CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE #2
Hayden’s lips twitched. “I am.”
Lolli held out a hand to her. “My girl!”
Hayden gave her a high five across the kitchen island.
“Now, let’s give us all a sugar coma!”
“Kye Kye?” Gracie asked sleepily as we made our way upstairs.
She and Keely had talked us into letting them change into jammies and watching half of the Minions movie while we ate sundaes, and during the process, she’d adopted Keely’s nickname for Kye.
“Yeah, Gracie?” he said, a soft smile curving his mouth.
“Would you read me a bedtime story?” she mumbled.
“Can I listen, too?” Clem added.
Hayden stiffened. “I can read to you.”
Gracie sent her sister a careful look. “Can Kye Kye do it?”
Hayden swallowed hard and glanced at her brother.
“Only if it’s okay with you,” Kye hedged, trying to give Hayden the control she needed right now.
“Sure. Yeah. I need to do some homework anyway,” she muttered.
“Do you have everything you need for that?” I asked. “We can do a full school supplies shop one day this week.”
“I got us everything we need for the year,” Hayden clipped.
Shit.
“Okay,” I said softly. “Just let me know if you need more of anything.”
She jerked her head in a nod and made a beeline for her bedroom.
Clem worried the corner of her bottom lip. “She worked all summer so we could get the stuff.”
A muscle fluttered along Kye’s jaw. “She must love you a whole lot.”
Clem nodded.
“Can you read Wild Things?” Gracie asked, oblivious to the new tension.
“Let me see if we have that one,” Kye said.
I crossed to the small bookshelf in her room. “I know we do because it was my favorite when I was about your age. You guys get comfy, and I’ll find it.”
Gracie climbed under the covers and patted the spot next to her. “You gots to be in the middle so we can both see the pictures.”
Kye chuckled as he kicked off his boots and settled against the pillows. “The pictures are the most important part.”
“And the voices,” Clem added, settling in next to them.
I found the book and handed it to Kye. “Your script.”
He grinned, taking it from me with tattooed fingers.
As he opened and started to read, I slowly backed away.
I wanted to give them their moment, but I also couldn’t find it in me to turn away.
I’d heard Kye read to Keely before, but this was somehow different.
He put his all into each voice and every line.
He acted like he’d secretly gone to drama school or been a star of stage and screen.
Gracie’s head drooped, and she leaned it against Kye’s shoulder for a better view of the book.
My heart clenched as Kye’s gaze flicked to her before returning to the book, a look of pure love and relief on his face.
Before long, Clem had an elbow leaned on his other shoulder as she giggled at his especially deep voice on one line.
They looked like they’d been doing this all their lives—exactly how it should’ve been.
“Everything’s cleaned up downstairs,” Ellie said softly as she appeared next to me. Then, she stilled. Her mouth curved as she wrapped an arm around me. “Your ovaries exploding yet?”
“They’re dust,” I admitted.
I’d seen Kye in many different lights over the years: fierce and protective, tender and empathetic, mischievous and troublemaking.
Angry and determined to tear down the world.
Kind and thoughtful. Sometimes, I even thought I caught him looking at me with love in those amber eyes, even if it wasn’t the kind I’d wanted to see there.
But I’d never seen him like this. Like he was meant to be a father.
Tears gathered in my eyes, and I quickly ducked from the room. “What else needs doing downstairs?”
I started in that direction, but Ellie caught my elbow. “Everything’s taken care of.” She searched my face. “It’s going to be a lot. This transition. But I’m here if you need to talk.”
I shoved down all the feelings stirring inside me because it wasn’t about me right now. It was about us giving the girls everything they needed. “I’m good.”
“You’re not, but you will be,” Ellie said softly.
One corner of my mouth tugged up. “I’m an awful liar.”
Ellie pulled me into a hug. “You’re human.”
“Here’s the truth: I’m okay. I’m also not okay. But in the end, I’m okay.”
Ellie laughed as she released me. “Funnily enough, I know exactly what you mean. Everything’s a shit show, but you know you’ll make it through. And even amid the shit show, there’s beauty that can knock you sideways.”
“Like Kye reading a bedtime story to his sisters—sisters who are now safe, fed, and warm.” My eyes burned.
Ellie gave my hand a squeeze. “So much beauty. Just don’t forget that what’s happening is a lot, and you need to take care of yourself.”
I let out a long breath. “I will. Right now, that means a shower.”
“Good. Cope has the key, so we can lock up on our way out,” Ellie said.
“Thank you. For everything.”
