
Mia sighed. “You knew this was going to happen eventually, Summer.”
“I know,” I said, my voice cracking slightly. “But I don’t know what to do. What if he hates me for keeping this from him? What if he decides he doesn’t want to be part of her life?”
“Summer,” Mia said gently, “you know Enzo. He’s not that kind of person.”
I rubbed my temples, the tension building behind my eyes. “I just… I don’t know how to tell him. What do I even say?”
“The truth,” Mia said simply. “Start with the truth. The longer you wait, the worse it’s going to be—for both of you.”
After we hung up, I sat there for a long time, staring at the ceiling as guilt weighed heavily on me.
I thought about Enzo’s reaction to Ava at the museum—the way he encouraged her curiosity, the way he smiled when she said she wanted to be a doctor like him. He was already so connected to her, and she adored him.
Was it really fair to keep him in the dark any longer?
Ava wandered into the living room, holding her dinosaur and Bunny. “Mommy, can I watch a movie?”
“Sure, sweetheart,” I said, sitting up.
As she settled on the couch, I grabbed her blanket and tucked it around her. She smiled up at me, her eyes so full of trust that it nearly broke me.
I brushed a curl away from her face. “Ava, do you like spending time with Enzo?”
“Yes!” she said immediately.
“Why?” I asked softly.
“Because he’s fun,” she said, hugging her dinosaur. “And he’s smart. And he tells me cool stories.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I forced a smile. “I’m glad you like him.”
“I love him,” she said matter-of-factly, turning her attention back to the screen.
The words hit me like a freight train.
Later that night, after Ava was asleep, I sat at the kitchen table with my phone in front of me. Enzo’s name stared back at me, the screen glowing faintly in the dark room.
I wanted to call him, to tell him everything, but my hand hovered over the screen, paralyzed by fear.
What if I told him and he was furious? What if he couldn’t forgive me for keeping Ava a secret?
What if I told him, and it changed everything—for better or worse?
I let out a shaky breath and set the phone down.
Tomorrow.
I’d tell him tomorrow.
But as I turned off the light and headed to bed, I couldn’t shake the feeling that tomorrow might be too late.