CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Fallon
ITRACED THE MARKS ALREADY TURNING PURPLE ON MY NECK. It would be a rough few weeks before they went away. At least it was winter now, so I could get away with a scarf or turtleneck. Because every time Kye looked at my throat, guilt swam in his eyes.
But there was no hiding right now. All I had was one of Kye’s tees that fell to my mid-thighs. But as I inhaled deeply, the scents of oakmoss, amber, and Kye swirled. It was exactly the comfort I needed. I just wished I could give Kye the same thing.
I’d seen a piece of him die as he watched the girls pile into Mom’s SUV to stay with her until this was all over.
No bedtime story would soothe the fact that their lives had been disrupted again.
But we would do everything we could to make sure they knew we were there for them no matter what.
Even if they weren’t sleeping under our roof.
Sighing, I stepped back from the vanity mirror and moved to walk back into the bedroom. As my hand closed around the knob, I took a deep breath to steady myself. The soft strains of Kye’s voice seeped through the door, and I frowned as I opened it.
“Yeah, I think a four-person team would be good,” Kye said into his phone as he ran a hand through his hair. “Clem and Gracie are at the same school and do many of the same activities.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Thanks, Holt. I really appreciate you sending your best people. Trace has deputies on the house and schools until then.” A second later, he lowered the phone.
“Something you want to tell me?” I asked.
Kye whirled around, looking so damn exhausted and ravaged that any frustration I had melted away. He gripped his phone tighter as his gaze zeroed in on my neck. “I asked Holt to refer me to his security company. I want a detail on all of you until we catch this person.”
I swallowed hard, the movement painful but also keeping me from saying something I’d regret. “Okay.”
Kye arched a brow. “You’re not going to fight me on it?”
I stared at him for a long moment. “No. Because I know you’re beating yourself up for this, and I’m not going to be mad about a few extra sets of eyes keeping us all safe.”
A muscle fluttered in his jaw. “Who else should I blame? This is happening because of me.” He slammed a fist against his chest. “Because I got mixed up in fucked-up shit.” He slammed his fist again.
“Because I thought I could have you without ruining you. But I did so much worse. I almost got you fucking killed.”
A different kind of fear lit inside me, worse than when I’d been chased on the road, worse even than when I’d been strangled. But I refused to cower. I got right up in Kye’s face, grabbed him by his tee, and held on.
“Don’t you dare,” I snarled. “You didn’t kill those people. You didn’t come after me. You didn’t try to steal all the air from my lungs. Did you?”
“I lit the goddamned match, Fallon. Whoever this is, they’re after me because of what I got mixed up in.”
“So?” I demanded. “They’re fixated on you because you were involved in some underground fights. Anson became a target because he was a profiler. Thea because she showed someone kindness. Cope because he was good at hockey. Is it their fault, too?”
“But I was fucking selfish,” Kye bellowed. “I couldn’t leave the promise of you alone. I couldn’t be happy being safe and cared for. I needed more. I needed you.”
“Then I guess it’s my fault,” I shot back.
Kye gaped at me. “Of course, it’s not.”
“I’m glad you think that’s as stupid as it sounds, but it’s just as stupid as you blaming yourself.”
“I won’t be the reason you get hurt. Worse,” Kye rasped. “I can’t—you can’t ask me to—I can’t lose you, Fallon.”
I muttered a curse and dropped my hold on his shirt so I could reach up and frame his face. “You’re not going to lose me. As long as we both keep holding on.” Tears filled my eyes. “I can’t lose you either. And thinking about you walking away is more than I can take.”
Tears slid down Kye’s cheeks. “What if walking away is the only thing that will keep you safe?”
“That’s not true. This unsub, or whatever you want to call him, already knows we love each other. You think walking away will change that? It’ll just ensure I’m alone as a target. What good is that?”
“Sparrow,” he begged.
“I know you want to keep me safe, and you know I’d do anything to keep you that way, too, but the best way for us to do that is to stick together.”
“I’m fucking terrified that I’ll lose you. That everything my parents said all those years is true. That I ruin everything I touch.”
Fucking hell. I wanted to do some serious damage to Renee and Rex. More, I wanted them to feel the pain they’d inflicted on their son. The agony. The demons they’d put in him.
I stretched onto my tiptoes and held my face to Kye’s.
“You don’t ruin a damn thing. You make everything better.
You’re like the gold in those broken Japanese pots Clem told us about.
You take broken things and make them beautiful.