“Always.” Ellie gave my hand one last squeeze and then headed down the hall toward the stairs.
I stayed in the hallway for a moment, listening. I could still hear Kye reading. There wasn’t a peep coming from Hayden’s room. And there should’ve been. Teenagers needed music, calls with friends, and a little bit of mayhem. I just hoped she’d find that with time.
Moving down the hall, I headed for the primary suite. I did my best to ignore the massive bed in the center of the room and headed into the closet. Opening a drawer, I pawed through my pajama options and scowled.
Nothing in the assortment read: married woman. Everything spoke of comfort over sex appeal. And there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with that, but at the same time, sometimes I wanted to be sexy. There had been minimal opportunities for that in my life.
The few times I’d tried to go further than simply fooling around, it was as if some invisible force field stopped me. Everything about it had felt … wrong, and it had left me turning that part of myself off in a way. Now, I found I was a little bitter about it.
I grabbed the set of pajamas Rhodes had gotten me for Christmas two years ago. They were covered in wrapped, brightly colored candies, and while far from alluring, they were incredibly soft.
Heading into the bathroom, I quickly showered and did my bazillion-step skincare routine until my face looked like it was covered in morning dew. I flossed and brushed, tamed my hair into loose waves, and then finally admitted I was stalling.
I took a deep breath and moved into the bedroom, where I found Kye sitting on the end of the bed wearing gray sweats and a worn Blackheart Ink tee. His gaze moved up to my face, but his expression was completely unreadable.
My tongue darted out, wetting my suddenly dry lips. “Hi.”
That amber gaze swept over my face. “Gracie and Clem are asleep.”
“Good. That’s good. What about Hayden?” I asked, my fingers twisting in my PJ top.
“She was still reading for English, but I’m not sure I can give her a bedtime.” Kye ran a tattooed hand through his hair, and I saw the lines of strain on his face.
That broke through all my awkwardness and self-centered worry. I crossed to him and ran my hands through his hair, massaging his scalp.
Kye let out a groan as my fingers hit the base of his skull. “Feels like the weight of the world is living right there. One wrong move and I’ll blow it all sky-high.”
“You’re gonna make a wrong move,” I told him softly.
Those amber eyes cut to me, full of accusation.
My fingertips dug in where Kye felt the most pain. “As far as I know, you aren’t some alien life form. And all humans make mistakes.”
“Those girls don’t deserve any more mistakes.”
“No, they don’t. But teaching them how to move on from them is far more important than striving for perfection, don’t you think?”
Kye’s big hands wrapped around the backs of my thighs. “How’d you get so wise?”
My mouth quirked. “Lots of fucking up.”
He scoffed. “Sparrow, you’re as close to perfection as anything I’ve ever known.”
Pressure built along my sternum, but I kept breathing.
“Trust me, I’m not.” I held on to things for too long—the good and the bad.
I took on others’ feelings like they were mine.
I’d used people in an attempt to move on from Kye, even knowing I’d never be able to love them like I loved him.
I could be selfish. And, God, could I hold a grudge.
Kye’s thumbs swept up and down the backs of my legs, sending tiny sparks skittering over my skin. One corner of his mouth kicked up. “Okay, you do have a hell of a vengeful streak.”
I couldn’t focus on anything but Kye’s fingers, but I managed to get a single word out. “True.”
Amber eyes collided with mine as Kye’s thumbs continued to swipe back and forth. Neither of us moved, other than those tiny ministrations. His thick, tattooed fingers shifted, swiping along my inner thighs then.
So far from where I wanted them the most, but I still thought I could come apart with this alone. My breath came in quick pants, faster and faster. And then—
Kye’s phone dinged. It was as if some spell had been broken. His hands were gone, and he was suddenly on his feet, forcing me back and then creating all the distance the room could provide.
I instantly felt freezing as his fingers—fingers that had just been on my body—scrolled on his phone. “I’m gonna go to sleep,” I muttered.
“‘Kay,” Kye said, glancing my way for only the briefest moments. “I’ll put some pillows between us when I get into bed. That way, I won’t disrupt you if I thrash.”
Pillows. To put those walls back in place. To keep all the distance he wanted between us.
“Okay,” I whispered, pulling back the covers.
“It’s just because of the nightmares,” Kye hedged.
I knew he got them. He’d woken the house up more than once after he came to live with us. It broke my heart that all those demons reached him when he was asleep. But this felt like more.
“I can sneak out to a guest room if you’re worried,” I offered.
Kye shook his head. “No. It’ll be fine.”
But I knew the truth. It was anything but.