13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
‘ J ames, wait.’ Evie puffed a little, racing to catch up with him as he turned and walked back into the pub, the interior packed with tourists and locals looking to soak up the joys of a Friday night. Evie lost him briefly before spotting him disappearing through a different door, out towards the garden. She pushed her way through the revellers, squeezing herself past the four deep queue at the bar and following him.
As soon as she pushed the door a rush of cooler night air met her, and a gentler flurry of chatter came from the beer garden at a more sedate level than that of the bar.
‘James, stop,’ Evie heard herself plaintive, whining, and despised herself for it. But it worked. He turned on his heels, his face difficult to read in the darkening evening. ‘What’s going on?’ she paused by him, watching as his eyes blazed at her proximity.
‘I should ask you that,’ he replied. ‘How long have you been seeing him?’
‘Who?’
James ran his hand through his hair, dishevelling it and looking irritated and upset at the same time.
‘The security guy. The man who couldn’t keep his hands off you just now.’
Evie couldn’t help it. She laughed and he looked instantly offended.
‘Don’t.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s not like that, it was just…’ she broke off, unsure what ‘it’ had been, if anything. There hadn’t been enough time to let it de But develop into something but if James hadn’t arrived when he did, would something have happened? She wasn’t sure. 'Whatever it is, it’s none of your business.’
For the longest moment she watched as James fought against saying whatever it was that was on his mind, the feelings chasing themselves like stormy clouds across his face. She realised the same time as him that he’d resolved to allow a small brick in the wall he’d built for himself to come down. In the gloom of dusk she felt him take her hand that was hanging down by her side gently in his. It was the lightest of touch. If she hadn’t been looking for it, hoping for it, she may have been forgiven for not noticing it. But when his fingers lightly grazed hers she gasped lightly at the shock and the familiarity of it.
Almost as soon as he’d touched her he withdrew his hand, leaving her own bereft. ‘You can’t be with him,’ he said, his voice husky but low. Evie had to lean in to hear him properly over the background laughter of the nearest picnic bench filled with drinkers.
Dismayed at her body’s reaction to him and in a bid to gain some control of the situation she felt fiercely annoyed that he could have any kind of say over who she saw.
‘Why not? It’s just a drink, nothing’s going on….anyway, why should it matter to you? It’s not like you want to spend time with me. You’ve ignored me for almost a week,’ she replied, backing away from him. From his touch. The scent of him.
‘Not here,’ he replied, walking further away out of the pub garden and out onto the street under the light of a lamp which had just flicked on. She followed him and stood there, waiting to hear what he could possibly have to say.
‘Well?’ Evie could imagine what she looked like – hands crossed in front of her, eyebrows arched.
James looked at her, his eyes dark as the evening drawing in and she couldn’t help but soften a little at the sadness in them. ‘Just don’t go with him, please.’
‘Why? Why does it matter to you?’
‘It’s not that…it’s just…’ he shuffled, uncomfortable.
‘Just what James?
Aside from the shrieks of gulls overhead and the distant clink of glasses from the pub garden there was silence. Evie shook her head with impatience. ‘I’m going to get that drink,’ she said, turning from him to return to the pub.
James grabbed her elbow. ‘I do like you. Really like you Evie. It’s just all been very confusing. Ever since starting at Horizon Designs and seeing you there.’
She could feel his hand still lightly on her and looked at him squarely. ‘Likewise.’
‘I know,’ she watched as his Adam apple moved up and down as he swallowed. ‘And then the cottage. The work. It all felt too much too soon. Living together, working together.’
Evie shook her head. ‘We’re sharing a house. Not living together.’
‘Same difference,’ he shrugged. ‘Sharing the same roof as you. Seeing you in the kitchen, at the dining table. It just made me feel so comfortable. It gave me an insight into what life could have been like.’
‘If you hadn’t stood me up,’ she said archly and James looked hurt. ‘How do you know we’d have been living in domestic bliss? We could have broken up a year later. Five. This life you’ve become rose tinted about wasn’t a given.’ She said it as much for her as for him. She couldn’t breathe. He was so close she could hear his heartbeat. Could still feel his hand on her and wanted so much more.
‘Evie.’ In his voice was a note of longing. It contained within it their years of friendship. Of knowing. Of seeing someone for all that they are and loving them in spite of, as well as because of it all. She knew if she tipped her head up to his, if she looked into his eyes that would be locked on hers, that she would allow herself to be swept up in the nostalgia for the past. In the hope for something for the future. She would allow him to kiss her and for them to become something again. But to do that meant trusting him and Evie couldn’t be certain that she did. Or that she ever could. He’d broken her heart once and she’d spent the last ten years trying to find someone to replace him and the way he made her feel.
‘No,’ she pushed her hands gently against his chest, feeling the strength of him under her. The look of surprise that appeared on his face would have been comical had it not been for the realisation that he’d thought she would say yes to him. He’d been so certain he had a right to her it hadn’t occurred to him there would be another option.
‘No?’ he repeated, stepping back and holding up his hands in surrender. ‘No to what? I haven’t asked a question.’
She looked at him in the evening light and stepped back half a pace to give herself room to breathe, to make a decision unhindered by his nearness. ‘You know James, and believe me when I say I want…I would want to…’ she looked up at the sky to control her breathing, noting the rich blackness of the night and the stars that watched on. Finding her resolve, Evie looked back at him. ‘You can’t tell me who to date, you can’t be anything more than my boss. If you do…’
He took a step closer to her, approaching her as though she was a cornered animal ready to attack, closing up the small gap she’d made. Reaching out to her he held her chin lightly in his hand and rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. The tenderness of it made her want to cry and when he lowered his head to hers and kissed her gently, she didn’t push him away, she kissed him back. And it felt like home.