You take tender spots and make them strong.
But most of all, you let us be exactly who we are and love us for it. ”
“Sparrow …” He said my name like a prayer he desperately wanted to believe in.
“Stop listening to the people who never knew you. Who never loved you. They don’t get to decide who you are. Only you can do that.”
Kye lifted me, my tee riding up as my legs encircled his waist. He gently burrowed his face into the crook of my neck. “Sometimes, it feels like they’re burned into me: their voices and taunts.”
“Burn the truth in instead. Burn me in.” My finger sifted through his hair. “Strong, fierce, kind, gentle. Funny, smart, beautiful, loving. Everything I could ever dream up for myself. Everything I could ever hope for those girls.”
Kye pulled back then, his eyes wet. “Don’t leave me, Sparrow.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
His mouth met mine then, slow and achingly beautiful. His tongue stroked in like a promise, a vow. Kye took three long strides toward the bed before lowering us to it.
“Love you with everything I am,” he whispered, gazing up as I straddled him. “I might not get it perfect—”
“No one does. What matters is that we find our way together.” I reached for the hem of the tee I’d stolen from Kye and pulled it up and over my head.
Those amber eyes flared as Kye took me in, his tattooed fingers skimming my waist. “In my tee, nothing beneath except my ink. You trying to do me in, Sparrow?”
“I don’t want anything on me but you.”
Heat turned Kye’s amber eyes golden. “You need to rest—”
I leaned over him, my hair creating a curtain around us as I took his mouth. “I need you.”
Kye sat up in one fluid motion, ripping off his tee and maneuvering me as he shucked his sweats. “You’re gonna let me do the work while you guide the show, okay?”
I pushed up to my knees, fingers closing around his length and stroking. “Sounds like a fair trade to me.”
Kye’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment as his fingers trailed up my inner thigh. And I knew what this was. It was the ultimate gift of trust. He trusted me not to hurt him, closing his eyes in his most vulnerable state.
As his fingers found my core, those dark eyes opened again. Heat, desire, and love had made a home there. “Love you, Sparrow.” His fingers stroked in, circling in the way I loved. “Everything I have to give is yours.”
“You. That’s all I want. All I need.” I couldn’t hold in my moan as Kye’s fingers curled, dragging down my walls. “Kyler.”
“My name on your lips … I’ll never get tired of the sound.”
My hips rocked against his fingers, and I reveled in the pressure as I stroked Kye. The hint of wetness at the tip had my walls contracting around his fingers.
“She’s killing me before I’m even inside her,” Kye muttered.
My mouth curved. “Let’s see what we can do about that.”
I guided him to my entrance as his fingers slid from me. The stretch walked that line between pleasure and pain, the one we all had to walk if we wanted to live life to its fullest, but I simply let myself feel it all.
My eyes fluttered closed as I slowly slid onto him. Breathing through the stretch and the pressure. Feeling him fill me and knowing it would never change. Because I was in him just as he was in me.
“Show me those blue eyes, Sparrow. Let me see my haven,” Kye coaxed.
I eased my eyes open, taking in the man below me. “I love you, Kyler.”
“Never experienced anything so beautiful, hearing those words as you take me. Feeling them everywhere.”
I rocked against him, testing movements to see if I was ready. Ready for more. Ready for everything.
Kye met me there, doing exactly what he’d said, taking over the effort and the strain on his shoulders but giving me all the control. He let me lead because he listened to my words, to my body. And that was Kyler. So attuned to everything about me that he could move, even before I’d stated a need.
He circled my nipple with his thumb, careful not to stray anywhere near my new ink. The peak tightened, reaching out for more of Kye. His touch, his promises.
We moved together and apart, finding something new that could only ever exist with each other. Kye powered in and out of me, stretching me and making my walls flutter around him. My fingers dug into his shoulders as my back arched and I took everything he had to give.
It was more tonight. More than ever before. Because that final wall had come down, unlocking something new in both of us.
“Sparrow,” he rasped. “Let go. Together. Find it with me.” His thumb circled my clit, sending sparks dancing through me and setting my blood aflame.
My walls trembled in waves as Kye thrust deeper, both of us giving each other the final piece we needed.
My body fractured, and Kye’s golden light filled me in every way.
Just like those pieces of pottery. I took and took and took some more, and Kye rode out every wave with me, not losing my eyes for even a moment.
And as the final swell peaked, I fell onto him, knowing he would catch me.
Just like always.